Am I a good mother? Stop pushing yourself with high standards.

We read a lot of parenting books and listened to many mothers-in-law sharing their parenting experiences, tips and tricks, and so on. There are many good dwarfs, but can we really do everything?

At the beginning, I often got into such a dilemma. After reading any parenting articles or books, I followed them with enthusiasm and confidence. Sometimes I work really hard, but sometimes the effect is not good. At this time, I am always particularly depressed and feel that I am a failure.

Treat "Bedside Story" as a trivial matter. Everyone says that five minutes before going to bed has a great influence on a child's life, and the story time before going to bed will be the most important childhood memory of the child ... (5000 words are omitted below), but my children don't sleep every time they finish the story, but they are even more excited. Finally, his mother got angry and the child cried … I really don't think I am a good mother!

Besides, there are more failures than successes ... many. ...

Annie likes to make some small crafts by herself. She likes to draw quietly and stick this. Whenever she sees any waste paper, boxes and cans that I am going to throw into the recycling station, her eyes light up and she asks me if I can give them to her and what she wants to do. Only mother is good in the world. She often stays in the room for half a day, drawing a colorful picture, or sticking it inside. Oh no, I mean a shiny card with mommy on it forever, I love you …

After learning to write because, I began to add because … but it will always be because you cooked dinner for me. Because you brush my teeth. Because you clean the house.

Once on Mother's Day, I received another card like this, and my heart suddenly became sour. What my children feel about my mother is just these "routine" things for her?

I definitely have more than just responsibility for my children, but also a lot of love! Didn't she feel it? I'm a standard Gemini who talks to people and talks nonsense. Can't my children see my strange side?

I calmed down and carefully examined every day, every activity and every interaction between me and my children. It turned out that my mistake was that I wanted to be a "mother" and a "good mother" too seriously and forgot to be myself! If a mother can't be herself, how can a child learn to be herself? How to learn that life needs to be relaxed, assured and happy?

Gradually, I understand that there is no perfect person in this world, where can there be a decathlon mother?

I shouldn't blindly try to copy other people's successful experience. I am different from that mother, and my child is different from that child. What I really should do is "know yourself and yourself", and then find out my own strengths and the best way for my children. When I forced myself to do something I didn't like or was not very good at, I had already failed by half! Keen children will also feel their mother's discomfort, so the whole process will not be happy and smooth, the effect is of course not good, and failure is a matter of course!

For example.

Australia has a vast territory and rich natural resources. There are too many places to explore and play with children. This is the best time for children to hang out before school. At that time, many friends around me took their children to different places to play almost every day! I quickly followed, thinking: how wonderful! Giving different * * * to the growing little brain every day must be of great help to the development of neurons and synapses! (The nasty occupational disease broke out again)

But after a while, I found that my children and I are not suitable for this model! On the one hand, I didn't have a driver's license at that time, so it was not inconvenient to rely on public transportation, but it would take a long time and I didn't feel when I went out. After a trip, not only the children are tired, but I am also tired when I come back, and my mood is easy to get bad, so going out happily often becomes "crying home".

Besides, Annie is a slow learner, and it always takes a long time to warm up in a new place, so she is beside me most of the time and doesn't want to play. When she decides to leave, it's usually time for us to go home … for whom am I working hard and for whom am I busy? I came all the way to visit you. I told you to play, but you didn't go. I didn't start playing until I left. The whole fire burned me!

Slowly, I realized that this is not possible and it is not worth it. I'm not like this at all, and neither are my children!

While realizing this, I also feel guilty, as if I had deprived my child of some kind of opportunity because of "me" ... I can't do what other mothers can do for their children. Am I a very irresponsible mother?

But I always feel very unwilling!

Until one day, I mentioned "telling stories" in a chat with my friend, and my friend said, "Alas! I also know how to feed children story books, but I'm just not the material. I'm super? Level? Please. Tired of reading story books! I'm impatient after reading it twice! 」

It was this opportunity that made me start to look at myself.

