The whole class was talking during self-study tonight. I also said a few words, and the math teacher marked them down for me. I talked to the whole class.

1. The teacher asked us to use the word "sure enough" to make sentences, so my deskmate wrote: I haven't showered for three months, and my body really stinks.

2. An article introducing the teacher's appearance. It should be "The teacher has a face with melon seeds", but sometimes it is written as "The teacher has a face with claws". Our Chinese teacher almost went crazy.

4. The sports meeting finally started, and the students ran out like stray dogs.

5． The uncles crawled forward one by one, like green caterpillars squirming on the ground.

6． "I died in the classroom due to illness..." "My brother has a newly shaved head, like a little bald donkey in the Shaolin Temple..."

9. When I was in elementary school, I was very used to writing about good people and good deeds in my compositions. So people always write about picking up money. So, in order to exaggerate his achievements, someone wrote that he had picked up 100 million yuan in the park. They were all in 10-yuan coins and were as thick as a Chinese language document (for fourth grade students). The teacher read it out on the spot, and the classmate probably felt extremely cold.

10. The old lady took out four yuan coins.

11. "I have a classmate. He is neither tall nor short. He is over 1.76 meters and under 1.78 meters..." The work of a junior high school classmate...

13. A primary school teacher wrote a composition with a semi-proposition: "My xxx" and randomly wrote about people and things. As a result, the title of my classmate's composition was: My comrade Qiu Shaoyun.

17． Do you still remember "Tadpole Looking for Mom" ??from elementary school? At that time, the teacher asked us to imitate this and write a composition about ***... One classmate wrote like this: My mother's snow-white belly and bulging eyes...

18. I once peeked at a girl's composition, and the most chilling thing was: If I become a nurse in the future, I will treat patients like a lover.

19. A sister's nephew, using "brand new" in a sentence, "a brand new vegetative person was born"... (Credit to Zhao Benshan). !

21. This classmate wrote: "Guoqiang (one of my male classmates) is sitting on a stool. He is as big as a pumpkin in the field, with a large section exposed under his clothes." The teacher read it out during class and said that this classmate described It was very vivid. After class, this classmate was beaten by that classmate...

22. When I was in third grade, another teacher once took over the class. We are asked to write an article "A Corner of My Home". So I wrote: The corner of my house is very beautiful, round and bright, and it is a toilet.

23. On a dark night, the tadpoles in the pond were basking in the sun!

25. Famous quotes from classmates: The wild geese flew miemie in the sky; the round moon looked like a curved bow.

27． When I was in elementary school, I heard someone say that a wild donkey ran the fastest, so I compared a classmate to "He can run faster than a wild donkey." Later, the teacher said that I shouldn't write like this, and I wondered why it couldn't work...

28. I walked into a department store. Ah, it seems that living standards have indeed improved. Look at the old farmer, running away with a refrigerator in his left hand and a TV in his right hand.

29. The content of my classmate is probably: One time I was sick, and he gave me tutoring regardless of rain or shine. It was pouring rain and thundering that day. I thought he would not come, but he came despite the rain... He died of a high fever the next day. I will always miss this good friend.

30. There is a reading question on the primary school Chinese language test paper, which basically talks about a mother who endured all kinds of hardships for her children and died in the end. After reading, students were asked to say a few words from their hearts to their mothers on Qingming Festival a year later. A primary school student wrote: "I wish my mother a happy Tomb Sweeping Day, may you be as blessed as the East China Sea, and live as long as the Southern Mountains!".

1 A colleague asked me: Who is your wife?

2 Once I borrowed money from someone, what I originally wanted to say was "I will pay you back when I withdraw the money."

p>

It is said that "I will take it from you when I have the money"

Khan

3 A classmate named Yu Jingbo received a letter one day, and the dormitory guard shouted at the door of the dormitory. : Gan Liangpi, Gan Liangpi’s letter!

4 Our Chinese teacher: Please turn the book to the dollar

The whole class was stunned, and the teacher was nicknamed "Money Fan" haha

5 One time, a friend was watching a DVD at home, but the quality of the disc was not good. My friend said: "Why are there so many?" It took a while to realize that he meant Masek!

6 When a buddy gets married, give him a red envelope. My friend politely said no.

I said: That’s okay, it’s only once a year, you must take it.

7 The character read "The White-Haired Girl" in junior high school

A boy (Yang Bailao): Pulled two kilograms of red hair rope and tied it up for my Xi'er...

