Short script for 2-person comedy sketch. It should be short.

The text is as follows:

"Blind Date"

Scene

Table No. 8 of Liyuan Hotel.

Character

A (male, owner of a small restaurant, entrepreneur who is a country boy).

B (male, older literary and artistic young man).

Script:

A appeared on the stage and said the opening remarks: "My name is Liu Laoqi. I am thirty-one this year. I am single and have not married yet. My mother at home is worried and urges me. Let's look for it quickly. My second aunt's daughter-in-law, her third uncle's nephew, introduced me to a date, and they arranged a blind date here. The token was a rose for each person. I heard that the other person's beauty was unparalleled in the world. Oops. I'm so excited. "Look back and look directly above (the door number outside the hotel)

A: "The Liyuan Hotel is right here."

Go in and go to No. 8. at the table. Seeing no one, he said, "Hey, I'm early, haha." He pulled up a chair and sat down, looked at his watch, waited anxiously, and picked up the menu to browse through it.

B came on the stage and said the opening remarks while taking the stage: "Autumn turns to winter and spring comes, but I am busy going on blind dates. In order to go to the front line, I wait for good news at my parents' home. Seeing that I am one year older, my daughter My friend is still missing; Xiao Penyu, a post-90s generation in our workplace, is getting engaged during the Spring Festival. I’m Alexander! It’s just after New Year’s Day, and I’m forced to go to war again. Last year, I went on more than 300 blind dates without success. I don’t know. What's the result this time? "Go to the front of the hotel and look at the door number.

"Here we are, haha, let's see if the other party is here first." He opened the door glass and looked inside. "Hey, there is someone, why does he look like a man~~~"

At this time, the phone rang, and B picked up the phone: "Hey, mother. Ah, yes, I just arrived and haven't entered the house yet. Is there anyone at table 8? (Looking back at Person A) Oh, it’s a little bit awkward what he looks like, the main thing is that he’s a man. ~~What? How could I be gay? It's still early and the other lesbian hasn't come yet. "

B. After entering the room and standing next to table No. 8, A looked up at B, who smiled awkwardly.

A lowers his head and continues to read the menu. After a moment of silence, B asked A cautiously: "Brother, are you ready to eat?"

A nodded: "Yeah",

B asked again: "Brother, have you finished eating?" ?"

A: "I haven't eaten yet. What's wrong?"

B smiled awkwardly and said, "Brother, can I sit down? I'll wait for you." Just leave."

A: "Okay, sit down."

B sat down carefully, smiled at A, and took out a rose from his inner pocket. Put it on the table.

A was surprised when he saw the rose. He stood up and walked aside and said to himself: "Rose? Oh my god, there seems to be something wrong." He walked to the table and asked B: "Oh, you, Are you on a blind date?"

B looked at A blankly: "Yes, how did you know?"

A walked aside in panic.

B said in confusion: "Why is this person so sneaky?"

A said to himself: "Oh my God, this guy is really unparalleled in appearance. ! How can this be done~~~ No, I have to confirm again."

A walked to the table and asked B: "I said, let me ask you something, you, are you not a lady? "

B said: "What are you talking about? Can't you see in his eyes? He is a real man!"

A is even more frightened. Spread out on the seat.

After B finished speaking, he sat down angrily, crossed his legs, and crossed his hands on his chest.

A said to B with a look of embarrassment: "Well, brother, don't be angry if I say something. Actually, I still want to find a girl, and we are not suitable!"

B turned around with a confused look on his face and said, "What do you mean? Are you here for a blind date too?"

A nodded: "Yes!"

"Haha..." B laughed, "Brother, you must have misunderstood. The person I went on a blind date with is a lesbian. We made an appointment to meet at this table."

"Oh, haha, that's what happened. Son! This is such a coincidence. I also made an appointment with this table and agreed that each of us would get a rose. Someone else helped us contact each other. We didn’t know anything about each other. I watched you get the rose. I thought it was you, hehe, I misunderstood, hehe, hehehe."

B: "Hehe".

A said: "You said that this table was chosen by chance. They are all number eight, haha."

B: "That's right, the number must be eight, find a partner You can make a fortune!"

A: "Haha, this guy talks quite funny.

