The Original Works of Xiangyang written by Xia Ying is the most novel.

In one film, I only saw the midfield. I don't know the subsequent plot and ending, but I clearly remember every detail I have seen.

The opening of the film is a sunflower field in the sun. The fragrance of branches and leaves is wrapped in light, and the air is full of vitality, like an unstoppable and endless river.

"Don't you think they are beautiful? Like a burning sunset. " She stood in Marmara Plain, Turkey, a place famous for sunflowers, talking to him around her, her eyes still looking at the place where sunflowers extend.

"I can only insist on coming here by imagining how they grow."

{ 1}

I spend half an afternoon in this crowded city every Saturday just to wait for someone. I always throw a warm look at passers-by aimlessly, a warm look, just to let my eyes have a place to park.

Until the person I was waiting for came, she came from the crowd, her thin calves were exposed to the cold wind in December, and every bangs were carefully taken care of, with delicate makeup that was neither too deep nor too shallow, and every step was full of lightness of flowers.

She is my sister. The only thing that can prove this is the inseparable connection of blood, and our internal differences are so great. In other words, the gap between me and her is so insurmountable.

"Why are you waiting here alone? Didn't I tell you to find friends to go shopping or something? "

"Not everyone is as happy as you are, so many boyfriends want to go to ABC…… ..."

"Son, how to talk." She frowned slightly and her long eyelashes sparkled in the sun. "That's right. Mom didn't call you, did she? "

"Hit a, I hung up. I sent a text message to prevaricate that we were in the library study room and couldn't answer the phone. "

"Thank you! I really got a good sister. " She took my hand, and her mirror-clear eyes were full of smiles that could easily make people fall into the mire.

"Don't look at me like a man." I shook off her arm, freed my hands and hastily inserted them into my pockets.

My sister is not the kind of person with delicate facial features, but when combined, she has an indescribable beauty. Although he is still a high school student, he is not negligent in clothes matching and border decoration. He is good at rhetoric and making friends, which naturally attracts a group of suitors.

Some of them went to a remote temple for her, some stayed in the ward when she was ill, and some even fell out with her family because she gave up going abroad. The process of their pursuit is ups and downs and touching, and it seems that they are shooting an endless idol drama.

"I understand their intentions, but some things ... can't be forced." It's a pity that our heroine always shields those suitors from the heart in such a helpless tone. However, when those admirers are about to give up their unremitting pursuit of her, she will send an ambiguous message and make a condolence call to each other, giving them the illusion of turning back, so they will continue to appreciate her.

I'm not dissatisfied with her behavior as a gamer. Later, I will even miss the heartless woman who came from the sea of people and took my hand to go home together. For her at that time, love was just an accessory to life, just like the label on clothes and the price tag on jewelry. Only she who has a lot of money is above everything and controls everything.

When did it start? Even the proud one is influenced by the label and price. One day, you heard her looking at a tall figure in the distance and saying, "I hope he is the last one." I'm a little tired. " In that case?

She deleted the phone number that was ambiguous with her in the past, but the admirers still enjoyed bombing her sweetly. Then she simply changed her mobile phone. The new buttons are not so smooth, but she really hasn't touched the previous ones.

The boy's name is Mo Shuoyun, with a thin body and deep eyes like a well. Only at a party, he was keenly aware that his sister was a little uncomfortable, so he said firmly, "Let's call it a day." Then he went to his sister, took her hand and said, "I'll take you home."

Falling in love with someone can be so easy, less than a minute before and after. It is easy for her to overthrow her past self and start another life without hesitation. They are dating more and more frequently. Accordingly, in order not to arouse the suspicion of our families, we always pretend to go out together but go our separate ways at a certain intersection. So I spend more and more time alone outside. The library during the day and the coffee shop at night are more often the corners where people come and go. I looked around just to wait for someone who would be late.

Once, I waited for him. He is so tall that he can see people coming in the distance. He told me that my sister was on her way home and she would wait for me at the station near her home. Finally, he suddenly remembered something, then took a piece of chocolate out of his pocket and put it in my palm and said, "It's cold. Here you are." It turns out to be such a person, who goes deep into every inch of life gently and delicately, like a chocolate bar melted in his chest in winter. Then my sister, who is addicted to every inch of trivial warmth, can naturally get relaxed and stable happiness after tasting this secular and superficial icing. That piece of candy paper was folded into a square by me and put in the interlayer of my wallet. I will take it out occasionally and think about their happiness at the moment. I'm just thinking, and I can only think

{picture}

She lives in a small town near Rattle Island, Alaska, which is called the darkest place in the world. The sunshine in the small town is short and the ice sheet is widely distributed. A single desolate tone can't satisfy her obsession and yearning for color. She has been addicted to painting since she was a child, especially like painting bright and warm sunflowers-although she has never seen an endless sunflower garden.

