What is the original text of Yu's Distant Voice?

I have been afraid to write about that era and those characters.

Not only did I dare not write, I even dared not stare. Sometimes, I wonder if they really exist. Yes If I don't doubt, then I will doubt many people at many other times. I had secretly judged that if they really existed, they could not represent China. But every time I face those in the history of world civilization? When we are ashamed, we always want to tell those stories about them to foreign friends. Can foreign friends really understand these stories? It seems difficult. Therefore, only these stories can represent China. They can represent China but seem strange and lonely in China. Is it their fault or China's fault? I don't know.

Like a strange wind, it has long passed, but it has frightened the whole earth and is fresh in its memory. Even the words given to it by linguists in past dynasties are indispensable: romance, grace, Shen Feng, amorous feelings and charm ... Indeed, this is a strange wind. Having said that, readers have understood that I am talking about Wei and Jin Dynasties. I've been avoiding it because it hurts my spirit. This is another world of mind and personality. Even if we just look up, we will compare the mediocrity of everything we are used to. Mediocrity, which we are used to now, will bring stability. It seems to be our profession and mission to talk about various cultural phenomena that we can control within ourselves. Sometimes I think, since my heart can control it, what's the point of talking about it? But what really shocked me and made me feel strange, after all, according to my temperament and age, I would shrink back and hesitate.

I chatted with a graduate student half a year ago and accidentally talked about the "romance" in China culture. I suddenly mentioned to him a sentence from my predecessors: what can really be called romance is "Tang poetry in the late Wei and Jin Dynasties". Graduate students seem to have a deep understanding when their eyes shine. Several graduate students I took were university teachers before applying for the exam, and their cultural background was not thin, so after several meetings, Wei and Jin figures became an unavoidable topic. Every time I talk about it, there is always an inexplicable surge in my heart, but I can't figure it out every time.

Not long ago, I received a masterpiece "Wei Jin demeanor" by Dr. Tang, an associate professor at Taiwan Province University of Chinese Culture. Mr. Tang wrote on the title page of the book that he read one of my books in Taipei. "I was surprised. I didn't expect to hear the beginning voice again today." Mr. Tang's so-called "initial sound" refers to the dripping and mysterious talks of celebrities in Wei and Jin Dynasties at the beginning. Of course, Mr. Tang is flattering me, but I can't help thinking with his inscription: Maybe I don't know when we have had a silent communication with the object we are afraid of. So, let's go a little deeper. I straightened up at my desk, paused, and gently spread out the manuscript paper. Never has an article made me so stiff.

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This is a real troubled times. A number of veritable heroes of iron and blood have emerged, spreading a strong will to life and popularizing the political logic of "the winner is king and the loser is the enemy". Even the obscure alleys were stunned by shock, worship, peep and excitement. Suddenly, heroes died one after another, and dragons lived among them for most of their lives. They are about the same age, so they always leave this world at the same time. Like suddenly breaking free from the tight rope, history suddenly becomes slack, but it shakes violently again. The passion left by the hero is still there, the descendants are still there, the subordinates are still there, and the cronies are still there, but the giant who controls all this has withered in the dark grave; At the same time, all kinds of social forces that were concealed and subdued by the great power of heroes in the past suddenly surged again, fighting for power and status for themselves. The collision of these two forces has lowered several social values compared with the majesty of heroes. Thus, the grand vision is gone, the magnificent battle is gone, and the poetry of history is gone. Instead, it is intrigue, collusion and opportunism. Instead, it is politics, rebellion and murder. At the beginning, the heroes will also play all this, but this play stops at playing, and their struggle theme is still loud and full of personality charm. When the hero dies, all means become the theme, and history loses its soul that can be put on the table and enters a disorderly state. Authoritarian order will brew darkness, and chaos and disorder will also brew darkness. When we are used to talking about troubled times, we mean disorderly darkness. Wei and Jin Dynasties were such a chaotic and dark "post-heroic period". After all, Cao Cao is a tough guy hero, but as he himself said, "Although turtles have a long life, they happen from time to time and eventually turn to dust." He died at the age of 66. In principle, he has 25 sons, including talented Cao Pi and Cao Zhi, who should be able to safely pass on Cao Zhi's inheritance from generation to generation. However, as we all know, things have just developed to the point where people feel sad to see Cao Pi and Cao Zhi. How can they have more power to deal with political opponents outside the family? Before long, Sima Group defeated Cao Shi Group, and Cao Cao's achievements were completely destroyed. Among them, the most pitiful are those literati and celebrities who have more or less political enthusiasm. They are most easily attracted by heroic personality. Moreover, among these heroes and their families, there are some great intellectuals with brilliant literary talents, and naturally a group of literati has formed around them. In the fierce political struggle, these literati and celebrities became ghosts by the sword and died worse than politicians.