Look, big brother, you’re not too young, right? No target yet? "

B: "Isn't it? Brother, let me tell you, many girls nowadays are very materialistic. Having a car and a house is the bottom line, no money; as long as you feed from the government, even if you are 250; If you don’t have money and don’t show up to your peers, there will be nothing wrong with a rich old man! "

A: "Oh brother, you summed it up very insightfully! "

B: "Oh~~~ Lesbians have said that there are more than 20 million unmarried men in China than unmarried women, and their market space is very vast. This is called the relationship between supply and demand that determines the value of goods. "

A: "There is nothing we can do about it. Every family rarely gives birth to a son. In our country, the ratio of men to women is very different. Gautama Buddha laughed haha; the Eastern Heavenly Kingdom produces bachelors. Son, don’t worry about no one spreading the Dharma. "

B: "Haha, brother is also very humorous! Brother, why do you want to go on a blind date with such good conditions? "

A: "Hey, isn't this still naked? My family is worried, so my relatives will introduce it to me. "

B: "Brother, what do you do? "

A: "I run a restaurant. "

B: "Oh, how is business? "

A said helplessly: "What's the matter? It's not easy to do anything these days, especially opening a restaurant. The food safety in the country is not very good now, and people like us who do catering are not very good. It's a hundred worries. "

Yi consoled him: "As long as you are honest, brother, your business will be prosperous! "

A: "I do business as expected, but I am also a victim. I bought a few bags of ecological rice in the supermarket last time, which was several times more expensive than the rice we usually eat. "

B: "Oh, today's merchants just like to come up with concepts. They don't say whether the product is good or not, but they first charge the price. "

A: "I'm just thinking about it. It's a good thing. Customers can say it's good after eating it, but in the end they eat bugs. "

B: "Then we need to ask them for an explanation. "

A: "Later I called their customer service, guess what they said? "

B: "What did they say? "

A: "The customer service said, ecological rice, ecological rice, do you know what ecology is? Ecology allows you to eat a biological chain in a bag of rice! How irritating you say~~~".

B: "Then you go and sue him. "

A: "What are you suing for? It's just for a few bags of rice, which isn't even enough for legal fees." "

B: "That's true."

A: "I'll think about it later. Nowadays, every business has its own characteristics. I also want to add some unique projects." superior. I heard that there is a human body called Shengdi, and it looks very unique to me. "

B: "Can that be fixed? That's illegal! "

A: "That's not possible. It's illegal for us to do what you and I did. The girls we groomed were all wearing clothes, much more than the girls who took the photo album. "

B: "How is your business doing? "

A: "That guy is always popular. Please calm down and let the old men come to eat. I wish I could have three meals a day with him." But then things got bad. "

B: "What's going on? "

A: "Later on, our deputy county magistrate also came every day. "

B: "Then what happened? Is he making an idle statement? "

A: "That's not true. We have money in our county, so I don't feel bad if he spends public money. It was only later that his wife found out. "

B: "Does his wife know how big of a deal this could be? "

A: "Brother, you don't know. Our deputy county magistrate's wife is the county magistrate. When she found out, someone from the Health Inspection Institute came the next day and said I was unqualified. . "

B: "Where do you say you are unqualified? "

A: "People say there are regulations that state that tableware must be scalded in boiling water~~~, good guy, when the girl in the store heard this, she ran home with sashimi hanging on her body~ ~~".

B: "Hahahaha, brother, you can really handle it~~~".

At this time, B's phone rang.

B : "Hi, hello. It's me, hello hello. I've been here a long time ago. Where are you? Are you here too? I didn't see you? What? Liyuan Hotel? South Sixth Ring Road? Oh, mother, I'm at the North Fifth Ring Road. Just wait, I'll rush over right away! "

B hung up the phone and said to A: "Oh, I heard Liyuan became Liyuan, and I went to the South Sixth Ring Road to the North Fifth Ring Road. Brother, please wait slowly, I have to leave quickly. "After that, get off the stage.

A: "Okay, then you should leave quickly. Don't be anxious and pay attention to your safety. "

A looked at his watch and said to himself: "It's too late, why hasn't my guy come yet? Could it be that I made a mistake? Please call and ask. "

A dialed the mobile phone: "Hello, hello, Xiaoli? It's too late, why haven't you come yet? What? Did you see me on a blind date with a guy? Oh, sister, don’t get me wrong, we are on a blind date, it’s not what you think. Hello, hello? Oh my God, I hung up, I misunderstood~~~What's wrong with this?".

A hung up the phone and walked out, shouting as he walked: "Brother, please walk slowly, my sister misunderstood us, Please help me explain! "Said and walked off the stage.