Open your mind and use wisdom to see the invisible things

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I recently watched a Thai public welfare short film "Seeing the Invisible Things with Wisdom" about fighting against online violence. The contrast between the before and after content is very strong. It can almost be described as making you angry in the first 2 minutes and crying in the last 2 minutes. The video is as follows:

The purpose of this advertisement is to remind us not to make evaluations easily based on fragmented information, let alone take them out of context and evaluate others at will. This is true on the Internet, and even more so in life. After all, what we see with our eyes is just an appearance. Without antecedents, many consequences cannot define right and wrong.

A friend once shared a story. She often took her child A to play with the children. One time, several children were playing a game of growing leaves from a small tree. That is, the children picked up a lot of fallen leaves, and then placed these leaves one by one on nearby small trees, as if they were new leaves. The children were having fun when suddenly Little A threw all the leaves that Little C was placing on the ground. Now Little C was not happy and burst into tears. Little A's grandma immediately scolded Little A, "Why are you so naughty? Little C finally put the leaves up. Look, she was so angry that you cried. Go and say sorry." The matter ended with an apology. .

After hearing grandma’s description, my friend returned home in the evening and immediately asked the child, “Mom, I heard that you threw all the children’s leaves on the floor today. Can you tell me the reason for doing this?”

Little A looked at her mother and said unhappily: "There is an ant on that leaf. I'm afraid it will crawl on us."

Only then did the friend understand. We discovered the real problem. It turned out that the child threw away the leaves only because of an ant. Although it seemed that the child's behavior was wrong, her starting point was right, but she did not handle it correctly.

The friend immediately hugged Little A and said, "You are not a naughty child, but a very enthusiastic good child, but that leaf belongs to your good friend, so you want to throw it away. Always ask for the consent of a good friend first. "

A friend's words restore the truth of the matter, soothe a pure childish heart, and provide the child with a solution to the problem.

Children’s world is the simplest, so it is difficult for them to consider the consequences of what they do. It is precisely because of this that we need to be patient and let them tell the truest feelings in their hearts. ideas, so as to better guide their behavior.

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Not long ago, the little God of Fortune wanted to change his shoes to go to kindergarten. I took out a pair of blue sneakers that I wore before, but I didn’t want to wear them anyway. He insisted on wearing the dark blue pair. I told him that the dark blue pair was dirty and needed to be cleaned, but he still persisted. When asked why, he didn’t tell him. I immediately put on the blue sneakers when he was not prepared, and then set off. Kindergarten.

When walking halfway, the little God of Fortune suddenly discovered that his shoes were wrong and he had an emotional breakdown. He cried and wanted to go home to change his shoes because he was already running out of time. The final result of the discussion was that He sent them to the kindergarten first, and then sent his shoes to the kindergarten to change.

Seeing his stubborn but painful look, I asked him again: "Why do you like those dark blue sneakers so much? Are these shoes uncomfortable?"

Little God of Wealth At this time, he explained the reason aggrievedly: "That pair of dark blue shoes has only one sticky hook. I can wear it myself, but I can't wear this blue one."

I suddenly realized that all the teachers in the kindergarten were If children are required to wear their own clothes and shoes, a pair of shoes that the children can wear themselves is the most convenient and comfortable for them, because it will not cause trouble to themselves or the teacher.

At the same time, I also blame myself for being so smart and not properly guiding my child to express his inner thoughts, which caused trouble for him and also caused trouble for myself.

I have heard many people say that their children are too willful. I often describe the little God of Wealth in this way. Because of their stubbornness, we are helpless and may even collapse emotionally. The final result is not To end in farce is to end in violent conflict.

I especially remember when I took my child to the hospital to see a doctor some time ago: I waited for more than four hours in a sea of ??people before seeing a doctor. When faced with the routine blood test, the little Caishenjun broke down emotionally. Why? None of them were willing to cooperate in taking blood. I tried to use various methods to persuade him and alleviate his fear, but it did not work. He was still crying and still uncooperative.

When we arrived in line, I could only forcefully hug the little Caishenjun who was about to run away and draw blood. Amidst his wailing cries and people’s doubtful eyes, I hugged him distressedly and comforted him. He, because only I know, has been waiting for more than four hours. He is tired, hungry and sleepy. It was almost impossible to get him to cooperate in doing things that he was usually afraid of in this extremely exhausted state.

In this state, his fear and sadness were magnified infinitely. Wanting to restore a calm state of mind could only allow him to release all his bad emotions, and all I could do was to accompany him, comfort him, and then After he has fully recovered, tell him what else he can do when faced with such bad emotions, and let him understand that crying is not the only way to vent his emotions. In addition to this most helpless way, there are many better ways. choose.

Others are just onlookers after all. They only see the child's willful behavior, not the reason for the willfulness, and maybe they won't see it at all. As the writer Yuzi said: "In our era, we may be too impetuous, impetuous to many things. We only believe what our eyes see, which brings our own subjective colors. But sometimes, what you see is not true. "You are not me, and you will never know what I have gone through."

This is especially true for children, because they do not yet have the ability to think independently. Don't put various negative labels on certain behaviors of our children because of our negligence. Once our thinking is solidified, it will be difficult for us to break out, and the harm to our children will become greater and greater. Because what we focus on will grow. Pay attention to the child's strengths, and the strengths will grow; pay attention to the shortcomings, and the shortcomings will also grow.

Just like the last sentence of the short film: "The value of a person cannot be evaluated solely by the pictures you see. Open your mind and use your wisdom to see things you haven't seen."

About Dao: I am a freelance designer, a full-time mother, a photography enthusiast, a young author who loves to write, and a primary school student who studies early childhood education. I wear multiple jobs but am able to do it with ease and enjoy it. Weibo: Avenue Focus.