There are bars in Nanjing suitable for a person to drink quietly, listen to songs and not sing.

Literally, we mean "getting drunk" rather than "drinking".

For most people, "drinking a glass of wine" has long meant a happy time for friends to laugh and laugh. We all have all kinds of memories and expectations (sometimes anxiety) based on the age of each of us and the surrounding environment when we first drank.

It may remind us of cold beer, cocktails, gin and tonic water, whisky and beer, a sip of red wine or something like that.

Over and over again, in the early drinking process of most people, the expectation of alcohol can always meet the actual needs of drinking.

If every time is just right, we will naturally think that "drinking a glass of wine" is a pleasant experience, which not only meets our own needs, but also does not exceed the norms of religious customs. At the same time, it satisfies our desires, caters to the etiquette of social occasions, and helps us relax, cheer up and realize our various pursuit goals. For example, a 55-year-old Finn, when someone asks him for a drink, can't help but immediately think of the warmth brought by drinking a glass or two of brandy or vodka in cold weather when he was young.

If she is a young woman, she may immediately think of a gorgeous crystal cup filled with champagne, fragrant clothes, intimate friendship and romantic atmosphere, or a young man with jeans, beard and long hair at a rock concert, taking out a bottle of booze from a bag full of bottled wine, with flashing lights and smoke, and everyone screaming and screaming, which is exciting. A member of AA said: "Have a drink" is almost synonymous with eating pizza and drinking beer.

Another 78-year-old widow said that when she was in a nursing home, she often couldn't help but think of the habit of drinking a glass of sherry before going to bed. Although this kind of drinking is very natural in our minds, it is misleading in our current situation, and this is also the way some of us start drinking.

If this is the process of drinking, it is unlikely that we will deteriorate into a drinking problem in the future. However, if we look at the process of drinking fearlessly, we will find that no matter how hard we try, there has never been such a perfect and magical moment in our last few years or months of drinking.

On the contrary, we have repeatedly found that our actual drinking amount is far greater than this, which always leads to some kind of trouble in the end. Maybe we just feel a little guilty about drinking too much in private.

But sometimes it will turn into a fierce quarrel, which will affect your work and even lead to serious diseases, accidents, or legal and financial problems. So, when a suggestion of "drinking" appears, now we try to recall the whole process from the beginning of drinking to the last poor drunkenness and hangover.

General friends invite us to drink, which generally refers to the way of entertainment and a cup or two of tasting.

But if we carefully recall all the details of the pain caused by the last drunkenness, we will not be confused by the long-standing impression of "drinking a glass of wine" in our minds.

Now we can frankly admit that in terms of our real physiological reaction, we are quite sure that a cup of yellow soup means that we will get drunk again sooner or later, which will bring a series of troubles.

Drinking no longer means music and joy to us, but memories of illness and regret. A member of Alcoholics Anonymous once said, "I know that if I go to a bar for a drink now, it will never be the same again, just spend a little time and some money."

This drink will exhaust my bank account, my family, my house, my car, my job, my reason and even my life. This is really too big, too expensive and too risky. "

He remembers the last time he got drunk, not the first time he drank.

Get rid of loneliness

Alcoholism is often described as "a lonely disease".

At first, we drank mainly for entertainment, and the infusion of alcohol into the body helped us to become enthusiastic and cheerful in an instant.

But once the effect of alcohol fades, what remains is more alienation and unsociable feeling, which also makes our mood more depressed. At the same time, if we feel guilty and ashamed of our drunken or rude behavior, this tangled and complicated emotion can easily make us feel abandoned and exiled-endless gloom and unspeakable pain. So we quickly picked up our glasses again.

We have contact with people from time to time when we drink. However, most of the conversations we think are important are almost hidden in our hearts and never easily exported. We are sure that we have never been understood, and we often don't care much whether we are understood by others.

Years of drinking make us suspicious, distrustful and self-centered. We habitually show a narrow-minded, stubborn and indifferent attitude, as if we have always been withdrawn and difficult to get along with.

When we begin to have the opportunity to develop normal interpersonal relationships with others and even accept their friendship. Over the years, the burden of inner fear often makes us hesitate, so we begin to feel lonely and depressed. Old thinking in the past can easily encourage us to pick up the first glass of wine again.

