What are the praises for leaders?

In fact, there are three or six different types of compliments. Superior products are called "Zan", "Zan", "Zan" and "Zan", while inferior products are degraded to "Please", "Pat" and "Pat". There are several norms for a good compliment: ① Whether it is true or not, it must be convincing; (2) Don't wander, quietly, so that people can't notice it; 3 the smell is fragrant and pleasant, stay away from the bow; (4) innovative, not conventional; (5) The size is appropriate and the weight is moderate, which is exactly what you want. It can be seen that wearing a top hat seems simple, but in fact it is the most difficult. The difference between up and down lies in the taste, the mystery lies in the heart, and so on. Without good production technology and raising the cost too much, it is impossible to get rid of boring cheapness and vulgarity. Therefore, we must be careful and do what we can, otherwise it is very easy to be self-defeating 1. "Top hat" is a beautiful lie. It is not easy to praise others. The so-called "flattery" and "flattery". "Flattery" is a fake product processed by a high hat factory with poor technology, because it does not meet the standards of praise and compliment. The top hat is good, but the size must meet the specifications. It is unwise to overdo it. Praise attracts honor, and honor produces satisfaction, but when people find that you exaggerate, they often feel fooled. Therefore, I would rather not compliment than exaggerate boundless. Too shallow praise will ruin your reputation and taste at the same time. Flattery is a despicable behavior from the perspective of traditional communication or modern communication. A gentleman despises it, and it is inconvenient for a villain to use an open flame. Even the so-called "flatterer" or "flatterer" will sneer at this behavior. Kong Old Master Q has something to say: "Clever words make the color bright." During his lifetime, Mao Zedong repeatedly criticized the vulgar style of nitpicking and pandering. It can be seen that flatterers are heartless and vulgar In real communication, people who are attentive to others always have a certain speculative psychology. They lack self-confidence and inferiority. They can't win each other's appreciation, show their abilities and achieve their goals in a proper way, so they have to adopt a cost-effective way-flattery. How to make a top hat? Praise should be frank and decent, and must be directed at the other person's advantages. People always like flattery. Even if you know that the other person is flattering, you will inevitably be complacent. This is the weakness of human nature. In other words, a person who is praised by others will never feel disgusted unless the other person says too much. The first condition of flattering others is to have a sincere heart and a serious attitude. Words can reflect a person's psychology, so a rash attitude can easily be seen through by the other person, resulting in unpleasant feelings. It is better to praise behind. One of Roosevelt's adjutants, named Bud, once had an excellent and beneficial opinion on praise and compliment: it is more effective to praise others' advantages behind their backs than to praise them in person. This is the supreme skill. Praising others behind their backs is the most pleasing and effective way. Will we be unhappy if someone tells us that someone has said a lot of nice things about us behind our backs? This kind of praise, if told to us in front of us, may make us feel false or suspect that he is insincere. Why is it pleasant to hear indirectly? Because that's a compliment. Bismarck, Germany's bloody prime minister, praised his subordinates in a planned way in order to win over a subordinate who was hostile to him. He knew that those people would tell their subordinates what he said after listening to it. Don't wear hats everywhere like nouveau riche spend money. If you don't know, you'd better not delve into it yet. You can't go any further until you know what kind of praise he likes. Most importantly, don't compliment others casually, some people don't buy it. A top hat is a beautiful lie. First of all, people should be willing to believe and accept, and can't say that stupid children are as outrageous as geniuses. Secondly, we should be beautiful and elegant, and we should not be vulgar and condescending, ruin ourselves and turn others off; And it's not too white, too much, too characteristic, too thoughtless. The thief saw the dog passing by and kept throwing him a small piece of bread. The dog said to the thief, "get out, you guy!" " Your kindness scares me. "The thief is a disgrace to flatterer, even the dog can't cheat him. 2. Don't blatantly please others. When The Twenty-four History of Qing Dynasty was published, Qianlong attached great importance to it and often personally checked it. Every school makes a mistake and thinks it is a big deal, and I am very happy. And groan and other ministers, in order to cater to this kind of psychology of Qianlong, deliberately copied a few typos in obvious places in the copied manuscript for Qianlong to correct. This is a wonderful method, which shows