Dream back to Mount Lu (Love Letter from Mount Lu)

Dream Back to Lushan (Lushan Love Letter)

The first time I met Lushan was when I was a freshman in college. At that time, I was studying at Nanchang University. My younger cousin Jiang Jiang, who was in Ganzhou, missed his father who was working far away in Lushan, so I took my "mission" to lead my younger cousin up the mountain to visit his father.

I remember it was a spring evening, and the car was circling along the rugged mountain road to the top of the mountain. The sky is getting darker and darker, and the clouds and fog are getting thicker and covering the mountain road. The surrounding area is white and dark. We feel that we are getting further and further away from human civilization, and it seems that we will be lost in this ethereal cloud and fog. My 10-year-old cousin suffered from otitis media and motion sickness. As the altitude continued to climb, the low pressure made him unbearable. He covered his ears and said in frustration: Brother, does my dad really work in the mountains? Will he change? Savage?

I hugged my poor brother, feeling extremely distressed, so I nodded: "Yes!"

My brother's face was earth-colored, and he hugged my waist tightly. As the car swung around, he counted with a cry like a monk reciting sutras: 216 turns, four hundred turns on the verdant jump, 217 turns, four hundred turns on the verdant jump, 218 turns. I feel happy and taught him. A lot of knowledge.

Quantitative changes lead to qualitative changes. I don’t get motion sickness, but after hundreds of sharp turns, I also fainted. My brother started to stop counting after vomiting twice. I have some doubts that Grandpa Mao didn’t have enough matches when he went up the mountain, and he miscounted the number. There must be more than 400 bends on the way up Mount Lushan! My stomach was churning, and I remembered what my father taught me about motion sickness, so I looked into the distance, but everything in front of me was It was a vast expanse of white, and there was no distance at all.

Brother, how can we find dad when we get to the mountain? The clouds and fog are so thick that we can’t see him. ?

?Relying on the smell!? I am having fun teasing him, ?You must be able to distinguish his smell!?

?Brother, I am starting to get dazzled, ?My brother rubbed it Rubbing my eyes, why is the fog so golden?

After a few more big turns, we broke out of this thick golden fog and saw a brand new world, a golden and brand new world. The golden world! At this time, the fog was golden, the clouds were golden, the canyons were golden, the trees were golden, and the roads were golden. I looked at my golden brother, pointed at a big golden bead supported by two mountains, and shouted :?Brother, look, it’s sunset!?

?Great, the sun is going down,?My brother crawled past me, held up the car window, and said excitedly,?I can watch "" Big-headed son and little-headed daddy!? Then, he lost his mind again,? But in this deep mountain and old forest, is there a TV to watch?

My younger brother only knows how to watch cartoons, and he has never experienced the real sunset. Meaning, so I corrected him: "Sunset means the end of people's hard work for the day, and it means we can have dinner later." ?I looked at the end of the sunset and swallowed my saliva. That feeling of "dizzy and hungry" can only be experienced by those who have been to Lushan Mountain.

The beautiful sunset brought us hope, and the temptation of cartoons and dinner cheered us up again. Our remaining worry was: is there a TV in this? deep mountains and old forests? And delicious food?

The car started to turn into a downhill curve, and I concluded that the top of the mountain was approaching.

Driving down the ramp, you are greeted by waves of cool wind carrying clouds and mist. What comes into view is a pool of turquoise lake water, surrounded by green pines and cypresses, with floating flowers on the lake. A lonely octagonal pavilion echoes across the water from an arch bridge in front that looks like a "white dragon drinking from a spring".

Uncle, stop the car, stop the car quickly! The younger brother suddenly shouted.

Yes! Stop the car quickly, it’s so beautiful. This is the fairy lake in my dream.

The car came to a halt. I opened the car door and faced Lulin Lake and couldn't help but chant: "The mountains are different from the sky, and the coming and going is the immortality of the earth." Red rain falls at the bottom of the cloud peak, and purple smoke floats in the cold green valley. ?

?Wow, my brother pushed me away violently. In such a fairyland, he actually vomited again!

After staying for a while, my brother regained his energy, and we continued to drive forward. slope. We began to see a lot of "red-roofed stone houses", just like the small villas in old Shanghai movies. The younger brother finally showed his half-broken big teeth: "Brother, the house on the mountain is not a thatched house. My dad will not become a savage!"

