Famous fragments of maternal love

Zikai Feng

China Cultural Center asked me to write an article "My Mother" and send a photo of my mother. Photo I have a four-inch portrait. It always hangs opposite my desk. There is an enlarged one hanging in the hall, so it is better to give this small one away. But where does my mother start this article? Looking at my mother's portrait reminds me of her sitting posture. My mother didn't take the portrait of sitting before she died, but this posture obviously absorbed the negative in my mind, but it didn't come out. Now use pen and ink instead of developer and fixer to expose my mother's sitting image:

My mother is sitting in the chair of the Eight Immortals in the northwest corner of my old house, with a serious light in her eyes and a loving smile on her lips.

The Eight Immortals Chair in the northwest corner of the old house is my mother's old seat. Since childhood, until a few months before her death, my mother has been sitting in this chair whenever she has time. This is a very uncomfortable seat: my old house is three bedrooms and one living room, with my cousin's house on the right and my uncle's house on the left. There is no partition in the middle, only two rows of square chairs on the left and right are the boundaries between the three houses. So my mother sat in a chair with a volley behind her. If it is a sofa chair, three sides are soft and thick walls, and there is no obstacle to volley. However, my eight immortals chair is made of wood. The seat board is at a 90-degree angle with the backrest, and the backrest is only a few sparse wooden strips, only as high as a person's shoulders. Mom has no place to put her head, which is very unstable. Mother also used a wooden village two or three inches high at the foot of the chair to prevent the foot of the chair from rotting on the soil. Therefore, this Eight Immortals chair is so high that it is inconvenient for mom to sit on it with her feet dangling. The so-called northwest corner is the innermost chair on the left. Inside this chair is the door that passes through the exit hall. Behind the hall is the kitchen. Mother sat in the chair and looked in. She could see the stove. The wind blows from the inside, and soot and oil and gas blow on mother, which is very unsanitary. A courtyard three or four feet wide in front of the hall is the wall door. Outside the wall is our dye house. Mother sat in a chair and looked out. She can see customers coming and going and hear the noise in the street. It's not quiet at all. However, my mother is sitting in such an unstable, inconvenient, unsanitary and restless chair in the northwest corner of my old house, with serious eyes and a loving smile on her lips. Why does mother always sit in such an uncomfortable chair? Because this seat is the most urgent in my family. Sitting in this seat, mother can take care of the stove and the shop. In order to give consideration to both inside and outside, mother doesn't care about the stability, inconvenience, unsanitary and restless of the seat.

When I was four years old, my father won the jury, and my grandmother died in the same year. Father Ding Nan is at home, unhappy, entertaining himself with poetry and wine, regardless of family affairs. Ding Nan finally abolished the imperial examination, and his father retired from it. During this period, my mother was in charge of the family business inside and outside. I came out of the study room and went to my mother sitting in a chair in the northwest corner as usual and asked her for something to eat. Mother showed a dear smile in the quarrel, reached out and took down the "hungry cat basket" hanging on the top of the chair, and picked up the cake bait for me to eat; At the same time, there is a serious light in my eyes. Give me a few words of encouragement.

When I was nine years old, my father left my mother and six of us, a few acres of thin land and a dyehouse, and died. My mother bears all the responsibilities at home and abroad. Since then, she has spent more and more time sitting in that chair. Workers often come and sit on the stools inside and talk to their mothers about housework. Shopkeepers often come and sit in chairs outside and talk to their mothers about the store. My father's friends, relatives and neighbors often come to sit in the opposite chair to negotiate or socialize with my mother. When I came home from school on holiday, I went to the chair in the northwest corner to ask my mother for a copper coin as usual. Sometimes these four classes come at the same time, which makes my mother feel at a loss, so she orders, warns or negotiates with the serious brilliance in her eyes; At the same time, encourage, caress or socialize with a loving smile when quarreling. At that time, I was used to this situation, thinking that my mother was born in this chair, and all the four classes were entangled with her.

