Humorous things that comfort people?

If you don't know how to comfort others, bring him joy with some humorous sentences! The following is my comforting words to you, with humor. Welcome to browse.

A selection of humorous comforting words;

1*** I accidentally broke my refrigerator door, so the cold air came out and it was getting colder and colder. It is estimated that it will not be repaired until next spring, so you must put on more clothes and keep warm during this time!

2*** Ah! I accidentally sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, keep it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

3*** Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

4*** The old couple went to take pictures. The photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, back light or full light?" Grandpa said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

It is said that you are cruel. You are lying on four seats in the theater. When someone calls you up, you only hum twice. The security guard came, and he said, friends are tough enough. Where are you? You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

6*** I am a bit vulgar and strange, a bit boring and cute! A little lazy, a little bad, a little smart, a little rogue! Say rogue is rogue, slick love! You want to love me, then love me.

7*** Ever heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

8*** was left by the teacher to do his homework. If he can't do it, he will copy others'. Then he went to the office to hand in his homework and saw the teacher say, "I copied it!" " .

9*** M: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear. That's how the ocean was formed. Woman: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

10*** I haven't heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed. I want to die. I used to cut the pulse with potato chips, start with tofu, jump off a building with a parachute and hang myself with noodles, but none of them died. Invite me to dinner, support me to death.

Humorous words of comfort:

1*** Dear you stole my love and my heart. I decided to go to court. What should I convict you of? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life!

2*** A teacher played mahjong all night. Seeing that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! " .

3*** ants are lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg, and friends ask you why? Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

4*** When I was a primary school student, I made a resolution at the general meeting of the whole school: I should learn from the revolutionary spirit of the Red Army climbing the snowy mountains and crossing the grassland and deprive me of the right to political speech for life!

5*** A certain gentleman was very nervous when he took the driver's license test that day. The examiner embarrassed him and asked him to park his car where there was a fire hydrant on the side of the road. This Curtis said nervously, "Report the fire hydrant. There is an examiner on the roadside. No parking!" " " .

I shot the arrow of love into your heart, and you became my captive. I've decided to sentence you to life imprisonment and keep you in my heart forever without bail.

I sent you this dime message to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this ten-dollar newsletter is my birthday present to you.

8*** Giraffe married a monkey, and a year later, Giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

9*** No matter where I am, thousands of miles away or within Wan Li, no matter when, ten years or a hundred years, I miss you deeply and love you. Although I deny the existence of all gods, I will always believe that you are a "new god!" "

10*** How many times have I told you, go to bed early at night and don't go out, but you just won't listen. No, I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

11* * You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli.

12*** Love empty feelings and wander around the street. People are empty, money is empty, single and bad karma is at work, business is crazy, this is empty and that is empty, only thinking about you is the easiest, I hope your troubles are empty.

13*** It's hot. I'll give you an electric fan and be happy by your side. Send you an air conditioner, only you cool others sigh; Send you an ice cream, your mouth is sweeter than your smile; I say hello to you and cook for you, so be there or be square!

14*** Small trees and grass make birds worry-free; On a small day, little people have no pressure; A little affection, a short message full of affection; Small words, small letters, small blessings branded: Happy whole spring!

15*** A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: hit it off. The boy asked the same question again and had to say sadly, can't you have a flat head?

16*** Director: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief: comrades are all tanned! Soldier: The leader is blacker! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

The teacher17 * * asked the Sports Commission to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him, "Go and tidy up all the girls in the class." The Sports Commission was a little goat and asked, "Which one?" The teacher said, "I know I want you to go!" " "

18*** A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

19*** A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

20*** The mother fly said angrily: Don't say such disgusting things when eating, eat while it's hot! !

Humorous words of comfort added:

1*** Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats monsters. But for me, happiness means that you are fattened, healthy and then slaughtered, haha, piggy.

The emperor said that although it was early summer, the climate was changeable, hot and cold, so he gave this order. Ai Qing needs to be kind to herself, add clothes in time to prevent colds, stay happy at any time, and don't disobey orders!

God said to me, if I don't bless you, the rooster will lay eggs, the sun will darken and the earth will stop immediately. In order to prevent chaos in the world, I have to wish you happiness all the time, every day.

4*** Dragon eighteen palms, crushing troubles; Nine yin bones and claws, driving away sorrow and leaving no residue; Gan Kun moved a lot and moved happiness into your heart; Let happiness always accompany you.

5*** I can't represent the party and the central government, nor can I represent the local government, but I can extend my greetings to the baskets on behalf of my family's vegetable gangs, stumps, melons and seedlings, and noodle soup: I wish you happy every day!

6*** Someone told me that it is the noblest thing to send text messages to the most talented, healthy and kind people; On second thought, I think this person must be yours! If you feel the same way, please give me one!

7*** In view of the fact that the current house price is only controlled, there is a room for rent! Address: Zhixin Community Building, Zhencheng Road, Friendship City; Lease period: 10000; Landlord: Your good friend, me! Welcome everyone to sublet!

It's late at night, the birds are asleep and the mosquitoes are out. I miss you and look forward to you. I'm doomed to insomnia tonight. The dream is lost, and the soul is haunted by it. Why not return the stolen heart?

I was on the side of the road and saw a penny. I was just about to bend down and pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Damn it, who threw up so round?

10*** Someone rode into the street, crossed an intersection and spread his arms. When the police saw it, they exclaimed, "Good palms!" Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!" "

11* * The miser was on a business trip. He was afraid that others would steal the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spit in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

12 * * When you wake up tomorrow, there is a mosquito lying on the pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you, which reads: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. You are so cheeky that I have no face to live in this world! Lord-forgive him! I killed myself.

13*** I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig!" " From now on, I will call you a pig. Finally one day, you can't help yelling at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

14*** In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation and shouted at the podium with sleeves rolled up: Attention, students! I'm going to transform.

15*** Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on a bench pulled by a gibbon. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit! Men may love you or not on impulse, but they certainly don't love you without impulse.

16*** Sleep is an art-no one can stop my pursuit of art!

17*** What is dry before it is put in, but wet when it is taken out, and it is memorable and enjoyable like a fairy? What are you thinking about? This is a tea bag.

18*** Funny SMS: If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

19*** Wukong, you clean the glass; Friar Sand, mop the floor. Bajie, the master knows your situation very well. After careful consideration, he decided to give you a chance to show it-after reading this newsletter, hurry to clean the girls' toilet.

20*** can't find a dinosaur, so use a lizard top.

Comfort words are humorous.