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Upload date: 2007- 10-29 Upload: Chen Yunfei popularity: 3040.

The story of mobile phone

Characters: cauliflower (cross-dressing), dad (behind the scenes), bandit leader, and two small bandits. A big bag, a chair.

When the light came on, cauliflower came out, holding a folding fan, coquettish and wobbly, and came to the center of the stage and said, "Little girl, I am 28 this year.

I felt very confused when I couldn't find my husband. Someone wants me, I'll give him money to spend at once! "Take off the fan and sigh." Ah, it's hard luck. I'm getting bigger. Can't find a boyfriend. When I see my man, I always turn around and run away, just like seeing a ghost. Actually, I'm not bad-looking. I just have a pockmarked face, a upturned ass and smelly feet. What's so spicy about this? Alas, when I saw my sisters who were similar to me talking about marriage, they were a little divorced several times. This really annoys me. If this continues, my youth will be wasted. At this time, if a man comes to rape me, I will ... Hehe, just kidding. I mean, if only a man would marry me now.

! (backstage dad said, "cauliflower, I went out to sell vegetables." Stay at home and don't go out. Recently, several women have been missing from our intersection. It's dangerous, remember not to run around. " ) cauliflower quickly replied: "I know, I know, I have been shouting. You see, this farmer has no education at all. Give me a name and shout cauliflower, and you will say that tender children will have sex. " Just now he said there was a missing woman at the intersection? So ... haha, my chance has finally come! Stand up, sing happily and run backstage. (After the lights are dim, two bandits come from the edge of the stage and look around furtively. Bandit A asked Bandit B, "Did you see the turn?" B replied, "No, are you listed?" A "sister, you see, no new goods have come back for several days in a row, and there won't be any more today. The boss will definitely let us go! " B "Yes, my ass still hurts and it's cold. My sister knows when someone will come. " A "Let's lie in the corner first, and someone will knock her down soon. Did you bring anything? " B "take it" (shake out a big woven bag from your pocket) A "put it away quickly and come here and wait" (they immediately crouch in the corner of the stage to make it hidden). At this time, cauliflower appeared, looking in all directions, with a sinister smile on his face. Hehe, come on, arrest me, and slowly walk to the center of the stage, wondering, "What happened to Nenko?" At this time, two bandits quickly covered the cauliflower with sacks and picked it up. At this time, cauliflower is laughing inside, haha, I succeeded. On the one hand, Party A also said, "Oh, I'm getting fat after this turn, and I can go back to work." Party B said: "Yes, this turn is still laughing, didn't it hit?" A "Ignore her, it's a woman, let's go!" The lights were dim, and when three people got off the stage, they lit up. At this time, the bandit leader appeared from the background and said as he walked. "I was born handsome and charming, and I have lost countless beautiful women. Now I am a fake king, and I want to enjoy being the best in the world! Hum, I think these two eggs brought people back today. They haven't seen anything fresh for days. Even if they grow too much today, I will knock her down. At this time, two bandits came from the background with cauliflower in high spirits, shouting "Boss, we are back". The boss was very happy to see the bulging sack and stepped forward. " Haha, you two have worked hard, good brothers, good brothers! At the same time, there is a feeling of "Oh, it feels good, the best". At this time, two gangsters put cauliflower on the ground (three people surrounded the sack). "Easy, easy, don't hurt my beauty." The boss touched the sack with passion, and the cauliflower inside was laughing and talking (coquetry). "Sister hurts, I am willing, hehe." The three bandits froze and talked to each other. Two little bandits are busy telling on each other, "eldest brother, sister will!" Sister will! " The boss said angrily, "A sorority? Which one do you think was kidnapped and smiled more happily? " "If you are a crazy woman, I'll put you two in a room with her and let you have a good time!" Just as they were arguing, cauliflower lifted the sack and stood up, loudly saying, "Who told me I was an epileptic woman! My mother fought with him! " The three bandits were immediately frightened by her appearance, sat on the ground, shook their heads and sighed, "It's ugly to count eggs!" " "Is there such a gentle woman in the world?" Cauliflower speaks proudly in the middle. "Why? Never seen a beautiful woman! Come on, take me, and I'll see who has the ability. " At this time, the bandit leader was the first to wake up and said to the two little bandits in tears, "You don't want to ruin my reputation!" Let people know that I have found an uglier gourmet. Will I use it on the street in the future? ! God ... I'd rather die than touch this woman! " (Kneeling on the ground and crying sadly) Two little bandits came to comfort him. "Boss, don't cry, crying dead horse. Your sister was afraid of death before being cut with a knife, and now the tender child is like this? " Boss, "I'd rather be hacked to death with a knife than die with her epileptic daughter!" " You two get it. Get it out of here! Did you hear that? "(saying, standing up and pointing to two little bandits) At this time, cauliflower sat in a chair, shaking her legs and proudly said," Hum, it's easier to tell me to go. I won't leave when I come. Haha, there is finally a man today! You can always go first. " The three bandits were stunned again, and the funeral music sounded. Three bandits knelt down sadly and helplessly in front of cauliflower. The boss spoke (sadly). "You go, fairy, please, we will give you whatever you want, and we will always give you how much money you want. "Three people take out all the money in their wallets and put them on the ground. Cauliflower spoke (very proud and excited) "My sister. (Chasing three people while talking) The boss pointed to cauliflower and said, "Stop, stop, wait until you hear me out" (gasping) "Are you going with your sister? ! "cauliflower" sister goes, sister goes "boss" what do you want? " "If I want to marry, I will marry one of you three!" The boss said helplessly, pushed her away and said, "Well, wait, the three of us will discuss it first." (Say that finish, he took two small bludger aside to discuss. He sighed and said, "I can't believe that I have been a bandit all my life and almost got this epileptic woman today!" Seeing her like this, she won't leave. What do you say? " A said, "boss, we listen to you. We will do anything as long as we are not asked to accompany her!" " The boss said, "There is only one way now." "What way?" (Two little ones ask) The boss "We'll go if she doesn't go! ! ! ""ah? We don't even want a home? " "What else can we do? You want to go home, you can sleep with her. " (Two gangsters have dodged) At this time, cauliflower proudly walked up to them and asked them, "What do you think? Who will marry me? " At this time, three bandits stood up in awe and said, "Well, we would rather die than humiliate you. If you don't go, we will go! " (Say that finish, turn around and walk to the background together) Cauliflower froze for a while, watched the three of them walk off the stage and cried, "Oh, my God! The cooked duck flew again! ! ! "Say that finish sitting on the ground. (End