I have been thinking, why are the lives of literati and celebrities so worthless in the troubled times of Wei and Jin Dynasties? The result of thinking is that it seems worthless precisely because it is too valuable. At that time, a large number of scholars and celebrities inherited philosophy, sociology, political science and military science since the Spring and Autumn Period, the Warring States Period and the Qin and Han Dynasties, and they were able to effectively assist various political groups with their actual intellectual level and broad social prestige. So wooing them is often related to the taste and success or failure of political groups; We killed them because we were really afraid of them and prevented them from working for other political groups. In contrast, the individual personality image of Confucian scholars deceived by Qin Shihuang is still vague, while the intellectuals killed in Wei and Jin Dynasties are different in all aspects. They have long been real celebrities, and their surnames, deeds, personalities and reputations have infiltrated the land of China and the history of civilization with their blood. Nothing is more painful than this; The horror of history is nothing more than this. The founder, philosopher, poet and counselor of metaphysics was killed; Politician, poet and naturalist Zhang Hua was killed; Pan Yue, a poet as famous as Lu Ji, the most famous handsome man in ancient China, was killed. Xie Lingyun, the originator of China's ancient landscape poems, has been strangled by many first-class poets living in people's mouths for thousands of years. Ye Fan, an outstanding historian who wrote the magnificent historical masterpiece The Book of the Later Han Dynasty, was killed. …………

This list may be very long. There are many crimes to kill them, but no one can save them and defend them. Everyone is indifferent to their death, maybe for a few days, but there is a lot of murderous around, and no one dares to talk more. Times have changed, and new confusion and confusion are in front of people, and the interest in turning over old accounts has long been boring. Thus, in ancient China, the mass killing of cultural celebrities never caused much social unrest, and even the writing style of future generations when writing these things in the annals was as calm as an ancient well. What really can't be calm is those celebrities who bowed their heads and dodged a bullet on the edge of a pool of blood. It is natural to frighten a group, be vulgar, be timid, be smooth, defect, and be silent. People are very fragile, and they can't be deeply blamed from the body structure to the nervous system. However, after all, some people have recovered from the shock and re-examined philosophy, history and lifestyle. Therefore, a unique way of life stands out from the squeeze of darkness, chaos and blood.

