Why does Xu Zhimo's powerful brother-in-law like him so much when he abandons his wife and children?

19 13, 16-year-old Xu zhimo goes to school in the middle school attached to Hangzhou. At that time, 24-year-old Zhang Jiaao (decorated by Zi Gong Quan), then the secretary of Zhejiang Governor Zhu Rui, visited the school and praised Xu Zhimo's composition and calligraphy. Zhang Gongquan learned that he was the only son of Xu Shenru, president of Shi Xia Chamber of Commerce, and wrote to Xu Fu, proposing that Xu Zhimo marry his second sister. That night, Xu Fu wrote back: "I am Xu Shenru, and I have the honor to marry Zhang Jiaao's sister." This year, Zhang Youyi 13 years old, studied in Suzhou No.2 Women's Normal School. Two years later, she dropped out of school and married Xu Zhimo.

The coldness of a Xu Zhimo.

Although in the impression of friends, Xu Zhimo, a modern poet, is "free and easy to talk and laugh, feasting and never snubbing anyone", Zhang Youyi also said that Xu Zhimo is "excellent in character and loved in any social occasions". But in the marriage with Zhang Youyi, Xu Zhimo is heartless!

It is said that Xu Zhimo is not satisfied with this marriage. The first time he saw Zhang Youyi's photo, he said "hillbilly" in disgust. Only because of his parents' orders did he get engaged, get married and have children. After completing the task of carrying on the family line, Xu Zhimo crossed the ocean to study abroad. 1920, Zhang Youyi went to Europe to reunite with her husband. Among the people who greeted their relatives in Marseille Port, he recognized Xu Zhimo at a glance, because "he was the only one in the crowd who didn't want to be there." On the plane from Paris to London, Zhang Youyi, who had never been on a plane, got airsick and threw up in a paper bag. Xu Zhimo said contemptuously, "You are really a hillbilly." However, not long after the words were finished, he also vomited.

After arriving in England, Xu Zhimo told Zhang Youyi to stay in his room, leave him alone, and then continue to do his own thing as if she were away. Zhang Youyi said: "Maybe he thinks that every time he leaves me alone, he can make me disappear without a trace by willpower ... What he wants to do most in this world is to get rid of me, but he is defeated by my body, and he is discouraged by the fact that we are going to be together."

When Zhang Youyi told Xu Zhimo that he was pregnant, Xu Zhimo immediately said, "Abort the child." Zhang Youyi said, "I heard that someone had an abortion and died." Xu Zhimo replied coldly: "There are people who died because of the train accident. Don't you see people don't take the train? " After that, don't look away impatiently "But where can I have an abortion?" Xu Zhimo shook his head and said, "You will find a place. This kind of thing is very common in the west. " A week later, Xu Zhimo suddenly disappeared, so Zhang Youyi had to write to his second brother studying in France and his seventh brother studying in Germany. With their help, Zhang Youyi first went to France, then went to Berlin, Germany, and gave birth to his second son Peter at 19 12. Just one month after giving birth, Xu Zhimo chased Zhang Youyi to Berlin to sign a divorce agreement. He said impatiently, "I have no time to wait." You must sign now, Lin is going back to China, and I must divorce now. "

After the divorce, Zhang Youyi studied in Germany for three years, and his youngest son Peter died at the age of three. Xu Zhimo once wrote a eulogy to mourn his son who had to have an abortion and only met once. Zhang Youyi said, "Well, the tone of his writing this article seems to be a person who cares about his family and has a sense of responsibility. Well, judging from his behavior, I don't think he is worried about whether we have enough money or how we are going to live. You know, this is the virtue of literati. "

Second brother-in-law's preference

Supposedly Xu Zhimo is so heartless to his ex-wife, his brother-in-law should hit him. What's more, the Zhang Youyi family has been a noble family for generations, rich and powerful, and its family power is stronger than the Xu family. Zhang Youyi's grandfather was a magistrate of a county in the Qing Dynasty, and his father was a rich man in Baoshan County. When they got married, Zhang Youyi's dowry "couldn't hold a train", and it was finally shipped by barge from Shanghai by Brother Liu.

