Jokes and riddles about homophones Jokes and riddles about homophones

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In the late Qing Dynasty, a French missionary went to preach in rural China. When he saw a little girl, he went up and asked: "Little basin of oil, do you want to chew it?"

The little girl said: Wash your feet? I wash it every day, why do you ask?

The missionary understood that the little girl had misunderstood, so he explained: It’s not chewing carefully, it’s Jiao.

Little girl: Ah, my surname is not Jiao, my surname is Wang.

The missionary couldn't bear it anymore and said: I'm not telling you what your last name is, I want your last name to be Jiao, please be Jiao, please be Jiao!

The missionary was so excited and his voice was so loud that it scared the little girl to tears and also alarmed the villagers. When the villagers heard this, they thought it was okay, the missionary was a gangster, and they beat him away.

The missionary returned to the bishop and said: (French) I told them to believe in religion, but they didn’t want to believe it and beat me.

One

Don’t care about the east or the west, just take care of the wine;

Whether it is prosperous or declining, just drink.

In the Qing Dynasty, the business of a tavern in Jiangnan was sluggish. A scholar wrote this couplet and the business gradually improved. "Guan" is a joke to "Guan", "Bai" is a joke to "Bar"

二

Minzi led the white ox past the prince's shop;

White Gong rode Black horse, rush to the public smelting field.

A certain school boy put together a play by Confucian disciples. "Min Ziqian" is a homology to "Min Ziqian", "Bainiu" is a homology to "[Ran] Boniu", "Bai Gongqi" is a homology to "Baigong Qi", "Gongye Chang" is a homology to "Gongye Chang"

Three

Shanghai scholars came down to the imperial examination, just to write a letter;

The people in Huating suffered disasters, all because of their evil deeds.

In the Ming Dynasty, Zheng Luoshu, the magistrate of Shanghai, and Nie Bao, the magistrate of Huating, played against each other. "Luoshu" is a homology to "Luoshu", and "Niebao" is a homology to "Nie Bao"

四

Sail with the wind and sail against the wind, the sail is slow and the sail is fast;

When the tide rises, the oars are used when the tide goes out, and when the tide goes out, the oars are pulled straight.

Zhu Yunming to a certain friend. "Fan Chi" is a homology to "Fan Chi", a disciple of Confucius; "Fan Kuai" is a homology to "Fan Kuai", a general in the early Han Dynasty; "Lu Zhi" is a homology to "Lu Zhi", the character of Huang Tingjian in the Song Dynasty; "Lu La" is a homology to "Lu Ban", an ancient craftsman

五

The nail was pulled out from the stern of the boat, Confucius was born at the end of the boat;

There was lightning in the clouds, and Huo Guang was born in Hanzhong.

Xie Jin to a certain friend. "Zhou" is a homologue of "Zhou", and "Huo Guang" is a homologue of "Huoguang"

六

The cat enjoys the cool under the bamboo, without any heat at all;

The butterflies and flowers look to each other. The next day, there is more wind.

"summer" is a homologue to "rat", and "wind" is a homologue to "bee"

七

Walking around in clothes and shoes means urgent matters;

Abandoning armor and dragging troops away, you will often lose.

Xia Yuanji, Minister of the Ministry of War, gave Zhou a lot of trouble. "Emergency" is a homologue of "give things", "Changshu" is a homologue of "Shang Shu"

Eight

Take off your clothes, take off your crown and walk, sacrificing others to give things;

Abandoning his armor and dragging his soldiers away, he proclaimed the title of Fu Shangshu.

Zhao Jiuling versus Zhang Tao. "Giushi" is a homologue of "urgent matter", and "Shang Shu" is a homologue of "often losing"

八

The clogs are shoes, but there are really no shoes under the feet;

Coconut scoop As a lamp, those who respect the previous committee are not bell-like.

Ming Hu Weiyong and Yuan Liuzhuang play opposite each other. "Wu Lu" is a fungus for "rudeness", and "buzhong" is a fungus for "unloyalty"

Nine

Isn't it a false island to build a lake with rocks in the middle of the river?

< p>Putting a tiger's skin on a horse's back is called a spotted tiger.

Wen Zhengming versus Xu Zhenqing. "Fake Island" is a homology to "Jiadao", and "Banbiao" is a homology to "Banbiao"

十

The rain hits the Confucian crown like a wooden ladle holding oil;

The snow falling on the monk's head is like pounding powder into a hammer.

You Xiucai versus Monk Lei. "You" is a homophone to "you", and "lei" is a homophone to "thunder"

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Homophony for a postscript

1. The dwarf crosses the river - An ( Flooded) heart

2. The nun in the nunnery - not blessed (husband)

3. Burned out the lamp oil - heartburn (core)

4. Stir-fried green onions with cabbage leaves - kiss (green) on top of kiss (green)

5. Fight and pull beards - Qian (hand) and Xu (beard)

6. Big boat Carrying the sun - barely surviving (crossing) the sun

7. Swimming in a cesspit - not afraid of death (poop)

Homophonic jokes

1. Seeing chickens And Zuo

Once upon a time, there was a landowner who loved chickens. The tenants rented his land and had to pay the rent alone.

They had to give him a chicken first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San who went to pay rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land for the second year.

When he went there, he put a chicken in a bag and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about the land tenure in the second year.

The landlord saw that he was empty-handed, so he With his eyes raised to the sky, he said, "There are no three kinds of chickens allowed in this field."

Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"

Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was 'nonsense (chicken) talk', and this sentence now is 'made after seeing

the opportunity (chicken)'."

2. The ears are here

The newly appointed magistrate is from Shandong. Because he has to hang up the accounts, he said to the master: "You buy me two bamboo poles

Come on."

The master misunderstood the Shandong dialect word "bamboo pole" as "pork liver" and quickly agreed, hurriedly ran

to the butcher shop and said to the shopkeeper: "The new county magistrate wants to buy two pork livers. You are a sensible person.

You should know it by heart!"

The shop owner is a smart man. He understood it as soon as he heard it and cut it immediately. I got two pig livers and a pair of pig ears as a gift.

After leaving the butcher shop, the master thought to himself: "The master asked me to buy pork liver, of course these pig ears are mine..." So he wrapped the pig ears OK, put it in your pocket. Returning to the county office, he reported to the magistrate

"Report to the master, I bought pork liver!"

The magistrate saw that what the master bought back was pork liver, and said angrily: "You Where are the ears?”

When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:

“The ears...the ears...are...in my...my... In your pocket!"

3. Homophonic to save people

A noble official invited a banquet. The cook was beaten and imprisoned by a noble official because the pancakes he fried were uncooked.

The next day, the noble officials hosted another banquet. Two people wanted to save the cook, one pretended to be a fortune teller, and the other pretended to be an old man asking for fortune telling at the banquet.

Fortune teller: "In which year do you honor Gengjia?"

The old man deliberately said loudly: "Bingzi is born."

The fortune teller kept shouting Called: "No, no, no."

The old man pretended to be unhappy and asked: "It has only been a year and there is no time, why can't it be said well?"

Fortune telling The gentleman said: "Yesterday, the boy born in Jiazi was still in prison, not to mention you were born in Bingzi (homophoned as "bake boy")?"

The guests all laughed. The noble official realized what he meant and released the cook.