The story of mobile phone

Date of upload: 2004- 12- 14 Upload: popularity: 126063.

People: Cheng Ming (creative cadre of cultural center), Wen Jing (wife of Cheng Ming, plainclothes policeman), Dina (high school student), two dog (a lame old man who looks after toilets).

Scene: A bench in the corner of Aofeng Park.

(About the name of curtain call and process)

Cheng Ming: (shaking his mobile phone) Have you seen the movie Mobile Phone directed by Xiaogang Feng? Nowadays, there are more and more functions of mobile phones, and the stories about mobile phones are also varied. It is said that now people can chat and fall in love online through their mobile phones ... (The phone rings) You see, just then, my mobile phone called. Look who called. Oh, it's another text message. Oh, who sent me this message? (Reading): Affectionate is stupid, heartless is the coolest, infatuation is stupid, and unfeeling is secular; It's a bit silly to love only one, but love two at least, three five are just right, and ten eight are handsome. Hey, what's this called? Oh, and: it is reasonable for men to look at women, and it is natural for women to look at men. Men don't look at women, they love to write backwards, and women don't look at men. The world is over. (Reading, sitting on the bench and jumping up again) Oh, what's wrong with this ass? (Looking down, I found a mobile phone on the stool, holding it in my hand) Hey, which daredevil left his mobile phone here, or it was a blue screen. I think it was just lost. Let me sit here and wait for my master. I put my mobile phone in my bag and sat down again with it. Suddenly, the phone rang.) Hello, hahaha ... Hello, shall we meet in Aofeng Park? Ok, ok, I'm here now, ok, I'll wait for you, be there or be square. (Put away the phone and pat him on the head) Am I kidding? This mobile phone is not mine. How can I meet people?