Obviously, this is a story about search and journey. In order to paint a sunflower that can feel like an elephant, she gave up a stable life and insisted on going to Turkey. She said: "I don't want to paint a lifeless plant with illusory colors, nor do I want to make up for my dream with fantasy." I want to paint a vivid life. "

{2}

There are always people around me who are ups and downs in the so-called "love and hate" and are performing their own joys and sorrows. It is easy to fully understand, and then repeatedly, even willingly.

So when Zheng Qiyan tugged at my sleeve with indescribable excitement, close to my ear and whispered something in the subconscious with decibels that could be heard on both sides, I didn't even have the strength to twitch my stiff mouth.

We have only known each other for a few short years, and this whisper will always appear periodically on the floating water.

"I am in love." Well, that's it. This is a stagnant lake of life.

Senior students who are friendly to people, transfer students with beautiful side faces and mysterious background, and thin boys who always stand listening to songs on the bus.

They may all be the objects of Zheng Qiyan's love. What is clear is that Zheng Qiyan is by no means a little girl who likes unrequited love and indulges in her own world. She always disdains to say that unrequited love is the same as assassination, which is very unskilled. When you see something you like, just say it. At least until the result comes out, the initiative is in your own hands.

But Zheng Qiyan doesn't have her sister's irresistible charm. At best, she is just an ordinary member of the crowd. She disappeared when she was released into the crowd. Therefore, her road to love is also full of twists and turns. This seems to be two things that have nothing to do with logic, but under the laws of reality, anything can be established.

The boys she met were always unwilling to follow the script of warm fairy tales in the youth campus, always dragging her forward step by step, facing the fact that everything was just her wishful thinking.

They never refused face to face, always looked at Zheng Qiyan with ambiguous eyes, and occasionally said some tentative words of concern. In private, however, they regard her courage to say "like" as bragging capital, such as showing off her new Nike sneakers or passing a competition. They pretended to be low-key and showed off at will: "Zheng Qiyan of Class 10 confessed to me yesterday. Girls are really troublesome ... "

At the most embarrassing moment, the sanctimonious president of the Student Union with an excellent label unscrupulously circulated the confession written by Zheng Qiyan. This story soon spread in a school with only a few thousand students. It became a part of everyone's trivial conversation, but it ruined a large part of Zheng Qiyan's high school life. At least many years later, you won't forget that when you walk on the narrow campus path, your ears are filled with all kinds of slight noises. They are like insects biting their ears. Although they are not strong enough to tear your eardrum, they make you mistakenly think that this is the only erosion sound in the world. Even if those words don't include ridicule and slander, the influence on the people under discussion can't be drastically reduced. Some people are always happy to be talked about by others, such as the senior who is famous for this matter. He always smiles at the girls who come here and continues to pretend to be gentle.

For some people, every corner of the world seems to be full of sharp eyes, such as shining light, reflecting her inner love, helplessness, sadness and embarrassment. Her whole body and soul were exposed to the sun, and she was made into another look by messy words.

I never understood why the person Zheng Qiyan likes almost always hurts her in various ways. I can't find a more reasonable explanation except that all this is her will.

The object of this love was met through online chat. The other party is a senior three student in a high school near us. Zheng Qiyan's meeting with him is simply destiny takes a hand. I don't agree with this romantic statement. That "he" is just a head that jumps over a huge denominator, and anyone can replace it. Only in Zheng Qiyan's heart, he is unique.

Love is a necessity for Zheng Qiyan's life. Only in love can she return to real life. Regardless of the cost, there is no need to weigh, the determination of moths to put out the fire. Some people call this saturated vitality youth.

Once I asked her if she ever thought that this relationship would go bad one day. At that time, she was holding a mobile phone in her hand, pressing a short message with one finger quickly, and said to me without looking up, Chen Ziyin, you have been with me for so long, don't you understand? Like a person, you don't need to think or learn. This is not a functional problem, it is an instinct, just like eating and drinking water. Just like if I give you orange juice, you will drink it, just like if I give you coke. When a person leaves me, I will feel sorry for him and think of him, but I still have the ability to love another person.