I left my mother at the age of seventeen to study in a far away place. When I left, my mother's eyes shone with serious light, warning me to treat people and learn how to stand; Show a loving smile to the quarrel and take care of all the details of my daily life and diet. She prepared my tuition, she prepared my luggage, she made me a can of fried rice noodles with lard and put it in my net basket; She made me a small wire board, put two leads in my box and sent me out. When I came back from vacation and entered the shop, I saw my mother sitting in the chair of the Eight Immortals in the northwest corner. She welcomed me home and gave me a loving smile. She asked me about my study, and her eyes sparkled with seriousness. In the evening, she personally cooked some vegetables that I like to eat for me. Under the light, she asked me about my school life in detail, encouraging, teaching or blaming me.

After I graduated at the age of 22, I went to a distant place to serve. I can't live on my mother's lap, but I went back to the province on holiday. Every time I go home, I still see my mother sitting in a chair in the northwest corner, with a serious light in her eyes and a loving smile on her mouth. She treated me like a saint and taught me like a mentor.

At the age of 30, I quit my job and went home to read and write to my mother. My mother still sits in the Eight Immortals chair in the northwest corner every day, with a serious light in her eyes and a loving smile on her lips. It's just that her hair has gradually changed from gray to silver.

My mother died when I was thirty-three. My mother never sat in the Eight Immortals chair in the west corner of my old house again. However, every time I see this chair, I will definitely see the image of my mother sitting in my mind-a serious light in my eyes and a loving smile on my mouth. She is both my mother and my father. She taught me to train me to be a loving mother in strict father. I was born to 33 years old, no, until now. Tao Yuanming's poem said, "I used to listen to what my elders said, but I didn't like it when I covered my ears." I also make this problem; I once accepted all the good things from my mother, but I won't accept all her teachings. So now every time I look at my mother's sitting posture in my imagination, I feel very grateful for the loving smile hanging on her mouth, and I feel very afraid of the serious light in her eyes. This kind of brilliance gives me deep vigilance and strong encouragement every time.

My mother

Lao She

Mother's maiden is a small village outside Deshengmen in Beiping, outside Tucheng, on the way to Dazhong Temple. There are four or five families in the village, all surnamed Ma. Everyone grows some less fertile land, but my brothers of the same age are all soldiers, carpenters, masons and surveyors. Although they are farmers, they can't afford cows and horses. When there are not enough people, women have to work in the fields.

For grandma's house, I only know the above. I don't know what my grandparents are like because they have passed away. As for the farther lineage and family history, I don't even know; The poor can only care about the immediate food and clothing, and have no time to talk about the glory of the past; The word "genealogy" has never been heard of in my childhood.

Mother was born in a farmhouse, so she is hardworking and honest, and she is in good health. This fact is extremely important, because if I don't have such a mother, I think I will have to make a big discount. My mother probably got married a long time ago, because my sister is now an old woman in her sixties, and my niece is one year older than me. I have three brothers and four sisters, but only my elder sister, second sister, third sister, third brother and I can grow up. I am the "old" son. When I was born, my mother was forty-one, and my elder sister and second sister were both married.

Judging from the family where the elder sister and the second sister got married, before I was born, my family was probably average. At that time, the betrothal paid attention to the right door, the eldest sister-in-law was a small official, and the second sister-in-law also opened a pub. They are all quite decent people.

However, I, I brought misfortune to my family: after I was born, my mother fainted in the middle of the night and opened her eyes to see her old son-thanks to the elder sister for holding me in her arms and not freezing to death.

When I was one and a half years old, I killed my father "Dick".

My younger brother is less than ten years old, my third sister is twelve or thirteen, and I am only one and a half years old. I was raised by my mother alone. My father's widowed sister lives with us. She smokes opium, likes playing cards and has a bad temper. For our food and clothing, mother will wash clothes, mend or sew clothes for others. In my memory, her hands are red and slightly swollen all year round. During the day, she washes clothes and one or two big green clay pots. She never does anything perfunctory, even the black cloth socks sent by the butcher are washed white. In the evening, she and her third sister lit oil lamps to mend clothes until midnight. She has no rest all year round, but in her busy schedule, she keeps the yard tidy. The tables and chairs are old, and the copper parts of the cupboard door have long been incomplete, but her hands always keep the broken desktop from dust, and the broken copper parts shine. In the yard, the pots of pomegranate and oleander left by my father will always be watered and cared for, and many flowers will bloom every summer.