< p>Teacher: It’s not like mummies...

8 When I was getting rice, I pointed at the cauliflower and said, “Here are some potatoes.”

Auntie asked: Cauliflower?

I continued to point to the cauliflower and said: Potatoes

The aunt asked again: Is it a potato or a cauliflower?

I said anxiously: This is not a potato...oh, cauliflower?

Now that I think about it, it’s enough to make me vomit blood. Sorry, my aunt.

9 When I went to the pastries, I originally wanted to say, “Two pineapple pies and an egg tart.” It turned out to be "come to two orioles to sing egg towers"

What's even more depressing is that the shop owner actually understood...

10 There was a girl in our class in college My name is Liu Yun. Once, a classmate from another class sent her a letter. On the envelope, there is a horizontal line above the lower half of the word "Yun" in her character "Yun". Because the writing was too sloppy, the horizontal line turned into a dot. As a result, the classmate took the letter and shouted in our corridor, "Liu Mang, who is Liu Mang? I have a letter from you." Everyone in the corridor ran out to see Liu Mang (the gangster). As a result, the girl named Liu Yun was helplessly called a gangster for four years.

11 There was a time when there were rats in the house, and my mother prescribed rat poison to keep the family peaceful, but not a single mouse was killed by the medicine. One morning, my mother got up early, looked at the rat medicine in the corner of the door, and said to herself, "Why is no one taking this medicine?" The whole family fainted. . .

12 The English teacher taught grammar and asked everyone before get out of class: "I have finished speaking, does anyone still understand?" We answered in unison: "No!"

13 Raise your glass to welcome the bright moon, bow your head and miss your hometown.

14 Once while playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to light a candle and continue playing. After half an hour, the heat became unbearable. One person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan. It's hot." He's dead." Another person said: "Can't open it, it will blow out the candle."

15 As the saying goes: If you kill someone and set fire to it, you will pay back your debt.

16 In the physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said: Radioactive elements are very dangerous, and you humans must stay away from them! !

17 If you can’t eat grapes, you will vomit grape skins

18 Then I picked up someone, it was a clothing salesman, and he kept saying that he had made uniforms for a certain big company. I caught the other party talking and blurted out: "We don't wear uniforms!"

The other party whispered for a few seconds and then said "Excuse me" and hung up.

19 Our university teacher: I am looking for three classmates, one male and one female...

The whole class began to look around, looking for Li Yuchun.

On the 20th, I was returning to the dormitory from self-study in the evening, and I met a fairy girl on the road, so I followed her

I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but had no courage to approach until the fairy girl was about to walk into the girls' building

Clenching his teeth, he stepped forward and asked the girl loudly: Classmate, are you a woman?

Later... later I enjoyed the supercilious looks of that fairy sister for two years

21 When Deng discussed the class, the teacher was very excited: How many heroic children are lingering underground...

The graduation project of 22 students is made of red cloth and sewn on a black robe-like garment.

The defending teacher asked: Why use red instead of other colors?

When the classmate got excited, he blurted out: Because he burned himself!! (probably he meant to say he was reborn from the ashes). Three seconds later, the classmate who came to watch the defense laughed wildly, and my stomach twisted with laughter!

23 In junior high school, the teacher asked me to carry Mulan Ci (the teacher was more BT), and I was nervous

... When my brother heard that his sister came, he sharpened his knife and went to his parents (pig and sheep)... .

The whole class burst into laughter, and I laughed too, but I forgot all about it later. Fortunately, the teacher didn’t punish me~~

24 Heaven, earth, Dou E is more unjust than me. ah!

24 I helped LPWSJ, but I went to the store for a long time and didn’t know anything, so I just took a pack and asked the store owner: "Boss, is this easy to use?" The boss (male) looked at it blankly. I took 5 seconds and said: "I have never used this before!"

25 When I was a child, my father watched me write compositions. There was a very simple word written wrong. My father smiled and said to my mother: "I found your son is very stupid." I became anxious and said loudly to my father: "Your son is stupid!" -_-b

26 Soldiers come to block the water with soil and water

27 My mother once went to the bank to pay the water bill. After I paid the money, the person at the bank said, "You don't have enough money. There is a second page here, and you have to pay this one as well."

My mom: What’s on the second page?

Staff: sewage

My mom: My family never drinks sewage.

28 When our high school director once again angrily scolded us for not paying attention in class, he said: "If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for turning against me!"

