A joke that makes you laugh.

Jokes that are funny to listen to

Jokes that are funny to listen to are always humorous, and many jokes can bring us a happy mood. Such jokes have the effect of arousing * * * and are moral, so let's share the jokes that are funny to listen to next time. A joke that makes you laugh. 1

1. There is a colleague whose surname is Wen, and everyone usually calls him Brother Wen. Another colleague, whose last word is Bo, is called Bobo by everyone. One day they met. Bobo: Hello bra! Bra: Hello Bobo! Bobo: I'll rely on you to cover it from now on! Bra: You're welcome! I'll depend on you in the future.

2. Senior three students are eating and chatting in the canteen. A: Actually, I like literature and history. B: Are you disgusting? C: What about eating? Do you know? That's disgusting! A q: what's the matter? B: Didn't you say you like smelling shit?

3. Once upon a time, there was a match. When he felt his head itch, he scratched and scratched, and he burned himself to death.

4. There is a girl in my colleague's house, one and a half years old, who is in the process of milking. In the morning, my daughter clamored for milk, but my colleagues firmly disagreed. My daughter cried ... I went to the bedroom crying for a while, and came back one minute later, holding a dollar in my hand, looking at my colleagues piteously and saying, Mom, I'll just drink a dollar.

5. Today, a tricky young woman brought an 8-year-old son to the orchard to buy cherries. The young woman tasted a cherry and said, "What cherry is this? It doesn't smell like fart!" I haven't responded yet, and her son said, "It's not like spending money on fart, of course it doesn't smell like fart!"

6. A company recruited employees, and hundreds of college students rushed to announce themselves: "I am from Peking University." "I am a Jiaotong University." "I am Zhejiang University. ""I'm Tsinghua. "Suddenly a girl shouted," I am Bo Da! "As soon as the chairman struck the table, he said," It's your turn. Come to my office to talk. " On entering the office, the girl showed the certificate of Ningbo University to the chairman.

7. The final exam was held in advance. Although the teacher who came to the supervisor was a classroom teacher, he didn't know the students. A wonderful thing happened. There was a classmate in the class who was very old-fashioned and sat in the last row. He wore a suit during the exam, just like a teacher. Ten minutes after the exam, he didn't do any questions. When he saw how there was a teacher at the back of the supervisor's exam in front, he went to the office and asked the department secretary what was going on. When he came back, the students had almost copied it.

8. One day, my boyfriend was sitting on the train to new york, and he was the only one in the carriage. Suddenly, a big man rushed in from the back compartment, put a knife to Larry's neck and threatened: Money or death? My boyfriend was shaking with fear and answered with trembling hands: I … I don't have any money on me. Then why are you shaking? The big fellow thundered. I ... I thought you were a ticket inspector!

9. When a freshman applied for a job, the boss asked him, "What kind of working environment do you want?" He replied: "The monthly salary is 1, yuan, and I will go abroad for 3 days at public expense every year." Boss: "I will give you a monthly salary of 2, yuan, give you a house, and go abroad for 6 days at public expense every year." He said in surprise, "So good! Are you kidding me? " Boss: "You joked with me first.

1. Tattoos were popular in the past, and a buddy tattooed a map of the world on his back. One day, my back hurt so much that I went to the hospital. The doctor asked: Where does it hurt? He came faintly: near Iraq.

11. On the way to work today, I saw a couple. The man was carrying a woman on his back, pretending to throw her into the trash can. The woman smiled and called her annoying. Then maybe the man didn't hold her hand tightly, and the woman fell and fell into the trash can ... Holy shit, I laughed at that time! !

12. A developer died and went to heaven. When he arrives in heaven, he wants to have tea with God. God thinks that he is too creative and will disturb heaven. If he refuses to have tea with him, he will be sent to hell. Just a week later, the king of Yan came to the door sweating profusely: God, get him out of here quickly. God asked: What's the matter? Yan said: Eighteen floors, all changed into underground commercial streets!

13. On the National Day, Liu Bei sang loudly upstairs with a Sichuan accent: "Today is your birthday, my motherland …". Soon Zhuge Liang came upstairs, blushing, saying: "Master, please stop singing, and the brothers thought you were singing Zhuge ~"

14. During the Chinese New Year, I lived in my father-in-law's house, and my daughter-in-law was ill at home these two days. Today, my father-in-law and mother-in-law went out to dinner, and I stayed at home to take care of my daughter-in-law. When I came back from downstairs to throw garbage, I found that my father-in-law posted a blessing at the door and came back to tell my daughter-in-law: "Your father posted a blessing at the door when he went out ~" My daughter-in-law was stunned: "Did he post a sign at the door? Don't let me go out and seal me? "

15. I took a sip of my wine and nodded and said, Yes, she never brought any money, and she stood in the middle of the carriage without a seat. I suggest that we add more handrails to increase the safety of passengers. What do you think, Brother Chen?

16. Tomb-Sweeping Day went to the grave and saw a child burning paper by the roadside. From time to time, he secretly threw some examination papers into the fire, muttering while burning, "Grandpa, you are old. Doing more exercises there is good for your brain and can also develop your intelligence. If you can't do it, take the teacher from my class away and let her teach you. "

17. One night when I was driving, there was a car opposite me with a particularly dazzling light. I thought it was a high beam, so I flashed to remind him to change the low beam, but I didn't expect him to be indifferent. Later, I turned on the high beam to hurt each other. At this time, he turned on the real high beam, and then I thought I saw the sun.