(Dana has a mobile phone in her hand)

Dana: queuing for registration, dizziness; The doctor diagnosed that the goddess scattered flowers; The cost of medicine is a waste, because it can't be cured for a long time. (Pauses for a moment and looks around) What's the matter? This girl has finished reading the combination code. Why didn't she respond?

Cheng Ming: (Narrator) Ah, is this girl a spy?

Dana: (anxiously) Doctor, where is the doctor?

Cheng Ming: (Answer) The doctor is in the hospital in the city. Is there one in this park?

Dana: (finding Cheng Ming) What, how did you know the doctor was in the hospital?

Cheng Ming: Hehe, look at what this guy said. The doctor is not in the hospital, so he still works in the accounting office.

Dana: Yes, yes, the doctor told me that he worked in the accounting office, and he also said that he was the director. Do you know a doctor?

Cheng Ming: (stands up) What are you talking about, the doctor or the director of the accounting office? Is it because I'm stupid or something? I don't understand at all.

Dana: Where are you from? You don't understand. What are you doing? (turning to himself) Doctor, where is the doctor? I just got off the phone with him and said to wait for me here. How did he get out of the hat and the mouse couldn't find its nest in such a short time?

Cheng Ming: (standing up like a dream) Ah, is that the girl I talked to on the phone just now?

Dana: Yes, yes, yes. Are you a doctor?

Cheng Ming: Yes, I'm a doctor. Oh, no ... no, doctor is my code name. Hey, I was wrong.-Girl, I mean, I'm not the doctor. ...

Dana: (surprise) Hehe, don't tease me. You must be a doctor. Doctor, I'm sick!

Cheng Ming: Sick? Girl, you need to see a doctor when you are sick.

Dana: Yeah, didn't I call you? (Jumping up with open arms, hugging Cheng Ming's neck and pushing him down on the stool at once) Ah, dear doctor, I finally meet you. You look cool. You are so cool and handsome! Do you know how many days and nights, I have been looking forward to the stars and the moon, only looking forward to the sun coming out of the mountains, and finally looking forward to you.

Cheng Ming: You, you, give me a break, I'm going to cry for help!

Dana: You shout. Yell when you feel happy. This can only prove your love for me. You have to ask me how much I love you. The moon represents my heart.

Cheng Ming: (pushing Dana) You ...

Dana (hugging more tightly) Ah, doctor, you know, you have become a habit in my life, an indispensable habit. You are my nose, my eyes, my long hair and itching; Every day and night, I can't sleep, eat, sneeze or dream, but I can't help thinking about you.

Cheng Ming: (pushing Dana away) Girl, what are you talking about? If you say the cat can't reach the beam, I think you must be very ill. Come on, let me take you to the hospital. I really can't leave. Let me carry you. (Bends down and picks up Dana)

Dana: (pushes Cheng Ming down angrily and stands up) Doctor, what do you say, will you take me to the hospital? What is Ann's heart?

Cheng Ming: Hey, didn't you say you were ill? What are you doing here without going to the hospital?

Dana: You are sick. Aren't doctors and patients our online names? My real name is Dana. Hey, what are you pretending to be confused about? A few days ago, you told me on your mobile phone that doctors and patients are born together, which is unprecedented. Little widows shed tears-unprecedented, monks lose their heads-and cover their heads. ...

Cheng Ming: Oh, I see. You came to see a net friend today. Your screen name is sick, my screen name is doctor ... oh, no, no, no, it's your netizen's screen name is doctor, right? But you misunderstood Dana. I'm really not your net friend. I found the cell phone that I talked to you just now, which means your doctor hasn't been here.

Dana: You lied to me. You are a doctor!

Cheng Ming: I have a good brain and no water. Why would I lie to you, Dana?

Dana: Are you telling the truth?

Cheng Ming: I told you, I am not a doctor. My name is Cheng Ming. I work in a cultural center. I don't know any doctors, let alone you! I have a family. I found that cell phone. My own mobile phone is here. Look at that. (takes out his mobile phone from his pocket and shows it to her)

Dana: What am I looking at? Hee hee, now men have two mobile phones in their pockets. For convenience, one is for the wife at home and the other is for the sweetheart to talk to. Am I right?

Cheng Ming: Alas, you didn't understand what I said. I am really not a doctor.