29 Mathematics The teacher's signature move

Raise two fingers and say to the students: "Students, the key to learning mathematics well is three words!! 'Practice more!!'"

30 That day I said my girlfriend was as stupid as a pig, so she pinched me. It hurt so much, and she never let go. I got anxious and said, "I'll sue your mother for abusing a pig!"

31 One day, I went to worship Guanyin with my parents and younger brother

I didn’t wake up for much, so I walked forward and said:

Suffering Bodhisattva...

Parents:-____-|||

Brother:-____-||||

Bodhisattva: T_____T||||||

32 When I was taking a FoxPro class in my sophomore year, a teacher started to count how many people we had in class,

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, tick... (Suddenly stopped )

33 One day, my dear mommy asked me to remove Sichuan peppercorns.

Mommy: "Go and bring back a pound of peppercorns."

Oops: "One pound! Why so much?"

Mommy: "Nonsense~ For cooking!!"

I went out in frustration, and asked specifically when I was leaving: "Are you sure it's a pound?"

Oudi's answer My eyes roll! Sweat...

After arriving at the market, the more I thought about it, the more wrong I became. Why is one pound of peppercorns? It’s too much, right? ! Take it out——confirm again!

The answer was still the same: a pound of pepper! ! !

A pound of Sichuan peppercorns cost 28 yuan. The boss weighed and bagged them for me. When I was about to pay, I heard~~~Mom? !

Just listen to the roar from the other side: "Wrong! Wrong! It's not a pound, not a pound, it's one tael!!!"

Breaking sweat! ! ! !

34 When I first handed in, there were many people coming and going, and the security guard would question me every time.

I originally wanted to say that I was the owner, but in the end, I often said that I was the landlord...,

I ran away while the security guard's brain was short-circuited.

35 In my freshman year, I played a "thief" at a party in the college. I became very famous and was favored by girls. They all called me "thief" on weekdays. One day when I was wandering to Asia Trade Center, I was spotted by a fast-talking girl from Harbin in my class. She excitedly shouted at me and rushed over to me: "Oh, thief, thief", which made me immediately attracted by the people next to me. Hold on...

Also

1 In the unit's congratulations, a leader said: "I wish everyone good health..." Hold on, I have no words.

2 Once I helped my boss book a hotel and wanted to ask if they had any services such as free Internet access, but I couldn’t think of a good way to say it, so I asked the other person: “Excuse me, do you have any services here? What special services?"

The other party: "What? Special services? We are a regular hotel!"

-__-!!!!

3 Dormitory Old I got out of bed and looked for my slippers for a long time, but there were none. I asked everyone: Why are my slippers gone?

4 While shopping, a friend suddenly exclaimed: "Wow! 'Virgin Bookstore'!" I was shocked. When I looked up, I saw a plaque with four big characters written on it

——Foreign Language bookstore-__-!

5 I once went to the mutton skewers

I stretched out 4 fingers and said to the boss, "Here are three mutton skewers."

The boss was confused, "How many?" ”

I stretched out 3 fingers and said “4”...

6 Our general manager’s surname is Zhou. One time he called me while I was driving. I opened my mouth when I was nervous. Said: "Premier Zhou..."

7 My surname is Zhu, and I manage the company. Someone once hit me: "Chief Chicken, are you in the pig?" I scolded the guy at that time

8 I was queuing up in the cafeteria and heard a boy next to me say: "Here comes a bowl of 'bullet cauliflower' Soup!” (Seaweed and Egg Drop Soup) Haha, I laughed so much that I sprayed soup.

9 One day, I was eating very slowly and very hungry at a rice noodle shop

Finally I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and I slapped the table and roared. I originally wanted to say that if I didn’t get rice noodles, I would flip the table over. !

The result was: "Boss!!!! If you don't serve rice noodles, I will eat the table!!!!"

The whole store was silent for 3 seconds and then burst into laughter under the table... ...embarrassing...

10 When my parents quarreled, my dad said angrily: "I'll get you out of here!"

11 When I was playing basketball in high school, A got the ball. , passed to B selflessly, and B easily scored. After a while, B got the ball, and A shouted to pass the ball to him. But B throws the ball himself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I was really blinded just now...

