Enjoy loneliness, so as to enjoy life.

Written in front: When we think of the word "loneliness", most people's first feeling is fear and resistance. We don't want to be lonely and feel abandoned by the world. In fact, loneliness is not a negative state of life. On the contrary, only when you are lonely can you really know how to treat yourself. People who know how to enjoy loneliness know how to stay away from the noisy world and enjoy life itself, so as to enjoy life.

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We are always used to associating loneliness with emptiness and loneliness, but they are not the same thing. When we feel empty and lonely, it comes from the poverty of our spiritual world, which is more manifested as depression and lovelorn, without clear life goals and sustenance. Loneliness itself, there is no good or bad. When our spiritual world is rich, loneliness can be a realm, a state in which nature and id are integrated. Lonely people are free and unrestrained. He doesn't have to immerse himself in how to show himself perfectly to the outside world every day. What he did was calm and profound thinking and introspection.

I used to be so afraid of loneliness that I always thought I was abandoned by the group when I was lonely. Psychologically speaking, people gradually form a gregarious lifestyle in the process of evolution. Social animals always tend to act in groups and have a strong dependence on groups in emotion and action, so once they leave the group, they will feel lonely and lonely when they are alone. When we arrive at a new environment, we are always eager to integrate into it. One of them is to join a group and make a few friends, so as to have a circle of friends of your own and gain a sense of belonging in your heart.

When I first came to Holland four years ago, I was faced with a completely strange environment. It was really the first time in my 18 years of life that I felt so lonely. It was a feeling of helplessness. At that time, my major was 30 people, except for most Dutch and Germans, the rest were three people from China, called International Hotel Management, which was not international at all. Before I went abroad, I thought that I wouldn't get together with China people abroad, but I would make more foreign friends and integrate into their lives. When it really comes to that, it will not be easy to implement it. After the first class, 30 people were divided into three groups. The Dutch all sit in one pile, the Germans sit in another pile, and the rest are the three China people sitting in the last row. In the end, they can only hug their group, and I want to hug my group.

China people living overseas seem to have a stronger desire for groups. At that time, they were afraid that there would always be a sense of loneliness when they walked alone in the empty streets of Holland. This is why people who study abroad are always in groups of three or five, or find a boyfriend and girlfriend to live together, so that they will not be so lonely.

My loneliest time began in my freshman year. At that time, two other students from China dropped out of school and transferred to other schools, leaving me alone in China. At that time, my city was a small city in the Netherlands. We were the only major in that city, and the school's headquarters was in another city. In the following year, I hardly saw anyone from China in that city except me, except the couple in a small restaurant in China and the uncle in the barber shop.

At that time, I was afraid of loneliness, but I had to face loneliness, so my mood was always depressed. I occasionally attend parties organized by one or two professional organizations. Usually German students and Dutch students are joking in their own languages, and I am playing with my mobile phone. In those two years, the mobile phone was my best tool to avoid embarrassment.

When we are afraid of loneliness, loneliness will only bring us negative effects, including loneliness and depression. In fact, loneliness itself is only a person's state, and its positive or negative influence only depends on how we look at loneliness.

The following year, I moved to another city, and people around China began to increase. With one or two friends, I feel less lonely, but I still don't like being alone. I can feel my inner desire for my partner. I am still afraid of loneliness, because it makes me depressed.

My mind has really changed in the past six months, and I gradually realize that being alone is the most free and easy time in my life. I can do what I want according to my own ideas, regardless of the feelings and emotions of people around me. The most important thing is that I can usually calm down and think when I am alone.

I have read an article written by Zhou, "Is it vulgar or lonely", and I agree with some of these views. People who often live in social life must learn to be tolerant and patient, hoping that their performance in the group will not make others feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. Therefore, the bigger the scene, the more boring the social life. Because we want to please and consider others more, we need to put ourselves in the second place. Only by being alone can we please ourselves to the greatest extent and meet our own needs. There is a sentence in the article, "If a person doesn't like being alone, then he doesn't love himself, because only when he is alone can a person be free and unconstrained." It took me a long time to realize this sentence. When I really realized that I was not afraid of being alone, I began to be glad that my present life could give me so much time to be alone.

Loneliness may be silent, but at the spiritual level, lonely people are full. It was not until I was 22 years old that I understood the importance of being alone, how to get along with myself and how to listen to my voice. People who have been active in social activities for a long time rarely have time to calm down and think. At work, we serve others. In social activities, we are taken away by people different from ourselves. When can we be ourselves again? Only when we are alone.

