My personal experience: Can anxiety be cured?

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. This is a classic line in the movie Forrest Gump, which means that life is full of uncertainty and infinite possibilities.

One day, I ate a chocolate called "anxiety disorder", and since then, my life has been shrouded in gloom. It took root and sprouted in my heart, lingering; It has buried many obstacles in my life journey; It makes my life full of anxiety, pain and unwillingness.

The road of life is always bumpy and long. My road to treating "anxiety disorder" is not only tortuous, but also extremely steep. Even in the process of moving forward, I am not sure whether this road has an end, and I can only move forward with a little hope.

After I tried various treatments, "anxiety disorder" is still easy to recur, and my mood changes from hopeful to tired or even desperate.

Many questions may have no answers at the moment, and there may be no clear, affirmative and correct answers, but as long as you drive on the right road and keep moving forward, you can reach the finish line.

After experiencing confusion, helplessness and despair, I stood up again. As the saying goes, "Everything in life is bitter, and you get seek fortune for oneself". After careful consideration, I decided to become my own psychotherapist-that is, I want to save myself.

I have studied various books about anxiety, psychology and China's philosophy for several years, practiced my own understanding, and gradually found a suitable road to recovery. As time went on, my anxiety symptoms gradually weakened. Finally, one day, I found that "anxiety" quietly recovered.

Everyone's life experience is a record of life and valuable information. Sometimes this information can bring inspiration to others. It is precisely because I deeply understand the pain and difficulty of "anxiety disorder" that I want to share my story with you, hoping that you can find a suitable rehabilitation method for yourself.

May my story bring you some light.

I was born in a small city in the south, and my family was well off. My parents were very kind to me, and I spent my childhood carefree.

I have some negative personality tendencies since I was a child, such as inferiority, insecurity, sentimentality and perfectionism. These negative personality tendencies have penetrated into my life, affecting my mood and behavior, which may be the fuse for me to suffer from "anxiety disorder" in the future.

One thing that troubled my high school career well explained my inferiority complex and perfectionism tendency.

Because my hair is "naturally curly", my hair styles in primary and junior high schools are all "inch boards". When I was a freshman in high school, I wanted to cut an elegant "broken hair" under the influence of the trend of the year. But after I left my hair long, I found it was getting more and more curly, not to mention the elegant medium-long "broken hair", and even a slightly longer hairstyle could not be cut.

Many times, the more you can't get it, the more you want it.

At that time, I thought that my face value would be much higher as long as my medium-length "broken hair" was cut, but "natural curls" were born and could not be changed, so this was an insoluble contradiction.

At that time, I was often worried that my classmates would talk about my "nature paper"; I often envy some male students' elegant "broken hair" and get tired of their "natural curly hair"; I don't even want to see myself in the mirror.

Throughout my high school career, I was tired of making a "natural paper" and thought it made me unattractive. It seems that there is no "natural volume" in my life, then my life will be happy and there will be no more troubles.

This seemingly "ordinary" thing had a great influence on me, deepened my sense of inferiority, and immersed my high school career in anxiety and trouble.

When I was a freshman, I had symptoms of mild anxiety and frequent urination. It's just that "anxiety disorder" is hidden and misleading, and I have been kept in the dark.

When I was a freshman, I found that I often had to pee every 40 minutes. I obviously felt that there was something wrong with my urinary system and embarked on a bumpy road of seeking medical treatment.

I was studying in Chongqing at that time. In order to treat "frequent urination", I found many urologists in Chongqing and examined the whole urinary system in the hospital. All necessary and feasible tests have been done, and the result is that the urinary system is completely healthy and there is no slight inflammation.

The urinary system is very healthy, only the symptoms of "frequent urination", and experts can't do anything about it. They only prescribe some drugs to relieve "frequent urination".

As time goes by, my symptoms of frequent urination are still not getting better, and I am very anxious every day. Frequent urination erodes my life day after day, but there is nothing I can do. In this way, I spent three years repeatedly seeking medical treatment, but it didn't work.

In my senior year, in order to cure frequent urination, I decided to try my luck in Shanghai-in my mind, Shanghai's medical level is one of the best in the country.

After a long-term trip to Shanghai, the urinary system is still very healthy after examination by urologists.

