Before you become a better self

Think about whether there is such a person around us. In the fun of a group of people, he remains silent, as if he is not brave enough and confident enough, and it is difficult for him to integrate into the circle. And when you see him cowering on the edge, you can't help but sympathize with him. Some people will look at him with contempt, as if he is a weak person.

For people who seem to be unsociable, we will always stay further away from them intentionally or unintentionally, isolate them, and feel proud of our own sociability.

But in fact, the unsociable person is not weak and does not need your sympathy. They are strong in a special way.

Lu Xun once said: "All ferocious beasts walk alone, only sheep form groups." Who are the ferocious beasts? Introverts with the following three characteristics are likely to achieve great things.

Even if you are a well-connected person, I suggest you do these 3 things to become a better self

1. Rarely participate in boring chats and parties

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In our company office, people often chat, and the topics are nothing more than the academic performance of their children, how many houses someone has at home, and the glorious deeds of outstanding relatives. Once we start talking about these things around us, it is difficult to stop. Every word you say to me is very lively.

Whenever everyone is chatting in full swing, there is a colleague who keeps silent, lowers his head to do things, and occasionally looks up at the person chatting, as if it has nothing to do with him, and seems out of place.

This is probably what it means to be unsociable. Although we live in the same space and environment, we are often not on the same channel as the people around us. After my observation, this unsociable colleague not only did not participate in chatting, but was also special in many ways.

For example, she is highly educated, a graduate student, and loves reading. She reads when others are chatting. I once read the passage she posted on WeChat Moments. The writing is fresh, logical and profound. She doesn't talk much, but the leaders leave all the important things to her. Not only does she go to work, but she also runs her own side business, and her income is as high as that of senior executives in the company.

The reason why this seemingly unsociable person is unsociable is because she is not the same type of person as the people around her. She understands the principle of not working together when others are different, and she does not lower her requirements for herself just to fit in with others.

This colleague is the type I admire more. When I chatted with her sometimes, I found out that she reads books every day and absorbs new knowledge every day. Can't help but give her a thumbs up. Compared to her, those who chatted at work had been going to work every day for several years, living a repetitive life without even realizing it.

There is no good or bad distinction between gregarious and unsociable human character. However, when we live in a group, we must always feel ourselves, understand ourselves, and control ourselves. Don’t lose yourself trying to fit in with the excitement. It doesn't matter if you don't fit in with others.

Everyone has played the game "Tetris". When a whole row is filled with blocks, this row will disappear instantly. When we are gregarious, we can easily disappear.

Excellent people do not deliberately break away from the group, but clearly understand themselves and what they want.

Even if you are a well-connected person, I suggest you do these 3 things to become a better self

Second, be introverted, like to be alone, and be passionate about Deep Learning

From ancient times to the present, those who have left academic works and contributions to the world have all devoted themselves to research and writing, and sometimes even isolated themselves from the world.

On a trip to India, psychologist Carl Jung accidentally discovered that the locals had the custom of opening a meditation room at home. After that, Jung came up with the idea of ??building a private office. In 1922, he built a simple two-story stone tower by the lake in the small village of Berlingen. "In the lounge I can be alone," Jung said of the room. To keep his work private, he doesn't accept visitors without an appointment.

Coincidentally, the Japanese neuropsychologist Shion Kawasawa also mentioned many times in the book that he must maintain absolute freedom and quiet when working in his home study. Without his permission, even his wife would Can't enter the room.

The reason why these great scholars must give themselves space and time to be alone and isolate themselves from the outside world is because they need to carry out in-depth work.

Why do we need to do deep work?

Scholars have proposed that deep work refers to focusing on professional activities in a state without interference, pushing one's cognitive ability to the limit. Years of research in neuroscience have also found that the mental stress associated with deep work can quickly and efficiently improve personal abilities.

In other words, deep work when alone greatly improves work efficiency and makes it easy to achieve achievements.

I personally also have this experience. When I am alone, reading and studying, I can concentrate on it, study very efficiently, and feel happy physically and mentally.

On the contrary, those who mix with many people every day cannot experience this feeling, and it is difficult for them to have the opportunity to work in depth, and of course it is difficult to achieve substantial results.

Even if you are a well-connected person, I suggest you do these 3 things to become a better self

Third, make big moves at critical moments to solve practical problems

Downey, the protagonist in the movie "Iron Man", is a great genius and a very unsociable person. He doesn't talk much, but he is very crazy. The U.S. government asked him to use his talent to serve the country and manufacture military weapons for the country, but he refused.

Downey, who proudly said "I am the savior of the earth" at the press conference, often locked himself in the basement of his home and did not allow others to enter.

What does he do? Yes, he and his robots worked together to study the energy improvement of the steel suit, optimize the control program, and improve the flight control accuracy. In short, they wanted to make the steel suit he invented better. Even his girlfriend and assistant Pepper couldn't figure out what he was doing.

In "Iron Man 3", when the brutal Desperate Warriors almost forced Downey into despair, Downey summoned the Iron Man team in his basement, each of which could fight independently. Follow Donnie's lead. Downey's friend Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes said in shock: "So you are hiding in the basement doing this."

In the end, his Iron Man team successfully annihilated all the desperate fighters and protected the American people.

Of course the movie has fictional imagination, but every outstanding person is usually ruthless and doesn't talk much. He can always make big moves to solve problems at critical moments.

The Swedish chemist Nobel was introverted and silent since he was a child. However, he possessed perseverance and concentration that ordinary people could not match. He followed his father to the factory to do explosive experiments at a very young age. His childhood was always accompanied by the boring sound of explosions. His introverted personality gave him the advantage of concentrating on research, achieved breakthrough research results in the field of blasting, and accumulated huge wealth. The key criterion for the Nobel Prize he founded is "innovation."

Research by psychologists has shown: "Introverts are naturally good at focusing on the inner spiritual world, which gives them superb insight and understanding. They are good at sorting and absorbing external information and transforming it into For their own content, rather than simply accepting or denying it. "

Therefore, introverts, when faced with problems, can often think independently without interference and find the cause of the problem. Get rid of the problem.

Even if you are a very popular person, I suggest you do these 3 things to become a better version of yourself

To sum up, I think we can make some changes This is a judgment on unsociable and introverted people. Those who linger outside the crowd are not weak, on the contrary, they are closer to strong. Introverts focus on their inner spirit, have stronger concentration and perseverance, and are more likely to achieve results in their own fields.

So, look around you. If there is an introverted and unsociable person, you have to be careful. He may be a source of energy, a smart guy who is drunk by everyone but sober alone. And we should always maintain our own characteristics and judgment in the group, and never lose ourselves even if we join the group.