I told my brother, not necessarily.

We passed by a church built of granite and saw a cinema built of granite, and we discussed whether "The Lotus Lantern" would be played in the cinema. The uncle who drove the car told us that there was only one romantic movie called "Romance in Lushan" played on a recurring basis throughout the year. He also said that there was a kissing scene. I wanted to watch it, but my underage brother couldn't watch it (footnote 1). Then, we passed through a tunnel that looked like a bomb shelter and finally arrived at Kuling Street.

That was the first time I experienced personally what "Utopia" is. On the vast and hidden mountain top, there is actually a prosperous city hidden, and on Guling Street, Yunshangtian Street, which runs through the entire scenic area, there are bright lights and tourists.

Through the dreamlike colorful clouds, we vaguely saw: restaurants, bakeries, shopping malls, coffee houses, and bookstores? The driver’s uncle also told us that these shops existed in Lushan as early as the 1930s. It’s amazing! This city was already so prosperous in the era when my grandfather was not even born. This is simply beyond our imagination!

The stone hanging in my heart finally fell to the ground, and there were mountains everywhere Neon-lit restaurants and hotels. We no longer have to worry about food and housing, and my brother also got his wish to see his father who has not turned into a savage, and we also have a secure life. In the next few days, we started our first trip to Mount Lushan in our lives.

Thick clouds and fog, high mountains and roads, a city in the sky, green water and green mountains were my first impression of Lushan when I was carefree. From then on, I always taught my brother to be filial. His father worked hard and he should visit him often. The most important thing was that I had to take him up the mountain. So, in the few years since I was in college, I made my second, third, and fourth trip to Mount Lushan. I took a bus from the north and south gates or walked up the mountain from Haohanpo. I saw spring like a dream, summer like drops, and autumn like drunkenness. , winter is like jade? Lushan in various solar terms.

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In the winter of my senior year in college, it was probably the tenth time I went to Mount Lu. My brother Rocky and I got together and forced my younger brother to go up the mountain to visit his father, and we also took a look at the snow scenery (really by the way). That time, my brother brought a beautiful girl with him to Lushan Mountain and performed "Lushan Love" live for us. Fortunately, that beautiful woman has now become our sister-in-law, otherwise, this paragraph would not have been written. Here, I would like to say something to my sister-in-law by the way: Sister-in-law, please rest assured that my brother has only had one girlfriend, and that is you. Of course, believe it or not, take it lightly

Back to business, the four of us hired a van and prepared to go up the mountain from the north gate. The driver pulled out four arm-thick chains at the north entrance and shook them. My 13-year-old brother was very scared. He had a stronger sense of safety than us. He gathered the three of us in a group and discussed: Brother, four chains for the four of us, it’s just right!?

Loki and I couldn’t figure it out, and my sister-in-law didn’t understand, so we asked him what he meant.

?Tie us up and kidnap us!? My brother was sweating profusely in the weather that was several degrees below zero.

The three of us adults glanced at the driver, who was even thinner than his younger brother, and then at his underage brother. We said with horror on our faces: "It's over, it's over? What should we do?!" ?

The younger brother pointed at a mountain road like a white python climbing inside the garden gate with his little hand like a silkworm baby, and said in a milky voice: "Let's run, run up the mountain, and find the little-headed father."

Come on, get in the car. The wheels are locked with iron chains. The driver pointed to the tyres, which are tied together, so they won’t slip. ?

My brother, sister-in-law and I laughed uproariously and lifted my brother up to get in the car. The younger brother struggled like a piggy, kicked his legs in the air, and screamed like a killing pig: "Conspiracy, accomplice!"

The mountain road at the north gate is flatter than the south gate, and the road is knotted. There were fresh ice slag on both sides, and cleared ice piles were piled on both sides. The wheels with iron chains were firmly rolling on the ice and making a crackling sound. There are no leaves on the branches of the plane trees on both sides of the road, replaced by slender icicles hanging on them. Facing the car window, the clouds are not clouds, the fog is not fog, they are like tiny smoothies mixed with soft edelweiss?

