Shaving your head

The murder caused by shaving one’s head

? 1. Shaving one’s head

I suddenly had the idea of ????shaving my head, and the circle of friends exploded. , thinking of everyone’s incredible eyes, there is a sense of pride and rebelliousness. In the social norms, most people follow this framework standard without thinking, but they don’t know that their thoughts are pitifully bound and become narrow. , pedantic and ridiculous. Most people always lack the ability to think and question.

Although my intention was not to challenge this rule, but I simply wanted to see what I looked like without hair. I thought, if I see the beautiful temperament and feel good about myself every day, what if I am ugly? What would it be like to have a bald head? I'm curious.

Can I be bald? When I walk on the road and people look at me with surprise, can I still maintain a clear and unmoving heart? Thinking of this, I was actually excited for a long time.

? ? 2. "Crazy"

Some people say that I am an elegant woman, while others say that I am very gentle, cheerful, a filial good girl, and a very good person in the workplace. I am an excellent woman, a man who can change a water pipe, who is always motivated to be a good mother, and who strives not to let the image of a housewife stick to me. I have been labeled with many labels, but the fact is Over the years, I have tried my best to perform various roles according to the label. Self-evaluation, the acting is okay.

This is a line from Ma Liang, a photographer from the 1970s, in an article titled "I want to be a shining psychopath in your mediocre memories". He mocked himself as a shining psychopath. I sincerely admired his naked truth and frankness, as well as his profound thinking about life. I suddenly discovered that some of my weird, unconstrained and boring thoughts coincided with his, and I immediately felt that " The word "psychopath" is definitely a complimentary word. I couldn't help the urge to put it on myself.

In fact, the word "psychopath" is relative. He deviates from social rules and is incompatible with the world, so he becomes the so-called alternative and unreasonable. I think this has something to do with my decision to shave my hair. There is something radical about the bald head. Going back to the interpretation of the previous paragraph: What is the excellence and beauty that I show on the outside, but what is shown on the inside? ——Standing in the light, there must be shadows.

I shave my head, dance heavy-tongued jazz, occasionally want to say bad words, only wear T-shirts and jeans... In short, I want to do something that I have never dared to do or even dare to think about before. I was shocked to see that there was still such a part of myself. These shadowed parts of myself seemed to slowly begin to emerge. There was a burst of energy inside that was eager to be released. It was difficult to use precise words and words to express it. Shown, this is rather annoying.

Just like this moment, in the middle of the night, my mind is full of thoughts that need to be transformed. After chanting sutras and meditating to no avail, I simply get up and type on the keyboard, mumbling to myself and writing a bunch of nonsensical crazy things. Talking crazy. Never mind him! Just be happy.

3. Thoughts on eating meat

Take pig trotters on skewers and spicy hot pot as an example. I actually love eating meat. When Lao Guo was in love, I ate a whole plate of braised pig's trotters by myself, especially in the context that Lao Guo was a slight food mysophobia. When I was dating a girlfriend who had just been in love, this girl ate pig. The appearance of the hooves and chicken claws was probably enough to make him think about it for a few days. Should he marry this woman and go home?

I wanted to show that I love eating meat, so I went to learn a little bit about Buddhism, and then I came back with all the motivation to become a vegetarian. One day, I really wanted to eat the grilled fish on the fish. Fish, so he pulled Dou Dou nervously, ran to the door of the store and asked the waiter weakly: "Are all the fish here made from live fish?" I thought to myself, and ate some three Clean meat should be fine, right?

The waiter was afraid that the customers would find the ingredients stale, so he responded enthusiastically: "They are all live, no money is required if they are not live."

I pulled Dou Dou and moved him slowly. He walked away angrily, leaving the waiter standing there with a confused look on his face, cursing in his heart: Psycho.

Later, I couldn’t help but go to Seafood No. 1 for a sumptuous meal. The meal was filled with infinite guilt. I silently recited "Amitabha" countless times in my heart, dedicating it to those fishes. , shrimps, and crabs. May they reach bliss soon. As I write this, I laugh out loud! Hahaha.

