The boy chasing the sun

Text/Yunzhi

The green train is speeding across the vast land, passing through mountains and mountains, passing through large pure white clouds, all the way to the west. .

Looking through the car window, sometimes there will be a flash of gold or a cluster of pink in the boundless green. It seems that the warm spring has been sprinkled with the primary colors of life and is decorating the approaching summer.

Ah Qi looked out the window silently, seemingly not caring about all this. There were only shadows passing through his eyes, and his brows were furrowed, but there was no trace of emotion.

Yes, he is neither a poet nor a traveler. Why should he pay attention to these things? He is a loser and doesn't even know where his destination is. From early morning to dusk, Ah Qi kept her chin on her back, hunched over, and let people come and go.

He seems to no longer belong to this noisy world, and his soul has long drifted back to the long-gone years...

01

In 2008, Ah Qi was in her third year of high school and was only eighteen years old.

The weather in the south is not very hot yet, and the fan has not started working, but it does not stop it from squeaking all the time. No one dares to sit in the third row in the middle, even though it is a geomantic treasure. , but it is no less than a game in which heads are at stake.

The classroom was noisy one second, but before the head teacher even stepped into the door, his ball-like belly gave him away, so the next second the whole class fell silent.

He leaned behind his back with both hands, holding a piece of paper, and slowly moved the short piece of paper onto the podium. Although the dozens of heads in the room did not dare to raise their heads, their eyes were very energetic and they secretly glanced at the piece of paper. Everyone knows that there is no trick at all, but this is a strange tacit understanding that cannot be explained.

The class teacher’s name was Cheng An, who was in his forties or fifties. He immediately noticed something strange in the classroom.

He glanced at the empty center, immediately took out the paper behind him and spread it flat on the podium, adjusted the glasses that were still on his face, and cleared his throat. Everyone sat upright, because this posture meant that something important was about to be announced.

"On March 30, the day after tomorrow, the Beijing Olympic Games flame lighting ceremony will be held grandly at the ruins of ancient Olympia in Greece. It happens to be Sunday, so the school auditorium will broadcast the event live, and the students who come to watch will Raise your hand. I'll register."

There was silence under the podium.

Cheng An repeated it again, and the original silence was broken, replaced by a lot of whispers.

At this time, Ah Qi slowly raised his right hand, put it down, and then raised it again.

After repeated attempts, Cheng An finally saw it and said, OK Ah Qi, remember to come when the time comes.

The whole class focused their attention on him. Ah Qi nodded, breathing a sigh of relief in his heart, like thousands of horses galloping.

02

Ah Qi knew clearly that on Sunday everyone would go back to watch TV, so who would go to school?

Yes, I’m afraid it’s just him. He doesn’t want to raise his dark hands in public, but what can he do? Who would want to go to an empty auditorium if they had a TV at home?

Although he could not imagine what kind of ceremony it was, it must be shocking. After all, the farthest place he went was the county seat. It would be good to watch such a spectacular scene on TV. When he thought of this, his heart beat fast, but he immediately thought of another terrible thing—— Dad didn't know if he would agree.

Ah Qi’s mother was already thirty-nine years old when she gave birth to him. Unfortunately, she died in childbirth. He has lived with his thin father since he was a child. The family's economy was not good, so my father worked at sunrise and rested at sunset. Normally, my father would definitely be happy and supportive when he heard the news. He might not understand what the lighting ceremony was about, but he would definitely understand that this is a major national event.

But now is the season for picking new tea, and you can work for dozens of dollars a day during the holidays. Ah Qi suddenly felt that he seemed a little ignorant, but the fire in his heart had burned into a raging fire. At this moment, he I wanted to run back and tell my dad the news.

After returning home, he hesitantly told his father about the matter. Instead of refusing, his father said, this is a good thing! I've heard about it too, otherwise I would have asked you to go to my second father's house to see you. This time is good, this time is good.

The honest and dutiful Ah Qi’s father has been used to begging for help in his life, so if he has one less thing, he will feel more at ease. He smiles so much that the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes are piled together.

Ah Qi also smiled. They sat on the long wooden board, immersed in their own happiness.

03

On Sunday, before dawn, Ah Qi got dressed and set off from home. He couldn't bear to take a car. It cost ten yuan to go from home to the county seat. There were not many high school students in the village. Except for the son of the village secretary who became an official, the others were all bald people. There were few people who wanted to go out, and they only had one day a day. Shuttle bus. Young people should exercise more! Ah Qi kept hinting to herself in her heart, and she arrived at school very quickly without realizing it.

He walked into the auditorium. Except for a few teachers on duty, there were only four students.

Seeing his peers, he felt relieved again. These people were probably in the same situation as him, so he randomly found a seat near the front and sat down with his head held high.