that Gan Long is more knowledgeable and can get better results than flattering him to his face. The manuscript revised by the emperor can no longer be moved by others, but there are also places that can't be changed by Qianlong, so these mistakes have been handed down. There are often mistakes in the version of the temple fair we see today, and many of them are formed in this way. And always choose the right way to please Qianlong. He also made a careful observation and in-depth study of Gan Long's temperament and habits, especially his temper, likes and dislikes. Often it is what Qianlong wants, and Qianlong thinks about it before he opens his mouth. He also arranged some things that Qianlong did not consider well, so he was very popular with Qianlong. The moaning mani is high at two points: first, know yourself and know yourself, and win every battle; The second is to make the other person feel comfortable without knowing it, because he did it in obscurity and without trace. If a person's knowledge, wit, status, etc. To a certain extent, compliments can be detailed and vivid. It's just that it can't be called "flattery" anymore, it should be called humility. Mr. Qian Zhongshu is a model of genius. One winter, he visited Japan and gave an impromptu speech at the symposium of literature professors at Waseda University. The preface is: giving lectures in Japan is a bold move. Even if a China scholar talks about his local knowledge, he must be bold, though he doesn't have to be. The reason is clear and simple. Japanese outstanding research on all aspects of China culture is recognized by the world. China scholars who are familiar with Japanese also admire and humbly adopt your achievements, knowing that it is not easy to speak a new thing that is worthy of your advice. I am illiterate in Japan. Facing the rich treasure house of Sinology or Sinology in your country, I am like a poor bachelor who doesn't know the number lock and has no broadcasting tools. I have to be dumbfounded when I look at the big safe. However, blind ignorance is often the source of courage. There is an Italian proverb that jokes people, saying, "He invented the rain mulberry. "It is said that one day, a bumpkin from a remote place was walking on the road, and suddenly it rained lightly. He happened to be holding a stick and a piece of cloth, and he reacted quickly. He propped up the cloth and covered his head so that he didn't get soaked and went home. While appreciating himself, he also feels that he has made contributions to mankind and should be made public. He got wind of an invention patent office in the city and rushed into the city with sticks and cloth. Go to the TV station to report and perform his new invention. The staff in the bureau smiled and took out an umbrella for him to take a closer look. Today, I am like that country bumpkin who went to the registration office. I am ignorant and have never seen rain. However, when I can't find shelter under the roof, self-reliance is an effective way. This preface actually talks about two levels. First of all, Chinese people dare not take the study of Japanese Sinology lightly. Even if Japanese experts talk about China in Japan, they should make the best estimate of the level of the audience. Later, he said that he was unfamiliar with Japanese and had no capital except courage. However, self-mockery is a good way to praise others. 3. Praise must be accurate. What kind of praise is most effective for people who meet for the first time? In my opinion, it's best to avoid taking the other person's character or personality as the object to praise his past achievements, behaviors or possessions and other tangible things. If you praise the other person "You are really a good person", even if it is from the heart, it is easy for the other person to say "How do you know that I am a good person, when we first met? "If you praise past achievements or behaviors, the situation is different. Praising this fact has nothing to do with the depth of friendship, and it is easier for the other party to accept it. In other words, instead of praising each other directly, we praise things related to each other. This indirect flattery is more effective at first meeting. If the other person is a woman, her clothes and decorations will be the best targets for indirect flattery. I get along well with many friends' families, among which the friendship with a lady is even deeper than that with her husband. Of course, our relationship will never lead to misunderstanding. Originally, I only knew her husband, so how did I become a friend of her family? The reason is a casual remark I made at the party when I first met her. At that time, I was introduced to this friend's wife. Because there was no suitable topic at that time, I said, "This pendant you are wearing is very rare and special" in an attempt to cover up the embarrassment at that time. I said this sentence completely unintentionally. Because I know nothing about women's decoration. Surprisingly, this pendant is really special and can only be bought in Notre Dame de Paris. This is her favorite thing. This casual remark reminded my wife of all