The loneliness of a bird without feet

I think it may be that at this time, I am the only one in the empty room, as if I should do something, and as if I don't need to do anything. I had to look at my mobile phone in a daze, look around, and then look at my feet resting on the small bench. My toenails are a little long. I think it's time to take a bath, soak my feet and cut my nails, but I'm inexplicably tired and lazy. I should get up instead of getting up. I'm a little overwhelmed.

This is loneliness.

I think this should be regarded as a kind of non-freedom after being too free. You have too much time at your disposal, and time is not precious. I feel lonely only because I am too free.

We always wander between freedom and bondage unconsciously, hoping to balance them and care about them, but not restricting freedom.

But can you really have your cake and eat it? It's hard.

I have a friend who works in Taobao. Her professional battlefield is in her hometown, and she lives with her parents and brothers. Of course, loneliness is gone, but freedom is relatively less. She has many things to take care of, such as taking care of her parents' lives and their mood. Don't say or do things at will, but control time, attitude and emotions. She told me that she was actually very tired, and she was taken care of at home, with more care and more constraints. She said that she envied my freedom and did whatever she wanted. She is very self-centered.

Yes, my freedom started from a very young age.

My parents seldom pay attention to me, so I have more freedom and less concern. I have been independent since I was a child, and I am independent in my thoughts and actions.

Give an example of how free I was when I was a child. I heard that girls are locked in boudoir and go upstairs after dark, but I'm not. I was surprised when I heard that the girls in our class went upstairs after dark. Other children need to ask for instructions when going out. I don't have to do this. I just need to make my own decisions. Do it if it's appropriate, and don't do it if it's not appropriate. But independence in freedom also means lack of attention, lack of being loved, lack of yearning, and naturally envy what others have.

My friend said that she envied my freedom, so I didn't envy her being cared for and taken care of. But I know that if she becomes me, she will not be happy. If I become her, I will be very painful. Envy doesn't mean it suits you. Maybe we can exchange identities for a few days, but it is definitely not suitable for each other.

Over the years, she has been used to company, and I have been used to independence. If she wants to be my freedom, I want to be her concern. Maybe we have to adapt for so many years.

At least in the early stage, I definitely didn't adapt, and I envied making up for the emptiness, but I should start to feel uncomfortable when I was deprived of the original.

I think it is a kind of loneliness when she envies me and I yearn for her. You can't do it if you want to. It's just a sadness in a faint sigh.

Have you ever heard of a bird without feet? It can only fly and fly until it dies.

This is Leslie Cheung punk's description of himself.

I think it may apply to everyone. We are all birds without feet and can only fly all the time.

Some are footless birds without freedom, who want to stay for freedom, and some are footless birds without love, who stop for love, but what can they do? If they can't stop, it means death. Giving up is better than dying, so they keep flying.

We also yearn for both, but we can't stop, we can only fly, because we have no feet and are destined to stay.

So they fly alone,

Until I met another footless bird with the same frequency as me.