? Guys, isn’t the winter in Lushan beautiful? ? asked the driver.

? Beautiful, extremely beautiful!? We replied.

Most tourists only know that they come to Mount Lushan to escape the heat in summer and enjoy the maple leaves in autumn, but they don’t know that Mount Lushan is full of spring and majestic in winter. ?

?Majestic? Winter is so sad and beautiful, how can it be majestic? I don’t understand.

?You will know when we pass by Wangjiang Pavilion later. ?

We followed this "white python" and passed by Xiaotianchi, and saw the "Nonata" which was more holy than before. The green pines and cypresses around the pagoda in the past have now turned into endless white Hada. As the car continued to move forward, we saw the world below the mountain, which was layered, dense, and white. It was impossible to tell whether it was a city or a village, a house or a bridge.

The driver stopped the car on the roadside of Wangjiang Pavilion, took a short break, and told us to pay attention to safety and go to the pavilion to see what the "majestic" winter in Lushan Mountain is. We led our younger brother along the snow-covered stone path to Wangjiang Pavilion, passed through the granite gate with the inscription "Mountains and Rivers Are Not Two", climbed up the nine steps commemorating the 99th Route Army, and came to the snow-covered Anti-Japanese War Martyrs. cemetery. The Anti-Japanese War Monument stands in the wind and snow. The top of the monument is like a sharp knife thrust into the sky. The triangular cone-shaped monument symbolizes the "Three People's Principles". The windward side is covered with a layer of holy ice and snow, and a string of icicles hangs horizontally on the leeward side. Like the tears of martyrs. Do we observe silence in front of the Anti-Japanese War Monument?

A narrow path behind the Anti-Japanese War Monument leads to the "Martyrs' Pavilion", which was renamed "Wangjiang Pavilion" after 1977. We crawled into the path covered by white pines, faced the biting cold wind, and climbed to Wangjiang Pavilion.

The entire northwest side of Lushan Mountain has a panoramic view. The two peaks on the left and right cover Jiujiang City, and bursts of ice mist blow towards your face. This is a holy world, a kingdom of ice and snow. Lushan Mountain in winter is indeed majestic and majestic. I couldn't help but recite Mao Zedong's "Spring Snow in Qinyuan". My brother, sister-in-law, and younger brother recited: "The scenery of the North is covered with thousands of miles of ice and thousands of miles of snow." Looking inside and outside the Great Wall, there is nothing but vastness; the river up and down suddenly stops flowing. The silver snake dances in the mountains, and the original wax figure wants to compete with God. On a sunny day, it is particularly charming to see the red clothes and plain clothes. There are so many beauties in the country, attracting countless heroes to bow their waists

At that time, we experienced Cheng Gong’s promise of "looking for a pure partner in the woods before we have time, trying to recruit five elders to face Cangyan", and Wang Shimao's "Thousand Cliffs" In the ice jade, where is Kuang Jun?, Xu Ning's "Five old snows in the cold sky, clouds over the Jiujiang River in the slanting moon", Lu You's "Hasty clouds in the mountains, fleeing famous guests, wind and snow in Lushan Mountain, entering the Ding Monk", and "There are people in the mud alley looking for Du Fu, learning from No One Asks Yuan An in the House

That year, my brother Rocky and I were about to leave school and enter the society. On Lushan Mountain, we faced the majestic snow-covered Lushan Mountain, which was foggy and white, just like our future world. We were full of ambition, but also a little lost and hesitant. My brother said: "Spring, summer, autumn, winter, night and day each have their own beauty." Life cannot be full of birds singing and flowers fragrant. When the dark night of winter comes, we still move forward cautiously and boldly like climbing Mount Lushan in winter, and the beautiful scenery will appear in front of us all the time!?

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The years are like the clouds and mists in Lushan Mountain, passing by slowly and spreading endlessly. In the blink of an eye, my childhood is gone. I have been in business for ten years and have a son, Enen, and a good wife, Yujie. I am "greedy" by nature, and I never give up on reality or dreams. I switch repeatedly between work, life, music, and writing all day long. The phone calls were bombarded day and night, and people kept pestering me about trivial matters. What made me lament the saddest thing about life was that some of the most loved ones around me began to leave me one by one: great-grandmother, grandfather, grandmother, grandfather, Man Gong (footnote 2), aunt, My sister-in-law, Yao Jiu, and Ah Fei? These relatives and friends have left me forever, and I have lost them forever.