The expert explained to me: "The examination results prove that your urinary system is very healthy, and your original examination results in Chongqing can also be confirmed. At present, you should be functional "frequent urination"-that is, excluding "frequent urination" caused by pathological factors. According to the existing medical technology, there is no particularly effective method to treat functional "frequent urination". I suggest you go home and adjust yourself to see if you can improve. "

This diagnosis completely ruined my hope, and even the two big cities, Shanghai and Chongqing, could do nothing, so curing "frequent urination" became a luxury!

I was already disheartened, and I really wanted to find a place where no one could cry and vent my haze.

At that moment, I finally felt the hardship and helplessness of life: not only was I tortured by frequent urination for three years; And I have been seeking medical treatment for 3 years, and I can't even find the cause.

As the saying goes, "the house leaks when it rains all night, and the ship meets the headwind late." This trip to Shanghai, not only the hope of curing frequent urination was dashed, but also an accident happened, which led to the complete outbreak of my anxiety.

Here's the thing.

I suffered from "dry eye" two years ago, which is difficult to cure, but it has little impact on my life. That day, I was very depressed after watching Frequent Urination in a hospital in Shanghai. By the way, I had a reexamination of "dry eye" in this hospital, prepared to prescribe some "artificial tears" for daily use, and then went back to school.

Unexpectedly, the routine inspection in imagination was unexpected. After examination by an ophthalmologist, I found that my intraocular pressure is very high, and I need to check whether there is glaucoma after one week. At that time, the ophthalmologist didn't say much, only asked me to give him the inspection report a week later, and then we'll talk about it as the case may be.

Back at the hotel, I became suspicious and went to Baidu to inquire about "glaucoma". I was horrified to find the conclusion that "glaucoma" is one of the three major eye diseases leading to blindness, and the visual function damage caused by "glaucoma" is irreversible, with serious consequences and the possibility of blindness.

I saw the serious consequences of glaucoma, as if my whole life were about to collapse. At this young age, not only is it hopeless to cure frequent urination, but now it is suspected to be glaucoma. It never rains but it pours.

How I wish I could erect an empty barrier to stop the surging sadness.

"Glaucoma" incident is "the last straw to crush a camel".

At this moment, my "anxiety" was ignited, and then it broke out completely. I feel intense anxiety and fear. Nervousness is accompanied by rapid heartbeat, and nothing can calm me down. It seems that there is a huge stone in my heart, and I can't even breathe smoothly; It seems that the end of the world is coming, and it will ruin everything for me.

I stayed in Shanghai for a week with such anxiety and panic. Fortunately, I went to the hospital for reexamination a week later, and the diagnosis was not "glaucoma". The doctor explained that it should be because I drank too much water before the intraocular pressure examination, which caused the intraocular pressure to be temporarily high.

The road to seeking medical treatment in Shanghai ended in a thrilling way. Although frequent urination is hopeless, I am psychologically prepared. The "glaucoma" incident was a complete false alarm.

At this time, I was still in the dark and didn't know that I had fallen into the whirlpool of "anxiety". ?

After I returned to school, I was still very anxious every day, as if misfortune was coming to me, and I was very nervous. In addition, there are also problems with sleep, and it is often difficult to fall asleep at night. Even if you fall asleep, it's a light sleep.

I thought that after a while, this uncomfortable state would disappear by itself. However, after a few weeks, the discomfort continued.

I am worried that my body will collapse in the long run, so I often check the reasons behind these symptoms online.

One day I read an article about "anxiety". After comparison, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my symptoms basically accord with "anxiety disorder". This made me see the light again.

I asked the school counselor for sick leave and went to Shanghai Mental Health Center accompanied by my family. Sure enough, he was diagnosed by psychological outpatient experts, with moderate stress "anxiety" and mild "depression", and was treated with drugs.

After 2 weeks, the drug began to produce good curative effect. Persistent tension and anxiety have basically disappeared; Sleep gradually returned to normal; The "frequent urination" that has troubled me for many years has also improved significantly.

Everything seems to be moving in the right direction. Gradually, my life has returned to the long-lost peace. ?

Two years have passed, during which I have been taking drugs, and my "anxiety" has been well controlled.