If our social interaction in the outside world is absorbing, then being alone is digesting, and we need such time to communicate with ourselves. Thinking is the best way to communicate with yourself. "I will save myself three times a day" is a way of thinking. We should never forget that life is short, and what we need to please and please most is not anyone, but ourselves. If social phobia is a psychological obstacle to lack of socialization, then lack of solitude is also a psychological obstacle. Psychology believes that a person's fear of loneliness comes from the poverty of the spiritual world. In life, we will find that some people can't be alone at all. Once they leave the group, they begin to feel uneasy, and then look for various pastimes to relieve their anxiety. On the surface, they seem to have an active social personality, but in fact, their frequent social activities and pastimes are their empty inner world. Because they are afraid to face themselves, they are escaping loneliness, and even they can't stand the poverty in their inner world.

A person who can enjoy solitude must be a person with rich spiritual world or a strong sense of self-satisfaction. They are interesting enough by themselves, and they can find interesting things without social entertainment. For those who like to be alone, loneliness is not terrible, but precious. Only when you are lonely can you exert your greatest creativity and have the most peaceful heart. In the long river of history, no outstanding great man has achieved anything in loneliness. What they left behind in the miniature of the times was a lonely back, which was rich.

A few years ago, I saw an award-winning work of an international photography exhibition. This photo shows a man walking alone in the desert at night. When I first saw this photo, my first feeling was that he was really pitiful. Suddenly thinking of this photo at the moment, I can't help but sigh that he must be a person with a complete soul. I believe he is not depressed. He has his perfect inner world, cool breeze, bright moon and vast desert as his companion. His loneliness is a state of harmony and unity between nature and inner world. In today's impetuous and noisy society, I'm afraid there are very few people who can do this.

I found that there is a unique explanation for "loneliness" on the Internet. "Loneliness" is the king, "uniqueness" is the only one, and the word loneliness together is the only king. I suddenly like this explanation. Indeed, lonely people don't need pity. Only those who can enjoy loneliness have the strongest heart.

The retrograde in the trend of the times and the lonely in the hustle and bustle of the city are all lonely, but this loneliness is profound and rich. They chose another lonely road instead of drifting with the tide, which is the result of their deep thinking. They have been seeking the perfection of their own world all their lives. I admire those who choose to retire. In this era, there are fewer and fewer such people.

I used to wonder why we are so afraid of loneliness and always want to get along with others. After thinking about it, the idea is that because we lack the inner self, we see our own imperfections and hope to get what we lack from others, whether it is choosing friends or partners, just as a bad-tempered person wants to find a good-tempered person and an uneducated person wants to find a literate person. Because we can't stand our own shortcomings, we need to reach a perfect state in our interaction with others. It is more difficult for us to endure boredom and poverty ourselves than to endure and tolerate others.

This seems to explain why some outstanding people in "Talented Persons and Beautiful Women" in history are lonely all their lives. They can't be interesting in the process of interacting with others, so they just stay alone. From this, I thought of a passage that Sheldon said to wish a friend a wedding in The Big Bang Theory, which was very impressive.

Now that I think about it, Sheldon written by the screenwriter belongs to the kind of person who enjoys loneliness very much. His inner world is enough to make him interesting and happy, and communication with people may bring him more trouble, so he enjoys being alone.

At present, I can only say that I am getting used to loneliness, and I am not depressed and sad because of loneliness, but there is still a long way to go before I really enjoy loneliness, because I know my spiritual world is not perfect.

"Lonely or vulgar" sounds harsh, but when you think about it, it is. No matter in which era, lonely kings are very few. They choose loneliness because they feel that they are deeply out of touch with the public spirit and do not conform to the mainstream of society. For ordinary people, our inner self is not full enough to feel happy and complete without interacting with others.

But this does not mean that we should abandon loneliness. After all, we spend the longest time with ourselves in our life, so learning how to be alone is the ability that everyone needs to master. We need to be ourselves when we are lonely and have a good talk with ourselves. Loneliness is not terrible, and a person can live a wonderful life.

May we all learn to enjoy our comfort and freedom in the noisy world.

Only by enjoying loneliness can you enjoy life.

It says at the back: "Read thousands of books, Walk Wan Li Road", and your body and soul should be on the road. I don't want to be self-sufficient in my mind to the point where I don't need others to accompany me. I just hope that my spiritual world can make me have fun when I am alone.

* * * Encourage

Snail crawler