Slowly sipping coffee and reading Ailing’s prose

The first time I read Zhang Ailing, I read her prose. At that age when I didn’t understand much, I couldn’t tell what was behind the article. I only remember her delicate style of writing and beautiful sentences, which flowed slowly and penetrated into the bone marrow; it was the hazy bourgeoisie of old Shanghai, like that cup of coffee, spreading out and filling the whole mood. Because at that age, what I loved most were romance novels by Cen Kailun, Qiong Yao, and Yi Shu. Every day, cousins ??fell in love with each other, or a rich man fell in love with a poor girl, or he screamed "I love you" from the bottom of his heart. Or the promise of each other to love you for ten thousand years. In short, every story is so beautiful, every love is so pure, noble, and unforgettable; romantic love scenes come to mind one after another. Every time I finish reading one, I am eager to change to another. , exchange with classmates or save money to buy food. At an age full of expectations for love, they also imagine that fairy tales will be performed around them. If such an ignorant young man comes out to express his love, he will feel that he is in a drama, living in darkness, and after all, he has no hope of dreamy love. . I don’t understand Zhang Ailing, nor am I influenced by her views on love, because the love ending she describes is not that the princess and the prince finally live happily together, but that they have gone through many hardships and are not together, or are twisted. Unfavorable fate and the helplessness and resistance to love. Her only love is also reflected in the work: meeting the person you want to meet among millions of people, in the endless wilderness of time for millions of years, neither a step too early nor a step too late, I just happened to catch up, so there was nothing else to say, except to ask softly: "Oh, are you here too?" With the longing for love, I looked forward to moving forward forever.

Read Zhang Ailing again, and sigh with emotion at that famous saying: Be famous as early as possible... Zhang Ailing wrote this sentence when "Legend" was republished. She "got carried away" for a moment, which showed that the little girl His true nature revealed some of his little thoughts and whispers. "I have always thought like this: When my book is published, I will go to every newsstand and have a look... I will ask the news vendor, pretending to be irrelevant: 'Are the sales good? - It's too expensive. It’s so expensive, will anyone really buy it?” Then, Zhang Ailing wrote: “Oh, you have to be famous early! If it comes too late, the happiness will not be so good.” She also wrote that she had been published in the school magazine. When I read the article, I would read it over and over again like crazy, but now I am not so excited. Her state of mind is actually most in line with the situation when I have just entered the early stage of society, getting ready to go, looking forward to a better life, exploring cautiously and aggressively, which is the manifestation of our age. The "madness" in my heart always encounters the cold water of reality. Comfort yourself: it’s early, it’s early! Otherwise you will regret it. Perhaps we have misunderstood Zhang Ailing, but her words have influenced the young people of the next generation. They have almost become a motto that has nourished generations of people. Even the literary world that needs calmness the most, they all use "become famous as early as possible" As the only criterion for action, lest I waste a lot of my youth and talents, not to mention my long accumulation, young writers have emerged, one is younger than the other, Han Han and those babies have quickly occupied the public's attention overnight, I think Do you know if everyone has Zhang Ailing’s talents? When Zhang Ailing said this, she actually meant it not only literally, but also had something to do with the background of the times. We know that Zhang Ailing is actually not very firm in her political stance. She is a writer who focuses more on writing, and hopes to make money through publishing books to satisfy her emotional and tasteful life. Times were changing rapidly at that time, and she also hoped to succeed as soon as possible within a stable period, otherwise her personal reputation would easily be overwhelmed by the waves of the times. We cannot understand everything one-sidedly. What I agree more is to work hard as early as possible. Young people have more active thinking, are more passionate about their careers, and have more capital to fight for it, instead of rushing for fame and opportunities. It needs to be grasped and precipitation is also needed. Talents that are displayed prematurely are exposed before they are brewed and formed, and it is easy to die prematurely.

Now when I read Zhang Ailing, I always make a pot of coffee, taste it carefully, and read it slowly. There are a lot of contradictions in Zhang Ailing's character: she is a hedonist who is good at turning art into life and turning life into art, and she is also a person who is full of tragedy in life; she is a daughter of a famous family, but she is a proud lady. She claims that she is a self-reliant citizen; she is pitiful and pitiful, and always sees the "pity" behind the "ridiculousness" of all living beings, but in real life she appears to be cold and unfeeling; she is understanding of the world, but she always goes her own way no matter how she treats others or dresses. , alone and aloof. She interacts with readers in her articles, but she always maintains a distance, preventing outsiders from peeking into her heart; she can use a lot of strange cheongsams to interpret her beauty and show her luxury; she can also keep her secret The old antiques live in seclusion and are isolated from the world. Some people even say: "Only Eileen Chang can withstand the dazzling noise and extreme loneliness at the same time."

After spring and winter, she tastes the harshness of the world. She was born into a wealthy family but is in troubled times. She seems to be strong. , Behind the arrogance, there is more helplessness hidden. Zhang Ailing's rationality is close to indifference. She has never written sentimental women, but when she is passionately in love, she can also say such lingering words: "You are such a person, I can't wait to wrap you up, like a The sachet is sewn with dense stitches and hidden in the suitcase.

"When love is gone, the incense she carefully lit will always moisten your and my eyes several years later in the dead of night. The beauty of the agarwood at that moment is so profound. So "Half Life" " "Love in a Fallen City", "Red Roses and White Roses", "Agarwood Chips: The First Incense", "Agarwood Chips: The Second Incense", one masterpiece after another, all of which show desolation in her writing: desolation. The family history, the desolate secular life, the desolate plot, the desolate scenery, the desolate mood, the charm, and the helpless life behind it.

Looking at all living beings, everyone's life is like hers. The novel is general, but the desolation of each era is different. We may admire positive things more, and the style of writing cannot show her trivial charm, so it is impossible to produce another Zhang Ailing, the submerged era, too. It has drowned the people of an era, leaving only articles that can be re-read many times.