Is there real friendship in the workplace?

Tell me about my feelings, the friendship of friends is like white wine, the longer the better; The friendship of colleagues is like perfume, the higher the value, the better. Self-worth is improved, friendship is broadened, and colleagues are also good friends; Self-worth depreciates, family ties become narrower, and friends become strangers.

Why is workplace friendship as fragile as a glass vase?

0 1

Speaking of friendship, you think of words like "youth" and "campus". After working for many years, do you still believe that colleagues can become true friends?

More than ten years ago, a friend once said that colleagues can't be friends. She thinks it is extremely foolish to confuse personal feelings with work.

And I, under such a sharp blow, still insist that I will! As a result, I have been fooled for more than ten years.

I look gentle, and I seem to get along well with many people. In fact, I am very negligent in dealing with all kinds of lively relationships, so I have few friends. I spend most of my spare time reading, showing a good attitude that you are busy with your work and I read by myself.

I don't think it's difficult to make friends, but it's rare to become bosom friends. Some people can hit it off with you, and some people will never get close to you, mainly depending on the gas field, not whether they are in the workplace. With the growth of age, the threshold of making friends has also risen, and I believe more and more that good friends are not forced, but are hit by heaven.

02

The story of me and A.

A was the first colleague and friend who was hit by God.

When I first met A, I was taking part in a second interview for a job. In just over ten minutes, I felt that I had met the right person. People really have a magnetic field. You can feel it by touching it.

It is really lucky to meet people with the right taste in the vast sea of people.

Although I feel that I didn't do well in the interview, I still hope to enter this company. Coincidentally, a few days later, I really received the employment notice.

In this way, A and I became colleagues. She is the human resources manager, and I am the head of another department.

At that time, I didn't have much contact with the HR department at work, so I gradually forgot the taste.

After more than four months of employment, A suddenly tentatively extended an olive branch to me. If you like someone, you can't help getting close to her, not to mention the other person's initiative to be nice. So, we responded enthusiastically at once, and we soon became lunch partners and friends to talk to.

A told me that the most important thing between people is sincerity. I am a person who blindly pays attention to the spiritual world. At that time, I thought her personality was excellent, and I couldn't cultivate her calm and calm style in my life.

Forget that people are multifaceted, with a divine side and a magical side.

03

People can't get too close to each other. As soon as they approached, the problem came.

Gradually found that A is not only high in emotional intelligence and artistic accomplishment, but also a very subjective, utilitarian and powerful person. Her accomplishment will really make her respect you in some ways, but more importantly, you should respect her, which means you should listen to her when translated into English. On the other hand, I have my own opinion.

Whenever I disagree with her, she always says I don't respect her. It dawned on me that she was my boss (though not my immediate supervisor). The boss needs my respect. It takes her repeated reminders to know that I should respect her, which shows how worrying my emotional intelligence is.

After many quarrels, A simply said that people's personality can't be changed, so let's keep our distance.

In other words, she defined me, and with my personality, I will never turn over in my life. At that time, it caused fatal psychological harm to me.

You walk again and again. Before you go, you must completely defeat my spirit. How cruel you are.

Friendship, which is so important in my life that I am proud of, has always given me a sense of security and made me appreciate its existence, but it has made me doubt and fear it again and again.

Now I have realized that personality is of course hard to change, but I can still restrain my shortcomings through my own efforts and make my advantages more radiant.

04

I remember the last conversation, she said that she had a clear orientation for her friends and said different things to friends with different orientations. You are quite lofty, but you are quite weak, and you don't know how to locate you or what to say to you. Formulated friends are the indifference and snobbery of adults. I was shocked by this powerful logic at that time. Now that I think about it, there is nothing wrong. She is rational and pragmatic and has no intention of being humble.

Snobbish is indeed a way of life for some people, as long as it does not harm others and benefit themselves, there is nothing wrong with it. However, snobbish friends are often good at icing on the cake and will not give timely help. When faced with the gains and losses of interests, it is difficult to give consideration to both. They will show their selfish instinct and know that they will hurt you.

All the barriers in the world started from refusing to understand, and I began to answer her contempt for me with silence. In the later days, even if we met in the elevator, we all bowed our heads and played with our mobile phones without saying a word. So they left without saying goodbye.

Then the plot became more and more bloody. I was given an administrative notice by A during a trip to Korea organized by the company, and you were laid off by the company.

At the same time, the other party carefully but clearly conveyed A's instructions, to the effect that it is ok to find the Administration when you go back, not A. ..

