Avoidant attachment personality

If this avoidant type is your friend or family member, it would be good to start a business partnership or become a colleague with him, because this type of person generally has a strong working ability.

And if this avoidant type is your lover, then you need to read my answer carefully.

1. Love characteristics of avoidant attachment style

1. Fear of rejection, so they will reject themselves first and others first.

For example, if they want Stay by yourself on the weekend, but he or she is worried that you will be unhappy because of this, and is even more worried that if you reject her, she will not know how to deal with it, so she will reject you in advance and suppress your needs, causing you to pay too much;

For example, if you If you have a cold war with him or her, he or she will worry that you want to give up on the relationship, but he or she will not take the initiative to ask for a relaxation of the relationship. Instead, he will reject you in advance by actively staying away from you or even breaking up. Only if you take the initiative to show acceptance and recognition to him or her , the Cold War can end.

2. Autistic when having negative emotions

Whenever he or she is unhappy or stressed, he or she will choose to face it alone, rejecting your care and help. , because whether it is caring or helping, in his view, he is telling him "your abilities are not good enough".

3. Reject relationships that are too close

For example, if you travel together for a week, then after you come back, he will need to stay alone for a while;

For example, if you want her to talk about her feelings, she will refuse. If you want to share your thoughts with her, she will not be interested or even a little repelled.

For example, if you talk to her about marriage, she will be vague due to fear. His words even made him break up angrily.

4. Workaholic

“Needing to be busy with work” is the most common excuse used by avoidant lovers to avoid relationship problems.

They will simply summarize the crux of almost all problems as "my ability is not strong enough" and "my value is not high enough", and then make money through work to prove their ability, gain more value and resource.

5. High requirements

He or she has very high and rigid requirements for love. He will ask himself to be a perfect partner like a robot, and he will also ask you to be as "perfect" as he or she is. "People. Once you are dissatisfied with his or her transformation requirements, he or she will have the idea of ????substituting someone else. You will indeed become a better person because of this, but you will also feel that the person he or she loves is not you.

6. Regular "retreat" is needed

Because people with avoidant attachment have too rigid requirements for themselves and their partners, the gap between ideals and reality will cause them to often feel in love. They will experience frustration and depression. Therefore, they need to often spend time alone to let their inner conflicting thoughts fight each other to relieve anxiety.

2. The causes of avoidant attachment

The growth experience of avoidant people includes the traumatic experience of being ignored by their caregivers for a long time. They want to be attached to their caregivers but have been unable to achieve it. Under the influence of narcissistic thinking, they will interpret the current situation of not receiving love as "because I am not good enough, so my parents do not love me", that is, they form the irrational belief of avoidant attachment style: I have no value.

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