I lament the fragility of life and the insignificance of human beings. So, when I was tired, I began to get used to all kinds of memories, recalling those carefree times on Lushan Mountain. When the memories accumulated to a certain extent, they affected my behavior, and I decided to go to Lushan again.

It was late autumn that year, and it was probably my twentieth trip to Mount Lushan. After I signed the so-called "big contract" with the client in Jiujiang, I asked my colleagues to return to Gansu as scheduled, and I parked the car at the foot of the mountain and hiked up the Haohan Slope alone. That hike on Haohan Slope was exactly fifteen years after my first hike on Haohan Slope. How many fifteen years can a life last?

Long bluestones are paved with long steps, and the long steps form a long hero slope. This long hero slope is like our long slope. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and seems long. When we are almost finished, we look back and find out whether the beginning and the end are actually just a moment, and whether the difficulties and joys along the way are just our own fantasies.

The bluestone steps were covered with dead branches and fallen leaves, and branches with bare branches were growing left and right. I gasped and gasped, reciting Cao Cao's "Dan Ge Xing" and calling Meng De to accompany me:? Singing to the wine, life is like a morning dew, how bitter it is every day? It is as bright as the moon, when can you wipe it off? Worry comes from it and cannot be cut off.

Worry comes from it and cannot be cut off. The lord of the three-thirds of the world still shouts like this!

Waves of crows' cries echoed from far to near? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

?The moon and stars are sparse, and the crows are flying south. Three twists and turns around the tree, what branch can I rely on? The mountains never get too high, and the sea never gets too deep. After reciting the poem "The Duke of Zhou spits out food, the world returns to its heart", I almost spit it out and died. In the past few years, my mortal body has been damaged by "pig friends and dog friends", and my physical strength is not as good as before. I, this crow, should find a tree to brag about? Yiyiyi?

The Haohan Pavilion appeared in front of me so considerately. Like a dog digging in the dirt, I crawled to the Haohan Pavilion on my hands and knees, shiveringly took out the Daphne incense, and took a deep puff. When I saw the no-smoking sign, I took another puff and snuffed it out repeatedly. My thoughts drifted into the distance along with the smoke and the crow's ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh: Should I save half my life this time and be half a hero, or should I lose my life and be a full hero? Chairman Chiang, go up in the sedan chair, I It's not embarrassing to be halfway there. Besides, I've been through it before?

It's not my style to give up halfway. I climbed up the hero's slope like a grasshopper on the shore (footnote 3). Arrive at Scissor Gorge. I lay on the cold and steep stone steps, pointing at the night sky with few moons and stars, and laughed loudly: "No way to stop my progress! If you have the ability, just add a few more sets of steps. You can't scare me!" ?

Indeed, no way! The iron gate of Scissor Gorge is closed at the end of the day. I couldn't enter the garden gate, so I squatted on the stone steps outside the iron gate of Scissor Gorge, shivering from the cold and crying. I looked pitifully at the pitch-black cliffs all around, blowing the whooshing mountain wind, and inexplicably thought of the "Diaozhu White-Eyed Tiger" on Jingyanggang. Although I know that Lushan, with lush vegetation and roaming tigers and leopards, was in the early Ming Dynasty more than 1,000 years ago, it is really scary to think about it in this environment and mood.

There was really no other way. In order not to freeze to death or be frightened to death by the tiger in my heart, I still called the police.

When the door opened, I almost collapsed. I had completely forgotten that there are indeed several sets of long steps and steep slopes from Scissor Gorge to Guling Street?

That time, I did not go to visit the familiar scenic spots. , and did not investigate the poems, songs, poems and literary background of Lushan Mountain by literati and poets. I am alone, walking and thinking, walking through unknown slopes, mountain roads, and forest trails, looking for those forgotten scenery and the pure happiness in my heart about Mount Lu. My younger brother, elder brother, and friends are all not around this time. Lushan Mountain is still the same mountain, but I am not the same person.

