Workplace psychology, the sorrow of our life

Workplace psychology, the sorrow of our life

Workplace Psychology Our life is sad. Work and life are separate, but everyone wants different things. Some people can study all day for their own career. Let's share the sadness of our lives with workplace psychology. Let's have a look.

Workplace psychology: the tragedy of our lives 1 Do you have your own life outside the workplace?

Almost all of us are going through this. There are also many witnesses around us who shocked us. Why do we allow our career to invade our lives so much? That day, in the office, Phillips suddenly heard Luo Jia say, "I feel like I have no life." This sentence shocked her and gave her goose bumps. Phillips never imagined that Luo Jia, who is aggressive, indomitable and full of energy forever, would say this sentence. And this feeling is too much like myself.

This similarity consists of an irregular lunch at noon every day, endless plans at night, and the rhythm of going to and from Beijing and Shanghai that day. This is also determined by their roles. They are the backbone of the company's business. No one knows why, there are countless things waiting to be done every day.

"Look at the little girl in the company. Every day, she has time to dress herself up. After work, she either plays there or eats here. What's left of my life? ! "Party, get rid of it. Movies and books were shelved. Annual leave, invalid. In every 24 hours, what I lose is lack of sleep, what I lose is the minimum obligation to my children and family, and the rest of the time is just work. This almost infinite responsibility and dedication eventually accumulated into an emotion: unhappy!

They are all "urban evil people"

More and more people feel so unhappy! They call themselves "urban villains". This bad business includes: buying a big house with a loan and having no time to enjoy it; With a fitness card, there is no time to exercise; Endure physical discomfort and have no time to go to the hospital; There are beautiful kitchen cabinets, but most of the time I eat greasy meals in the restaurant. Work permeates our life like fog. If we are not alert, it becomes everything. What is visible is that there is not enough time, and what is invisible is something else.

Deng Yan, 35, has just won a beautiful sales order, and all her colleagues look at her with new eyes. But this excitement is extremely short-lived compared with the anxiety that lasted for three months before. "How many times, I was trapped in complete despair, went to bed with the idea of giving up, and when I got up the next day, I gave myself a sigh of relief. But what am I paying? " Deng Yan can't even tell anyone how much she paid. That's the face that lost women's moisture in the mirror; It is the loneliness when a person drags his tired legs to open the darkroom; It is a machine that gets up early every day and starts after drinking Chinese medicine in a hurry, and goes to bed after drinking Chinese medicine at night.

"I doubt my life. This is a boring and boring life without temperature. " Deng Yan even thinks that the money earned is meaningless when there is no one to share happiness or pain. According to psychology, people's deepest and most important emotional appeal is intimacy. Without it, no matter how high the job is, it can't really settle down. Unfortunately, "I want to establish a close relationship, but it's too much trouble." Even more difficult than competition in the workplace.

In order to escape this unbearable loneliness and satisfy our sense of self-worth, just like addiction, we put more and more energy into the workplace.

Unacceptable "emptiness" and "laziness"

"China and his wife have to go to work, so they have no time to cook. When they go home exhausted at night, the most effective cooking method is to heat and quickly freeze jiaozi before going to bed. " The British "Times" reported that investors are full of interest in the quick-frozen food industry. This kind of black humor expresses the reality of each of us. In such a rapid economic development, everyone agrees that if you don't work hard, you will be abandoned. But that's it. The occupation not only violated our lives, but also violated our lives. This is not an alarmist. What is even more cruel than this statement is the murder cases called "karoshi" and the young people who are not called "karoshi" but are killed by disease. At the beginning of this year, we met Yuan, a fashion magazine editor and blogger, who died at the age of 34.

Now, Wang Han of Hunan Satellite TV, the host who became popular because of humor, has disappeared from everyone's field of vision for nearly two months and reappeared. Due to overwork, he got liver disease (cirrhosis). Not admitted). A tired person like this is still struggling for the seemingly indispensable and meaningful work that the public can't escape. What's the difference between his behavior and Yuan who insisted on blogging and giving various interviews during the post-operative break? The body has to stop and not cooperate to warn us Why do we still think that the state of "leisure" and "emptiness" is so unacceptable and worthless? Who put such an idea above life?

We gradually agree with all this.

Osho said that the perfect existence of life is to be ourselves. Unfortunately, due to the high recognition of the social value represented by the profession, we don't even know how much of our personality, words and deeds are out of our own nature.

After four years as a company executive, Zheng Chengjia often unconsciously recalls when he was not a leader when he was most tired and unhappy. She used to be so free and frank, fond of playing, joking, daring to say and do, and hated taking part in accidental amusement. Now, the rules, no, maybe the lessons, make her converge to her true self day by day. Even from the dress, you can see that casual and stylized clothes are almost no longer worn, and they are all composed of rigid dark gray and dark blue professional clothes, which she once hated most.

