Sanmao‖Wandering all my life, I only remember that piece of sand

Since the age of 13, she has been a typical patient with depression. She is sensitive and intelligent. ——Sanmao.

I am very ashamed. It was my first contact because in a TV series I was watching, the heroine mentioned her "Story of the Sahara" in a certain episode. The beautiful love story of two free souls made me The girl's heart is ready to move. Unexpectedly, after reading Sahara, I naturally fell in love with this arrogant and unruly female writer who has been wandering all her life.

Many times when I mention Sanmao to my friends, they will ask me in confusion, "Is it the Sanmao in "The Wanderings of Sanmao"?", or some friends know Sanmao but don't know her real name. .

Sanmao’s real name is Chen Maoping. According to Sanmao's father's recollection, Sanmao was very independent and indifferent when he was a child. Although he was a girl, he was very determined and showed no weakness compared to boys. One of the things that impressed my father the most was that Sanmao changed his name "on his own initiative" when his words were still incomplete.

When San Mao was learning to write, he could not learn to write the word "Mao" no matter what, so he took it upon himself to jump over and write his name as Chen Ping. Not only that, but they also moved "Chen's" left ear to the right. After several attempts, her parents had to surrender and let her change her name to Chen Ping.

Later on, why she was named "Sanmao"? According to her, she once said: "I originally gave this name because I liked Mr. Zhang Leping's "The Wanderings of Sanmao" (who later became my godfather); One reason is that what she writes is very ordinary and only worth thirty cents."

Sanmao also has an English name "Echo", which was when she met the teacher Gu Fusheng who changed her life. . My acquaintance with Gu Fusheng was entirely due to chance. After seeing the painting skills of my sister's friend Chen So, I became very curious in the future. After learning that I had learned oil painting from Gu Fusheng, Sanmao changed from his usual autistic attitude and asked who he wanted to be with. Get to know each other, get to know each other. With inexplicable persistence and courage, I went to study. He showed infinite patience and concern for her during the teaching, and never showed a trace of impatience. Even his tone was extremely gentle. Mentioning Gu Fusheng, Sanmao even wrote: Gu Fusheng at that time - alas - don't write about him! Some people, to me, the few people in the world, have no language or writing. He is too important in Sanmao's heart.

Echo - Echo. In Greek mythology, it is the name of the mountain goddess who is in love with Narcissus but cannot tell him. The echo traveled through the tunnel of time, through darkness and silence, and when it reached her, she had grown into a different kind of woman.

Sanmao’s college life came quickly, even in a hurry. When I met my first love, there was never a so-called ordinary afternoon where I held hands and drank a cup of coffee while passing by the street corner. Originally, I was just an ordinary reader of Chu Lian, but as I read more, I changed and thought more, and I couldn't help but fall into it. When she woke up, it was too late and she was already deeply poisoned.

However, love in this world cannot last forever with just one passion. There are too many things to consider. Until she threatened to go abroad to get a promise from him and a future for her, her first love ended. She really went to a distant country, and her first stop was Madrid, Spain.

That year, he was seventeen and a senior in high school, and she was twenty-four and a junior in college. The two of them met on a Christmas night at the same friend's house. Originally, they were just two strangers looking at each other from a distance. Unexpectedly, in the years that followed, they became each other's significant other, leaving us with a beautiful and desirable love story.

His name is Jose, which is also known as "José" to us. Sanmao named him for the convenience of writing. But in Sanmao's heart, she felt that he should be called "Hexi", because for Sanmao, Hexi was like a peaceful morning light falling in her heart, illuminating her whole soul. But Hexi felt that it was too difficult to write the word "xi" and he could not learn it, so Sanmao asked him to write the word "Hexi" that he called out casually.

After that meeting, Jose often came to see her. Sanmao also treated him as a younger brother. Although she could guess his affection, she didn't want to ruin the relationship between them. It was revealed until one day Jose told her that Sanmao should wait for her for six years and then they can get married after six years. He also told her his yearning for living together in the future. On this day, Sanmao made it clear to him cruelly and asked him to leave and not come back. And this miss was really six years away.

In the past six years, Sanmao has dated many boys, but none of them had the desire to live together. Except for the German man who died of a heart attack on the eve of his wedding. After the accident, a heart that was already riddled with holes was as broken as a flower. The green mountains serve as the curtain and the flowing water serves as the platform. She stepped out of the dust, picked up her luggage, and left her homeland again. Six years later, she returned to Spain again. This time, she no longer felt the pain of separation. Inexplicably, she felt familiar and even missed in this land.