Later, I gradually felt that maybe Zheng Qiyan's almost straightforward logic was right. However, when we are thirsty, we will have the instinct to drink water; When you are hungry, you will have the instinct to eat. Is it only when we feel empty, powerless and unable to land that we will have the instinct of love?

{picture}

She began to say goodbye to her hometown. I left, not because I was bored, but because I wanted to integrate the thoughts accumulated in my journey into my memory of the Alaska ice sheet, and then I learned to love more, and I learned to love by saying goodbye instead of meeting, breaking up instead of combining.

He insisted on going with her. She asked, "It's not just time-consuming to come with me. If we leave together, what will we live on in the future? "

"Sunshine, air, water and love." He looked into her eyes as if he had walked through a magnificent blue lake.

{3}

Winter is not my favorite season. Time slowly crawls through the skin in winter, absorbing temperature, energy and continuity. The whole person, even thinking, has become a part of the long river of rigid years.

This is very similar to our family's personality. We all have strong control to suppress our sensitive nerves. We seldom quarrel, and we don't quarrel over such trifles as who should do the dishes. We are both good at hiding each other, but we secretly speculate on each other.

Parents have been silently watching us grow up, probably to avoid conflicts with us. They won't take the initiative to ask about our test scores and class rankings, but they will call the school's guidance office directly to check our rankings. They won't read our diary letters because their contact books are full of the numbers of our teachers and friends' parents. If our actions violate their standards, they will only express their dissatisfaction in some tentative way.

So when my mother noticed that my sister went out too often, she began to call for a long time at night to inquire about the situation, and her peaceful eyes became sharper every day. However, she always disguises this unnatural appearance as anxiety about the college entrance examination. She began to repeatedly emphasize the importance of the college entrance examination, hoping that her sister could rent an apartment near the school and accompany her every day until the end of the college entrance examination. Sister naturally felt the innuendo in her words, and also understood that this was only a disguised form of close surveillance, so the friction between the two became more and more obvious.

Whenever they disagree about the tight schoolwork and the little time left, I always bury myself in a problem-solving manual, or stare at a variety show that has been turned upside down and keep silent.

"Love", "College Entrance Examination" and "Rebellion" are all far away from me, even the whole youth is far away from me. I pretend to be indifferent and peaceful, give them a vague orientation, and bury myself in a long road with no end in sight.

When I was silent, my heart didn't think or surge, just a blank hole.

My sister finally gave in and agreed to rent a house near the school, saving the time spent on the road every day. Although she and her gentle boyfriend exchange messages day and night.

Out of curiosity, I always go to my sister's apartment with Zheng Qiyan. Zheng Qiyan gets along well with her sister. My sister always pulls her and shouts that they can sit on the sofa and chat all afternoon. There is no interruption, no silence, and every second is saturated with the color of youth.

Sometimes, I think in some ways, they are more like sisters.

{4}

City X, where we live, is a small town surrounded by mountains on three sides. There will be a large range of rain and snow in the deep winter every year. It will snow, but it will not stop for a week.

1At the end of February, it snowed heavily. After school, Zheng Qiyan trotted to me and said, "Ziyin, my family just sent a message that my grandmother was ill. I'm going to the hospital now. " But I have an appointment with him before. Can you explain the situation to him for me? The location is Pizza Hut on the pedestrian street. He will sit in the innermost seat. "

I always seem to play this role. Pass a message, pretend, and watch others' happiness silently.

There are many people in Pizza Hut. I strolled to the end of the corridor, rehearsing how to explain to Zheng Qiyan's boyfriend in the future. At the end, I finally saw the boy who was immersed in reading a magazine.

I saw his tall figure, deep eyes and indifferent expression. I saw the figure coming to me from the sea of people, the handsome guy who put chocolate candy in my palm.

I tried to move my stiff body and looked at the seat next to my other hand, hoping to see a different figure, but I only saw the empty seat next to the wooden window.

The snow outside the window hit the thin doors and windows and gave a slight groan.

It seems that this winter will never pass.

The college entrance examination is approaching day by day, and the differences at home are growing. Parents finally affected the exam results and had to give in reluctantly. No longer use their pretended gentleness to maintain the superficial calm. Mother seems to have found the turning point of this future fate. We don't want her to bear too many subtle clues, so we strongly urge my sister not to use her mobile phone for the time being, but she is under great pressure and worried. My mother's concession on the mobile phone and my concealment of the truth show my non-negotiable persistence here. Finally, the mother's fear of her emotional instability is a prerequisite for the "college entrance examination" to some extent.