After a long time, the big screen flashed. On the altar in front of the Temple of Hera, a woman would use a fire starter to make fire on the concave mirror. The sun shone on it. She held it high. Light the fire and stand in front of the altar.

Ah Qi just watched the sun light the torch, and then was carried and ran amidst a burst of cheers.

That exciting voice quickly infected everyone present. Teacher Cheng An couldn't help but shed tears. He said that Papa Christo was still praying to the sun god Apollo to give us the world. A ray of sunshine gives us fire. The weather was so bad the past few days, but look at how smooth everything went today.

Ah Qi kept staring at the young man holding the torch. He was so energetic and full of energy. How could there be such a huge difference between people? How wonderful it would be if the person holding the torch and facing the sun was myself!

But this thought lasted only a moment. He then thought of the person behind this visual feast - is he called the photographer? This is simply a new world. It would be great if I could become such a person. Just like a bird flying freely in the sky, Ah Qi imagined everything as if he was possessed...

Suddenly Someone patted him on the back, he turned around and met a pair of clear eyes. She reminded him that after letting his classmates go, he had to lock the door and it was time to go back.

Ah Qi was startled for a moment, then blushed and quickly stood up and strode away.

04

The days are passing by leisurely, and many things have changed. For example, Ah Qi and her female classmate had a lively exchange. The leaves of the trees in the school had grown enough to cover up the sky. "Welcome to Beijing" and the cute Fuwa dolls became popular in the streets and alleys.

These are undoubtedly the best spices in the tense and boring senior year of high school.

One afternoon during self-study in the evening, Ah Qi couldn’t sleep so she came out of the dormitory and wandered around. Both roommates were asleep. In this small county town, there were very few people staying in the dormitory, and most of the high school students were day students. born. It's almost midnight, but summer is here and the weather is still very dry.

After wandering around the playground, Ah Qi thought to herself, why not go to the rooftop to cool off and sleep, as she has classes tomorrow.

He climbed the stairs very quietly, for fear of disturbing the few people in the building.

The broken door on the rooftop was actually closed. As soon as Ah Qi pushed it open, he was startled by a panicked voice. Who!

Ah Qi staggered and rushed out of the door. He felt a pain shooting straight down his back. When he turned around, he only saw Cheng An standing there dumbfounded.

Can you meet your class teacher when you go out for a walk in the middle of the night? Ah Qi panicked all of a sudden. He saw the waste paper crumpled all over the floor and the head teacher standing there with pen and paper.

Teacher? teacher? Cheng An shook his head violently a few times. He tiptoed and pulled Ah Qi next to him and sat down. What are you doing in the middle of the night?

Ah Qi did not answer, but glanced up and down at the teacher and the surrounding scene. Cheng An was silent again.

The two men leaned against the wall that was still warm during the day and said nothing, looking at the moonlight, which was clear and cold, light, soft, as quiet as flowing water. Silently pouring on the rooftop. Ah Qi thought, how wonderful it would be if this moment were recorded. He picked up a ball of paper and found that there were many interesting words written on it.

Cheng An wanted to snatch it away, but at this point it seemed that it was irreversible. He said to Ah Qi, can you understand what I wrote? I have been insisting on writing novels, but I always do it secretly, for fear that others will laugh at me!

Ah Qi didn't understand. He tilted his head and asked, "Teacher, you write so well, why do others want to laugh at you?"

Cheng An sighed. After writing the novel, it was very likely that he would not get a penny for anything, and there would be no reward. For an adult like me, it’s just a waste of time. Hey, there are some things you still don’t understand.

Ah Qi really couldn’t see that this man as thick as a cylinder and as thin as a cone could actually like these literary things. Then he nodded and said, Teacher, then I will definitely keep this secret for you.

Cheng An looked at the young man in front of him, sighed, slowly turned around and folded the crumbled papers one by one.

05

The next day, Cheng An walked in with a cheerful face but could not hide his fatigue. Everyone was sitting in the classroom, and the third row was still empty.

"Everyone watched the lighting ceremony not long ago, right? How did it feel?"

Everyone discussed it enthusiastically, and this was undoubtedly the best answer.

"The country is becoming more and more developed, and all walks of life also need talents. We will not talk about anything else in this class today, but we will talk about the future and ideals!"

Again There were a lot of chatter, but no concrete answer. Well, there is no specific form, no law that stipulates that people can't do whatever they want.

Some people say that they drive luxury cars and have air conditioning all year round. Some people say they want to be scientists or pilots.

Although they are all grown-up children, when it comes to this topic, they are still just like elementary school students. It is just that routine. That's right, isn't that what life is all about? I just don’t know whether reality constrains people’s imagination, or whether imagination constrains reality. Cheng An was originally very interested, but when the trivial life was mixed with these, he suddenly felt uninterested and could only smile and nod lightly.