My brother seems to have never played with me. Sometimes, he goes to study; Sometimes, he is an apprentice; Sometimes, he also sells small things like peanuts or cherries. Mother sent him away with tears in her eyes, and took him back with tears in her eyes in less than two days. I don't understand what's going on, but I think he's strange. It is my third sister and I who live alone with my mother. Therefore, I always follow them when they do things. They water the flowers, and I get water; They sweep the floor and I collect dust ... from here, I learned to love flowers, love cleanliness and keep order. These habits have been kept by me to this day. When guests come, no matter how embarrassed they are, mom will try to get something to entertain them. My uncles and cousins often buy wine and meat with their own money. This made her blush, but she gave them warm wine to make noodles and made her happy. When there is a wedding or funeral at home, my mother will wash the dress and congratulate herself-a gift may be just two pennies. Up to now, my hospitality habit has not completely changed, although life is so hard, because it is not easy to get rid of the things I used to grow up with.

My aunt often loses her temper. She searched for bones in the eggs alone. She is the king of hell in my family. She died when I entered middle school, but I never saw my mother resist. "I'm not angry with my mother-in-law. Am I not influenced by my sister-in-law? Life is like this! " Mother only says this when she has to explain that this is not enough to convince others. Yes, this is fate. A mother is never too old, nor too poor, nor too difficult. This is all fate. She will suffer the most. She always runs ahead to help her relatives and neighbors: she will bathe the baby three times-poor friends can spend less money on "grandma"-she will shave the children's heads, she will twist the young woman's face ... whatever she can do, she will give whatever she wants. But quarreling and fighting will never have her. She would rather suffer than be angry. When my aunt died, my mother seemed to cry all her life's grievances to the grave. I don't know where a nephew came from, claiming the right of inheritance, but his mother silently taught him to move those broken tables and benches and gave him a fat hen raised by his aunt.

However, mother is not weak. My father died the year Boxer punched. Allied forces entered the city and searched from house to house for property, chickens and ducks. We were searched twice. Mother sat on the wall with her brother and third sister, waiting for the "devil" to enter the door. The door facing the street was open. As soon as the "devil" entered the door, he stabbed the old yellow dog to death with a bayonet and then searched the room. After they left, my mother found me with a broken suitcase. If the box was not empty, I would have been crushed to death. The emperor ran away, her husband died and the devil came. Lotus flames are everywhere in the city, but mother is not afraid. She wants to protect her children under the bayonet and in famine. There are many accidents in Beiping. Sometimes there is a mutiny, the whole market is on fire, and the fireball falls in our yard. Sometimes there will be civil war, the city gates are closed, the shops are closed, and the guns are fired day and night. This kind of panic, this kind of tension, plus the planning of the family's diet and the concern for the safety of the children, can a weak old widow bear it? However, at this time, my mother's heart is horizontal, and she doesn't panic or cry, so she has to make something out of nothing. Her tears will fall into her heart! This carrot-and-stick character was also passed on to me. I have a peaceful attitude towards all people and things and take loss for granted. However, as a person, I have a certain purpose and basic rules, and I can do anything without exceeding my own boundaries. Afraid of meeting strangers, running errands and showing your face; But when I have to go, I have to go, just like my mother. From private schools to primary schools and middle schools, I have experienced at least 20 teachers, some of whom have a great influence on me, and some have no influence at all, but my real teacher, the teacher who inherits my personality, is my mother. My mother can't read What she gave me was the education of life.