kinds of past events about pendants, and we became good friends from then on. It is not easy to praise others properly. Improper praise will be rejected. In order to make the other party outspoken, we must find out what the other party is proud of and likes to be praised as soon as possible, and then praise it, that is, praise the other party's pride. Before you are sure what the other person is most proud of, you'd better not praise at will to avoid boredom. Just imagine, a woman who is worried about losing weight, how can she feel sincerely happy when she is praised as slim and slender by others? I have a close editor friend who looks like a famous actor. Whenever I go to a restaurant with him and meet his waitress for the first time, I will say to him, "Hey! You really look like a movie star! " Indeed, his appearance and temperament are very similar to that actor. Generally speaking, it is a compliment to say that someone looks like a famous actor. People who are praised are usually not unhappy, but my friend's reaction is different. After listening to the flattery of the waitress, He, who was not fond of talking, became even more silent. The waitress may have said those words with half sincerity and half flattery, but the other party ignored them, and they just showed surprise. But this friend's reaction is not surprising at all, because the compliment of the waitress is not legal at all. He knows his shortcoming, that is, he tends to give the impression of indifference. The movie star played a ruthless role on the screen. So, if he looks like a movie star, it's not a compliment, but a clear indication of his shortcomings. In addition, information obtained from third parties sometimes plays an important role in meeting each other for the first time. Therefore, using the information obtained to praise each other in person, of course, is also for your own initiative. However, if you relay these information and rumors directly to each other, I am afraid you will only be despised. Because the rumor about him flying all over the street is a recognized reputation for him. He was tired of listening, even numb. If you bring up the past again, the other person may laugh it off on the surface, but he is very annoyed inside, and even say, "Look! Here we go again! The same old story! " And beat you into the ranks of many mediocre people he once knew. Rumors about the other party, even if they are new to you, should avoid these trite compliments and praise his little-known side. Just like the general in the famous writer Yukio Mishima's book (immoral education speech), he was very happy when he was praised for his beautiful beard, but he didn't take the praise about his fighting style to heart. This kind of psychology belongs to everyone. Probably many people have praised the general's bravery and resourceful military ability, but as a soldier, no matter how much he praises in this respect, it is only the same tune in the hymn, which will not make him feel self-expanding. However, if you praise his military talent, it is equivalent to adding a new item to his praise, and he will feel extremely satisfied. 4. People who flatter others with sweet words are not necessarily hot, but they will always make each other proud or be carried away by sweet words. Sometimes, when a person does something, he is not sure whether it is right or wrong. If someone takes the opportunity to contribute a few good words, you will get carried away, have a feeling of "winning my heart" and can't help but sigh that "only you understand me". Besides, there are too few people who can "smell it and be happy" at all times and in all countries, but too many people are happy when they hear compliments from others. The founder of "smell it and be happy" may not really be able to "smell it and be happy". In this social and psychological environment, although it is well known that most flatterers are insincere and may even have ulterior motives, they are still willing or willing to listen and indulge in narcissism. This is also called "one pot needs to be filled, and one needs to be filled." This is probably the main reason why flattery is both hateful and attentive. In view of people's psychology, waitresses in restaurants and dance halls treat the guests who come to join in, saying "boss" on the left and "chairman" on the right, which has boosted the hearts of many men. Although the title in their mouth is professional flattery, it still makes the recipients feel superior, as if they are really bosses and chairmen. A wage earner suddenly becomes a boss, and his happiness is self-evident, even if it is short-lived, he is satisfied. But for a long time, we used to measure people like this: people who love praise are hypocritical; People who are picky are sincere. The latter is valuable, so there are idioms such as "glad to hear it" and "friendship of attacking mistakes". We are so afraid of being cheated that we are nervous and suspicious when we hear our compliments. At the same time, be careful not to praise others easily, so as not to leave a bad impression of "sweet mouth". Compliments are usually well-intentioned, not meant to kill