Cheng An unconsciously turned his attention to Ah Qi, a boy with a very low sense of existence. He had no outstanding grades and an ordinary appearance. His family conditions were not good but he never applied for scholarships. What are you thinking about at night? He recalled the scene where he collided with him last night.

Ah Qi's eyes met his own, and he felt that he was a little abrupt. Just give yourself a twist, do you know what the best state of a teacher is? It’s just that every one of you thinks I’m looking at you, but in fact, I’m not looking at anyone!

There was a commotion below, and everyone said it was justified.

Cheng An glanced at Ah Qi again. At this moment, he really wanted to understand his thoughts.

So he deliberately called her by name and searched around just to find Ah Qi.

Ah Qi was a little surprised, because in the whole three years, the math teacher only came to see him once. Although he knew the answer, he still remained silent.

He hesitated for a while and was about to say that he wanted to be a photographer, but who could say this without laughing at himself? He remembered the light at the lighting ceremony and the young man holding the torch, and replied, I hope to chase the sun every day, and I will go wherever the sun goes. Because the sun will shine, heat, and give people endless energy...

Originally, everyone was very interested in listening to these vague words. At this time, I don’t know who said something, and it was migrant workers. ?

The whole class burst into laughter! Yes, I have never heard anyone say that their dream is to be a migrant worker.

Cheng An was lost in thought. Ah Qi lowered his head. He knew that from the moment he opened his mouth to speak, everyone assumed that he was a joke.

The setting sun once again dyed the sky red. A few sunset clouds floated in the distant sky, emitting dazzling light.

06

It’s the end of May in the blink of an eye, which means that senior high school students are about to face an important exam in their lives. The school has given them a few days off to go home and adjust their mentality. Ah Qi went straight to the fields. Today, when he was planting rice at home, other people would naturally hire workers, but his father planted all his own rice.

By chance this year, I just happened to be able to help. As soon as he entered Taguchi, he saw his father's rickety figure. My father is almost sixty years old and he is still doing these rough things. You should know that at this age in the city, he is already ready to retire! Ah Qi's nose felt sore and she quickly ran over.

Farmers, for them, the land is the greatest romance and poetry in life. Every sowing is a moment full of hope, and the fruits of hard work are so satisfying.

Ah Qi rolled up his trouser legs and stepped into the dirt. His father began to tell him about the hungry era, when there was no enough food to eat and no warm clothes to wear.

Every time he heard this, Ah Qi felt a little satisfied looking at his shabby self. If he had been born in that era, he didn't know whether he would survive. Today's life is not a happy one for him. People of his father's generation have put in so much effort for such a life!

The sun at noon was getting stronger and stronger, and Ah Qi felt that his back was going to crack. But at this moment, he remembered his speech and felt an inexplicable affinity for the sun. Was that his sun? So hot, so passionate. Ah Qi straightened her back and became more interested.

After Ah Qi’s father finished speaking that paragraph, he was quiet for a while and then began to repeat it. He was probably thinking about the lines. Ah Qi was not tired of it, so he listened to it over and over again. They bent down, stood up, and bent down again. They continued this movement until the sun returned home, and they did not stop.

The next day, as soon as the sun gave out some light, Dad got ready and set off again, and Ah Qi was also very energetic. Only by working hard can you achieve success.

07

In the intense competition for college entrance examination, Ah Qi was admitted to a third-rate college. You know, the tuition alone costs tens of thousands a year. How Ah Qi wanted to get out of this small county town and see the outside world. He wanted to smell the flowers outside and listen to the cicadas in the unknown area, and then bring all this to people who were as eager to know about it as he was. people of things.

But all this was shattered. He knew that even if he got into a good university, he would have no chance to go to it. Let alone tens of thousands, a few hundred dollars would be a big expense for his family.

Ah Qi sat cross-legged on the mountainside, looking at the green surrounding him. He was wondering, would people outside the mountain not know the scenery in the mountain?

But so what? Looking at her aging father and the rotten walls at home, Ah Qi's crooked thoughts disappeared in an instant.

The top priority is the autumn harvest. I happen to be at home this year, so the rice will not be wasted and can be harvested.

Several years have passed like this, and Ah Qi has become a serious farmer. But the conditions are much better than before. His family also bought a TV set, and he followed the trend and got a mobile phone, but he was always thinking about the outside world. It would be okay if I didn't study and didn't know so many things, but I happened to be literate.

But we can’t leave behind our father who has suffered all his life. What’s that like? It is simply unrealistic for both of them to go out. There is no way to spend so much money.

Ah Qi thought about it day and night. He couldn't bear it any longer, so he expressed this idea to his father who went to the fields with him. He said, Dad, I want to find a job outside. You see, every household has labor outside, and their family is much more prosperous.