I began to be solitary and loved solitude. I learned to communicate with French plane trees, Japanese cedar, Taiwanese spruce pine, Liriodendron tulipifera, Houttuynia cordata, small field chrysanthemums, inchworms, spiders, stink bugs, cicadas, and butterflies. ?Lark, skylark, crow, stinkbird, rock swallow? Even be friends with every stone, wall, house and building. I have learned to become friends with all things in nature. I am with the clouds, the blue sky, the bright moon and the starry sky. I can call upon literati and poets from all dynasties and generations to be my companions. I feel that I have no branches to lean on and that I can lean on all branches. I am also a branch that a bird can lean on. , I felt incredibly liberated. My body and mind are integrated into nature and all things? I am nature, I am Lushan Mountain

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(If the number of times everyone goes to Lushan Mountain in this life is as early as in the big account book of the universe? There is a certain number. So, every time I go to Lushan, does it go to Lushan once more, less once, or does it remain the same? Has this big account book been changed?) Many years have passed. Over the years, I have also met with relatives, friends, and clients many times. I have taken a brief tour of Mount Lu, but every time I go down the mountain and return to Ganzhou, thousands of miles away, I always feel that I have not finished it. I feel empty in my heart and look forward to going up to Mount Lu next time, and use some kind of memories and memories to fill the unknown empty area in my heart. Feeling filled. That kind of expectation is like a long-distance run in life, like dehydration. The farther you run, the more you want to go up the mountain and drink a sip of mountain spring, but the taste of the mountain spring is always less than when you first went to Lushan Mountain. What feeling is missing?

Ever since, I began to think about Lushan Mountain, dream about Lushan Mountain, and analyze the empty area deep in my heart about Lushan Mountain. To this day, I am sitting in Ganzhou Zhaixing Tower (footnote 4), and for the first time I write about the mountains. The days in the mountains were so carefree and happy that I was not willing to spend a second doing anything that had nothing to do with traveling to the mountains and enlightening the Tao. The love letter about Mount Lu that I had been preparing for a long time was written thousands of miles away. Let me complete my dreams, memories, thoughts, and insights. Maybe this "going up the mountain" can fill the empty area in my heart about Lushan Mountain.

This is probably the thirty-fifth time I went to Mount Lu. My body is in Ganzhou. God, thought, and dream travel through time, space, and dimensions, drifting to Mount Lu in my dream? I dream back to Mount Lu. !

These days have always been the Mid-Autumn Festival. My sister-in-law took my grandparents to Nanchang to stay for a few days. I took the No. 107 bus (footnote 6) from school and went to Bayi Park to accompany my grandpa. Grandma takes a walk. The park was decorated with lights and colorful decorations, and there was laughter and laughter. Grandpa threw away his walking stick, held his hand behind his back, held his short and fat grandma in his arms, pointed at the moon cake lantern on the lake and said to me: "Grandson, tomorrow we will go to Donglin Temple to pick up your great-grandmother (footnote 5), don't you Forgot to ask your dad to bring her favorite nut mooncakes.

Your father loves his grandma the most. Grandma stroked my head with a kind look on her face. Zixi must also love her grandma. ?

I hugged my grandparents and got close to each other. I was so happy. Tomorrow I can pick up my great-grandmother and go up the mountain with her. She holds the precepts and worships the Buddha at Donglin Temple. She is about 100 years old. Yes, I will also call Yujie and Enzai over. Neither my great-grandmother nor my grandparents have seen Enzai.

On the second day of autumn, we sat on the No. 107 bus and drove along the path shaded by maple trees to Donglin Temple to pick up my great-grandmother. The warm sunshine shines through the fiery red maple leaves on the bus. I open the manual window and let the cool mountain breeze fill the entire carriage. Grandpa, with his silver hair slicked back, set up the Peking Opera, and grandma immediately sang the Peking Opera "Dream Back to Lushan": "The loving mother is bleeding in bed and chanting, and Zhang Sheng goes to Lulin in search of medicine." After saving the white bird from falling off the cliff, the goddess repaid her kindness and turned into a golden spirit (footnote 7). There was joy and laughter in the car, and the parents and aunts applauded and cheered. All the aunts and uncles were there. Enen played with Lego and sat in Yujie's arms, shaking her little head and humming. Cousin Jiang Jiang and cousin Rocky are playing "Nintendo" (footnote 8).