you. Even praise is mostly kind, and the effect is usually good. A small crooked-neck tree, if you praise its beauty, it will never be blind and arrogant, but will try its best to straighten up. A lame child, you say: ah, what a beautiful child (this is obviously not true)! Children will never be so dizzy, thinking that the more lame they are, the more beautiful they are. On the contrary, he will redouble his efforts to correct himself. Instead, say something practical when you meet: you sick child! He may be paralyzed. The more children boast, the smarter they are! Try it if you don't believe me. Children are like this, and so are adults. In a TV series, the actors perform freely. I asked the director for tips, and the director said, "Take one, and I said," OK! " "Whether it's good or not, I will say" good "in surprise and then explain it in detail. I've been taught a lot, and I agree with you. We also have a saying: it is warm in winter and cold in June. I don't think this kind word refers to severe advice, but mainly to praise. You praised a person, such as "your clothes are really nice!" " "If the person praised is a teacher, his students will get more kind smiles from the teacher that day; If he were a doctor, his patients would be blessed that day. 5. A key opens a lock. Maybe you haven't noticed that compliment is not only a good lubricant in life, but also a detoxification agent between people. Many embarrassing things can be solved with it. Of course, you should also pay attention to "what song to sing on what mountain" and what key to use to open the lock. (1) opposite-sex entanglement. This is a problem that puzzles many women. In today's society, young women have more and more contact with men in their lives and work, which will naturally make some men moved and have wild ideas. How to make men give up their ideas without affecting their relationship is a difficult problem for young women. We can compliment each other first and give each other a loud title in the conversation, so it is difficult for the other party to do anything wrong under the reputation. As the saying goes, "everyone loves beauty." "You are young and beautiful, and others want to be close to you. You can't just call them' goat'. It is better to put a top hat on him and force him to dispel evil thoughts. There is an outstanding woman who is in charge of product sales planning in a company. After negotiating with the manager of a company, the manager quietly invited her: "Miss, will you accompany me to have supper at night?" "She must keep the appointment on time. After the meeting, the manager was overjoyed and affectionate. The two chatted while eating. The lady tried her best to persuade the manager to drink, endlessly introduced him to the company's development plan, and praised the manager from time to time, saying that he was a cultured, temperamental, trustworthy and respectable modern entrepreneur. The manager is quite proud and pretends to be modest: "You flatter me. "Finally, two people danced together. When he left, the manager took the woman's hand and said solemnly, "You are a self-respecting woman! I will always remember your perfect girl image. "2 self-relief. That is to say, after saying the wrong thing, you can skillfully compliment each other and achieve the goal of self-liberation. Anyone will hate bad words and never refuse praise. Moderate praise will not only warm each other's hearts, but also help them get rid of the dilemma of language mistakes. Why not? A tall, thin young lady bought a new coat with a waist clip and excitedly invited her girlfriend to taste it. When his girlfriend saw that her new dress looked more like a washboard, she couldn't help but blurt out, "This dress doesn't suit you." The other party suddenly sank like water. When his girlfriend saw this scene, she blamed herself and said happily, "A slim figure like you will look more elegant and natural if you wear clothes that are loose and fat to your knees. "Those short and fat people can't wear this temperament. "Upon hearing this, the young lady immediately turned anger into joy. The girlfriend's words not only subtly imply that this dress is not suitable for her figure, but also sincerely point out its clothing selection standard. At the same time, it gently points out the characteristics of its figure with beautiful words such as slim and slender, and compares it with stout people to take care of each other's self-esteem. A seemingly flattering sentence actually contains infinite mystery, so it seems euphemistic and subtle, and skillfully solves the problem for itself. (3) stop arguing. Quarrel is inevitable when people get along with each other, and lovers are no exception. In this regard, once there is a dispute, even if you think that your side is right, you should avoid too much criticism and accusation. At this time, the best way is to use teasing and humorous words to douse each other's anger and achieve the effect of dispelling doubts and doubts. A wife with a heavy vanity pestered her husband to buy an expensive flowered hat when the husband and wife were discussing attending a friend's wedding. At this time, the husband and wife were in financial crisis, and the husband naturally refused to agree to spend the money. During the quarrel, the wife said angrily, "Xiao Xi and Xiao Jin's lover are so generous that they bought this kind of flower hat for their wife long ago, unlike you!" " Husband doesn't want to argue, deliberately exaggerating: "But are they as beautiful as you?" I bet they are as beautiful as you, and they don't need to buy hats to decorate them at all, do they? "When his wife heard the humorous compliment, she turned anger into laughter and an argument stopped. 