Prose with the theme of nostalgia

Up to now, the invitation letter to the 12th International Academic Conference of Qu Yuan Society is still preserved, and a letter from Mr. Wang to all members is attached, in which we especially informed everyone that we lost three respected Chu scholars in March this year, including Mr. Zhang. Seeing this news, I sat for a long time, recalling my association with Mr. Zhang, and my eyes were blurred, only to know that Mr. Zhang was an old man who was nearly eighty years old. In my eyes, Mr. Zhang is quick-thinking, free-talking, brisk as the wind, and not old at all. I always thought he was about sixty. I blame myself for being rude, and I am ashamed of my academic inaction.

In a blink of an eye, Mr. Wang has been away from us for almost two years, and 65438+February 4 is the anniversary of his death. Shenzhen and his party were deeply sorry to see the gentlemen whom they met at the Baotou meeting, but they couldn't help thinking of Mr. Zhang's kind voice and encouragement. I'm dead, but the past is vivid.

In 2002, the county proposed that there should be a special person to do the work of the Qu Yuan Cultural Research Association, so it was decided that the county Federation of Literary and Art Circles and the Qu Yuan Cultural Research Association would cooperate to equip a cadre, but the leaders asked me to undertake the daily affairs of the research association. Although I have a certain understanding of Chu Ci and Qu Yuan, I like literary creation. How can I do this job professionally? Reality forced me to start a new round of study, starting with rereading the Songs of the South. In the meantime, I collected a lot of information about Chu culture and Qu Yuan's research, devouring them alive and swallowing them. You can't be an expert, at least you have to know everything. If you don't know anything, as a worker in a research society, it will be a joke.

After graduating from college, I have always dreamed of returning to the university campus. I want to go to graduate school with my favorite modern and contemporary literature. I hope I can do literary criticism or female literature research in the future. Since I came into contact with Chuxue, I have discovered a rich and wonderful field. As a Chu people, living in Qu Yuan's hometown, it may be more meaningful for me to do some research in this field. So I dared to write a letter to Mr. Zhang, in which I expressed my desire to continue studying, and I was worried that I was too old to know what to do after studying. Teacher Wang wrote back soon, introducing in detail the master's program of Chu Xue in China Normal University. The textbook to be used not only writes down the title, but also indicates the version and author one by one. He didn't say anything false about the future, but told me directly that if he continued to study for a master's degree, he could strive to stay in Chu studies in the future. Teacher Zhang is not worried about my professional exam. He is worried about whether I can pass the exam in English. Facts have proved that Mr. Wang's worry is right. After leaving school for many years, all the English I learned before was returned to the teacher, and I didn't pass the exam at last. Lack of confidence in English is indeed an important factor. Mr. Wang wrote down his two telephone numbers after the letter, and specifically stated that both numbers were at home. I guess what Mr. Wang means is that I can always ask him for advice if I have any questions, but I'm too embarrassed to disturb Mr. Wang's life, so I only called once for fear of taking up his precious time. My heart ached when I wrote these words. I didn't follow the path indicated by Mr. Wang, so I hesitated, took a detour, delayed the opportunity, and failed to live up to Mr. Zhang's enthusiastic help. I am not a self-motivated person. Looking back now, I obviously lost my goal at that time, and time passed relentlessly in a daze.

A few months after receiving her husband's reply, she suddenly received a phone call from her husband. He told me that he was holding an academic conference at the Three Gorges Dam near me. If I have time, I can meet him. After work, I hurried to the dam area, my heart beating like a drum, knocking on my husband's door. Mr. Zhang is an authority and author in the field of Chu studies. In front of him, I am just a pupil who has never crossed the threshold of Chu studies. I don't know what to say when I meet him, although I have many questions to ask. It is Mr Cai Jingquan who opens the door. Mr. Cai looks solemn and dignified, and I am more and more embarrassed. Teacher Zhang is extremely thin, dressed simply, smiling, and modest, and has no scholar's shelf at all. I am lively and outgoing, with a desire for advice. I quickly eliminated the tension in my heart and chatted with the two gentlemen about my real thoughts. When I left, both gentlemen got up and sent me out. In the administrative department, I saw more hierarchical and inferior faces, and I was moved by the courtesy they gave me.