Of course, for me, this is really a hard truth to say. I'm afraid Zheng Qiyan and her sister will break up because I punctured the thin paper window, and then their respective sorrows will not be diluted by me.

I always look ahead and think back, thinking of many reasons as an excuse to stagnate and let my disciples develop on their own.

{5}

Spring in X city is sometimes colder than winter, and its coldness is not in the numerical value of temperature, but in unexpected changes. Yesterday was sunny, but today there was a cold current, which easily broke the thin coat. Because there is no defense, cold can be embedded in the cracks of bones and blow the soul into the hole.

In this season, Zheng Qiyan's grandmother passed away.

Zheng Qiyan was brought up by her grandmother, which was undoubtedly a heavy blow to her. She asked for three days' personal leave, but a week later, her seat was still vacant. I decided to see her that day.

Earlier, I always watched movies like Death is a Part of Life and Death is a Door. Perhaps we can say such words of relief after experiencing the process of pain, disappointment and despair, but this process alone is insurmountable for people living in the present.

Zheng Qiyan is wearing a light black coat and has heavy eyes. After opening the door for me with blurred eyes, he went to the back room as if no one had been here at all. I sat in the room opposite her like air, afraid to speak easily, and I didn't know how to speak. Time is prolonged into a weightless existence in silence.

"I was the last person to know, the last person to know her death. The adults hid me, and when I knew it, she was already lying in the coffin. " Finally, Zheng Qiyan broke the silence. She told the story in a calm and frightening voice, just like telling other people's stories.

"Maybe, your parents are in order not to make you too sad. They must be afraid that you can't bear it, so ... "

"This kind of deception is reasonable? Grandma must really want to see me at the last minute. I really want to shake her hand again instead of sitting here! " Her mood became as intense as a rapidly changing electrocardiogram.

I was speechless and wanted to come forward and give her a hug. I didn't expect her to let go of my hand flatly. There is a sharp light in her eyes, and there is never a trace of resentment in the light and shadow.

"Even you, too, you know the truth from beginning to end, you know everything at all, you know he is lying to me, just treat me as a pastime. Why don't you tell me ... what do you people think you are ... what do you say is good for me ... "

At that moment, I was like a balloon punctured by a needle, and my mind was blank. I forgot how to think, only to see her crying face, and finally a faint whisper:

"Purple sound, I'm really scared, afraid that I don't have the strength to love ..."

{picture}

The journey is always more difficult than expected. They started quarreling, refused to give in, and then broke up.

Before he left, he said, "Forget-me-not in Alaska has begun. Let's go back and have a look. That's where we belong. In the past, we lived there like spruce, ice sheet and stars. The sun is the direction of sunflower, and we also have our own direction of life. "

"Not' we', it's you. You can't use' we' to call you and me anymore. "

They parted ways in Derksen, Russia, and the snow outside the window is like their hometown Alaska. He left her, leaving only a line of deep and shallow footprints.

{6}

As a narrator, stories are always unsustainable. I can only present illogical facts, but I can't give a reasonable explanation, and I can't connect everything into a complete statement. Maybe this is life, always separated from what we see and feel.

Time is drawn to the hot summer, the college entrance examination is released, and my sister is out of the list. The dining table is still as calm as ever, because no one eats the bowls and chopsticks flat, and everyone is acting like an old silent film.

Then one night, my mother came back from outside with a roll of paper in her hand. I have never seen her so angry. In front of her sister, she put the paper roll down hard, and the long paper fell to the ground, with many telephone records on it.

"You see, see, just this half a year how many messages have you sent! There are at least one or two hundred articles every day. What time do you spend reading? Somebody else's telecommunications bureau is not enough to hit you with this paper! And almost all of them are the same number! I've already checked. The child's surname is Mo, right? I failed college and you! What are you now! Do you think others will want you in the future ... "

Later, if my father hadn't taken my mother away, I don't know how long she would have been scolded They're just so sad. Their daughter is so glamorous and smart, but she is stuck in the hurdle of youth. They may add a few strands of white hair to this night, and they are more difficult than anyone to accept this fact.

In the quiet room, my sister leaned over and stroked the people without temperature. They used to be all her own, but now they are scattered and hard to remember. I approached her and tried to hold her trembling hand, but my body became stiff for no reason.