I don't like taking my children around, but I love reading, so I also like reading with my children. I can read to my children for hours, draw with them and do DIY together. These are my strengths!

Then blow up one of your own shortcomings, such as.

I'm afraid of driving (but I drive well. I'm afraid it's different from technology. Who is it? Who's laughing? Go away! When I want to drive, because the child is used to it, I chat with my mother sitting in the passenger seat and call her mother from time to time: "Look at this!" Or "Mom, look at me! (Mom's inner os: Look at an X! ) mom is in the driver's seat, but they still can't change the habit of calling mom.

Sometimes I want to keep the habit of talking with my children about school life after school, but after several times I find that it usually doesn't have a good result. It's not that I had a problem driving (for example, I forgot to release the brakes all the way, and I found smoke on the rear wheel when I got home). No wonder I always smell a bad smell along the way, trying to say something stinks. I wish I could drive faster ...), otherwise the chat quality is poor and even the children are scolded.

I find that I can do several things at the same time, which means I am easily distracted, but I can't drive. As long as I am distracted by other things, I will temporarily empty my car and not pay attention to what I should pay attention to. Most roads in Australia do not rely on signs to control traffic, but rely on roadside and ground signs and drivers' law-abiding spirit and mutual courtesy to maintain smooth traffic. Therefore, I must try my best to concentrate while talking to the children. This will make you nervous, of course, there is no good face for your children.

Finally, I decided to tell my child frankly: "mom must concentrate on driving and can't talk to you as usual." You can chat with each other (but please don't scream), and we can also listen to music. In this way, the child will not feel inexplicable and detonate this mine called "Mom". I can also concentrate on driving while singing loudly. You may ask: can't chat but can sing? That's right! One meter raises a hundred people! That's why I encourage everyone to know themselves and find out their strengths!

"Being yourself is the most comfortable", and mom is no exception! A comfortable mother can raise a confident child! Learn to understand and honestly face your own weaknesses and find out your own strengths before you can calmly face the situation of yourself and your children. For what I am good at, I can teach my children everything I know and enjoy it with them!

For those who don't enjoy and are not good at it, they can make up for it by external forces. For example, I don't like traveling around the world with my children every day, but I occasionally join a friend who loves to travel. With familiar companions around, my children will be more accepted by the new environment, and I will be more relaxed because of the company.

As for what I like but am not so good at, I will try to find a compromise. For example, I like cooking, but I am very tidy in the kitchen. When I cook at home with my children, I will be flustered by the messy scene, and the next step will be difficult. I can't help but go crazy when I eat for so long! (This mother has a bad temper ...) But I really want to have sex with them!

So I tried to find a compromise. When the weather is fine, we will move to the balcony and garden. Anyway, it is good to wash water outdoors (otherwise it is called Ruoxi vacuum cleaner); If the outdoor space is limited, I will finish the part that will make me nervous first, and the children can enjoy the process of kneading dough, modeling and baking. Wouldn't it be more boring if your face was covered with flour? No, next time, we will DIY clay together. There is only one step in clay, and it will be finished soon! They can quickly flash into the living room to play with their clay. I like to clean up the mess while listening to the series! Win-win!

Mom doesn't have to be omnipotent, but if you look carefully, you will definitely find your own advantages! I often say to my children, "I can't do this. Let's find a way together! Didn't the internet say that stupid mothers can raise smart children? Look, how thoroughly I practiced! But there are some things that children will sincerely admire: "Wow! Hello, mom! " (hair ~)

Let children know that mother is not everything, and it will not reduce the status of "mother god" in children's hearts. In the future, they will also know how to examine their own characteristics, measure their own abilities, grasp their own strengths, and concentrate their firepower! Life can't have everything, so why not be a mother? What about you? What are your strengths? Miss Erhua authorized to reprint the original source. Am I a good mother? Find out your strengths, be yourself and be more comfortable.