By chance, she went to her adoptive father's house to visit her sister, who met Jose. The sister told her that her brother Jose was currently serving in the army in the south and would be back in a few months. She also repeatedly asked her to I want to write a letter to my brother to comfort him. Sanmao just hurriedly wrote "José, I'm back!".

But Sanmao forgot that Jose didn't understand English. Jose was excited and anxious when he received the letter, because no one could tell him what the letter said after he searched everyone.

The next day, a girlfriend called and said that there was something urgent that required Sanmao to go to her home for an interview. After arriving, her girlfriend introduced her into her home and asked her to close her eyes. Sanmao thought it was a prank and agreed. When San Mao opened his eyes, what he saw was He Xi who had been waiting for her even though he was separated by thousands of mountains and rivers. He was now tall and strong, full of masculine charm.

One afternoon, Jose took her to visit his home. When I came to his chic but lonely room in the dim sunlight, I pointed at the yellowed old photos covering the mottled old wall, all of which were San Mao. Sanmao knew that he had never sent him any photos, so he asked him where he found them. He said that he had stolen them all from his friend's house, enlarged them in a photo studio, and then returned the photos. His good intentions were just I want to leave something related to her.

Sanmao finally took the initiative to speak this time. She asked Jose, "Do you still remember what you said six years ago? Do you still want to get married? If I agree to you now, will it be too late?" "No, no, no." At this time, Jose was already in tears.

The days when Sanmao and Jose were together, no matter how bitter they were, were sweet at the same time. They were the happiest times in life.

My mother who lives far away in Taiwan sent a lot of food because she missed her daughter living in Africa. One of the dishes was "Chicken Soup with Vermicelli". Jose didn't know the vermicelli, so Sanmao teased him on a whim and lied that the vermicelli was spring rain because it was frozen one by one in the high mountains. Selling down the mountain. Hexi was stunned when he heard this, and Sanmao was secretly proud. But over time, Hexi also knew that Sanmao was lying to him, but he found it very interesting.

The most beautiful love story I have ever heard is the conversation between Jose and Sanmao.

Jose: Do you have to marry a rich man? Sanmao: If I don’t love him, I won’t marry him even if he is a millionaire. If I love him, I will marry him even if he is a multimillionaire. ? Jose:. . . After all, you still have to marry a rich man. ? Sanmao: There are exceptions. Jose: What if you follow me? Sanmao: As long as you have enough money to eat, forget it. ? Jose thought for a moment: Do you eat too much? Sanmao answered very carefully: Not much, not much. You can eat less in the future.

The good times are always so short, there is never an exception. In 1979, San Mao, who was accompanying her parents in London, received a notification that something had happened to Jose at night. It was the second day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, the day when thousands of families were reunited, but San Mao was forever separated from her beloved Jose. Jose's promise to go to Taiwan next year has sunk into the bottom of the sea forever with him.

In the days after losing Jose, Sanmao lived like a zombie every day. She didn't care about everything around her, even her parents. She was immersed in grief and couldn't escape. A long period of time passed. With the support and care of her parents, Sanmao began to prepare to start a new life alone in this world.

She chose to teach in a college. The children made her feel relaxed and the students liked her very much. One day, she received an anonymous letter under the door of her dormitory. The handwriting looked familiar. She guessed it was written by a student. It said: "Teacher, you'd better leave! How many people here really understand you?" Several batches of Tao Taoran were educated in Taiwan, but they didn't know how to take root in foreign lands and find happiness. Naturally, I can't hate you for leaving."

Everyone knows about Sanmao and Jose, including the students. It's not that Sanmao doesn't want to go, it's just that he doesn't know where to go. He doesn't have a clear direction. He only knows that he should travel far, but he doesn't know where his destination will be.

I like Sanmao, not only for her writing, but also for her temperament. She has pursued freedom all her life, is free and unrestrained, talented, does not stick to worldly views, and only pursues what her heart desires. Wandering in the desert and bowing her head in the years, her story has been passed down thousands of times. Also because she fell in love with the Sahara and the charming Spain.

January 1991 was just the most ordinary day. Everyone was living step by step as usual, welcoming the new day. However, dear Sanmao stayed in that morning forever.

Life is like an article, it will come to an end one day. Everyone's life is a unique article. It's a blessing to meet someone who understands it. Don't be sad if you don't.

Maybe you can’t meet Jose, but you can meet me.