When I graduated from primary school, my relatives and friends unanimously wanted me to learn skills to help my mother. I know I should find food to relieve my mother's hard work and hardship. However, I also want to go to school. I sneaked into the normal school-uniforms, meals, books and accommodation were all provided by the school. Only in this way can I dare to learn from my mother. A deposit of ten yuan is required for admission. This is a huge sum of money! My mother struggled for half a month to raise this huge sum, and then sent me out with tears in her eyes. As long as her son is promising, she takes great pains. When I graduated from normal school and was appointed as the principal of a primary school, my mother and I didn't sleep a wink all night. I just said, "in the future, you can rest!" " Her answer was only a string of tears. After I entered school, Third Sister got married. A mother loves her children equally, but if she is a little partial, she should be partial to her third sister, because everything in the family has been supported by her mother and third sister since her father died. Third sister is mother's right-hand man. But mother knew that this right hand must be cut off. She can't delay her daughter's youth for her convenience. When the sedan chair came to our door, my mother's hands were as cold as ice and her face was bloodless-it was April in the lunar calendar and the weather was very warm. Everyone is afraid that she will pass out. However, she struggled, bit her lip, put her hand on the doorframe and watched the sedan chair walk slowly. Soon, my aunt passed away. Third sister is married, my brother is not at home, I live on campus, and only my mother is left at home. She still has to operate from morning till night, but no one has said a word to her all day. The new year is coming, just in time for the government to advocate the use of the solar calendar instead of celebrating the old year. On New Year's Eve, I took two hours off. From a crowded market to a home for cleaning and cooling stoves. Mother smiled. She froze when I heard that I had to go back to school. It was a long time before she sighed. When I should go, she handed me some peanuts. "Go on, son!" "The street is very busy, but I didn't see anything. Tears blurred my eyes. Today, tears filled my eyes again, and I remembered my loving mother who spent that miserable New Year's Eve alone that day. But the loving mother won't wait for me, she has been buried!

The old man is always sad that his children's lives don't follow the track set by their parents. I'm 23 years old. My mother wants me to get married, but I don't want it. I asked my third sister to intercede for me, and my mother nodded tearfully. I love my mother, but I gave her the biggest blow. Times have made me a rebel. When I was 27, I went to England. For myself, I gave my 60-year-old mother a second blow. On her seventieth birthday, I was still far away in a foreign country. That day, according to my sisters, the old lady only drank two mouthfuls of wine and went to bed early. She misses her youngest son so much that she can't say it. After the July 7th Anti-Japanese War, I escaped from Jinan. Beiping was occupied by the devil like that year of Gengzi, but the youngest son that his mother missed day and night came to the southwest. I can imagine how much my mother misses me, but I can't go back. Whenever I receive a letter from home, I always dare not open it at once. I am afraid, afraid, afraid, afraid of this ominous news. People, even if they live to be eighty or ninety years old, will be a little childish to their mothers. Losing a loving mother is like putting a flower in a bottle. Although there is still color and fragrance, it has lost its roots. A person with a mother is calm at heart. I am afraid, afraid, afraid that the letter from home will bring bad news and tell me that this is a flower that has lost its roots.

Last year, I couldn't find anything about my mother's daily life in my home letter. I doubt and fear. I can imagine that if there is misfortune, I will be alone in exile at home, or I can't bear to tell you. Mom's birthday is in September. I wrote a birthday letter in August and half, expecting it to arrive before my birthday. The letter asked me to write down the details of my birthday, so that I no longer had doubts. 1On February 26th, I came back from the convention of the Cultural Labor Army and received a letter from home. I dare not open it. I opened the letter before going to bed. My mother has been dead for a year!

My mother gave me life. I can grow up because of my mother's blood and sweat. I am not a very bad person because of my mother's influence. My personality and habits are inherited from my mother. She never enjoyed a day's happiness, and all she ate when she died was coarse grains. Alas! What are you talking about? Heartache! Heartache!

My mother

Hu Shi

When I was a child, I was too weak to play with savage children. My mother also forbade me to run around and jump around with them. I never got into the habit of playing lively games when I was a child. No matter where I am, I am always elegant. So the elders in my hometown say that I look like a gentleman and call me "Mr. E". After this nickname was called out, everyone knew that Mr. San's youngest son was called Mr. Qi. Even if I have the name of "sir", I can't pretend to be "sir", let alone follow the urchin. One day, I was "tossing copper coins" with a group of children at my door. An older generation passed by and saw me. He smiled and said, "Does Mr. E throw copper coins, too?" I blushed and my heart beat, and I felt lost as a "gentleman"!