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At that time, Cao Cao had a well-educated and trustworthy employee named Ruan, and he gave birth to a son named Ruan Ji. When Cao Cao died, Ruan Ji was just ten years old and was destined to face the troubled times of "post-heroic period", witnessing so much blood and head. Unfortunately, he is full of sense of history and culture, and we can't know how much pain he will suffer inside. We only know that Ruan Ji likes to wander alone in a wooden car, which carries wine and drives forward without direction. The dirt road is uneven, the wooden cart is bumpy, the jar is shaking, and his hand is shaking the reins. Suddenly, the horse stopped. He looked intently, and the road came to an end. Is there really no way out? He asked himself in a hoarse voice, and there were tears in his eyes. Finally, sobbing turned into crying, crying enough, pulling the reins back and looking for another way out. At the end of the other road, he cried again. Walking and crying all the way, no one heard him among the weeds, and he only cried to himself. One day, he came to Guangwu Mountain in Xingyang, Henan Province. He knew that this was the fiercest struggle between Chu and Han. There are ancient city ruins on the mountain, Xiang Yu in Dongcheng Tun and Liu Bang in Xicheng Tun, separated by 200 steps, and a river of light and fog flows. The river is gurgling, the city base is barren, the wind is mighty, and the leaves are all over the mountain. Ruan Ji lingered for a long time and sighed, "There were no heroes in those days, but the vertical son became famous!" "His sigh somehow spread all over the world. Perhaps because of the long journey that day, he made an exception and brought a colleague? Or where did he record this exclamation himself? In any case, this exclamation has become the common aspiration of many historical figures with heroic dreams and loneliness in the next Millennium. Until the 20th century, the lonely Lu Xun also quoted it. Mao Zedong found it while reading Lu Xun's book, and it was also written into a more lonely letter from home. Lu Xun quoted from memory and misremembered two words, so did Mao Zedong. The question is, who does Ruan Ji's sigh point to? It may refer to Liu Bang. Liu Bang won the battle between Chu and Han because his opponent Xiang Yu was not a real hero. In an era when there is no real hero, you can only make a trivial boy famous. May refer to Liu Bang and Xiang Yu at the same time. Because what he sighed was "fame" rather than "victory", Liu Hexiang was successful regardless of the outcome. In his opinion, they don't deserve to be famous, nor are they heroes. Maybe even the other way around. He admitted that Liu Bang and Xiang Yu were heroes, but they were long gone, leaving these little people in vain. Facing the remains of Liu Hexiang, he lamented the scarcity of this world. It seems that this is how Su Dongpo understands it. A friend once asked him: Ruan Ji said, "When there is no hero, make a son famous.". Does "vertical shaft" mean Liu Bang? Su Dongpo replied: "No, there was no Liu and no neck when he was injured." The upright refers to the ears in Wei and Jin Dynasties. "Since the opposite understanding makes sense, we can only treat this sentence with a more detached attitude. I believe that Guangwushan's practice of Ruan Ji is even more boring. In ancient China, it was an important event in the life of literati to pay homage to historical sites. In the interweaving of history and geography, lightning-fast life perception even transformed a person. It should be dusk. After leaving Guangwu Mountain, Ruan Ji's wooden cart walked slower and slower in the sunset and hay. This time, he stopped crying, but there was still a gloomy airflow rushing to his throat and mouth. He vomited very long and his tone was rich and melodious. Throat and nasal sound rolled a few times, and finally the sound gathered between the lips and teeth, becoming a whisper floating in the evening wind. This whistle is not harsh, but it is tactfully high. This is also a way of singing. Ruan Ji has heard others say that it seems to be called "Xiao". Xiao doesn't undertake the actual content, doesn't follow the established format, and just confides one school of character and one tone at will, so it is especially suitable for celebrities in troubled times. You can't catch anything with a roar, but everything is in it. On this day, Ruan Ji really realized the thick smell of wooden cars whistling, and the beautiful and lonely voice echoed in the night sky. For Ruan Ji, a more important mountain is Sumen Mountain. Sumenshan is in Huixian County, Henan Province. At that time, the famous hermit Sun Deng lived here in seclusion. Sumen Mountain is famous for Sun Deng, and Sun Deng is often called Mr Sumen. After Ruan Ji went up the mountain, he squatted in front of Sun Deng and asked him a series of important historical and philosophical questions, but Sun Deng didn't seem to hear anything and didn't even turn his eyes. Ruan Ji looked at Sun Deng like a clay sculpture, and suddenly realized how boring his major problems were. Then cut it off quickly Maybe another vocabulary system can communicate with the master in front of you? As if shaken by a magical force, he screamed slowly. Whistle for a while, then look at Sun Deng. Sun Deng commented on him with a smile and said, "Do it again. "Ruan Ji listened to, hurriedly stood up and denounced the mountain cloud for half a day. Whistling around the circle, Sun Deng was calm and calm again. He knew that he had finished an exchange with the master, and his trip was not in vain. Ruan Ji went down the mountain, a little happy and a little at a loss. But just halfway up the mountain, a miracle happened. If music is playing, if Brahma is playing, if all the birds are singing, an unimaginable music suddenly overflows between the forests and valleys in Shan Ye. Ruan Ji was dazed for a moment, and immediately realized that this was the howling of Master Sun Deng, brilliant and holy, and I didn't know where my own howling was comparable. But master Sun Deng obviously didn't want to compete with him, but answered all his historical and philosophical questions. Ruan Ji looked up and listened until the howling ended. Then I hurried home and wrote a biography of Mr. Adult. He learned what an adult is from Sun Deng. What a ridiculous gentleman. Heaven and earth are constantly changing. What manners can a gentleman adhere to? After all, a self-righteous gentleman practicing etiquette is like a louse parasitic in his crotch. Crawling around can't get out of the crotch seam, but also advertises obeying the rules; Take a bite when you're hungry, thinking you've found some Feng Shui house. This article is so spicy that we can know how he will express himself.

