Should we stick to our dreams or face reality?

In an ideal world, if you are engaged in a career that happens to be something you like and are good at, you are simply lucky that God has given you! In most cases, we love something but are unable to engage in work related to it.

There is a popular view in recent years: if you like something and have a dream, you should quit your job every minute to pursue it, practice it, and own it - if you dream of opening a small cafe, just You should open one every minute; if you dream of being a writer, quit your job! Then immediately register a pen name online and code words from dawn to dusk, preparing to become a great master; if you dream of being a photographer, quit your job! Then travel around and use your parents’ money to open a photography studio; if you dream of being a baking expert, quit your job! Immediately move an oven in the rental house and start making exquisite cupcakes.

Such rash pursuit of dreams will often end up in the street.

The most painful loss is not that you have wasted time and money, but that your hastily invested dreams have been shattered by reality. You will find that dreams are neither romantic nor interesting, and are more anxiety-provoking than work and study. In the end, even the dream itself was lost.

Therefore, the pursuit of dreams and hobbies should not be like lighting a fire and setting off sky lanterns, rising at full speed, no matter how high you can go, but should be like flying a kite in May, step by step, starting from the cost you can afford , little by little, it swayed upwards with the help of wind, and finally gradually entered among the blue clouds.

I have a cousin who comes from a family of architects, but he himself studied business.

From the moment he was admitted to college, he told everyone he met that his dream was to work as an architect in New York, until he entered an investment banking job.

Recently, this dream finally came to an end with his marriage, and his new dream is to gain financial freedom as soon as possible and then travel around the world with his wife.

The cousin said that he finally understood that "going to New York to be an architect" was not his dream, but a label he put on himself to distinguish himself from others in the financial circle.

When the dream of an architect can make him look cool, outstanding, and even have a certain artistic temperament in the circle of pursuing fame and fortune, he has been self-absorbed for many years, so it is not marriage that makes him His old dream was shattered, but his maturity allowed him to face reality:

First, if he really wanted to study architecture, he should have used his free time to learn more about architecture or read books in this field.

Secondly, for so many years, his understanding of architectural design has always been "just talk". He actually has no idea what conditions are required and what price to pay.

Third, he can only accept being a "successful" architect, but cannot accept being a "failed" architect.

Based on the above analysis, he understood that being an architect was not his dream, but his fantasy.

No matter which way you pursue your dreams, you must first distinguish the difference between dreams and hobbies, and more importantly, whether it is a real dream, or a fantasy you made up to avoid hard work, or It’s a gold-plated label that makes you look better.

Each of us will have different understandings of ourselves and life at different stages of life.

At different stages, you will have different visions, goals and ideals, and reality will prompt us to prioritize these visions and ideals based on actual conditions.

But if it is a real dream, you will find that no matter how you arrange it, you will always touch it intentionally or unintentionally, and move forward and work hard towards it.

A true dream will pop up from the cracks of reality by itself, greeting you with mini buds and waving to you, even if it is far from the full version.

I once thought that my dream was to "be a fashion editor", because since middle school, I have liked to cut out colorful newspapers and magazines and make them into clippings.

I also like to look at photos of beautiful clothes and matching outfits online, and I also like to learn about brands.

When I was about to graduate from college, I got an admission notice from a British university. During the few months before going abroad, I got an opportunity to intern at a French fashion magazine.

When I went there, the conditions in the editorial department were not very good. There was not even a spare seat for the new interns in the office, so my career as a fashion editor started by sitting on a sack. My job is to sort through the flakes of letters from readers and questionnaires with prizes in the sacks.

A month later, I began to stand out because I could figure out the thoughts of brand owners and write good-looking soft articles.

The editor-in-chief promoted me, and I started to have my own seat and desk. I started working for the clothing editors, assisting them in shooting cover movies, learning professional matching knowledge, and starting to plan some small topic selections. …When I finally got an offer as an assistant fashion editor a few months later, I immediately turned it down and fled the industry.

Although I only stayed in an unknown fashion magazine for a few months, it showed me the face, characters, efforts and gains of this industry better than anyone else’s earnest words. : This industry not only involves beautiful clothes, high-end parties, beautiful looks, and the selection and matching of a large number of gorgeous clothes, but also requires you to drag photographers like a dog to attract people in front of high street stores on windy days to take street photos. Like migrant workers, they carry large bags to borrow goods from well-connected brands. They nervously negotiate with the editor to select topics and hand over blockbuster samples. They also need to discover, win over, and inspire good authors, sign contracts with them, calculate tax points, and press fees. , if you fly to a certain fashion week, you will have to fight without sleep and with acne on your face.

Although this internship experience was short-lived, it gave me a lot of gains. It made me understand that fashion editing is just a hobby for me at best, and it cannot become a job that I love from the bottom of my heart. , let alone rise to the height of dreams.

So, when you have the seed of a dream in your heart, you can try to take care of it part-time for a while, and let time and setbacks tell you whether it is really your dream.

While others are scrolling through Weibo, WeChat, laughing and watching videos, gritting one’s teeth and persisting in one’s humble little business is a test in itself for anyone who claims to have a dream. For those who can't persevere, it's best not to pursue your dreams full-time, because that's not your dream at all, but a means of escaping reality, and it doesn't matter whether it's full-time or part-time.

In real life, only a small number of people can put down everything immediately and devote themselves to their dreams. More people need to create conditions under the constraints of reality, and in limited time and Dreams come true in space.

Those who do small things in a limited space, if they really grit their teeth and persevere, they will really be one step closer to their dreams and have enough reason to stop and plan carefully: now is Should I continue working part-time or full-time? How much does it cost to work full-time, and what corresponding opportunity costs will you pay?

Set a time plan for yourself, how to take each step, what goals are expected to be achieved in one month, six months and one year, and what to do if not achieved.

If someone can still love this career unswervingly after experiencing all the efforts, setbacks, hesitations, hesitations and anxiety, then that is truly called embracing the dream.

Because a real dream will not be like a strong wind blowing here and there; a real dream will be like the earth, no matter how you walk or in which direction you go, you are in it.