What are the jokes about the epidemic?

The jokes about the epidemic are as follows:

1. Just now, a man asked me out for Valentine's Day on February 14th, and I was decisively blacked out. In an emergency, it's okay to cheat my feelings, but not to kill me.

2. The most uncomfortable thing these days is the thief, who didn't steal anything, so he wrote a couplet:

Part I: Steal in the street, there is no one on the street;

bottom line: go into the house and steal, the house is full of people.

horizontal criticism: I can't do it

3. I used to be afraid of seeing ghosts when I went out at night, but now I am afraid of meeting people when I go out during the day.

4. God's couplet

Part I: Pork never thought that it was defeated by a mask;

Zhonglian: I never thought that the mask would become a new year's product;

bottom line: we never thought that our contribution to society turned out to be sleeping in!

Horizontal criticism: unexpected

5. Remind everyone:

If you feel weak, sore and have a headache at home, don't be too nervous, because this is caused by brushing your mobile phone in bed for a long time, don't worry. If you have an itchy throat and a persistent cough at home, don't be nervous, which means you have eaten too much melon seeds, pecans and roasted seeds and nuts.

6. Humans have always kept animals in cages. During the Spring Festival this year, animals successfully caged more than one billion people. Heaven is reincarnation, be kind to creatures.

7. Everyone finally lived their dream life. Adults don't have to go to work, children don't have to go to school, they can eat when they want, and sleep when they want. Husband doesn't go out to the wild, wife doesn't go out to surf, and the old people at home don't go out to hang out? It feels so good to be married!

How many women permed their hair, dyed it, planted eyelashes, had their nails done, took care of it and bought many new clothes before the festival? Never imagined that the investment failed, and a pajamas lasted the whole Spring Festival!