This conversation also made me understand that it is too difficult for me to go to a regular university for further study, and I may fail the English exam after all, which makes me quite depressed. No matter whether you read or not, you can't relax by self-study. I taught myself three volumes of Ancient History of China and Cultural History of China, and I also read History of Philosophy of China and hundreds of works. As long as I have time, I will read the songs of Chu, try to involve various versions and find out what the predecessors said. Even if I don't go to graduate school, I will continue to enrich myself, improve my education and follow in the footsteps of a gentleman. Maybe I won't get any academic achievements after all, but I can express my understanding of Qu Yuan in my own way.

Before the Spring Festival in 2004, I received a New Year card from Mr. Zhang, which read in bold: "Happy New Year and all the best!" Mr. Wang remembered to write me a postcard in spite of his busy schedule, and his heart was moved beyond words. In July 2005, I finally met Mr. Qu again, and I felt very cordial. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to hand in to the conference, so my "article" can't be handed in as a paper. I happened to be in teacher Zhang's group during the group discussion. I am the only woman in this group, sitting silently in the corner of the conference room, listening to the speeches of experts and scholars. Later, in his reply to me, Mr. Wang said, "Although you are silent, your concentration is exemplary." I think this is the actual situation. Teacher Wang saw my attitude of studying hard from my expression. At this meeting, Mr. Zhang encouraged me to take the postgraduate entrance examination again, but I hesitated again because of my age and English. During the dinner, Mr. Zhang took a photo of me with a camera and said that my expression was excellent and I would wash it and send it to me. I don't care that a scholar as big as Mr. Wang won't remember these little things. Less than a week after returning to Zigui, I actually received photos, one with a seven-inch enlargement and two with four inches. In order to keep the photos flowing, Mr. Wang used express delivery. In the postscript, he said modestly: "Xiaomei: My skill as a non-professional photographer is too poor, and the photos taken are not very good. Sorry. " This is the most brilliant photo of my smile during the whole Baotou meeting. Behind the camera is my husband's amiable face, and my happiness and gratitude are written on it. In my reply, Mr. Wang also used your respectful name. Mr. Wang's humility touched me again and again. The old gentlemen of their generation are both modest and knowledgeable. Just like the silent water, it contains you invisibly, affects you, makes you feel kind everywhere but gives birth to deeper respect, and involuntarily wants to be like them.

After receiving the photo, I sent a little book to Mr. Zhang, and I was a little nervous. Many places in the book involve history. After contacting Chu Xue, I know that some statements are inappropriate, but they have been printed in black and white and cannot be changed. Mr. Wang wrote back and said, "Reading it is fresh, meaningful and admirable." However, it also bluntly pointed out that "everything involving historical events seems to have not failed, but it is a pity." From now on, we should remember that we should not only enjoy the meaning of words, but also look for historical evidence with the rigor of scholars, so that literature can play on the basis of correct understanding. Wang also talked about some views on the Baotou meeting and placed high hopes on the next annual meeting in Hangzhou. At the end of the letter, Mr. Wang added, "Leping countryside, drums and nymphs are unforgettable, and." I always thought I could pick up my husband and go to Lepingli again, although I know that Teacher Zhang has doubts about whether Zigui is Qu Yuan's hometown. When we first met, he said that from an academic point of view, this issue is not very important, and we can discuss it or follow the conclusions of our predecessors. According to the previous conclusion, that is, Zigui was Qu Yuan's hometown before unearthed cultural relics proved Qu Yuan's birthplace. Teacher Wang said that I could do some research from Zigui, but I don't want to go into a dead end and spend too much energy on trivial issues. I understand what Mr. Wang said, any learning is the sea, and learning should have the same mind as the sea. Who knows that not only the trip to Leping became an empty shadow, but also the annual meeting in Hangzhou, which Mr. Wang had high hopes for, failed to attend and died.

I can't listen to the teacher any more, but I didn't cherish the opportunity I had.

Mr. Wang's reply to me on September 16, 2005 became a permanent and precious memorial.

This kind of detailed memory may seem verbose to others, but it is precious to me. Some sadness, some regret, but also gave me strength. I still have time, and I can do something to eliminate my inner shame and be worthy of teacher Zhang's encouragement and care before his death, so as to urge myself not to waste my time and live a meaningful life.

In a few days, it will be the second anniversary of Mr. Zhang's death I am writing this article to commemorate.