Why do women have low self-worth? Because you don't know yourself yet.

Yang Lan wrote a book, Big Girls, which is well worth reading. As a best friend, she stood beside women and told us how women should know themselves and be themselves in daily life.

The book is divided into three parts, who am I, who am I, and who am I going with. Why do women always have a sense of low value, because you don't know yourself yet. Who am I to help women know themselves better and see their existence.

0 1? Have your own space alone.

British writer Woolf said: "If a woman wants to write a novel, she must have money and her own room." Not that everyone should be a writer. The author emphasizes that in such a space, you can take your time, you don't need to glow, and no one will be disturbed, only yourself.

When Yang Lan 12 years old, she had a room of her own. At that time, the university admission rate was only 10%, and many troops crossed the wooden bridge. Yang Lan works very hard and works hard at papers every day.

Under such circumstances, Yang Lan will still find time to read her favorite novels, such as Jane Eyre, A Dream of Red Mansions and The Old Man and the Sea. She likes Sunday noon best. Her parents are taking a nap. She is in her room, keeping a diary and making posters for the class.

She recalled that it was an undisturbed time, with only herself in the space and no need to prove herself. It is this space that helps her to build her own spiritual world. Make her realize that I am who I am and that I am unique.

With such self-awareness, you will have a moderate sense of accomplishment and value, and you will not spend your life in a daze.

Now my child 12 years old. The first thing she does when she comes home from school is to go to her room and close the door. I used to worry about whether she closed the door and wanted to play games alone or do something she didn't want her parents to know.

After reading "Big Girl", I suddenly felt awe of parenting. A child needs a space to be alone, which is part of her self-awareness and self-development.

Woolf, an English writer, said in "My Room": "It is more important for a person to be himself than anything else. In this room of her own, she doesn't need to resent anyone, because no one can hurt her; She doesn't need to please anyone because others can't give her anything. "

02? Listen to your body.

We know the world from birth, starting with our own bodies. For children, the earliest toys are their own bodies, their own hands and feet.

We often talk about "touching" babies and children and hugging children more. In fact, it is a kind of stimulation to children's bodies, and it is to help children know their bodies and fall in love with them. This feeling will accompany you all your life.

Hollywood superstar cameron diaz wrote a book "Your body is the beginning of all beauty". She said in the book: "Everything I have is inseparable from my understanding of my body, accepting myself now and learning to appreciate my body. The body you have can lead you into a better life. You must learn to live well in your unique body. "

Therefore, we should accept and manage our bodies, not just have beautiful bodies. Don't let men judge whether we are slim or not. Nutrition, fitness and emotional management are not to satisfy others' evaluation of us, but to meet the needs of living a good life.

Women have more development experiences than men in their life. Adolescent children are often ashamed to talk about their monthly affairs. It is necessary for girls to know the scientific knowledge of the body, which is nothing to be ashamed of. This is the humanities.

Accepting your body is the first step to accepting yourself. We must be responsible for our health first, so that we can have a rich life. Diet, exercise and sleep are the three magic weapons to keep healthy and energetic.

Aging is an inevitable natural process. At the age of 50, Yang Lan found that her eyes began to change. For the first time, he went to an optical shop and got a pair of reading glasses. This day will always come, followed by changes in menopausal hormones.

One day, when we turn on the mobile video, turn off the beauty and retouching, we may find that there is nowhere to hide the wrinkles around our eyes. You can laugh it off and apply a mask at night. For the body, while silently caring, while accepting it frankly.

Yongmei, the best actress of the Golden Rooster Award in Chinese film, once said to a photographer, "Will you stop smoothing all my wrinkles? It is difficult for me to grow them. "

03? Controlling now is controlling life.

Why do women like to buy at buy buy? There is a ridiculous saying: "You are only one step away from the life you want."

On the one hand, the pursuit of novelty is that clothes are not as good as new ones, but the most important thing is psychological satisfaction. A sense of control and satisfaction that you can have if you want it. From this perspective, a person who controls life will not become a "shopaholic".

Clothes and bags are all things outside the body, and the freshness can only last for a few days. It is better to increase investment in yourself, such as experiential consumption, travel and going to museums. These experiences will become a part of our bodies. Or learning and opening new skills, these investments can improve your horizons, broaden your thinking and bring more control to your life.

For time, the only thing we can control is the present time. Someone asked Yang Lan, "What price are you willing to pay to return to 18?" . Yang Lan asked, "Why should I go back to 18 years old? I have tasted 18 years old. " She thinks that the best time at the moment, now oneself is the best oneself.

This is living in the present. We often practice hard, thinking that as long as we "buy a house" and "wait for my promotion and salary increase" and "the children will grow up", but in fact, according to this idea, we have no time to "be good".

There is a movie called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which tells the story of a person's reverse growth. Going back in time has produced many adventures, but it is another form of cruelty and love after all. What he wants to tell us is that no matter which direction time flows, all we have is the present.

The best time is now. Although life is very busy, there are always problems that cannot be solved. But don't forget to make yourself a cup of tea, look at the distant scenery, be alone with yourself for a while, and live every day with a happy mind.

Write it at the end

Read the first chapter of this book and write down these ideas. Look in the mirror, pat yourself on the back, give yourself some space, pay attention to your body and live in every moment. The present is beautiful and the world is worth it.

Reading is reading yourself.

I am Mu Nian, reading with you.