Zhang Youyi's brother is also lucky. Zhang Junmai, the second brother, is a man of the hour in politics, the leader and founder of China's Democratic Socialist Party, and one of the main drafters of the Constitution of the Republic of China. He is known as the "father of the Constitution of the Republic of China" and has close ties with Liang Qichao and Zhang. He used to be the editor-in-chief of Current Affairs News, the secretary of the International Affairs Committee of Duan Cabinet, and the secretary-general of President Feng. Zhang Gongquan, the fourth brother, was a famous financier and industrialist in modern China, a well-known governor of the Bank of China in Shanghai, and a patriot who believed in "saving the country through industry". When Zhang Youyi first arrived in England, many people came to pay tribute to his second and fourth brothers.

However, in this marriage in Zhang Youyi, Xu Zhimo was so heartless, and his powerful brothers-in-law not only didn't beat him, but were partial to him, even proud of the marriage between Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo. Its attitude is incredible, and it doesn't seem to be your own sister! When he learned that Xu Zhimo was going to divorce pregnant Zhang Youyi and disappear, his second brother, Zhang Junmai, said that he would not have an abortion and would adopt a child himself, but the first sentence he wrote back to his sister turned out to be "the loss of Xu Zhimo in the Zhang family is like bereavement." As sad as losing parents. How much this Zhang Junmai loves Xu Zhimo!

Among the photos of Xu Zhimo, there is a photo with Zhang Junmai. Although the shooting time is unknown, Zhang Youyi thinks that the second brother doesn't think there is anything wrong with taking photos with Xu Zhimo after their divorce. Not only that, Zhang Junli also said that "women can only get married once, otherwise the customs in China are meaningless". He even advised his sister Zhang Youyi to "divorce and stay at home". She can't be Xu Zhimo's wife, but she can be Xu's daughter-in-law and take good care of Xu Zhimo's parents.

Zhang Youyi's eighth brother, yu zhang Jiu, is Xu Zhimo's brain powder. After Xu Zhimo and his sister divorced, they not only supported Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman to fall in love, but also dressed up for their wedding. He also said to his sister, "Sister, forgive me for dressing up for your ex-husband's wedding." After the air crash, Xu Zhimo made a special trip to the scene to deal with the aftermath. In his later years, he also said in his will that after his death, his family should not put sorrows and sorrows, just recite a few poems by Xu Zhimo. When her granddaughter Zhang Bangmei wrote a memoir to Zhang Youyi, she repeatedly told her to show mercy to Xu Zhimo and "be honest".

The Zhang brothers and Xu Zhimo were so close, but Xu Zhimo never attended his parents' funeral, and his brother-in-law didn't care. Zhang Youyi once said, "Xu Zhimo never attended any funeral of my parents. I don't expect him to appear for me, but I hope he can appear for my brother's face; However, my brother did not feel ashamed because Xu Zhimo was absent. "

Why didn't you get hit?

The Zhang brothers are brilliant in Chinese and Western culture, but why are they so partial to Xu Zhimo, instead of hitting him, they love him? This may be due to the following reasons:

First, cherish talents.

Some people say that "Xu Zhimo has his own talent filter, and it happens that her brothers and sisters are all people who cherish talents." Just because Xu Zhimo's composition and calligraphy were good, Zhang Youyi's fourth brother wrote to Xu's father and chose to marry Xu. Later, it was precisely because Xu Zhimo was personable and brilliant that he wrote many excellent poems, so the Zhang brothers loved him deeply, favored him, remembered his advantages and forgot his shortcomings. Even though Xu Zhimo divorced his sister, he ignored Xu's talent and maintained a friendly relationship with Xu Zhimo. They don't care that Xu Zhimo divorced Zhang Youyi, or even that Xu Zhimo didn't come to their father's funeral. Zhang Youyi said, "The second brother loves Xu Zhimo as much as his parents. He will certainly forgive Xu Zhimo for not attending the funeral. "

Second, despise women.

The Zhang family is a big family, but there are differences between men and women in talent training. In the cultivation of men, let them accept western learning, study abroad, polish one by one, learn Chinese and western knowledge, and be excellent talents. However, in the cultivation of women, their family still insisted on traditional feudal education. Zhang Youyi said, "In China, a woman's house is worthless ... When I got married, my mother only gave me two pieces of advice. First, once you enter the Xu family's door, you must never say' no', but only' yes'. Second, no matter what happens between my husband and me, I can treat my in-laws with the same attitude. " This kind of values decided that after the divorce, the Zhang brothers paid more attention to family interests than Zhang Youyi's personal feelings.