The whole audience burst out laughing

12 In my impression, the squad leader in elementary school was extremely serious. During a self-study class, the classroom There was a lot of noise in the room. After maintaining order several times, the squad leader finally had no choice. He stood up and slammed the table and roared: Whoever makes noise again, cut his mouth off!!!... The whole class was silent

13 University When we were playing, we asked a buddy how Manchester United was doing, and he said excitedly: "Manchester United lost, and Beckham got two yellow plates and was sent off!"

14 If you don't have the Golden Hoop, don't win it. Porcelain Activity

15 When I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture about a new type of material and said: "The sexual function of this material is incomparable to old materials... Oh no, performance and function... …"

16 When I was in military training, the company commander shouted the command - "Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"

17 College At that time, I heard a girl ordering:, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour potato shreds, don’t put the potatoes!

18 When I was a sophomore in high school, our Chinese teacher was an old teacher who had just been transferred from Nanchang. His accent was very strong. His son went to the Department of Architecture at Tsinghua University, which was also the purpose of his visit. He was very proud of his son. He always told us about his son and said this every time, "My (son) son is a frog (Tsinghua University)." ) University Toad (Architecture) Department". ． ．

If moths get to frogs and toads, wouldn’t they become snacks? ． ．

19 While cooking at noon, my mother gave me a pot of carrots: "Go and cut the carrots into diced meat!"

20 A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write the festival section? I answered: Add a festive stanza under the prefix "草" and remove the prefix "草"! Everyone burst into laughter! I didn’t react for a moment~~~~~~~!

21 When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me which year I graduated.

I was originally going to say New Year, but I got excited and said: "Two thousand years ago..."

What was even more shocking was that the examiner actually said: "A student of Confucius."

22 Just over 10 minutes into class, my deskmate raised his hand and said: Teacher, I want to use the toilet.

The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you when you still need to go to the toilet?

22 I have a classmate who has been reviewing for the computer level 3 test. One day while playing football, another classmate dribbled the ball to the bottom line and heard him shout: Enter! Enter! (Biography)

23 I remember one time when I went to a fruit called Elizabeth, I opened my mouth and said: Boss, how much does Shakespeare cost? The boss was stunned on the spot

24 The physics teacher talked about waves: "This is a thick spring. I push it from both ends to see if it becomes dense (constipated)?"

25 I heard from my classmates,

Once a girl in their dormitory went to buy sanitary napkins.

She said to the boss: a pack of sanitary napkins.

The boss actually asked: Do you want fresh food or spicy food?

Then the classmate was stunned for a moment and said: Let’s have three fresh dishes, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stand the spicy food. . .

26 Senior sister from university, majoring in educational psychology. She was late... walked into the classroom and glanced sideways at the blackboard. The old professor got angry and asked the senior sister to answer the question on the blackboard. The senior sister hesitated for a long time and said: &uot ;, this is too difficult to explain."The whole class was overwhelmed. (Note. Professor's original topic: "On Reason and Sensibility"

2 50 new slips of the tongue are now available Earth! ——Funny slip of the tongue hot version (ZT)

27 A very close male classmate of mine fell to the ground. To express my concern, I asked: "Does your fall hurt?" ; but I accidentally said, "You fell to death, right?" Sweat~~~ The brother stood up, patted him, farted, and said, "He's not dead, he's still breathing!" I fainted< /p>

28 Drinking with the leader and others, he raised his glass and said loudly: "Let us die together!" My brain was too hot at the time...

29 Once, we A newspaper photographer came back from an interview with a certain female celebrity. At the meeting, he talked about how he got to know the celebrity. The boss looked at the pile of photos on the table and joked: I think you have become his official photographer.

But the boss's southern Mandarin was unclear, and he pronounced "Yu" as the sound of "日". From then on, this poor photojournalist was known to us as a "day photographer". When he worked overtime, of course he became a "night photographer".

30 Boss, do you have any toilet paper cards?

31 One of our colleagues is on a business trip, and the dealer treats us to dinner. If you need to urinate during the meal, the dealer said that there is a restroom opposite. If you go there, if you tell the door, we are eating opposite and it will be free. In order to save two cents, our colleague walked straight away and confidently said to the toilet man: "I'm here to eat!"

32 I work in the logistics department. During the Chinese New Year, customers called to inquire. When will the pre-holiday goods arrive? Because the past few days of the holiday have been so confusing, I couldn’t figure out the contents of the order, so I asked casually: What are you?

33 I have a friend who has just watched "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" and is very interested in the "dog-beating stick method" and often makes jokes with others.