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In all fairness, Ruan Ji's political experience in his life is not sinister, so his strange behavior can't be regarded as straightforward political resistance. Zhijie's political resistance, no matter how heroic and fierce, only belongs to the political category. Ruan Ji seems determined to make a new scene in his life form and lifestyle. He witnessed the cruelty of political struggle with his own eyes, but in his view, since neither side is a heroic act, he will not seriously judge who is right or wrong. Do we have to use new blood to describe the lesson of blood? No, he woke up violently to the extreme humbleness and preciousness of life in the new graves of a group of scholars and celebrities he knew and didn't know. He bent down and stretched out his hands to get back a little autonomy and freedom in the name of life. He has been to Guangwu Mountain and Suman, seen the ruins and heard the howling. He is already a unique person, close to his "adult". People will say that he is eccentric, but in his eyes, it is really eccentric to be born a big living person but live like a louse. As a louse, it is strange to look at people gloomily. The first thing that makes people feel weird is probably his attitude towards officialdom. For the people of China in the past dynasties, it is understandable to covet officialdom, avoid officialdom, rectify officialdom and fight against officialdom, but Ruan Ji gave officialdom a free and easy game, which made everyone feel very strange. Ruan Ji escaped from office, but he did not completely hide. Sometimes I get impulsive. It happened that during the regime change, he not only saved his life, but was also regarded as a political visionary, but actually misunderstood him. For example, Cao Shuang asked him to be an official. He said that he was in poor health and lived in seclusion in the country. A year later, Cao Shuang fell, involving many celebrities, and he was safe and sound; But the winning Si Mazhao wanted to marry him. Every time he went to his house as a matchmaker, he was drunk for two months, and his idea of getting married fell through. Once, he casually said to Si Mazhao, "I have been to Dongping, Shandong Province, and I like the local people there very much. I looked around for a long time and immediately ordered the overlapping walls of government offices to be torn down, so that officials who used to work alone in their respective rooms were suddenly placed in a bright environment where they could supervise and communicate with each other inside and outside, and the office content and efficiency suddenly changed. This move can be said to be a "bull's nose" even from the perspective of today's administration more than a thousand years later. Isn't the office space of many modern enterprises in the world a collective atmosphere of pursuing high transparency? But we Ruan Ji just rode on the donkey's back and thought about it. In addition, he drastically simplified the laws and regulations, and everyone believed in it and fully complied with it. He felt that Dongping's work had been finished, and he rode a donkey back to Luoyang. He calculated that he always stayed in Dongping for more than ten days. Later generations said that Ruan Ji worked hard all his life, that is, more than ten days. Li Bai, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, admired Ruan Ji's dashing efforts to become an official. He once wrote a poem: Ruan Ji was a satrap and rode a donkey to Dongping. Sentenced to bamboo for more than ten days, once the wind clears. It only took more than ten days, leaving an open and honest Dongping. For Ruan Ji, this is just a play, so beautiful that countless bureaucrats who are old in business and doing nothing suddenly look embarrassed. In the middle of the year, he suddenly proposed to be an officer and made it clear that he would be a captain of the northern army infantry. However, the only reason he asked for this position was that the chef in the infantry captain's barracks was very good at making wine. He found that there were 300 bottles of welcome wine in the warehouse. After arriving, I don't care about anything but drinking. In ancient China, many officials drank too much, and many drank too much to spoil the broth. However, Ruan Ji is so ostentatious, purely for the welcome wine in the warehouse, which is really unique. When you knock on the golden seal, it opens a fragrant wine cellar, and the so-called "Wei and Jin demeanor" floats out from here. In addition to his attitude towards officialdom, what makes Ruan Ji strange is his contempt for ethics. For example, as we all know, ethical codes are extremely strict in preventing men and women from communicating, uncles and sisters-in-law