A difficult problem in communication can be solved with a story!

If someone asks you this question: "Do you like to hear the truth or lies?" What's the general answer?

If you like listening to the truth, the other person will think you are hypocritical, because the truth will always cause people's unhappiness. If you answer that you like to listen to lies, the other person thinks you are dishonest.

This is a trap question, no matter how you answer it, you will fall into the trap of the other party. The other person is hostile to you, so ask such a question.

So how to answer this question? In the book Story Thinking: Key Skills of Influencing Others and Solving Problems, the author suggests that we can tell him a story with an answer.

For the first question, we can tell a story: my colleague Xiao Li has prepared a debate for many days. He was very nervous before going on stage. He asked me how he prepared. Although I know he is not fully prepared, I can only answer him that you are fully prepared, believe in yourself, and you are the best!

Including the answer in the story and answering it with the story not only avoids the specific answer, but also tells the answer to the other party.

Story thinking is a book that tells others how to solve various problems in communication through stories. This book tells people the influence of stories, why to tell stories and how to tell them well through a large number of stories. It teaches us to solve the difficulties in communication with story thinking and helps us to cultivate story thinking.

The author of this book is Annette Simmons, who is a pioneer in applying story thinking to business. She once founded American group program consulting company, and served clients such as NASA and Microsoft. Her works include Your Team Needs a Storyteller and The Power of Stories.

Some people may wonder, everyone is so busy, and you encourage everyone to tell stories. Isn't this going against the sky? Besides, who will listen to your story patiently? What is the special ability of the story for you to recommend to everyone?

The story is rich in content and sufficient in details, which can arouse people's association, trigger * * * and make them agree.

1. Stories are more acceptable than the truth.

There is an old saying: "Talk to people when you meet them, and talk nonsense when you meet them." This sentence describes those communication experts who are very good at talking. They know when to say something appropriate.

However, many people are not good communicators and often don't know how to speak when communicating. To tell the truth, no one likes to hear it. If you say it directly, it will cause resentment and make the other party misunderstand.

Linjiang's company is a foreign trade company, which often receives customers from different countries.

When Jiang Lin first arrived at the company, a customer from America came to talk about business, and his boss asked him to explain the matters needing attention here.

Jiang Lin learned that the other person was a very open woman, so he said, "Don't wear halter tops, big earrings and heavy makeup here."

The customer was very angry after hearing this, thinking that Jiang Lin discriminated against her and complained to the company about him.

Jiang Lin is also very wronged. He thinks he is just reminding each other according to our custom, otherwise, according to the customer's previous dress, it will definitely cause misunderstanding. Because they are going to a place with simple folk customs this time, they are afraid that customers wearing casual clothes will cause resentment among local people.

Although the truth is right, people often find it too straightforward and unacceptable.

Lin Jiangben is right, but the real situation is like this. However, there is something wrong with the communication method he uses. He can wrap up the facts with stories and pass the information to the other party in the form of stories, which will be easily accepted by the other party.

Jiang Lin can tell the other party a story like this: Last month, a customer came from Milan, dressed in special fashion, and was regarded as dishonest by the local people, so the business naturally failed.

A fictional story, including the real situation, and then tell it to the other party. This way is euphemistic and will not cause disgust, but it can achieve a good communication purpose.

We communicate to solve problems. If you can get better results in another way, why not?

Stories can change people's inherent ideas.

According to their own experiences, people have formed an inherent view of things in their minds. For example, people usually think that professors are rigid and his lectures are boring. To change their inherent cognition, we can use a story.

An agricultural professor told a story about how he became a scientist before giving a report to everyone.

When they were young, the family lived on a farm, and there were endless weeds every day. In order to escape these farm work, he often walks away for reasons such as drinking water and going to the toilet.

Once, he said he was thirsty. After drinking water, you don't want to pull weeds, so you hide under the bed.

Seeing that he had not returned for a long time, his parents quickly mobilized their neighbors to look around. Later, he was so hungry that he was going to sneak into the kitchen to find food, but his neighbors found him.

The adults were called back, and his father was so angry that he rushed to hit him, but his neighbors stopped him. From that day on, he began to think of ways to deal with weeds.

The story is only a few minutes, but through these minutes, people see a little boy who has embarked on the road of agricultural scientist in order to deal with weeds.

