"I have been married three times and abused every wife": What do you think of not persuading women to "keep their eyes open"?

Once, after Yu Ya, a beauty blogger, told about her experience of being beaten by her boyfriend, the news that Jiang violently controlled her new girlfriend came out on the Internet.

In the face of emotional and marital violence, people usually advise victims: "Be sure to keep your eyes open" and "Be sure to stop loss in time".

However, things are not as simple as we thought.

Besides advising the victims and condemning the perpetrators, we still need to do a lot.

- 1-

Let me show you this man first:

He likes photography, has certain aesthetics and has published his own works.

He treats people gently, loves small animals, keeps two dogs and a cat, and often takes pictures of cats and dogs;

He is very filial. He once took pictures of his elderly mother in his arms.

He has a good relationship with the opposite sex and often receives gifts from little girls. He looks very popular.

Do you think this person is not bad? It should be a good choice to fall in love and get married with him?

In August of 2065438+2008, Yuya felt the same way.

At that time, she had just become popular on the internet because of Mona Lisa's imitation makeup.

Then I got to know Feng Mo's painter @ Tuotuo Religion through cooperation.

At first, Tuotuo showed his gentle and upright side and tried to brag about his "talent".

Yu Ya was quickly moved and felt that she could meet such a perfect man.

Later, they fell in love. Yu Ya saw the true face of this man.

-2-

Tuotuo has no stable job and income, so he has to ask Yuya to pay for a bowl of noodles.

On one occasion, he asked Yuya to help him pay more than 5,000 yuan for a ventilator, turned around and sent a Weibo, pretending to be very deep and showing off: "When a girl gave me this, I silently put down my memoir that I was writing, held her on the shoulder and said that I would accompany me to see the sunset red."

Besides narcissism, hypocrisy and meanness, his more serious problem is his tendency to violence.

After only one year together, he hit Yuya five times.

On one occasion, Yuya tried to escape. He caught up with the elevator and dragged her out of it.

On another occasion, he hit Yu Ya and broke his coccyx, covered in injuries. Just when she was too painful to get up, he stepped on her face with his shoes.

He said, "sue me, you can't win!"

Yuya couldn't stand it any longer and made up her mind to break up with him.

How can Tuotuo be willing to give up such a free ATM and labor?

He was a carrot and stick, crying that he couldn't live any longer, threatening Yuya and her family, and running to their neighborhood, he scratched her car.

However, after Yu Ya disclosed her evil deeds, she received more and more applications from friends.

His ex-wife, ex-wife, girlfriend, students he taught, and people who witnessed his evil deeds all joined the condemnation.

They sat down and recorded a video of 12 minutes.

-3-

Whenever domestic violence is mentioned, people always say, "Be sure to polish your eyes before getting married."

It seems that everything will be fine as long as you keep your eyes open.

But in fact, who can guarantee 100% eye cream? In front of superb acting skills, it is useless to wipe with steel balls.

It's like Yu Ya knows to take off.

At first, she thought he cared about small animals.

Later, it was found that he beat women and small animals, and often beat dogs to incontinence, even Samoyed couldn't laugh.

His ex-girlfriend also saw him put the dog in a cage and beat his mouth full of blood.

At first, she thought he was filial to the elderly.

Later, I learned that he just posed with a photo of the old man. He never took care of the elderly, but locked his mother in the utility room and lived a life worse than that of a dog.

The old man suffered from Alzheimer's disease, also known as Alzheimer's disease, but died of organ failure inexplicably.

At first, she believed what he said, "Never hit a woman", which was very popular with the opposite sex.

Later, I learned that all the opposite sex who came into contact with him avoided him, instead of his boasting that "everyone seems to want to get back together with me."

Women who encounter domestic violence do not forget to "polish their eyes" because they deserve it.

But love rat's acting skills are too high to cover up the truth.

If a woman can only escape the fate of domestic violence through these layers of fog, then only Sherlock Holmes is eligible to get married.

-4-

Domestic violence is a tragedy that everyone may encounter, and the probability of its occurrence is not low at all.

According to official data, 30% of married women in China have suffered from domestic violence, and the number of victims is much higher than that of car accidents.

Saying "keep your eyes open" in front of domestic violence is similar to the phrase "slow down on the road" given to you by relatives and friends every time you go out.

It's basically a kind reminder, but it's of little use.

Really, we have not done enough just to persuade women to "keep their eyes open" and denounce the perpetrators on the Internet.

Let women say "no" to domestic violence, we need to do at least three things:

First, establish a special database to blacklist people with criminal records.

Domestic abusers are often very lazy and deceptive. For example, Wang Guangyu, who killed Dong Shanshan, spent several years in prison. After he is released from prison, he can pretend to be a warm man and continue his domestic violence with his mistress.

Now is the era of big data, grabbing seats on the train can be blacklisted, and domestic violence should also be blacklisted. I believe this is not difficult to do.

The safety of girls' lives is much more important than train seats!

Second: abolish the concept of "domestic violence" and treat it equally with other violence.

"Domestic violence" itself is a false concept, but it has been repeatedly abused.

Even Yu Ya, who is not married, just talked about love, and the violence she encountered was also classified as "domestic violence".

However, violence is violence, and it will not make the victim's coccyx break less painful just because it is "family conflict" or "emotional dispute".

Therefore, "family conflicts" and "emotional disputes" should not be an excuse to deal with any violence rashly.

Third, actively use the "personal safety protection order".

Many women know: "Domestic violence is only twice, countless times." However, after encountering domestic violence, they still chose to endure it silently.

The biggest reason is not cowardice, but fear of revenge.

At this time, our "personal safety protection order" must play its due role, not display it.

If you can't do the above three points, all persuading the victims of domestic violence to "polish their eyes" and "stop loss in time" is similar to standing and talking.