When I jumped out of my ego, stood nearby, and saw the "I" groping in ignorance but working hard and bravely growing up, I actually felt that I was extremely cute. This is an incredible feeling.

Once you are labeled, you will try to abide by that rule. Just like I obviously wanted to eat meat, but in fact I did, but the process was depressing, distorted, and uncomfortable. This state is somewhat similar to someone who tries hard to be a good person, but often internally criticizes himself for thoughts and behaviors that do not match it. And many senior brothers have gone through the same stage as me. If they can't get out of it, their lives will be very painful.

And more people will take the initiative to label themselves, for example, what kind of person I am, I am that kind of person, and this part of the people who often flaunt what kind of person they are, other Internally, we usually want to hide behind this label and hide more of the truth, because it is safer to do so. And more people will never discover this part of themselves throughout their lives, living in pain, ignorance and fearlessness. Every time I see this, the compassion that rises in my heart always makes me want to serve more people. The power of many lives.

I respect Buddhism and Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism very much, because they are very, very deep knowledge and wisdom. Compared with these, I am extremely superficial. I don’t want to question Buddhism, but it is clear. See the tension and resistance within yourself.

When watching the movie "Kang Rinpoche", at the beginning of the story, everyone embarked on a 2,000-kilometer pilgrimage with a different heart for self-salvation. ? The men, women, and children in the pilgrimage all bent down to the earth, knelt and kowtowed, without reservation.

Unpreparedly, tears burst into my eyes. The power of shock, emotion, and belief made people awe-inspiring... It seems that this kowtow has already left its imprint on my soul and consciousness in reincarnations. , so I believe that I have some inexplicable connection with Buddhism, so I often proudly explain to others that the bone spurs that protruded from my forehead at some point were probably because I kowtowed to my head for a long time in a certain life. Knocked out.

After experiencing many setbacks, one day I asked Master Khenpo in frustration. I deeply felt that I had insufficient abilities and had countless troubles of greed, anger and delusion. I might not be able to escape from them in this life. Master Khenpo. After thinking for a while, I replied in a very serious and cute way in broken Chinese: "It's okay, Wangji, I will work hard to learn Chinese and then preach Buddhism to you, don't be anxious." I then said, "Master Khenpo, I I want to shave my head." Master Khenpo replied calmly, "Okay, you can shave your head if you want." After listening to Master Khenpo's sincere and calm consolation, I thought, since there is a sequence of human xinxing growth. point. Then there is no need to rush.

Follow your heart and do something for yourself. When I thought about this clearly, I was moved to tears by such a self.

? 4. Are you living a life that satisfies yourself?

A friend said that he often asks himself: What can "I" do for "me" myself? I haven’t seen him for more than ten years, and I am sincerely happy that he has such an awakening.

And I will ask myself from another angle: What do "I" do for "you"? Are "you" satisfied? "In an instant, my eyes were moist, and a warm current flowed through my heart. Yes, I am such a brave, hard-working, bright and open woman who lives an open and honest life. I am very satisfied. This is enough, isn't it? And a Not many people live a life that satisfies themselves.

Therefore, for every thing or belief that you are confident about now, do it quickly, even though you will find out a few years later. What does it matter if your thoughts or actions are so stupid and naive? Isn’t that what growth is?

I often feel that human life is very short, and people must have some kind of mission. Come on, if you just eat, poop, reproduce, or pursue success and wealth, does life seem too superficial? Sometimes you are eager to expect that you can grow quickly and have the wisdom to understand life, and you also wonder why everyone Never spend some time thinking about how you want to live this life?

I read Zhang Defen's book "Meeting the Unknown Self" more than ten years ago, "There is no one else outside but yourself". Only today can I truly understand the truth behind this sentence. Knowledge does not mean knowing.

I hope we can all live a satisfying life!