One day, he did it again as usual. He kicked someone else and shouted: "Kick the dog!" Everyone laughed wildly, and he felt embarrassed, so he kicked him again and shouted: "Kick the dog!"

34 My high school student I went out to work during the holidays

I wanted to find a job as a waiter in a restaurant

Because I was still a child and it was my first time to work, so I was very nervous

I originally wanted to ask the manager if he needed any part-time workers, but I thought it would be more subtle to ask if he needed any manpower.

The result was: "Manager, do you need any helpers here?"

< p>At that time, I almost found a hole to crawl in

35 One time I went to a vegetable market to prepare for a dinner. A Korean friend ordered lettuce for 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change he had to the vendor, and he was still short of one. cents, so he said to the hawker--

"I gave you all my hair, so there is no more hair."

The hawker was speechless for a long time, and then answered--

p>

“I don’t want any more of your hair.”

36 The manager usually says to smokers during meetings: Smokers will be strangled to death!!

37 Thinking back to that time When KFC launched Liuxiang to spread its wings, I always thought Liu Xiang was the spokesperson for KFC because I didn’t watch it and only heard what others said. When I arrived at Ken, I told the waiter directly that I wanted Liu Xiang to spread his wings. . .

After the KFC Sudan Red incident on 38, I went to KFC and the waiter asked, what would you like? I didn’t even think about it: a pair of Sudanese reds. The waiter immediately looked like he was choked

39 A few days ago, I went to a small shop with some colleagues after work. There were quite a lot of people in the shop at that time. A fat waiter was very busy. A colleague shouted: "Waiter~~", and the girl ran over and said: "What kind of bill do you guys want to settle?" At that time, we all paid, and we will go back later. When eating at this restaurant, you shout "waiter" when ordering, and then shout "order!!" when you are leaving after eating.

40 I met a colleague in the bathroom at noon, and suddenly I didn't know what words to use to say hello. By chance, I asked: "Have you eaten?" After asking, I was very annoyed and embarrassed, when my colleague replied: "Have you eaten, and you?" I fainted~~~~~~

41 Me When a colleague wanted to ask about the exchange rate between currency and yen, he immediately asked how the orangutan and yen were exchanged.

42 The guys in the dormitory were watching "Prison Break", and there was a scene where a person took out a razor blade from his mouth to kill someone. The boss suddenly said: "I K, I can still talk even if my mouth is hidden in a razor blade. I’m convinced...”

43 One day at noon, my mother asked my brother to move the dining table to the side. My brother didn't move for a long time, and my mother said something like this in a hurry:

&uot;Did you hear that? !Tell you to move the table two kilometers to the side&uot;

=_=!!!

44 After the union chairman gave an impassioned speech, the last sentence reached: Comrades, Let’s do a better job this year than next year! Everyone fell down.

45 Our teacher is very good. One day he said this: "Take out the homework, let's check the answers, mark the correct ones, and then write the correct answers on them..."

p>

46 I called a long-awaited friend and learned that he was applying for "suspension with salary"

47 There are so many beauties in the country that it attracts countless heroes to shoot big eagles. . . . . .

48 I went to the cinema to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean 3". There was a trailer for "Transformers" before the movie started. When I saw the leader of the Decepticons, I couldn't think of "Megatron" or anything else. His team was called "Decepticons". Because he was so excited, he exclaimed, "It's so handsome, it's Nan Decepticon!"

The terrible thing is that it was suddenly very quiet at that time. Any movie sound effects, countless people stare at me and burst into laughter...it's so embarrassing!

49 Dinner with a group of friends

One of them must have been cheated on by his brother. He was so depressed that he drank a lot of beer, then stood up with a red face and yelled

p>

Brother! It’s not coming out! ! !

I guess I originally wanted to say that the brothers are not here for it

At that time, there were more than a dozen people at the table all lying down

How to distinguish the authenticity of coins ?

Prepare one hundred yuan. Fold it in half and then in half again, put it on the ground and step on it. Pick it up and see if the person above has a nosebleed. If there is a nosebleed, it is true. No nosebleed. It's fake

A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive!!"

(Translation: Comrades and villagers, please pay attention! Don’t talk, the meeting is now!)

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, sausages and pickles!"

(Translation: Let the township chief speak now!)

The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone is a big bastard!"

(Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough. Let’s all have big bowls!)

No pickles, I’ll pick up some dog poop for you to lick. ． ．

(Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story...)