In the past two years, under the guidance of doctors, I gradually reduced my medication and finally stopped taking it. In the past two years, my life was very happy. I experienced healthy happiness, and I forgot the pain when I was sick. I ended my college career in these two years and went to work in a bank.

At that time, the work was very busy, but it was also very fulfilling. I naively thought that "anxiety disorder" had been cured, and even thought that "anxiety disorder" was nothing more than that.

What should happen will happen, and there is nowhere to escape.

It may be that the work pressure was too great during that time; It may be that some interpersonal relationships are not handled properly; It could be another stress event. In short, after six months of drug withdrawal, my "anxiety disorder" recurred.

I went to the psychological clinic again, and the expert explained to me: "Psychological diseases such as anxiety disorder, which are treated only by drugs, are sometimes prone to relapse. He suggested that I can try psychological counseling, which will be more stable and not easy to relapse after cure. "

Difficulties in life must be solved, and escape is not the way after all.

In order to completely cure "anxiety disorder", I have weekly psychological consultation in the local 3A hospital. After several consultations, the effect is not good.

Psychological counselors mainly listen to me to vent my troubles, and then comfort me to look down on everything, live in the present, life is not easy, and learn to let go. There is no further analysis and solution. The process of counseling is like venting your troubles with friends. Although counseling can relieve anxiety a little, it has little effect. On second thought, I won't go any more.

A few months later, relatives heard that there was a good psychological counselor, and the treatment effect was very good, and online video consultation was available, but the consultation cost was very high (1 hour 2000 yuan). He gave me the phone number of the counselor's studio and asked me to ask about the situation.

I have been completely convinced by anxiety, even if the chance is slim, I decided to try again.

Unexpectedly, this psychological consultation was better than expected. The psychological counselor helped me to make a solution to the stress event and implement it; Emphasize the importance of positive cognition; Teach me how to recognize the wrong cognition and make a reasonable response to it to promote the change of cognition and behavior; Arrange exercises every day to consolidate the therapeutic effect.

After more than a dozen psychological consultations, the effect is quite good. I accepted or solved several stressful events that usually bothered me; I have a deeper understanding of anxiety; I found some wrong ideas and corrected them.

At this time, I consider that "anxiety disorder" has been basically controlled, and no drugs are needed; For a long time, the cost of psychological counseling was beyond my affordability. So after consulting a psychological counselor, I stopped consulting.

In a blink of an eye, two years have passed, during which my "anxiety disorder" is relatively stable, only occasionally repeated, but the symptoms are mild and have little impact on my life, so I didn't care.

Unexpectedly, after two years, because of an important job, the lingering "anxiety" came into my life again.

One day, the president arranged for me to be in charge of a very important loan project with a large amount, complex structure and tight time. The president repeatedly told me not to make mistakes and reported the progress of the project to him every day.

This is the first time I have encountered this kind of loan project, and I have no experience at all. This project is not only very complicated, but also involves many details, and it is easy to make mistakes if you don't pay attention.

During that time, I was a little at a loss. Working overtime every day, I still feel that time is not enough; Every day before work, I will check the loan information, and there are still various minor mistakes; I am very anxious every day, and I have to smile and continue to work.

In this state of constant anxiety, I not only suffered from anxiety again, but also had symptoms of diarrhea and abdominal pain-I didn't know that diarrhea and abdominal pain were also caused by anxiety.

A month later, I completed the loan project with a slight advantage. However, anxiety, diarrhea and abdominal pain have not disappeared.

The symptoms of diarrhea and abdominal pain have not been alleviated, and I began to worry about my digestive system diseases.

Find a free working day and go to the gastroenterology clinic of the hospital. After the examination, I was diagnosed as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Like frequent urination at that time, my digestive system is healthy and belongs to functional symptoms.

When the doctor realized that I was anxious recently, he directly judged that my diarrhea and abdominal pain were caused by anxiety. And explained to me: "drugs can only control the symptoms of diarrhea and abdominal pain, and anxiety is the cause." When anxiety is cured, diarrhea and abdominal pain will naturally disappear. "

As the doctor said, my diarrhea and abdominal pain disappeared soon after medication, and it won't be long before I stop taking the medicine.