Unexpectedly, my father agreed as readily as he agreed to go to school to watch the lighting ceremony.

Ah Qi asked, Dad, what can you do?

This old man who has passed his sixtieth birthday said with open mouth, I am not going anywhere at this old age and I can’t let go of this land.

Ah Qi was so excited that she ran chasing the sun all day without stopping for a moment. He thought to himself, "The sun is not lazy, so what's wrong with me slacking off?"

At night, Ah Qi was just about to fall asleep when she felt a pair of rough hands stroking her hair. He knew it was his old father, and with tears in his eyes he tried not to let it fall or make a sound, as if nothing had happened. He also heard the old man's low sobs.

But dear dad, I have decided to leave, and I will definitely come back to see you often!

08

Ah Qi took the train and arrived at the provincial capital. It was the first time that he saw so many people, and he was pulling his clothes nervously. He looked out of place in the crowd with his gray face.

He was both delighted and at a loss. He even had the idea of ??returning to the small village, but he was quickly snuffed out. He didn't know where to stay. It was too expensive to stay in a hotel. He ran to the corridor of the hospital and sat there quietly. How about spending one night?

Someone patted him on the back. He turned around and met those clean eyes again. The world sounds so big, how can it be so small?

"Ah Qi, do you still remember me?"

Ah Qi looked at the girl in front of him. Of course he remembered it, but the white coat in front of him made him a little unfamiliar.

Seeing that Ah Qi was staring at her, she said, "Why do you feel uncomfortable now that you have become a little doctor?" Shall I show it to you?

Ah Qi shook his head quickly. He nervously hid his canvas bag behind his back, unable to say a word.

But this female classmate was very generous. She said, I will get off work soon, can I treat you to a supper?

She changed her clothes and wore a white gauze skirt and white high heels. She has a slender figure, delicate complexion, confusing eyes, a slightly high and straight nose bridge, tightly closed uncolored lips, and earlobes. , neck without any ornaments. She is so clean and beautiful.

At this moment, she easily picked up Ah Qi’s little broken bag and walked on the street. Ah Qi felt an indescribable feeling in her heart. She straightened her back and realized that this city was... How charming he looked at everything around him, how he wished his eyes were a camera so that he could record it and take it back to show everyone... The streets filled with fireworks are always much more vivid than those shown on TV. He looked at the female classmate holding his canvas bag again, and straightened his back even more.

Many years later, he realized that there is something called self-esteem in this world. It's so strange that it often makes confident people feel carefree and forthright, while making people with low self-esteem feel pain.

09

Ah Qi looked for a job, but no one wanted someone with a high school diploma, so he had to go to the construction site to move bricks. He really did what his classmates said. of migrant workers.

It’s good to have a place to stay, and we’ll take a long-term approach to the future. Ah Qi was still thinking about his dream of photography. Whenever he had time, he went to the provincial library to read books about photography. After making some money, he would send some money home and buy a camera...

After meeting his classmates that time, he was no longer worried about his disgrace. Nowadays, no matter how shabby her clothes are, Ah Qi can sit in the beautifully decorated library and read for a long time without caring about other people's opinions.

Sometimes he would laugh self-deprecatingly. He never thought that he would really become a migrant worker chasing the sun. What an image, because he had to rest on rainy days!

But Ah Qi knows that this world is extremely beautiful. On sunny days, the trees are full of flowers, on rainy days a lake ripples, the breeze flows through the fingers, the fragrance of every street, and the love songs played on every radio station at night. These should be preserved as evidence that we have been in this world.

What he wants is not to be a migrant worker. Although he has endless energy, he will eventually pursue his own sun. Later, he slowly understood that there is actually a sun in everyone's heart. That sun may not be the one hanging in the sky, but it can definitely shine and heat. It is hidden in a corner of the heart, and sometimes it can also cause lightning. Thunder, but all this can disappear as long as there is a gap that allows sunlight to shine in.

10

Ah Qi chases the sun above his head every day. He knows that every step he takes is for the sun in his heart.

As the years go by, my pockets get bigger, and people praise me for the photos I take with my mobile phone.

Just when he was looking forward to all this, his father passed away.

On the day I returned home, it rained heavily. He sat in the train, looking at the dead branches and leaves all over the mountains and plains, unable to shed a single tear.

In Ah Qi's world, one sun has not yet risen, but the other sun has disappeared forever.

Ah Qi returned home and took care of his affairs. It was not until the following spring that he got on the train to leave his hometown. He regarded this as the first time he left here.

This time he did not chase the sun. He did not know where he should go, and he was left to the east, west, north, and south. Suddenly my body felt hot, and the bright moonlight of that night in 2008 suddenly came to my heart.