Humorous and funny tour guide opening remarks, self-introduction. Funny jokes or something. The more, the better.

There is a song called "Go home often", and there is a desire to go out often. To put it bluntly, it is tourism.

I stayed in the city for a long time, listening to the noise, inhaling tail gas, busy with housework and work, eating and drinking Lazar every day. It can be said that my heart is broken, my mouth is worn out, and my body is almost exhausted! (Laughter).

Therefore, we should often travel, go to bigger cities, go to Tieling, cultivate our sentiments in the green mountains and green waters, and broaden our horizons in historical cities. What is the most important thing in life, not money, not power, I personally think it is health and happiness! Do you agree? (Everyone understands)

When traveling, you must find a travel agency. It is convenient and economical to go out with the travel agency.

But to find a good travel agency, it is best to meet a good tour guide, and a good tour guide can bring you a pleasant trip. Everyone agrees!

But to find a good tour guide, it is best to find a female tour guide. In the green mountains and green waters, there is also a lady who has opened a companion. What a wonderful feeling! Everyone agrees! (Laughter).

But it is better to find a male tour guide than a female tour guide. A strong male tour guide can not only be a tour guide for you, but also be a half bodyguard. If there is an emergency, we will pack our bags and leave.

It is better to find a versatile male tour guide than to find a male tour guide;

It is better to find a versatile male tour guide who can sing and dance.

It is better to find a versatile and eloquent male tour guide than to find a versatile and eloquent male tour guide.

It is better to find a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide than to find a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide;

Looking for a versatile, articulate and well-proportioned male tour guide, it is better to find a versatile, articulate, well-proportioned and handsome male tour guide!

Please be careful when we meet for the first time. I brought two gifts for my family. Please accept it:

Don't stick your head and feet out of the window, and don't just sit in the trunk when the car is driving at high speed. Call me if you have any job. I sat in the guide seat in the front row. Please put your feet down from the chair at your feet, it will be quieter. Especially parents with small partners must not let their children run back and forth. Last year, there was a tour guide group, a very fashionable little girl, four or five years old, who went to play with her parents and grandmother. While driving, it's not close to find grandma in the back row to the front row, so it's a fucking life. But who knows the consequences of ............ when the driver tried to avoid stepping on the brakes? ....

Please keep this mark and let me introduce myself first. I was a full-time tour guide. My name is Ma, and I am a successful horse, and I am the first one. Of course, it is also a defective horse, but I will prove myself with my steps, but I am serious about winning the championship in this trip! You can call me pony or horse guide, but I still think you should call me pony affectionate. Accompanying the whole journey means accompanying the tour guide, and there will be a tour guide where you arrive. Now I beg you to remember me, not that I am lazy, but that it is not easy for you to remember me. Please forgive me if I remember all the guests at the first time. :) And Pony, I'm less than 1.7 meters above sea level, so be sure to remember. Stay close to the team and don't leave the team. ....

What you are familiar with now is that car, and our apprentice loves her very much. So it shouldn't be a problem to see that the apprentice worked so hard to be nice to her last year: don't smoke in the trunk, it's good for me and others' health, and I think all the people sitting here are celebrities.

At first, we had one of the most important things. Please ask students to get a life certificate and check the period you can use it. Let's just say that the use period of the ID card is very short. Come back and see if it will be out of date, and then give me your ID card. I have to check whether the list on my ID card and air ticket is public. In the future, I will use those ID cards to reissue boarding feet for students at the airport, and then go back with boarding passes. I was talking about it when I was there. I must take good care of my ID card. Please take it with you. Don't put it in the trunk to prevent people from being checked on the plane. For example, if we have an ID card this time, we can only swim back!

Good morning everyone. Let's respond to the State Council's call for further study: from 1, on behalf of the tourism agency, I would like to express my strong warm reception to the students for a three-day tour; On behalf of the tour guide, I told the students in advance that the "3" mentioned when I called yesterday morning represented the arrival of my disciples and me.

The driver holding the target with his feet, stepping on the brakes and staring at the circle in front is our driver @. May my work as an apprentice driver bring this family an unforgettable journey. If there is anything that can affect us, just tell us, and we will try our best to provide excellent services for our families at the same time.

Seeing my parents' eyes, I was puzzled. Who's that? Are you from our unit? Ha ha laugh

That's a souvenir from our company to our family, including sightseeing bags, hats and group badges. The company accepted the sightseeing package.