What is the most special experience in love?

So far, I have had four emotional experiences, and the deepest impression is the third time, when I met my sophomore. At that time, the school held a spring photography competition, and I took a fancy to his works. At that time, I asked the person in charge of the activity for the contact information of the other party, and they said that they should protect each other's privacy. Later, I gave my contact information and asked them to tell him for me. Later I found out that I knew him before. After chatting for a while, we established a relationship and said nothing to each other. He is a junior.

During my internship, his father just died. We managed to stay with him. It happened that a classmate had been chasing him. I didn't tell him when I came back from my internship. My classmates and I have dinner at the night market. If he didn't deny it, we broke up. Sophomore began the first relationship in life. We have a good relationship. We are always together, doing our own thing. I'm like each other's shadows. We share each other's happiness every day, hoping to leave the best for each other. No matter what problems we encounter, we can solve them easily. But I have no confidence in myself, and I am afraid that the other party will find someone better than me and leave me. I don't doubt my girlfriend I always thought the other person would change his mind because of his suspicious behavior. Maybe I lack confidence in our relationship. For this reason, I will lose my temper with my girlfriend for a long time, complain that my girlfriend doesn't love me enough, and over-express my emotions to the other party, but my girlfriend doesn't care but doesn't want to explain to me. In this way, on a magnificent night, I broke up with my girlfriend.

My girlfriend asked me why I broke up, and I told her all my things and thoughts. I was very excited at that time, like a person who had been oppressed for a long time waiting for the outbreak of the epidemic. Knowing the reason, she was silent, but I still chose to break up. I don't know if I didn't have the courage to face it or what, but I put all the mistakes on the other side. Maybe love is like this. I love each other very much, but I have to leave to save face. I wanted to make a scene when I was quiet for a long time, but this scene became the fuse of our emotional breakdown.