Everyone has a childhood, and everyone has things and dreams that they don't want to do. These details touched the people present, changed their inherent views on scientists, and made them interested in the next report.

Imagine, if scientists don't tell this story, but start making a report directly, which is in line with people's previous inherent impression and once again confirms the fact that the report is boring. People's interest is almost zero, and no one will pay attention to the professor's report

Stories can make our communication smoother and change people's inherent impressions, but these premises are that the other party is willing to believe you.

People are wary of strangers. For example, when we visit a stranger, we are usually rejected, but if we are introduced by someone we know, the other person's defense is not so heavy. So how to gain trust and tell a good story?

1. Tell the story of "Who am I" and "Why am I here" first.

The stories "Who am I" and "Why am I here" tell the audience about our basic situation and purpose, so that the audience can get in touch with us through the details in the stories, thus generating * * * recognition and trust.

For example, the unknown aunt in Dying for Survival, whose language is simple, touches people's real needs. She said: "40 thousand 1 bottle, I was ill for three years and ate for three years." In order to buy medicine, the house was gone and the family was dragged down. Who hasn't had a patient? Can you promise not to get sick all your life? I don't want to die, I want to live. "

My aunt's words explained the question of "who is she and why she came". These words touched on people's needs-seeing a doctor is expensive, and I hope the cost of medicine will come down.

Everyone has been to the hospital, and the usual cold medicine costs hundreds of dollars, not to mention the serious illness of cancer. People hope that the cost of medicine will come down, because everyone will experience illness one day when he is old.

Through these two stories, we can embed specific details, arouse the memories and needs of the audience, trigger their emotions, and then identify with us.

2. Use body language to assist

When we tell stories to the audience, they can hear our voice about 15%. It's not that our voice is low, but that the voice can only make people trust 15%. They will also make an all-round analysis of us and make correct judgments by observing clothes, expressions, gestures, eyes and tone.

For example, our tone should be appropriate, we should pause when it is time to pause, and we should be high when it is high.

When Lincoln enlightened his friend Dickie to accept the abolition of slavery, he once said: "If the basis of slavery is the color difference between races, then the first person you meet who is whiter than you has the right to enslave you. ……"

When Lincoln uttered the words "racial color difference" and "skin color is whiter than you", the speech speed became slow. He wants Dick to think, "What are the color differences between races?" "What kind of person is whiter than you?"

Leave imagination time for the other party on the key words, and the other party will think about it and see if we want to accept our statement. If you speak too fast and the other person has no time to think, what you say will leave no trace like a gust of wind.

At the same time, the pause time should not be too long. If it is too long, people will be caught up in other affairs and unable to concentrate on what we are talking about.

Making good use of body language in telling stories will have a great influence on the audience. These skills need constant experience and practice before they can be used freely.

sincere

What can move people's hearts must be true feelings. We are sincere. Even if your tone is stuttering and your body is tense, the audience will believe you.

The story we tell must first impress ourselves, make our emotions consistent with the story, not in sadness, and hope that the audience will have positive emotions.

This is the same as the actor's performance. They must first understand the role before they can play it well. A good actor will experience his career in order to play a good role. For example, in order to play the Wolf Warrior well, Jason Wu once experienced in the special forces, trained with those soldiers and felt their daily life with his heart.

When he performed in Jason Wu, his role as a special soldier also made many people think that he was really a special soldier.

The same is true of telling stories. Before giving a speech, we must fully understand the story and practice the feelings reflected in it. When we tell the audience, we can convince them.

The author gives an example in the book. A miser taught everyone to be generous. A miser is unwilling to give up anything in his daily life. He came to teach everyone to be generous. How can anyone believe him?

Just as a child teaches an adult how to behave, it is ridiculous to teach others what a child has not yet understood.

How to tell a good story is a process that needs constant practice. I believe that if we practice hard, we can all tell a good story, and more importantly, we can improve our communication and thinking ability.

The book "Story Thinking" not only teaches us the skills of convincing people with stories, but also makes us understand the importance of mastering story ability through a large number of stories and practical examples. Telling good stories can not only improve our communication ability, but also help us to form story thinking, which is of great help to communication, learning and thinking. When we encounter a difficult problem, if we solve it in another way, we will get unexpected results.

Plato once said, "whoever can tell a story will have the whole world." The ability to believe in stories, you don't have to worry about communication problems anymore!

(Image from network, deleted)