Essays about other people’s children

I asked about traveling to Chongqing in the alumni group. C enthusiastically recommended the route to me and said that she would be free on the days when I arrived in Chongqing and could pick me up and accompany me on the tour.

After reading C’s reply, I feel very complicated. C is my neighbor and schoolmate when I was a child, and we have been friends with each other for more than ten years. But this friendship was not always happy. It can even be said that C was once a "dark cloud" in my youth.

The day we arrived in Chongqing happened to be the beginning of autumn. Chongqing, known as the furnace, welcomed me with a high temperature of thirty-nine degrees. C has confirmed the train number, arrival time and exit location with me on WeChat many times before, which made me secretly admire her thoughtfulness and meticulousness.

Standing at the exit, waiting for C, I couldn’t help but think of what happened when I was a child. What impressed me most about C was that when I made mistakes when I was a child, my parents would always use the sentence "Look at C..."

C's mother and my father are colleagues. The two families live upstairs and downstairs in the same unit building, so we have been very familiar with each other since we were in elementary school. C is two years younger than me. At that time, seven or eight kids in one building often played together. We played rolling hoops in the dam, using an iron rod with a hook to push the hoops to compete with who could be the fastest and pass the most obstacles; we played bouncing glass balls in the mud, using our own glass balls to push other people's glass balls. If the ball hits the mud hole, you can win other people's glass balls; we play a shoe throwing competition on the side of the road to see whose shoe can be thrown the farthest; we ride a scooter down a high slope at high speed, with excitement The screaming brakes with the foot... We are immersed in the joy of the game and always forget the time, except for C. Every time he plays for a certain amount of time, C will always say rationally, "It's time for me to go home," and then go home without any hesitation. My friends and I were having a great time, and we didn’t want to end it. So we continued to play until the adults came to us and came home angrily. When my parents scolded us for being playful, they would always compare it with the image of C coming home on time. Sometimes this contrast makes them angrier and even results in us getting a spanking. Therefore, I was not willing to play with C at that time, because her docility and well-behavedness made me more naughty and rebellious.

Although I sent my location and selfie on WeChat, the structure of Chongqing Railway Station is complex. C and I’s locations overlap on different floors, but we can’t always see each other. By the time they finally met, C was already sweating profusely from running. C is wearing denim shorts and a black short-sleeved T-shirt, with short hair standing straight on his head, a pair of silver earrings, eyebrows and eye shadow, looking cool. This is not the woman I remember at all. But we haven’t seen each other for more than 20 years, so some changes are normal.

C ignored the sweat on her forehead and grabbed my luggage. She apologized and said she didn't come to the station to pick me up. The unfamiliar terrain kept me waiting. When I got into C's car, she handed me the mineral water she had prepared and said that Chongqing was too hot. Seeing her busy and enthusiastic with her face covered in sweat, I remembered my rejection of her when I was a child, and I felt very sorry.

After I was admitted to a key middle school, because it was a boarding school, I only went home once a week. But it seems that I still can't escape C's "shadow". Mom always says, "Look at how polite C is. All the adults in the workplace like her..." "Look at how diligent C is. She helps the family buy rice and groceries..." "Look at how popular C is. She brings her classmates home. Play..." "Look, C is taller and prettier than you..." The nagging comparisons made my ears go numb. I can only be secretly angry. Don't I have any good aspects in the eyes of my parents? Later, C also passed the exam of my middle school and became my alumni. Every time I see C on campus, I subconsciously compare myself with her: C has grown taller again, but I am still so short; C is still so popular, but I am still a loner; C has a cheerful personality, but I am still so short So lonely... Although I later worked in other places, I still often heard my mother talk about C on the phone: The husband she found is better than the husband I found, and her job has a higher income than mine... It is simply a bit despairing. Well, with a C who has such a high emotional intelligence as my "old enemy", how can I ever get ahead!

C introduced me to the scenery along the way while driving. Suddenly, C said: "Sister, to me, you are just 'other people's child'. My mother always compares you with me..." After hearing this, I immediately retorted: "What? You are the only one." I am 'someone else's child', after so many years, I..." We were all a little excited.

Later, we sorted out the past and "accused" each other of the "torture" we had suffered for each other. C's parents said that her grades were not as good as mine, that she was not as sensible as me, that she was not as diligent as me... Whenever her parents were dissatisfied, C's father would beat her violently and violently. When C talked about the experience of being beaten, there was a sad look on his face. She said: "Sister, I went back to my hometown in May this year and saw that the eucalyptus tree in front of the building had grown very tall. When I was a child, my father often broke the branches of the eucalyptus tree and beat me..."

< p> I was a little shocked. I have always envied her for being praised by adults. I always thought that because she was so well-behaved and an only child, she would definitely receive endless love from her parents. Unexpectedly, C’s childhood was not as easy as I thought.

It seems that C was not only harmed by the "motivated comparison" education method, but also by the "wolf dad" education method. Her obedience is a result of the suppression of children's nature under the high pressure and violence of her parents. C said that even her subsequent job and marriage decisions were made under the strong interference of her mother. It was precisely because he was too strictly controlled by his parents that C began to rebel. She resigned, got divorced, went to Chongqing to study, got married on her own, and chose her own job. Every time she was "disobedient" was a struggle and a self-awakening for her. I saw the courage in C’s eyes after going through many vicissitudes of life. It was this courage that brought her out of the predicament.

C looked at the photos of his two children and said firmly that he would never let his children suffer the harm he suffered when he was a child. C has learned a lot about education. She talks freely about her educational philosophy. She praises her children lovingly and rationally talks about their misbehavior. She is willing to listen to the child's heart, pay attention to the child's nature, and let the child grow up healthily and become the best version of himself.

We looked at each other, understanding each other’s past, and feeling somewhat “sympathetic.” Under the unscientific education methods of our parents and under the influence of big or small blows, we have grown up and have the lives we want. We were both "other people's children" in the words of each other's parents, and now we are both being ourselves. As we grow up, we gain experience in educating our children in the future. When we empathize with others, we will avoid making the same mistakes in our own children's education. Every child is an independent individual, with his own growth rhythm and flowering season.