18. I heard that the manager is going to give out red envelopes in the group soon, and a colleague has been sending out expression packs to disturb others to grab red envelopes. He finally got what he wanted, and it was the best eleven. He can't break the rules! Twenty bags for one hundred dollars. After he issued a red envelope, he was robbed in four seconds, and he didn't even grab it himself. At that moment, I saw the flesh on his face twitching obviously.

19. Yesterday, I went to the school toilet, which is the kind where the pits are connected and the spaces are separated one by one. At the beginning, I lost a fifty-cent coin when I undressed my pants. I felt a little distressed and couldn't continue to undress my pants. I crashed again. I was heartbroken! A sentence came from the pit behind: "Damn it, you think this is a wishing pool!" "

2. Frog MM and elephant boyfriend were watching TV at home when they heard a knock at the door. The elephant opened the door and saw a snail standing at the door. He picked up the snail and whizzed it away. One day three years later, there was a knock at the door. The elephant opened the door and saw the snail again. The snail said, "What happened to you just now? Why did you throw me away? ! A joke that makes you laugh. 2

1. The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Student A: Make the lunch box blue

2. On the plane, an air hostess asked a little girl, "Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when it flies so high?"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will' flash'!"

3. A polar bear and a penguin were playing together. The penguin pulled off the hairs one by one. After pulling, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold! "When the polar bear heard this, he pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said," It's really cold! "

4. American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood?

China people: No!

American: Then why is the Chinese word "cup" beside the wooden word?

China people: Isn't there a "no" next to the word "cup"? That is to say, it is not made of wood.

5. One day, when the national war was in full swing, the guild leader came to the front of the prairie to inspire morale ...

The guild leader asked: What was the situation?

the archer of the league member reported: report to the leader! There is an archer of Bezos by the tent 2 meters ahead, but his accuracy is very poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone.

After listening, the head of the regiment asked: Since the archer of the enemy was found, why not kill him?

The archer of the League member said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to change to a more accurate one?

6. Soldiers: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place once, and I remember that there is a Meilin nearby. After a short walk, I may arrive at "Soldiers:" Oh … There are plums to eat … Oh …… "

Half an hour later-Coss:" Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? At last, there is water to drink.

Soldiers: "Don't go ... you must find plums ..."

7. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why didn't they say hello?

Because ...

Because they are all strangers! Haha

8. The little snake asked Brother Snake in a panic, "Brother, are we poisonous?" The serpent said, "Why do you ask?"

the snake said, "I bit my tongue by accident just now."

9. In the race between the tortoise and the rabbit, the rabbit quickly ran to the front.

The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly, and said to him, Come up, I'll carry you.

then, the snail came up.

After a while, the tortoise sees an ant again. Say to him: Come up, too.

so the ants came up.

When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and said "Hello" to him.

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast"

1. Bad news: a pilot fell out of the plane

Good news: he brought a parachute

Bad news: the parachute is bad

Good news: there is a haystack below

Bad news: there is a dung fork on the haystack < Fortune-teller: You are doomed to be unattractive in the first half of your life. My eyes lit up: What about the second half? Fortune teller: You'll get used to it in the second half of your life.

second, the beautiful collarbone is the same, and the interesting belly bounces around.

Third, if a girl is walking in an ancient street, she is dragged back by the emperor to serve her bedroom and washes her face at night, will she be convicted of bullying the monarch or something?

Fourth, if you have no money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big! Not only can you have a look! You can also look around.

5. I'm happy for you if you have a good life, but I'm happy for the whole world if you have a bad life.

Sixth, my colleague said happily, "The child born to my ex-girlfriend is especially like me!" The opposite female colleague calmly said, "She must have married your mother's ex-boyfriend."

7. I have been versatile since I was a child, and I have a particularly handy instrument. Whenever I quit, I play the best!

8. I have too many advantages, so I can't do things in two ways, and neither can this; That won't do either.

9. Yesterday, a couple came to ask me how to get to the hotel. I did not hesitate to show them the way to Xinhua Bookstore, hoping that they could find themselves lost in the sea of knowledge!

1. Every time someone asks me the way, I blindly point, first, because I don't know the way at all, and second, to teach the world a lesson: don't trust good-looking people casually.

Xi. Some parents educate their children without scientific methods and rules, and rely entirely on their hands, such as my dad!

12. A person posted a question: Do girls think playing basketball is more handsome than playing badminton? Someone replied: mainly look at the face. Handsome shuttlecock players are handsome, and ugly ones are like shoveling shit when playing golf.

XIII. I went from having nothing, to having assets of over 1 million, from being surrounded by family members to luxury villas. I didn't rely on others, but I came up with them by myself, bit by bit!

14th, when God closes a door for you, he will always leave many unlocked phone numbers on the wall for you.

15. The teacher asked the students to tell a short story with three elements: horror, comedy and tragedy. At this moment, Xiao Ming raised his hand to answer: Once upon a time, there was a ghost who farted and died.

16. Don't mess around if you don't look good: some people spend a lot of money to iron delicate princess rolls, and they don't look like princesses, but like Newton.

seventeen, there are always some people in life who try their best to get close to you and chat with you late into the night every day, in fact, just to steal your expression pack.

18. I was walking on the road on a rainy day, and a big Ben flew by me, splashing mud all over me. Looking at the big Ben that was far away, I secretly vowed in my heart that when I got rich, I must buy a raincoat of my own.

19. I saw a figure just now that looked like you. I chased it like crazy, only to remember that there was no you in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.