Contains scary and funny jokes

Are you looking forward to seeing funny and meaningful jokes every day? In fact, in daily conversations in life, we can often use these funny jokes to lighten the atmosphere. Next is the "Horror and Funny Jokes" I carefully prepared for you, welcome to watch!

"Horror and Funny Jokes (Popular)"

1. “Dear friend, when you use a pair of inconspicuous sanitary chopsticks, the entire forest is being cut down and turned into a desert; when you use a small plastic bag, maybe the world will become a white garbage. country". Here comes the joke

2. "Socks decided to leave the pants he had been in love with for many years and switch to shoes. The pants cried and asked: "What's so good about shoes?" Socks replied: "You hang around all day long. "It's better to be in harmony with the shoes than to be as down-to-earth as shoes."

3. Sincerity is not wisdom, but it sometimes emits a more attractive light than wisdom. Sincerity is a This kind of openness of the soul is a kind of crystal clear nobility!

4. Only when you have love in your heart can you be loved. Love is the source of power to create miracles! Even if there is no return, it can warm and purify. Our souls!

5. Happiness is not because we have more, but because we care less. More is a burden, a kind of loss, less is not a deficiency, but another kind of surplus; giving up does not necessarily mean a surplus. It's a loss, but a broader possession!

6. Don't wait for opportunities, but create opportunities. A few more minutes of preparation last night will save a few hours of trouble today. Hard work leads to success.

7. There are candles flickering all around and the sky is dark. I sit in front of you and tell in a low voice: Late at night, there is a person walking in a dead alley with lights on both sides. Under the dim street light, his shadow grew and grew. A person walked towards him and passed by him. As he walked, his scalp suddenly exploded - there was no shadow of that person! The pace of life nowadays. It’s too fast, so many people like to listen to jokes, especially horror jokes. So, let’s be mentally prepared. At the end of each story, you may be suddenly pushed from behind, making you feel weightless. Just like bungee jumping... 8. On Saturday, I slept alone in the editorial office and had a brief dream as usual. Every time I dream, there are flowers and green grass, and I have never had a nightmare. However, this day I broke the routine. I dreamed that a stranger invited me to be a guest on QQ. I don’t know whether this person is a man or a woman. I was young, ugly in appearance, good and evil in character, so I went there in a daze. The place seemed very far away. When I arrived at my destination, it was already dark. When I looked around, I didn't see a single house, only a barren mountain wilderness. There were all kinds of strange plants growing on the ridge, and they were all dry, leaving dark holes all over the ground.

9. When my neighbor Axiang was twenty years old, she had a boyfriend, and then she secretly ate the forbidden fruit. She was pregnant with a child, so she went to the hospital to have the child aborted. At the age of twenty-two, Axiang married her boyfriend. However, she had been unable to conceive the child for three years and had been to many places. At the hospital, the doctor said everything was normal. Just when the couple was disheartened, Axiang miraculously became pregnant. When they went to the hospital for a checkup, the doctor said she was three months pregnant. The couple was very happy. One morning, Axiang woke up and touched her belly as before, and found that it was flat. Just when she was terrified, she suddenly heard, "Mom, I was afraid that you would abort me again, so I Sneaked out. " Said a baby boy who was not yet fully formed lying under the bed.

10. Bai Xiaobai's boss often molested her, sometimes in public situations and sometimes in the office. Bai Xiaobai She couldn't stand the boss's molestation, so she told her boyfriend. She thought he would beat her, but after smoking a few cigarettes in silence, her boyfriend said: Kill him. . The jokes are here

Contains scary and funny jokes (selected articles)

1. Xiaobei’s face is sad, he was fired by his boss today.

< p> 2. Xiaonan is his twin brother, but he is happy, even though he was fired by his boss.

3. Of these two brothers, one has a crying face and the other has a smiling face. Xiaobei felt a little uncomfortable. One night, Xiaonan came back and told Xiaobei what he had experienced today. He smiled, and Xiaobei cried. More and more people liked Xiaobei, and Xiaobei gradually became unpopular. . He was very angry, so at night, he killed Xiao Nan, peeled off his face, looked at his face, looked at Xiao Nan's body, and said: "It's not different, it's the same as mine." , he tore his face off

4. In order to train Su Chen to become a wise king, Ye Zhen taught them their homework every night. After a month, Su Yu understood her hard work and gave them this lesson. Three months later, Ye Zhen went to check the learning achievements of five-year-old Su Chen: "What has your father taught you recently?" "Raise tigers.

"...What?" "He said that when I learn how to do it, he will leave Xiao Huang to me to raise, so that Xiao Huang and I will have no time to bother him or you." ""..."

5. Snow White escaped from the palace and asked someone for directions: How can she find the seven little people. The kind man gave her directions. So she went to the forest and saw There were seven small beds arranged in a small wooden house. Snow White lay down and fell asleep. In the evening, the seven dwarfs came back. Snow White said: "You must be the seven dwarfs in my destiny." "The seven people looked at each other, and then said: "You are in the wrong place, we are Calabash Boys.

6. She is a model, not famous. He is a famous French photographer. He took photos of her and became an instant hit. Later, she worked with many rich men, and every time she got hurt, she would always go to him, who was like a father, for comfort. Later, he died of cancer and gave the studio to her. She discovered his secret in the darkroom. The photo hanging on the string above her head is her, and the same is her in the pool of developer.

7. They are a pair of high school students who fell in love early. Later, the girl passed the exam and the boy went to study abroad. They broke up without mentioning the breakup. She did not choose this major but chose to be a flight attendant. Finally, I met him again on the plane. He said: "Why did you become a stewardess?" She said: "I am waiting for someone, and I hope that the first person he meets when he returns to China is me."

8. Lou Xiyue to Xiao Xu said: "Actually, if you think about it, I'm a pretty good teacher." Tang Xu said coldly: "Oh? Really?" Lou Xiyue: "Yeah, look, I won't charge you for making up the tuition. Your tuition and miscellaneous fees are not charged, and your nap care fee is not charged..." Tang Xu: "Because you are in 18th-year compulsory education...

9. She has just joined the company He was the one who took care of her at that time, but later he was promoted and transferred, and she was replaced by someone else. Many girls in the company were fascinated by him. During the New Year's Eve party, the girls wanted him to come, but everyone who called him got a busy signal. After he arrived, everyone asked why the phone couldn't be connected. They pointed at her and said, "Except her. I answer all calls at any time. ”

10. Xiao Ruirui is the best English learner in the small class. Children who are very curious about knowledge often ask him how to say XX in English.

For example: "Xirui, what do you say kitty cat?" "cat!" "Puppy dog?" "dog!!" "Where's the joy?" Xiao Ruirui thought for a long time, then hesitated and said to the squad leader: "Mea~~"