Adults encourage me to pretend to be a gentleman, and I have no ability and habit to play, and because I really like reading, I have never enjoyed the life of children's games in my life. Every autumn, my grandmother and I will go to the fields to "supervise the cutting" (the top fields are protected by drought and flood, and the harvest is the best. Every time the tenant asks the landlord to spread the millet, he will supervise the cutting, and the two families will share it equally. I always sit under a small tree and read novels. When you are eleven or twelve, be lively. I actually organized a drama class with a group of classmates, made some wooden knives and bamboo guns, borrowed some fake beards and acted in the village farm. I often do literary works such as Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei; Only once did I imitate Shi Wengong and was shot down from my chair by an arrow from Huarong Road. This is my most lively thing.

In these nine years (1895- 1904), I only learned two things: reading and writing. In writing and thinking, we should lay a little foundation. But there are no opportunities for development in other areas. Once, our village was "friends" (five villages in Badufan, called "five friends", and one village took turns to be a prince's club every year, called "friends") to prepare for the prince's club. Someone suggested sending me to the Kunqu Opera Team in Qiancun to study blowing sheng or play the flute. The elders in the clan objected that I was too young to follow the five friends around the prince. So I lost the only chance to learn music. For 30 years, I have never played an instrument and know nothing about music. I still don't know if I have the talent to learn music. As for learning painting, it is even more impossible. I often cover the lithographs of novel books with bamboo paper to copy the beauty of heroes in the books. One day, Mr. Wang saw it and got a scolding. All the photos in the drawer were found and torn up. So I lost the opportunity to learn to be a painter.

But these nine years of life, in addition to reading, also gave me a little life training. At this point, my teacher is my loving mother.

Every day at dawn, my mother wakes me up and tells me to get dressed and sit up. I don't know how long she sat awake. When she saw me awake, she told me what I did wrong yesterday, and let me admit my mistake and study hard. Sometimes she will tell me all the benefits of her father. She said, "You must always follow in your father's footsteps. I have only known this complete person all my life. You should learn from him and don't lose his shares. " Falling stocks are a disgrace. When she talks about sadness, she often tears. It was not until dawn that she dressed me and urged me to go to early education. The key to the school gate is at Mr. Wang's house; I looked at the school gate first, then ran to my husband's house and knocked at the door. Someone in Mr. Wang's house handed the key through the door. I took it and ran back. I opened the door and sat down to read. In ten days, I was the first person to open the school gate. I didn't go home for breakfast until my husband came.

My mother is the most strict with me. She is a loving mother and a strict father. But she never scolds me or hits me in front of others. I did something wrong. She just looked at me, and when I saw her stern eyes, I was frightened. She didn't teach me a lesson until I woke up the next morning. The crime is enormous. She waited until the dead of night, closed the door, scolded me first, and then punished me, or knelt down or ground my flesh. No matter how heavy the punishment is, I'm not allowed to cry. She taught her son not to vent his anger and asked others to listen.

One early autumn evening, I had dinner and played at the door, wearing only a vest. At that time, my mother's sister, Aunt Yu Ying, lived in my house. Afraid that I was cold, she took out a small shirt for me to put on. I refuse to wear it. She said, "put it on, it's cold." I casually replied: "Niang (cool) what! Laozi is not Laozi. " As soon as I said this, I looked up and saw my mother coming out of the house. I put on my shirt quickly. But she heard this frivolous remark. In the dead of night, she made me kneel and gave me a heavy punishment. She said, "How proud you are to lose my father! Easy to talk! " She sat there trembling with anger and wouldn't let me sleep. I cried on my knees and wiped my tears with my hands. I don't know what germs I have, but I have been ill for more than a year. Doctors come and go, but they can't be cured. My mother is both regretful and anxious. I heard that her eyes can be licked off with her tongue. One night, she woke me up and she really licked my sick eyes with her tongue. This is my strict teacher and my loving mother.