How dangerous it is to face the challenge of alcoholism alone. Even if we have great determination and desire, there are few examples that we can beat alcohol on our own. When I am alone, the idea of wanting to drink often appears in my mind furtively. When we feel lonely and empty, the impulse to drink always seems to beat us faster and stronger.

But now we can sail forward with other like-minded friends, and our recovery journey will be safer, more meaningful and more secure. Therefore, we are no longer afraid to ask for help from others. It is not a sign of cowardice to accept others' help in the process of recovery. It is extremely meaningful to cooperate with others, because we all need to help each other.

Of course, each of us needs some alone time to sort out our thoughts, reflect on ourselves, or deal with some private affairs to release the accumulated pressure in daily life. But if you indulge yourself too much and indulge in solitude, it is quite dangerous. Especially when our mentality gradually becomes withdrawn, depressed and self-pitying, it is better to have friends to accompany us than to take care of ourselves alone.

For these reasons, we advise people who have just given up drinking to "avoid being too lonely".

When the idea of drinking comes to mind, if you can stop thinking and talk to someone online as soon as possible, you can at least start to get rid of that dangerous state of isolation.

take action

The more we want to stay away from alcohol, the more we want to drink. So simply staying away from alcohol (or not thinking about drinking) is not enough.

Once you stop drinking, how do you spend your free time? Most of us have formal work to do, but we still have a lot of free time to kill. Therefore, we must cultivate new hobbies, arrange colorful activities to fill these hours, and at the same time find a suitable outlet for the energy once addicted to alcohol.

There are many meaningful things that are suitable for us to do.

1. When you start abstinence, you can take a walk or take a brisk walk. Especially to new places you've never been before. Go for a leisurely stroll in the park or country road, but it's not a tiring March.

2. read. Although some of us can't settle down to study, we really should read some books, which can broaden our horizons, increase our life experience and concentrate more.

Visiting museums or galleries, some people choose photography is also good.

4. Swimming, running, cycling, yoga or other exercises recommended by doctors.

5. Deal with long-neglected housework. Tidy up the wardrobe, dresser, file documents in different categories, or deal with things that we have put off for a long time. But when we do these things, we should not be greedy and do what we can. Don't clean the whole kitchen or all the files at once, but clean one drawer or one folder at a time and do other work another day.

6. Try to cultivate new hobbies. Choose activities that are not too expensive or demanding, purely entertaining, without competitive pressure and refreshing. Such as singing, writing, tropical fish, carpentry, basketball, cooking, bird watching, amateur performances, wood carving, gardening, guitar, movies, dancing, stone carving, potted plants, collection and so on. Many people find that the activities they really like now are actually hobbies that they never considered trying in the past.

7. regain the fun of the past. A watercolor painting, table tennis or go, reading notes, etc. The one you haven't polished for years, continue these hobbies. But if you think it's no longer suitable for you, give it up.

8. Go to class. Learn Japanese or English? Love history or math? Want to know about archaeology or anthropology? Or cooking, computer operation, and then go to correspondence, TV University or adult education (just interest, not necessarily credit certificate). There are many places where you can take classes only once a week. Why not try it? Taking classes can not only broaden your horizons, but also broaden your life. In case you are tired of the content of the class, don't hesitate to quit immediately and learn to give up activities that are not beneficial to you or have no positive, positive and healthy significance. Let us summon up courage to face it again and have the opportunity to appreciate a new side of life besides drinking.

9. Volunteer to do some useful services. Many hospitals, children's service institutions and social welfare organizations are in great need of volunteers to provide various services. We can have many choices. When we can contribute to others, even if it is only a trivial service, we will find it particularly useful. Even when we talk about the process of participating in these activities and related information, we will feel very interested and particularly involved.

10. As most of us know, there are many ways to get a new hairstyle, wear new clothes, change glasses, or even update teeth, which will have unexpected pleasant effects.

1 1. Relax. Not everything we do in our daily life must be positive and innovative. We also need to do some activities purely for fun, such as kites, zoos, comedy movies, soul music, detective stories and so on. If you don't like them, then find other fun activities that have nothing to do with drinking, just treat yourself.