Mid-aged marriage: Cheating while showing affection at the same time

Jia Jia posted a photo of her husband cutting her nails on WeChat Moments, with the caption, "Time flies, please allow me to be stable for the rest of my life."

Jiajia is my classmate, and her husband runs a company in a finance-related industry. He is doing well and is considered a wealthy person.

Jiajia has been at home caring for her husband and raising children since she got married. She often posts various travel blockbusters in her circle of friends, as well as her gourmet feasts at major hotels. Although I have never seen her husband’s true face in the circle of friends, from time to time he will give us some dog food similar to that of her husband cooking midnight snacks and her husband touching her head and squeezing her face before going to bed.

I once envied Jiajia’s marriage. Her husband was young, promising and gentle and considerate. Isn't it every woman's dream to marry such a man?

It wasn’t until Jiajia posted screenshots of the conversation between her husband and her mistress to WeChat Moments that we learned that Jiajia’s husband had always had a mistress outside, and Jiajia had tacitly approved it, so she could be “magnanimous” He complained about the mistress in the circle of friends.

Jiajia said that she was a bit frigid and could not satisfy her husband's needs. Instead of letting him go to prostitutes, it would be better for him to find a long-term sexual partner, so she acquiesced to him keeping a mistress outside. I asked her, are you not afraid that your mistress will instigate your husband to divorce?

She said: "This is impossible. My husband loves me and his family. Besides, our son is so old, so he has a sense of proportion."

Jiajia's "Open-mindedness" really breaks my three views.

Later, when I heard that the mistress was planning to commit suicide, Jiajia's husband was afraid and hid. In the end, Jiajia stepped in to settle the matter and spent some money. My husband finally calmed down for a while and did not dare to find a mistress again, but within half a year he found a new love.

Despite this, Jiajia’s circle of friends still leads an enviable life. Anyway, the circle of friends can only display news from the last three days and the last six months.

FleishmanHillard International Communications Consulting Company conducted an in-depth survey on the theme of "Women, Power and Money" in the United States, the United Kingdom, France, Germany and China.

It was found that Chinese women are the least satisfied with their marriage.

Only 37% of Chinese women agreed with the following statement: "In my life, I am very lucky to meet my partner."

Only 20% agreed with "He is The ideal partner I’ve always dreamed of.”

From this survey result, we can boldly speculate that at least 67% of marriages are pretending to be in love.

Obviously you get up early every day to make breakfast, wake up the child, dress him, feed him, and then send him to school before going to work. When you go out, your husband has not gotten up yet. Occasionally, he would get up early to do errands and take you and your children out. He posted on WeChat Moments: Happiness is being on the road every day.

When I got home from get off work, after dinner, one was doing homework with the child, and the other put on headphones and watched videos on his mobile phone in bed. The post on Moments read: The years are quiet and peaceful.

Apart from asking "Are you coming back for dinner tonight?" I didn't have any unnecessary words throughout the day. I only occasionally sent out a 520 red envelope during the Chinese New Year and holidays. Of course, this kind of coincidence also needs to be announced in the circle of friends. : Look, I also have dog food to spread.

When it's time to go to bed, you turn off the lights and get ready to sleep, but he is still leaning on the bed looking at his mobile phone. Of course, the attraction of the mobile phone is far greater than that of you. You are his wife, yes, but your phone is his mistress. You already have a mistress, why would he still be interested in your body? Sexless marriage is the norm. But if you can at least sleep on the same bed, it means you are still in love. Then you can upload a photo of two pairs of feet and twenty toes hanging at the end of the bed.

Even if you secretly get divorced when it is clear that you can no longer survive, you still have to pretend that you are living a happy life and that your love is as good as ever.

Do you still remember the Bai Baihe derailment incident last year? Let me review for you. On April 12, 2017, Bai Baihe was photographed secretly meeting a handsome man in Thailand and was exposed to have cheated on her. On April 13, 2017, Bai Baihe and the hunk were once again photographed performing a "butt-touching killing" on the streets of Thailand. The scene was quite exciting and explicit.

Originally, celebrity cheating was nothing new, and her husband also responded within a few days. The two had already divorced in 2015. But what puzzles the melon-eaters is that in 2016, the two also showed off their affection in many entertainment programs. The two had been divorced for nearly two years at that time. If they hadn't been exposed for cheating, they don't know how long they would have continued to deceive the people.

Celebrities pretend to be in love because they need to maintain a good image in front of the public. After all, there are huge financial interests involved.

So why do ordinary people pretend to love each other?

Some people say that most Chinese-style marriages that pretend love are for the sake of the children, to create an illusion of a father loving the mother in front of the children, to have a complete family for the children, and to have a healthy psychology for the children.

I want to say, don’t use children as an excuse. Do you think children are so easy to deceive? Doesn't he know how long it has been since he saw his father? Doesn't he know that you two have separate beds? Doesn't he know that his father actually doesn't love his mother anymore? He knows everything but pretends not to know.

You pretend to be happy in your circle of friends just because of vanity. You hope to be a winner in life in the eyes of others, including marriage.

But that’s what marriage is like. After many years of marriage, it is really difficult to maintain the same love as before.

If you ask me, when is it happier to be married or single? This question is similar to a popular post on the Internet some time ago: "If it weren't for children, would you still be willing to marry your current husband in the next life?", the answer is the same: in the next life, I want to be a good-looking woman, have a high IQ, and be able to make money. A woman who does not marry.

But we don’t have the courage to divorce. After all, there are still so many entangled relationships. Marriage is a matter for two families, while divorce involves three families.

What to do? Anyway, it’s not a big deal, so just keep pretending. Life itself also needs to be disguised, and couples don’t need to be naked and facing each other all the time.

Just a circle of friends is not necessary. They are all people in the besieged city, and I don’t know who is who. There is no airtight wall in this world. Once a lie is exposed by others, it becomes a joke.