In order to maintain the dignity of the leader, for the complicated relationship, and for repeatedly asking for improved performance, she has become less and less picky. Even in her relationship with her husband, she unconsciously used an uncompromising and strong style. Not only her husband, but also she feels that the strong woman in front of her is not herself. In its position, when the professional role makes such a request, we must learn to accept it as soon as possible. But if we are not alert to accept and draw a clear line, these requirements will invade our hearts.

"When we over-identify with professional requirements, we will internalize professional values into ourselves, thus affecting the relationship in daily life." Professor Yan Xu, a psychologist who studies China's job burnout, said that the damage of interpersonal relationships may be irreparable-each of us actually needs the support and energy from these interpersonal relationships that are vital to us.

How to set the boundaries between work and life?

Find out what is most important to you. Let's play a game-

Take a piece of paper and write down the five most important things in your life. It can be a particularly specific person or thing, or an adjective or noun, at will. Then, you need to take away one thing you think you can give up every time. Even if it is difficult, you should abide by this rule. In the end, everyone has only one thing left.

"Reporter Consuelo's five things: son, love, happiness and health; Books. The first thing to be taken away is the book; Second, love; Third, happiness; Fourth, health; The last thing left is the son. "

"Photographer Wu Xiyu's five things: parents, boyfriends, filming, seaside life, reading and painting. Take it away as usual, and the last thing left is the parents. "

This game is very interesting. It's actually quite difficult to remove the same thing. Everyone wants it. Why do you want to remove other important things?

Workplace psychology, the sorrow of our lives II. Principles of psychological communication in the workplace

First, say it out loud.

In particular, speak frankly about your inner feelings, feelings, pains, thoughts and expectations, but never criticize, accuse, complain or attack.

Second, don't criticize, blame, complain, attack or preach.

Criticism, accusations, complaints and attacks are all executioners, which will only make things worse.

Third, mutual respect.

Only by giving respect to each other can we communicate. If the other person doesn't respect you, you should also ask the other person's respect appropriately, otherwise it will be difficult.

Fourth, never speak ill.

Bad words hurt people, as the saying goes, "disaster comes from the mouth."

5. Don't say things you shouldn't say.

When you say something you shouldn't, it often costs a lot of money to make up for it. As the saying goes, "a promise is as good as a thousand dollars", "illness comes from the mouth, and disaster comes from the mouth", which may even cause irreparable lifelong regret! Therefore, you can't make irresponsible remarks, but if you don't talk at all, sometimes it will be worse later.

Six, don't be emotional, especially can't make a decision.

There are often bad words in emotions, which are unreasonable and unclear. Especially emotionally, they are impulsive and irrational, such as quarreling couples, parents and children who have turned against each other, bosses and subordinates who have been opposed for a long time ... especially, they can't make emotional and impulsive "decisions" in their emotions, which makes things irreparable and regrettable!

Seven, rational communication, irrational.

Irrationality is just a dispute, and there will be no result, let alone a good result. Therefore, this is of no help.

Eight, consciousness

Not just consciousness, but everything. What is the best way to say something wrong and do something wrong if you don't want to cause irreparable harm? ! "I was wrong" is a kind of consciousness.

Admit that I was wrong.

Admitting that you are wrong is a disinfectant of communication, which can thaw, improve and transform problems. Just one sentence: I was wrong! How many people's old and new enmities have been written off, and how many years of unbreakable knots have been untied, which makes people suddenly enlightened, put down their weapons, face themselves again, and begin to rethink life, even who I am? In this vast cosmic torrent, people are most concerned about "I". If someone disrespects me, oppresses me, bullies me and insults me, even people who are very close may turn against each other and shed tears. What is running away from home? Examples of death are not uncommon!

Ten, say sorry!

Saying I'm sorry doesn't mean that I really made a big mistake or did something out of line, but it is a softener, which finally gives things room for change and even creates a "paradise". In fact, sometimes you are really wrong, and it is a big mistake not to admit your mistake.

Eleven, let the miracle happen

Since you are willing to apologize to each other, you are creating a paradise and miracle for yourself and your family, making the impossible possible.

Twelve. love

Everything is love, and love is the greatest therapist.

Thirteen, waiting for a connecting flight

If there is no turning point, wait, worry will only help you. Of course, without waiting for the result, you will fall from the world. You still have to work hard, but your efforts may not have results, or you will be desperate, but if you don't work hard, you will have nothing.

Fourteen, patience

Patience is the only necessary condition for waiting. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Fifteen, intelligence

Wisdom makes people not persistent, which is a blessing to the soul.