A classic funny copy with a stomachache.

1. Keep the secret of youth: lie about your age.

2. I am a rich second generation, but I work for myself to earn money. I can drive a luxury car, but I squeeze the bus every day. I can eat by my face. I work hard. This is the difference between me and Mingming.

You like ignoring me today. Tomorrow you still love to ignore me. Why are you so rude?

4. The three manifestations of vicious people: get the courier and don't tear it down. Buy milk tea and pack it. Get up when the alarm clock rings!

Travel doesn't have to care about the destination, but the scenery along the way. Because I only have enough money to buy a round-trip hard-seat train ticket.

Your family is really poor. I said I would go to your house to play, but you said no way.

I am not a vain person. I hate villas, sports cars, designer bags, clothes and shoes. I only like money.

Eight. I don't like a boy casually. You are the 5700th.

9. My wife quarreled with me today and kept scolding me. I really can't stand it. I pointed at her angrily and shouted, "If I hadn't seen you beautiful, gentle, kind and lovely, I would have broken up with you!" " Scold her speechless!

10. "If your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, you will ..." "I will score according to the difficulty coefficient of your movements before entering the water and the size of the spray after entering the water."

1 1. I think I'm good at putting girls to sleep. They said they were going to sleep when they said, "Are you there?" .

12. Last night, I dreamed that someone gave me 20 million yuan on condition that I broke up with my boyfriend immediately. I cried when I heard this. I rushed up and hugged her thigh and said, "You must keep your word!" "

13. People who have read books can sensitively distinguish their parents' steps, turn off the computer, TV or mobile phone within 20 seconds, spread out their homework and pick up a pen.

14. Don't talk nonsense after drinking. Don't cry, don't make trouble, don't brag, don't call and don't send WeChat indiscriminately. If you can do these five things, you can drink a hairy wine and waste money!

Fifteen. In the big night, I can also see many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food on the street, and suddenly feel very inspirational. I have no reason not to eat when others are still eating so late.

Xiaoming is sitting in front of his house eating ice cream. Not far away, a little boy in rags was watching him eagerly, drooling. Xiaoming sympathized with him and beckoned the little boy to come over. Then he handed him a bench and said, "Come, sit and watch!" " "

17. I went to reissue my ID card yesterday. I want to change my photo. My uncle, a policeman, said that I was puzzled for many years. He said: "The ugly photo on the ID card is for you to hide. Don't expose it easily, lest you lose it or be stolen!" "

18. When I first got paid: I will control myself this month. I won't buy any rubbish! Open Taobao the next day: Wild Gourd Baby? How wild is it? Buy one and try it!

19. I found 10,000 at the gate of the community today. In the spirit of finding money, I waited in the same place for two hours. I was bored before anyone came to see me. I'm short of ten thousand pounds. Can I still play mahjong? When I first ordered takeout, I suddenly remembered that I was 150 kg. I suddenly slapped myself in the face. How can you be distracted by ordering takeout!

Twenty one. You can't see more positive things, just like you are poor. How can you see the lives of rich people every day? The more you look at it, the sadder it gets. It is better to watch more sad things and show your vitality.

22. What is the wife's experience of eating vegetables? You are in the cold war. If you move your mouth, she will come to MengMeng and say, What are you eating?