Sure enough, my anxiety was not completely cured. When you encounter a major stress event, if you can't deal with it calmly, you may not only relapse again, but also have new physical symptoms.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety for six years. During this period, medication and psychotherapy were used intermittently. Although they are effective, they cannot be completely cured. "Anxiety disorder" has been hidden in the dark in some form, and may "bite" me at any time when I am unprepared.

The recurrence of this "anxiety disorder" made me start to think about a question: how can we cure the "anxiety disorder"? Or, how can we control the "anxiety disorder" to an acceptable level and make it difficult to relapse?

After a period of thinking and consulting information, my answer is: "You need to tie the bell to solve the problem, and you need a cardiologist to treat your heart disease." Only by becoming your own psychotherapist can you cure anxiety, or control it to an acceptable level, and it is difficult to relapse.

Why?

Because drug therapy and psychotherapy are effective, but after drug withdrawal or psychotherapy, they may still relapse when they encounter new major stress events.

The logic of "I become my own psychotherapist" is very similar to the story of "It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish". The reason is simple: fish is the purpose and fishing is the means. A fish can solve temporary hunger, but it can't solve long-term hunger. If you want to have fish to eat in the future, you must really learn how to fish.

Take me as an example:

In my life, things I encounter are constantly changing. For example, two years ago, psychotherapy helped me accept or solve the stress events two years ago. At that time, no stress events bothered me, and "anxiety" was naturally controlled.

But I always stop medication or psychotherapy. As time goes on, there will definitely be new stress events, which are completely different from those I have encountered. At this time, if you can't handle it calmly, it is possible to make "anxiety disorder" relapse again.

Suppose I know enough about "anxiety disorder" and understand its operating rules; Suppose I encounter a stressful event, I can see the essence clearly and solve it rationally; Suppose I can identify the wrong cognition that affects my emotions and correct it, and establish a reasonable belief in life.

At this time, I can become my own psychotherapist, and at the same time, my heart will become strong and I can cope with new stress events calmly.

When I can do this, "anxiety disorder" will naturally get better, and it is difficult to recur.

This is my understanding of the way to cure "Ben".

The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. I began to spend a lot of time studying "anxiety disorder" after work. Apart from work, business trip and travel, I just read, think, understand and train (practice) behind closed doors and live a simple and fulfilling life.

Not only study "Anxiety Disorder" and psychological related works; At the same time, it is found that "cultivating the mind" emphasized by China's philosophy is very helpful to "identify and correct wrong cognition and rebuild rational cognitive structure", so it is necessary to study China's philosophical works such as Taoism, Confucianism, psychology and Zen.

With the passage of time, I have a deeper understanding of "anxiety disorder" and established a treatment system suitable for me. Gradually, I feel that the ice-like "anxiety disorder" is melting and starting to enter a virtuous circle.

At first, my "anxiety disorder" was unstable, sometimes relieved, sometimes severe and recurrent. After a period of hard work, my "anxiety" has obviously eased, but I feel that I have reached a "bottleneck period" and it is difficult to make long-term progress. At this point, I still insist on learning, understanding and training (practice) every day.

When my accumulation reached the node of qualitative change, I finally broke through.

After three years of hard work, my "anxiety disorder" has basically recovered, and I rarely notice the traces of "anxiety disorder".

These three years have not only scientific thinking methods formed by academic training, but also practical experience of "cognitive" training and daily meditation (meditation). The unique treatment has made me confident and rational, and my heart has also become strong.

My "anxiety disorder" treatment process has gone through nine years, which can be described as ups and downs, twists and turns. But so what?

The characteristic of everything is change itself, and so is life.

Everyone will encounter different difficulties. I have an anxiety disorder. Although it has brought me a lot of pain, it has also brought me opportunities for spiritual growth and motivation to change myself.

Therefore, it is "bad" to encounter "anxiety"; But perhaps, this also indirectly brought me "benefits."

There is only one life, and enjoying life is more important than anything else!

In the future, I will try to do something that I think is valuable, spend more time with myself, my family and the scenery along the way.

I finally broke away from the criss-crossing "giant net" woven by "anxiety disorder" and regained my long-lost freedom!

? -End-