First line: The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I am waiting for your reply. Second line: Live for you, die for you, wait for you all my life. Hengpi: Sent to the wrong person.

During the Forest Games, kangaroos and monkeys were praised by the Lion King for their high jumps. The bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look, you are still looking like a bear on the bridge (you are still looking at it!)

I heard that a mangy jumped out of Taihu Lake and was run over by a car today. I have been very worried after hearing this , will be sent to you immediately. If you are still alive, please reply to me!

People in the world know about your martial arts skills, but you can’t be proud. There is a sword among people, a person among swords, and people and swords become one. Once you achieve this, you are no longer a human, but a swordsman! Sword man! Sword man!

Look at you, you have an American head, a French waist, an Indian nose, and athlete’s foot. You are neither human nor ghost. You only have one head and two legs. Look at you, you are still grinning. Mouth!

The farmers wanted to see the red sun and blue sky, so they rushed into the cinema excitedly and shook the sky with angry shouts. The village chief came to ask what was going on, but the farmer said, "The guy who is watching is not the main actor, and we won't give him any money if he beats him to death."

Are your palms itchy? That means I miss your caress; are your lips itchy? That means I miss your passionate kiss; are you itchy...that means you are so dirty, why don't you go take a shower!

You are as diligent as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as well-behaved as a kitten, as honest as an old cow, and as powerful as a tiger. No wonder others call you...a beast. !

Who has no shit in life, and who does not use paper for defecation? If you don't use toilet paper, you must use your fingers!

It's just a gust of wind, but it's so eternal; it's just a dream, but it's so real; you lower your head and say nothing, but I can't calm down, and finally I can't help but say to you: "I'll say it first." "Sound!"

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, the moon will not have light; if there is no you... fools will not exist.

I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat in the afternoon because I miss you even more. I can't eat in the evening because I miss you crazily. I can't sleep at night because I miss you so much. .........I'm hungry

I heard that you don't have the function, so I posted this test. If you receive it and it is confirmed that it is functional and it is mine, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

One ring means I miss you; two rings means I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Fourth tone, I miss you very much; fifth tone - demo, it’s time to pick it up!

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, it will be in vain. alive.

The beggar led the monkey along the street to beg. He asked the monkey to laugh and it laughed, to cry and it cried, to bow and it bowed, and to look and it looked.

That day when you were participating in a football match, you shot a volley. Before the goalkeeper could react, the ball went in! We all applauded and cheered for you. You got up, patted and said: Damn, the ground is too slippery!

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly----Pig !

All the water tribes congratulated the old Dragon King on his birthday. During the dinner, Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it, and then put it back. The Dragon King hurriedly asked: What's wrong with Prime Minister Turtle? The shrimp soldiers and crab generals quickly replied: The old bastard has received it again.

I thought about you a lot last night, and after much thought, you were the coolest. I searched for you in my dreams a thousand times, and when I looked back, I found you chained deep in someone’s donkey shed. How cruel! cruel! Calm down your anger after reading the message!

Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you. Can you pick me up at the station? But I'm afraid there are so many people that it won't be easy to recognize me, so you put your head in a pose, hold a wooden stick in your right hand, and a porcelain bowl in your left hand, and say quietly: Okay, okay!

I dreamed of you. You made clothes out of white clouds, borrowed wings from a bird, stuck a broom behind you, and then flew to my side like a sword, and told me affectionately: You know. Well? This is what Birdman looks like.

I once thought there was a better one, but over and over again I realized that the best is right around me, just like you. At first, I didn't take you seriously, but as time went by, I realized that you were the best... to bully!

I am determined to do 3 big things for the country: 1. Repair elevators on Mount Everest 2. Lay ceramic tiles on the Great Wall 3. Install reverse gears on airplanes; 3. Small things: 1. Put on gloves for flies 2. Put on masks for mosquitoes 3. Give you some pig feed.

You travel to Xishuangbanna, Yunnan, and encounter a wild boar on the way. The tourists all take out food and money, but the wild boar is unmoved. You take out your only ID card, and the pig kneels down and cries: Boss. , we found you!

You are a 10 carefree person, and often have fun with 9. 8 cannot have hundreds of millions of money at home. You have abandoned 7 for many years. You are busy all day long, looking for prey. 5 needs to ask more questions, and 4 nature If you don't change and still have two minds, you must not be a good person.

You are very creative. Living is your courage. Being ugly is not your original intention. Without you, who can bring out the beauty of the world!