When Zhang Gongquan, the fourth brother, learned of her sister's divorce, she not only didn't blame Xu Zhimo, but asked her sister not to go out with men for five years. Zhang Youyi said: "The fourth brother wrote to tell me that in order to save the face of the Zhang family, I can't teach others to see me go out with a certain man in the next five years, otherwise others will think that Xu Zhimo divorced me because I didn't keep my manners." Even many years later, Zhang Youyi's granddaughter said that many relatives and friends still felt ashamed of Zhang Youyi's divorce. ("I heard an ambiguous rumor about her (Zhang Youyi) divorce from my cousin and aunt of the same age. When they talked about her divorce, there was humiliation and sadness in their tone. " )

Of course, the Zhang brothers still have a good impression on Zhang Youyi, but in their minds, women's status in their lives is still very low. For example, Zhang Junmai said, "Women can only get married once, otherwise the customs in China will be meaningless." Under the influence of such values, perhaps they think that their sister's divorce is not worthy of special attention, let alone affect their friendship with Xu Zhimo. In her later years, Zhang Youyi wanted to remarry, and when she asked her brother's advice, neither of her two respected brothers supported her. The fourth brother was noncommittal, and the second brother Zhang Junmai just wrote back to let her make her own decision. ("Brother Bucai, I have been widowed with my sister for thirty years, and I have taught her a lesson, but I am old now. Fortunately, I didn't fill the ravine first. How dare I praise this name? Sister-in-law, hope for self-determination. " )

Third, the family style is generous.

The Zhang brothers understand both Chinese and western cultures, but they are not antagonistic in character. On the one hand, they adhere to the science, rationality and civilization of western learning, and are open-minded and tolerant in marriage and love. For example, after Xu Zhimo divorced his sister, IX still kept close contact with Xu and supported the love between Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman. Another example is knowing that his wife Han and Xu Zhimo have a good relationship, but always let Han kiss Xu Zhimo on the cheek when leaving the party. On the other hand, the Zhang brothers still adhere to the sense of responsibility and morality in traditional morality. For example, the second brother saw the pain of Zhang Youyi's foot-binding, and resolutely opposed it, saying that if he couldn't find his husband's family, he would raise her himself. Later, I heard that Xu Zhimo let Zhang Youyi have an abortion, but my second brother resolutely opposed it and promised him that he would adopt a child and let her come to France at once. When talking about Xu Zhimo ignoring him, Zhang Youyi said that his brother had also studied Chinese and Western, but he got along with himself. ("My brother and I talk about everything and are as knowledgeable as Xu Zhimo, but when I am with my husband, the situation is always:' What do you know' and' What can you say'?" )

Fourth, Xu Fu made up for it.

Although Xu Zhimo is mean to Zhang Youyi, his parents are reasonable and always think of their daughter-in-law. For example, Xu Fu refused to admit Xu Zhimo's private divorce procedure, and insisted on waiting for Zhang Youyi to return to China, asking her to admit the divorce before agreeing. Zhang Youyi said: "The master and his wife didn't let Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman get married. It was my own consent ... At the request of the master, they returned to China and gave me face, which showed that they still respected me ... No matter how the divorce papers were written, Xu Zhimo told them that they had to listen to me with their own ears." After Zhang Youyi's divorce, the Hsu family accepted Zhang Youyi as their adopted daughter and still regarded her as a member of the Hsu family, leaving her with many things. Xu's parents also divided one-third of the property between Zhang Youyi and his mother. These practices can be said to have resolved the contradiction between Zhang and Xu to a considerable extent, giving the Zhang family an increasingly imposing face. Of course, Zhang Youyi did repay the Hsu family a lot, not only raising their children and grandchildren, but also taking care of the affairs of Xu Zhimo and his parents.

Perhaps, it is for the above reasons that Xu Zhimo, who was heartless in his first marriage, was lucky enough to escape and pursue his ideal partner and future. Objectively speaking, Xu Zhimo's study abroad is a major turning point in his life. Although he was dissatisfied with the traditional marriage, he dared not disobey it. However, in the west, influenced by western scholars and ideas, it quickly westernized and the three views changed quickly. Although he is the so-called "the first divorcee in China", he has forgotten the excellence of China's traditional values, such as responsibility and responsibility, which is undoubtedly a historical regret and worth pondering by future generations.