4 deal with proud people. Arrogant people value self-image and feel good about themselves. When dealing with them, we might as well take our favorite way to give realistic praise to their achievements, knowledge and talents, so that their honor and self-esteem can be satisfied. This can shorten the distance psychologically and influence their attitude. For example, there is a proud director who is difficult for strangers to get close to, and his stiff and indifferent face is often daunting. An out-of-town shop assistant heard of his temper and threw a cigarette with a smile as soon as they met. He said: "Director, as soon as I entered the door, someone told me that the director is a frank person, conscientious and compassionate, and takes special care of outsiders. I am extremely happy to hear that. I like to be happy with such leaders! " The director immediately put a smile on his face, and then got down to business. Sure enough. The clerk's success benefited from the first few compliments. In this way, the other party is embarrassed to treat a person who compliments and respects himself coldly, which looks ugly. Naturally, it will become amiable under the psychological control of maintaining self-image. Pay attention to two points when using compliments: First, seek truth from facts. The content of praise is not out of nothing, but true, and the other party will be happy. If you flatter Mani, sober and arrogant people will regard him as a villain and despise him even more. The second is to make enough praise. Praise here is only a means to change the attitude of arrogant people and a prelude to communication. If you praise blindly, but don't get to the point in time, it will lose its meaning. ⑤ Clever accusation. At the fashion counter of a department store, for a time, guests wrote books accusing the salesgirl of poor service attitude. The counter director's solution is really different and the effect is amazing. Instead of blaming the salesgirls, he praised them. He said to the girl named by the guests, "Some guests praised your kind service and hope to continue to work hard in the future." "Some guests say you are very polite. "As a result, their hospitality attitude has changed greatly, and they are greeted with smiles for any guests and their business is booming. This is really an educational method to master women's psychology skillfully. Generally speaking, women are accused of "what shortcomings do you want to get rid of", and even feel that all their personalities have been denied, and it is easy to resist or cry. However, with a little praise, they are full of energy and become very active. If you want to correct a woman's shortcomings, it is very important to praise her advantages, not to point them out directly. In this way, they give full play to their advantages and get rid of their shortcomings. In a word, compliment is a master key with complete models, multiple uses and unparalleled efficacy. 6. Under the top hat, there are differences between men and women. When talking about his work experience, a model conductor has one characteristic. She often unconsciously points out whether she is a male passenger or a female passenger. In fact, it is not accidental to study this practice. Please look at the following clip: once, a passenger got on the bus with an already super-high child. I said, "Your child is tall enough. It's time to buy tickets. " The passenger said inexplicably, "The child hasn't gone to school yet, so buy a ticket? "I said to him in humorous language," Aren't you happy that your child has grown so tall and developed so well before school? "As soon as I said this, the passengers happily bought another ticket. Another time, after I finished the propaganda language of giving up my seat in the car, a lesbian sitting at the ticket counter stood up and offered her seat to a male passenger with a child in her arms. As soon as she sat down, she was too busy coaxing the children to say thank you. The female passenger who gave her seat suddenly looked at him with an unhappy face. Seeing this scene, I quickly said to the child, "thank you, aunt, little friend." There are so many people, and my aunt will give you her seat if she is so tired. How kind of you! Say it quickly! " The male passenger with a baby in his arms was suddenly surprised and seemed to understand something. He said to the lesbian who gave up her seat, "Thank you, I'm really sorry. I really don't know what to do when the baby cries. Thank you very much. " With a smile on her face, the female passenger said, "You're welcome. "Passengers with children, both