Dana: (suddenly crying sadly) I know, I ... must have let you down. Do you think I'm not beautiful?

Cheng Ming: (anxiously) I ... I don't think you are not beautiful. You are so beautiful. You are really beautiful.

Dana: You are an old beauty. If you don't like me, just say so. Don't beat around the bush like this! Tell you, I love you anyway, my head can be broken and my blood can flow. I don't regret falling in love with you at all. You know, I broke my dream of going to college for you. My parents heard that I was online dating and locked me in my room like a thief. I grabbed Kouga, twisted the rope, and escaped from the window in the middle of the night. I came all the way to see you, and I worked hard to find you, but why are you so rude and hurt my innocent heart?

Cheng Ming: But I have a wife. I am older than you.

Dana: You have a wife. Why? Having a wife can't stop my love for Qianshan. The older, the more mature, the more attractive.

Cheng Ming: But I ... Why should I tell her this? I am not a doctor! (to Dana) Well, I won't talk to you any more. I'll give you your doctor's mobile phone, and you can give it back to him when he finds it. Between pushing and pulling with Dana, I gave her my mobile phone by mistake and turned away.

Dana: (Cheng Ming's cell phone rings and answers) Hello, I'm Dana. Are you Wen Jing, Cheng Ming's wife? Hehe, who am I? Tell you, I am the favorite in Cheng Ming's heart. ...

Cheng Ming: (only then did I find that I gave it to the wrong mobile phone and ran back in a panic) Hey, I gave it to the wrong mobile phone, so ... that's mine. Why do you talk like that? You, you, you hurt me, you? (makes a sudden snatch and grabs the phone to explain to Wenjing) Hey, Wenjing, you misunderstood. I'm ... Hey, I'm in Aofeng Park now. Here's the thing. Listen to me. I'm ... (narrator) My wife is a famous jealous lady. That's enough for me right away. (Stamping one's feet in a hurry)

(Wen Jing appears on her mobile phone)

Wenjing: Cheng Ming, let me ask you, who are you with now?

Cheng Ming: (pretending) I am alone. Didn't I tell you this morning that this year's Cao Yu Cup National Sketch Competition was held in Xuancheng, and I received a task to create sketches. The park is quiet. I'm thinking of a sketch about a cell phone story.

Dana: (finding Wen Jing coming, deliberately holding his arm while Cheng Ming was not looking) Hehe, are you still a writer?

Wen Jing: (finding Cheng Ming and Wen Jing, coming up behind him angrily) Aren't you with someone else? Who was that woman who spoke just now?

Cheng Ming: Honey, who can I be with? Let me explain. ...

Wenjing: You don't have to explain to me. Let me ask you, do you have another woman?

Cheng Ming: Wife, I really didn't. You are the only one in the world. If I am half-hearted about you, hit me!

Wenjing: (standing behind Cheng Ming, turning off his cell phone and learning to explode thunder) Click-

Cheng Ming: God, does it really thunder on a sunny day? (Looking up at the sky, I slowly turned around and found Wenjing) Ah, it's you, wife, (I found Dinah holding her arm in panic) Are you ... Are you really sick? Why are you holding my arm? you ...

Wenjing: (angrily) Good name. You are lying with your eyes open. How do you explain it now? Raise your hand to call Cheng Ming, but Dana stops you.

Dana: Please don't hit the person I love casually!

Wenjing: Well, Cheng Ming, you are a perfect match. You still have someone to protect you!

Dana: Thank you, you are right!

Cheng Ming: Dana, what are you meddling in? (Turning to Wenjing) Wenjing, the thing is, this Dana girl is dating a net friend, and I happened to find her net friend's cell phone, so I became a doctor. She came to see me when she was ill. Is it normal for doctors to treat patients? Oh, no, it's not normal for doctors to treat patients ... no, no, I mean ... Hey, this thing ... (hurried narrator) What kind of doctor am I? Why is the more anxious, the less clear?

Wenjing: Hum, you don't have to say anything. I see. I didn't expect you to ride the wind and waves and follow the fashion. You got married by mobile phone all the way, and you made online love by mobile phone.

Cheng Ming: Wenjing, you ...