can't talk, friends' wives can't meet, and women in the neighborhood can't look directly at each other. Written and unwritten rules have accumulated a lot, and China men have almost become a group of strange animals who hate women the most, with ridiculous self-confidence, hateful lewd reasoning, posturing and trembling. For all this, Ruan Ji flatly refused. Once my sister-in-law wanted to go back to her mother's house. He said goodbye to her generously and said a lot, completely ignoring the ethics that uncles and nephews can't talk. The kannika nimtragol in the restaurant next door is very beautiful Ruan Ji often drinks, and when he is drunk, he falls asleep at people's feet. He doesn't avoid suspicion, and neither does his wife's husband. One thing that touched me in particular was that a girl in a military school was very talented and beautiful, but unfortunately she died before she got married. Ruan Ji doesn't know anyone in this family at all, nor does she know this girl. When he heard the news, he came to offer his condolences, wept bitterly in the mourning hall, poured out all his condolences and left. Ruan Ji can't pretend and has no sense of performance. His tears that day were sincere. These tears are not for family, not for unjust cases, but for a beautiful and fleeting life. This is absurd, this is noble. With Ruan Ji's cry that day, China's many other bitter cries for thousands of years seem too specific, too real and too selfish. Finally, a real man cried with dignity, for nothing but beauty, for youth, for the opposite sex, for life, in an abstract way, crying to the fullest. In my opinion, men have finished crying. Another advantage of ethics is filial piety. Filial piety has nothing to do with children's actual feelings for their parents. The most amazing thing is the complicated etiquette when parents die. Three years of mourning, three years of being a vegetarian, three years of being unhappy, and even three years of guarding the tomb, a point of sincerity has expanded into a very melodramatic, which has made the living and the dead suffer for a long time and made a large-scale fraud where it should not be made. Ruan Ji's mother died in this air. That day, he happened to play Go with others. When the news of death came, the other player asked to stop playing chess, but Ruan Ji refused to stop with a livid face and insisted on winning or losing. After playing chess, he asked for a cup, drank two glasses in the frightened eyes of others, and then burst into tears. He vomited a lot of blood when he cried. A few days later, when his mother was buried, he ate meat and drank wine, and then said goodbye to her body. At this point, he has been emaciated by grief. Seeing his mother's body, he burst into tears and vomited blood for several liters, almost dying. He was completely informal. His mother drank and ate meat on the day of her funeral, but his grief over her death was as deep as that of a dutiful son. This is an eternal truth: many rebels are often more loyal to the core behind layers of external norms than defenders. Ruan Ji broke through the etiquette of "filial piety" and really fulfilled filial piety. Like his other behaviors, he just wants to live truly and freely. His practice has a very wide range of social enlightenment. What's more, during the Wei and Jin Dynasties, due to years of war, there was a diary of justice, and even the ruler Si Mazhao was willing to accommodate Ruan Ji's behavior. Shortly after Ruan Ji buried his mother, he was invited to Si Mazhao, saying, "You have always advocated governing the country with filial piety, but today Ruan Ji is sitting here drinking and eating meat during his funeral. This is a big violation of filial piety and should be severely punished!" Si Mazhao glanced at He Zeng, who was filled with indignation, and said slowly, "Didn't you see that Ruan Ji was weak because of grief? What's wrong with eating and drinking when you are weak? You can't share his worries, what else can you say! " One of the great benefits of the Wei and Jin Dynasties is the diversity of ecology and mentality. Ethics is still popular, Ruan Ji's behavior is allowed, so the world is very broad. I remember that during Ruan Ji's mourning period, one day my friend Pei Kai went to the mourning hall of Ruan Ji's mother to mourn and cry, while Ruan Ji sat with long hair, neither standing up nor crying, but his eyes were straight and his expression was blank. After Pei Kai's condolences came out, someone immediately said to him, "According to etiquette, when a funeral is held, the host will cry first, and then the guests will cry with him." This time, I think Ruan Ji didn't cry at all. Why are you crying alone? "Most of these remarks are villains who sow discord. They don't.