My mother is widowed at the age of 23, and her stepmother is in charge. I can't write one tenth of the pain of this life with my stupid pen. The family's economy is not well-off, and in Shanghai, it depends entirely on the second brother to operate and dispatch. Big brother has been a loser since he was a child. He smoked opium and gambled. When he got the money, he ran out. He ran out and went home to give advice. When he saw the incense burner, he sold it and took out the tin teapot. My mother invited our elders several times and set a monthly fee for him. But he is always short of money, owes money to cigarettes everywhere and gambles everywhere. Every New Year's Eve, there is always a large group of debt collectors in my family, each holding a lantern and refusing to leave in the hall. Eldest brother has avoided going out. Two rows of chairs in the hall are full of lanterns and creditors. My mother goes in and out, making New Year's Eve dinner, thanking the kitchen god and giving lucky money, as if she had never seen this group of people before. In the middle of the night, it was almost "closed" and my mother went out the back door. A neighbor came to my house and each debtor developed a little money. Those who do good and evil, this group of debt collectors went out one by one with lanterns. After a while, big brother knocked at the door and came back. My mother never scolded him. And because it was New Year's Day, her face never showed any anger. I have spent six or seven Chinese New Year holidays like this.

Sister-in-law is the most incompetent and ignorant person, and sister-in-law is the most capable and narrow-minded person. They often quarrel, but because of my mother's good example, they never publicly scold each other. When they are angry, they just don't talk, don't answer, and pull their faces down, which is ugly; When yisow is angry, her face turns blue and she is even more afraid of people. When they were angry with my mother, it was the same. I didn't know this at first, but I gradually learned to read people's faces. I gradually understand that the most disgusting thing in the world is an angry face; The dirtiest thing in the world is to show your angry face to others, which is worse than beating and cursing.

My mother is generous, good-tempered, and because she is a stepmother, she is more attentive and tolerant to everything. Eldest brother's daughter is only one year younger than me, and she always eats and dresses like me. I had a little argument with her, and it was always painful. My mother always blames me and makes me do everything. Later, both the eldest sister-in-law and the second sister-in-law gave birth to sons. When they are angry, they beat their children and scold them to vent their anger. While hitting, scold others with sharp words. My mother just pretended not to hear. Sometimes, she can't help but quietly walk out the door, or go to the neighbor's sister-in-law's house to sit for a while, or go to the neighbor's house to chat through the back door. She never quarrels with her two sisters-in-law.

When every sister-in-law is angry, she often goes in and out every day for ten and a half months without rest, with a straight face, biting her mouth and scolding her children to vent her anger. My mother just put up with it, and when it was too late, she had her own way. At the dawn of this day, she didn't get up and cried gently. She didn't scold anyone, but cried for her husband and herself, and she couldn't keep her husband to take care of her. The first time she cried, her voice was very low and she began to cry. I woke up and advised her that she wouldn't live. At this time, I can always hear the door open in the front hall (the second sister-in-law lives in the east room of the front hall) or the back hall (the eldest sister-in-law lives in the west room of the back hall), and a eldest sister-in-law walks out of the room to go to the kitchen. Before long, my sister-in-law knocked on our door. I opened the door, and she came in, carrying a bowl of hot tea, and sent it to my mother's bed to persuade her not to cry and invite her to drink some hot tea. My mother stopped crying slowly and reached for the tea bowl. Sister-in-law stood and advised for a while before quitting. There is not a word about anyone, and there is not a word about that angry face in the past ten and a half months. However, as we all know, the sister-in-law who makes tea is always the one who has been angry for ten days and a half. Strangely, after this cry, there was at least a month or two of calm and tranquility.

My mother is the kindest and gentlest to others and has never said anything that hurts her feelings. But sometimes she is also very strong and won't be insulted. My fifth uncle is a loafer. One day, he complained in a cigarette shop that my mother always asked someone for help when she had something at home, and she was probably always kind to him. This sentence reached my mother's ear. She burst into tears with anger. She invited several people in her family and called her fifth uncle. She asked him face to face, who she had given and what benefits. She didn't stop until Uncle Wu publicly admitted his mistake and made amends.

I lived under my mother's lessons for nine years and was greatly influenced by her. I left her when I was fourteen (in fact, I was only twelve months old). I have been alone in this vast sea of people for more than twenty years, and no one has ever taken care of me. If I learn a little good temper, if I learn a little kindness to others, if I can forgive and understand others-I have to thank my loving mother.