Her voice became so soft that it seemed to be sucked away by the air as soon as she left. She said, "He really wants to be with me, but his family won't allow it. He really wants to be with me. "

I crouched down, hugged her trembling body like autumn leaves, and said calmly, "If he really wants to stay, I'm not the one holding you now. If I really want to be with you, I won't say those useless excuses. Sister, you must know better than anyone. He can't hide it from you. It's just that you don't want to accept the facts yourself. "

Then I closed my eyes and listened to the wind all summer.

{7}

People always think of their own stories from other people's stories, but unfortunately I am a person without stories. Or I don't have the courage to bear the hurt. I don't have the courage to love even if my beloved is hurt again and again like Zheng Qiyan. I don't have the courage to give up everything for love like my sister.

So my life has been a stagnant pool.

That summer, I fell in love with S. He is a controversial boy, excellent, talkative, enthusiastic and has a wide circle of friends. Someone told me that he never took a girl seriously, but mostly played with them and took part in accidental amusement. I am a worried person. Although I can't help falling in love with him, I try my best to keep the distance between us.

We watched a fireworks and two and a half movies together. The third movie, about sunflowers, was put into the intermission, and S took my hand and said, Otherwise, let's be together. I don't know why, I was scared, so I broke free from his hand and ran out of the cinema.

I heard his cry behind me, and I heard his clear timbre. He said, "Ziyin, I like you. You like me, too, right? "

I didn't turn around and didn't answer. But he tried his best to escape from his world. I'm afraid he's just lying to me. I'm afraid we'll quarrel, separate and even hate each other in the future. I'd rather fade out of his life like this than get a little hurt.

If I had stopped, I would have known the ending of the movie, I could have watched the fireworks in late summer with him, and I could have made that summer a mark of youth.

If he stops, nod and hold his hand. Even if he didn't really love me, I loved him at least. Unfortunately, I always do this, thinking too much and doing too little. Afraid of losing, afraid to have. I refuse to love because I am afraid of being hurt. I dare not even put an end to my story, for fear of ending in tragedy and being lonely and desolate.

{8}

After another year in this isolated town, my sister was finally admitted to an ideal university.

She will go to Shanghai, the city where Mo Shuoyun lives.

Before I left, I helped with my luggage. During the interval, we talked about some trivial things. She suddenly curled up on the sofa as if she were tired. I don't know why, but I feel like I haven't seen her for a long time. Over the past year, she has lost a lot of weight and heavy bags under her eyes, but her eyes are still there.

"How is Zheng Qiyan recently?" She asked eagerly.

"Very well. Remember the senior she chased before? It was a complete misunderstanding that he came to Zheng Qiyan to talk about love letters that day. I don't know if what he said is true or not. Anyway, Zheng Qiyan believed it. Now two people are together. "

"well. I have been very worried. "

"What are you worried about?"

"Worried about Mo Shuoyun, is it too hard for her?"

"Elder sister, you know all about it." I looked at her in some surprise.

"How could you not know? I always tell her everything, and I know her even better than you. I just didn't expect the world to be so small. "

"Then why are you still ..."

"Even with him? Nourishing yin is basically two different things. I like him, so I try to be nice to him. I can't immediately withdraw all my feelings for him because he betrayed me and cheated me. You always feel that love is hypocritical, false and doomed to fall apart. Maybe your idea is right, but you can't refuse love because of it. If you don't try, how do you know what you have lost? "

My sister can always explain everything to me, but understanding is not enough. Maybe what I lack is just a second of courage, but I can't catch up with that second.

There is always the best sky when you leave, the rails disappear in the folds of the sky, and a large clear dark blue is covered with lenses. They flow silently, much like the sky in the Turkish sunflower garden in the movie.

{Last picture}

At the end of this summer, I watched the second half of the movie.

Russia, Norway, Britain, France, Italy, Egypt, and finally Turkey.

Map, time difference, route, paper plane, people and things met, countless sleepless nights.

When killing my youth and saying goodbye to my lover, I can only stand alone in a deserted sunflower garden.

In the once-in-a-century dry season, sunflowers died in a large area.

The picture at the beginning of the film is just a dream that she pinned on warmth and despair.

"Sunflowers are not necessarily in the direction of the sun, but they must be in the direction where the sun once rose."

She still picked up the brush and painted mottled sunflowers with the strongest tone.

When the sun rises and shines on her canvas, all the dead sunflowers are wrapped in the warmest glow.

If they are flame clouds solidified by years, they will never die. They are rooted in the soil, guarding love and prosperity and growing day and night.