men and women, will have the same reaction, that is, empathy, without specifying gender; However, the sex is stipulated in the seat-giving event, and things cannot be established after the gender exchange: female passengers generally do not forget to thank, while men generally do not get angry because the other party does not thank. As far as vanity closely related to wearing a top hat is concerned, there are certain differences between men and women. Men are proud and vain, mostly in pursuit of fame, showing off their abilities, and showing their personality to show the image of smart and capable people, while women are deliberately pursuing appearance and clothes or accompanying Prince Charming to show their charm; Men are proud and vain, and sometimes even surprisingly frank, while women are always secretive and shy, "hiding half their faces in front of us behind the guitar"; Women still have some reservations about face and vanity, while men go all out to pursue face, as if his purpose in life is face; Men can fight for face, powerful people can even make an example and even wage war, while women will yell or howl at home for face. By the way, I just want you to know that a man's face must not be hurt or destroyed, otherwise everything will be ruined-friendship will be interrupted, love will fail, business will fail, promotion will be hopeless, and titles will be ruined. Therefore, when praising the opposite sex, we must pay attention to skills, otherwise a little carelessness will lead to unnecessary misunderstanding. If you meet for the first time, your compliment may be interpreted as too explicit flattery or leave a vulgar and disgusting impression, and you can't convey your meaning correctly to the other party. I think it's a good idea to use vague compliments when meeting the opposite sex for the first time. Because people will probably understand ambiguity well. For women, we should also pay attention to the following situations: ① When you work overtime, if you say "you can go back" to the female staff, you will not please them, but will easily make them think that you look down on her. Every time the business section chief of an automobile factory sees me, he will complain: "Girls are so unpredictable that they cry when scolded, but praising one will offend other girls and really cause trouble." "Recently, he quietly said to two female employees who don't have to stay to work overtime:" You can go back. "Unexpectedly, the other party said unhappily," Everyone else has stayed. Why should we go back? "It seems that his kindness seems to be regarded as contempt by them. The harder a woman works, the more she hates being discriminated against. In this case, don't just say, "You can go back. "It's best to say in a comforting tone," You work hard every day. You can go back early today. "If you are so smart, then the other party will thank you for your kindness and go home happily. Never praise other women in front of them. Some people say, "The enemy of a woman is the woman herself. "For women, all other women are eternal enemies. It is said that the male teacher in a girls' school in the city always walks at the same speed in class. If he stops casually, the whole class thinks the teacher is interested in the girl next to him. Some people may think it's ridiculous, but it's actually a male teacher who resigned because he was bored. " Men are jealous, too. "Maybe women refute the teacher's standing by and think that" the teacher is interested in me ",which is a unique self-centered concept of women. There is no so-called free and easy state of women in the relationship between men and women, that is, there is no so-called neutral state. For example, when couples go shopping together, the man looks at the passing beauty and says, "Wow! What a beautiful girl. "Generally speaking, women will be angry and will ignore him. 3 women's complaints about their families or children should not be taken as flattering. When a woman talks with people, it is easy to talk about her children and family, and most of these words are said in a complaining way. For example, "My son is funny, which is really worrying. If you accidentally interrupt and say, "Yes! That kid knows. "The other party must be furious, and the reason is clear. Women's complaints, after careful scrutiny, are not difficult to find such expectations: "My son is just playing. If this is changed, no matter what the grade is. In any case, there will be great progress. " It may even be to show off: "My son is smart, just for fun. "As for the complaint against Mr. Wang, it can be said that it is completely showing off." Playing golf every week and not even at home on Sunday, he really should think about his children a little. In other words, she wants to show off: "My husband is busy socializing and playing golf with guests, which is a phenomenon of successful career. "I'm just embarrassed to show off directly, so I said it in a complaining way. Don't go along with such complaints. It's smart to deny something that doesn't exist and let her relax. Editor's reminder: Please pay attention to check whether the article ""has pagination content.