In an instant, I understood what it means to show the bodhisattva's heart without a thunderbolt.

I can't say betrayal. Anyway, I just feel stabbed. That night, I smiled at myself and indifferently blacked out all the contact information of A.

05

I wrote an article "To my former colleagues and friends" before, which is this A. At that time, the intense emotion was called grief and indignation, but now it is gone, and I feel that that person has nothing to do with me. It turns out that those things that never forget have changed unconsciously. It was totally unnecessary for you to try so hard to forget.

Everyone has an actor side. Forgive those who are forced into actors by life, and beware of those who can freely change in and out of the play. You may have to deal with them, but you never have to talk to them. Don't let people be nice to you, just give them an explanation from their ancestors for eight generations like a fool.

If I have to summarize, I can only say that I was amazing before I met her.

06

The story of me and B.

After my short friendship with A died smoothly, I was in constant confusion and sadness.

Half a year later, God accidentally hit the second colleague and friend-B. I am grateful to know her, although her association is shorter than A's.

B is from the business management department. Before, we worked in different places without any contact. Later, the company merged and we sat in an office. She is a very delicate person. She cleans up five or six people every day, and even the parking permit printed by the company has to be taken to plastic surgery at her own expense and neatly put in the car.

I am an idiot in life. The same parking permit, the treatment there will be a mess. Hanging out with her is basically regarded as a big head shrimp. For a while, I thought she was more worried than my mother.

She doesn't share my interests like A, but she made me understand that it is superficial to flaunt the connotation and ignore the facade.

B said, you are the simplest plan I have ever seen on the beach. Before, I never felt anything wrong with being plain. Under her influence, I realized for the first time that there is only a slight difference between natural relaxation and sloppy laziness. Being responsible for your appearance is the most basic attitude towards life.

That summer, under her dedicated guidance, I began to focus on creating external beauty, visited many surrounding shopping malls and brought back many bottles and cans.

B said again, have you ever seen a beautiful woman with glasses? As a result, I won back the TV set for half a year, but I'm still not used to wearing it every day, picking it every day, and there are still a lot of stocks.

B is a person who accepts new things easily. Later, she gradually merged into my hobby and began to try to read a few pages of books and listen to a concert or something. She called it a journey to open the soul.

It seems that we are complementary, right?

07

However, I have studied for too long, so don't get acquainted with anyone too quickly. At first, I was wary of this kind of communication and took it lightly. Besides, I haven't fully recovered from the pain caused by A. Besides, her personality and hobbies are quite different from mine. What's more, B and A are getting closer. ......

It was not until I saw Ade's Under the Cangshan Mountain in the ancient city of Dali that I naturally thought of bringing a copy to B, only to find that I had never thought of A, and she had completely replaced A's original position in my heart.

The second day after Yunnan came back, it was a tour of South Korea organized by the company. I took my daughter with me during the winter vacation. She was dragging a 29-inch suitcase to go shopping.

On the night of being informed of layoffs, we made an appointment to take our daughter to eat fried chicken.

Before I left, I was asked to talk in his room in an administrative and friendly way without a mobile phone. After a while, I heard B calling my name in the corridor.

I opened the door, poked my head out and said, wait a minute, I'll be ready in a minute.

While eating fried chicken, B was a little surprised to know that I was laid off, but there was no sign that she wanted to comfort me with her heart.

Sitting opposite her, I recalled what she said before: this is the workplace! A feeling of sadness gradually rose in my heart. I realized that this might be the last time we met. I didn't expect to say goodbye so soon.

A self-help tour was arranged on the second day. I got up late and she went out to play with her colleagues. Only my daughter and I stayed in the room until noon.

08

I thought I was rational. After careful consideration, I made a stupid decision and deleted her WeChat.

Have you ever deleted someone else's WeChat? In this information age, WeChat has become a way of life. We are used to brushing our circle of friends every day to understand the dynamics of our friends. As a result, it is easy to give up a friend. It seems that we can delete WeChat.

Remember your mood when you deleted WeChat?

In the evening, I dragged luggage belt and my daughter to the airport and never saw B again.

I cried twice.

Adults crying and children crying are never the same. Children cry because they want what they want, while adults cry because they have lost it forever.

I muttered to myself, God, have you considered my feelings when you hit someone? I used to live in my own world, but you made me go through one process after another: being concerned, being hollowed out, being ignored and being hit. Do you think I have too little experience? Is there something wrong with my aura?