(two dog limps over with a're'. The sign says "looking for a mobile phone")

Two dog: Hey, guys, who found my cell phone? I lost my cell phone. Did you find a teacher who learned from Lei Feng? Have pity on me, old man. If you find it, you should give it to the police uncle-no, you should give it to me. ...

Cheng Ming: (voice greeting) Did you lose your mobile phone?

Two dog: Yes, yes, Master, have you seen my lost mobile phone?

Cheng Ming: I did find a mobile phone. What color and brand is your mobile phone?

Two dog: Hehe, my mobile phone is silver and the brand is Amoi.

Cheng Ming: (takes out his mobile phone) Is this it? Here you are (return the phone to him)

Two dog: OK, OK, thank you. Speaking of that mobile phone, it's hard to come by. The little old man is the director of the toilet. That day, a rich man came to the convenience, but he had no money on him. I think he was blushed by a bubble of urine and his neck was thick. The blue veins on his forehead can be rubbed as a rope, so he won't be allowed in. Later, he was in a hurry, plopped on my head and gave me this mobile phone. Only then did I open the door to let him in. Haha, I didn't expect the toilet watcher to take care of it, bro. Do you know what couplets are posted on both sides of my toilet? Let me read it to you. The first part is: set foot on both sides of the Yellow River and hold confidential documents; The bottom line is: machine gun fire in front, artillery fire in the back. Cross-dressing: That's cool. Ha ha laugh ...

Cheng Ming: You are a hungry dog, and you fell into the toilet-cool enough, but I am the Tang Priest who strayed into the pansi hole-you almost killed me.

Two dog: What's wrong with you? When did I kill you?

Cheng Ming: Do you have a screen name called Doctor?

Two dog: Yes, but I can only look at toilets, and I can't treat people. Hey, how did you guess?

(Cheng Minggang wanted to say something, but Dana grabbed it. )

Dana: What, are you a doctor?

Two dog: (seeing Dana's eyes shining) Yes, yes, beautiful lady, what do you think?

Dana: (angrily) I'm just sick. I can't believe that a doctor is someone like you. You lied to me!

Two dogs: Ah ... Are you ... Are you sick?

Dana: I hate you, hate you, hate you, hate you, hate you to death. Find a painter to draw for you, draw you a football and kick you to death. (Kicking two dogs with their feet, kicking an empty space, turning and pouncing on Cheng Ming, crying) Uncle, you make decisions for me!

Cheng Ming: (sighs) My doctor has finally become an uncle!

Wenjing: (finally wakes up and pushes Dana away) I'll be your school sister. (Turning to two dog) Do you have a nickname "shameless"?

Two dog: (afraid) I'm shameless, you ... you. ...

Wenjing: (takes out his certificate, sternly) I am a plainclothes policeman. We have long been reported that a man nicknamed shameless used his mobile phone to surf the Internet, tricking some girls, cheating money and cheating women. I didn't expect you to meet me here. Come with me to the police station!

Two dog: God, I ... ...

Wenjing: Come with me! (Facing Cheng Ming, I'm sorry) I'm sorry, dear, I really misunderstood you.

Cheng Ming: Honey, it doesn't matter. It is common for me to quarrel with my wife. Beating each other is love, scratching your nose and tearing your face. Pillow to pillow at night.

Wenjing: (embarrassedly) That depends on where you said. (To two dog) Go!

(Wen Jing bets on two dog)

Dana: (crying) God, how is that possible? (body shakes a few times)

Cheng Ming: (holding Dinah) What's wrong with you, girl?

Dana: My heart hurts, I feel dizzy, my chest is stuffy and blocked ... I seem to be really sick!

Cheng Ming: Son, I think you are sick. I can tell at a glance.

Dana: Really?

Cheng Ming: Really. It doesn't matter if you are sick. Go to the hospital and have a good look. Come on, let me take you to the hospital. I really can't leave. Let me carry you. (Behind Dana, she turns around and learns Yan Shouyi's accent in the movie Cell Phone in front of the audience. Alas, this mobile phone is a modern communication tool, but I didn't expect it to evolve into so many stories. How can a good thing often turn into a bad thing in the blink of an eye? By the way, my sketch is also conceived. Let's call it "the story of mobile phone"!