Forget it, but I appreciate Pei Kai's answer. He said: "Ruan Ji is a person who transcends etiquette, so he can ignore etiquette;" I also

In etiquette, so follow the etiquette. "I think this Pei Kai is a courtesy middleman, but in the Wei and Jin Dynasties, his demeanor is quite good. He is not fluent himself, but he is willing to make the world fluent. Since Ruan Ji simply tore off the old secular warp and weft and directly took away the original meaning of life, of course, he would not be subject to the burden of interpersonal relationships. He is a celebrity, and many people in the society want to make friends with him, and a large part of these people eat celebrities for a living: they make friends with celebrities to share, covet them while sharing, make a fuss at the slightest sign of trouble, and peck them around in an instant. Ruan Ji is in troubled times, and he is well informed in this respect. I know that secular friendship is unreliable, so I will never be confused by a seemingly real and unreal circle of friends. All the people he is looking for are gone. Liu Bang and Xiang Yu left only a ghost town, while Master Sun Deng left only the blazing mountains. My dear mother has long since left, and even a lovely person with both talents and looks like a military commander's daughter is no longer alive when I heard about it. Unbearable loneliness surrounded him, and he was tired of hypocritical comings and goings and often looked at each other. After a long time, Ruan Ji's supercilious look has become an unmistakable social signal and a psychological barrier to self-protection. However, Ruan Ji threw a dirty look outward, and his heart was not happy. How he wishes to roll his eyes less and let his dark brown pupil sincerely face the other pair of pupils! He's been looking for it. It's hard to find it. At his mother's funeral, he sincerely thanked the guests who came to condolence, but the thanks stopped there. It is found that even though the official position and social prestige are not low, what flashed through Ruan Ji's eyes is still white. People mourn his mother, and he looks at each other! This is very unreasonable, and Ji and his entourage are a little unhappy. When they went home, they were heard by Ji's younger brother. The younger brother was not surprised, but he thought about it and suddenly realized that he quickly prepared wine and came to the mourning hall with his harp under his arm. How contradictory wine, piano and mourning hall are, but Ruan Ji stood up to meet them. Are you here, my friend, a person who has no respect for manners like me? Do you want to say goodbye to your hard-working mother with wine and music? Ruan Ji's heart warmed up and finally turned her dark brown eyes to the young people. This young man is Ji Kang, thirteen years younger than Ruan Ji. They will become lifelong friends in the future, and later versions of China's cultural history will always arrange their names together.