A deep sense of abandonment hung over me, and I began to feel worthless. I don't have the confidence and interest to get in touch with the crowd outside, just looking for some comfort in chicken soup.

Who said that if you want to like a person, you just need to enlarge his shortcomings. Later, I followed suit, and simple and rude methods always worked.

09

There is an episode in the middle, but the plot is not reversed. The cruelty of life is that your mind can't help fantasizing about beautiful possibilities, but responds to your expectations with the truest silence. Once, I was very anxious. Later, anxiety slowly turned into fatigue, and then fatigue slowly turned into calm, and I began to feel relieved.

It doesn't matter what the truth is, what matters is that you know how to stop loss in time.

More importantly, can you learn from it and turn every blow into an opportunity to improve yourself?

If you must make a summary, then B will become a friend who can only look at the avatar and can't add it.

From anger to silence

I don't like being called a literary youth, but I can't deny the fact that I am a literary youth. Wen Qing is good at this kind of thing. However, it is not human nature to be depressed every day, and emotions sometimes need to be vented, especially in the first few days.

The quickest way to solve psychological problems is to blame others. When I was in the company, I successfully vented my dissatisfaction with A on another fake boss. Although I didn't mean to be against her, you are usually not interested in being against someone who can't get into your eyes.

However, this man tried to put pressure on me with an A many times. I'm afraid my depression has nowhere to vent. This is the rhythm of asking for abuse at home. Having a good temper doesn't mean I won't lose my temper. Young artists also curse.

Although I was later laid off, it may be related to this, but I don't regret the simple and rude scolding at the beginning. It was not only hearty, but also worthy of those scolding.

If you have a psychological burden, you just feel that your original words are a bit vulgar, which is detrimental to the cultivation of a literary youth. Thank this person for his immortal contribution to my emotional health, and his merits are boundless.

Some people say that you can talk to your friends. The premise of practicing this is that you have friends and relatives. This is no joke. Many people really can't find a friend to talk to sincerely.

Moreover, even if you have someone who is willing to listen to your catharsis patiently, don't just spit it out. No one wants to be your trash can all the time. Don't consume his feelings for you excessively, or your negative energy will soon drive him away.

Speaking is poisonous, so choose silence as much as possible. This does not show how mature you are, but it is a relatively good way to deal with it.

Don't think that anyone is born with a strong heart, but it's just tempered.

Sometimes, it's enough for you to trust reason.

Review and summary

We spend13 of our day at work, so we must develop various relationships with our colleagues. Sometimes, friends outside the scope of work can't understand our pressure, but colleagues feel the same way.

Most people have scruples about friendship at work, because it is always difficult to compare with daily friendship because of the existence of interest relationship.

Friendship between good friends is like old wine. The longer it takes, the more valuable it is. The friendship between good colleagues is not like this, and the length of understanding does not affect or determine the depth of friendship.

Once we are often difficult to get along with each other for various reasons, we will gradually alienate each other, but we will not feel too sorry for each other.

Why is the friendship established at work always as fragile as a glass vase? Is there true friendship in the workplace? If so, where is its bottom line? I think many people have had this kind of trouble, especially women.

Friendship in the workplace, in the final analysis, is to have reasonable and mature psychological expectations. According to my personal experience and subsequent recovery, I summarize as follows:

1, don't try to be friends with the boss, or you will die ugly.

2. It is very important that the RP values of both sides should be basically equal.

3. Respect each other and never touch each other's bottom line.

4, pay attention to the discretion, don't rely too much.

Keep a certain distance, don't rely too much on each other, don't expect too much, the other person is not your mother and won't spoil you.

5. Don't reveal personal privacy at will.

This article refers to women in particular. Women are always together to exchange feelings and discuss feelings. When they have no choice, they exchange secret invitations.

Remember, don't tell the secret to the wind, it will blow all over the forest.

6, into each other's hobbies, so that your topic will be more quality.

7. Feelings are equal. Don't take each other's goodness for granted.

In this naked commercial society, exchange of equal value is the most basic criterion.

8. Don't put your eggs in one basket, learn to develop scattered friendships.

In this way, you will not be too dependent on one person, which will help to cultivate your independence.

9. Finally, accept alienation and leave calmly.

If one day, my good friend leaves, it doesn't matter. You know, everyone can only walk with you for a while. You must learn to get along with yourself. You have no choice but to accept it.

Don't be afraid that there is nothing better to replace after losing it. Keep your pride, regret it and leave with a smile. I believe that time will bring you the right person.