? Zixi, Donglin Temple has arrived. ?The driver was Yao Jiu. He turned around with a smile on his face.

?Brother, let’s go pick up mom together. ? Man Gong said to his grandfather drunkenly.

Grandpa stood up forcefully, took grandma in hand and gave the order: "Let's go, pick up mom, go up Mount Lu to enjoy the moon!"

"Oh, pick up grandma!" Pick up great-grandmother Come on! Pick up your great-great-grandmother!

Mom, dad, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, Yaojiu Laifei, Enzai Kaikai? cheered and followed the grandparents out of the car.

Outside Donglin Temple, there are towering pines and cypresses, red maples everywhere, and curls of clouds and smoke drifting out from the high walls with carved beams and glazed tiles. We knocked on the copper ring and pushed open the red lacquer wooden door. The door creaked open, and a group of crows fled. A hunchbacked old lady wearing a black velvet forehead cap, azure green coat, black pants and black cloth shoes appeared in front of us.

She was removing the iron wires binding several bonsais with her hands like dry tree bark (footnote 9), muttering something like: Amitabha, sin, sin

?Mom, grandma, great-grandmother, great-grandmother. Bai, rushed forward, knelt in front of her, raised his head and looked at her.

Great-grandmother looked up at the sun, smiled with wrinkles on her face, moved her mouth, revealing a few dentures, tremblingly took out the red envelopes from the side pocket of her coat, and distributed them one by one: Meitang, Xiuzhen , Minggu, Weixiang, Zixi, Yujie? Enen is my great-great-grandson, right? I haven’t seen him yet. Well, well, well, we are full of children and grandchildren. We are full of children and grandchildren

We took my great-grandmother and got on the bus. , drive from the south gate toward the top of the mountain. Along the way, there are no vendors or tour guides standing in the middle of the road soliciting customers, and there are no local cars cornering like airplanes. Under the setting sun, in the autumn wind, among the mountains and rivers, and on the white clouds, we surrounded my great-grandmother with laughter and laughter, and confided in us our lovesickness of the past twenty years.

Yao Jiu drove around to Wangjiang Pavilion to see the sunset, to Hanpokou to see the sunrise, to Guanyun Pavilion to see the sea of ??clouds, to Huajing to see the flowers, and to Tiechuanfeng to see the flowers. Jinsong, went around to Sandiequan to see the waterfall, around to Jinxiu Valley to see the Immortal Cave, around to Scissor Gorge to see the cliffs, around to Guyun Peak to see the rivers and lakes, around to Dayue Lake to see the shooting stars, around to Luqin Lake to listen to the spring rain, around to the Lu Linhu to see the autumn colors, detoured to Guling Street to see the winter snow, and detoured to Dalin Road to get shade in the summer?

The car just drove all the way, and we were not tired or sleepy. The scenery changes with the four seasons. The bus finally arrived at No. 38 Xiangshan Road, our apartment, the Garden Villa Hotel. We laid out pastries and fruits in the garden, spread out the tablecloths, and sat on the floor.

Great-grandmother was sitting on a wicker chair, looking up at the starry sky through the two century-old yew trees in the garden and said: "Zixi, can the moon come out?

Mrs. ( Footnote 10), please wait, my friends are not here yet. ?I quickly closed my eyes and thought hard, and my friends appeared one by one. I stroked a vine next to me and opened another bottle of Tsingtao beer. Mr. Ji Xianlin and Feng Zikai also appeared one after another (footnote 11).

I looked at all my relatives and friends, and then shouted to the starry sky: "Moon, come out!"

Here it comes, here it comes! The moon looms in the sky, yellow. Yellow, white, fat, and round, it is getting bigger and brighter. Sister Chang'e waved her colorful cloud gauze clothes and floated down from the moon, landing in the garden and dancing gracefully. The Jade Rabbit and my pet Mimi (footnote 12) played under my great-grandmother's wicker chair. Grandpa danced with his arms around grandma. Ballroom dancing, En En and Brother Kai playing hide-and-seek in the shadow of the moon, friends chatting and reciting poems, I sang to my heart's content and lingered among relatives and friends, pouring wine and tea, and handing out moon cakes?

This is The most reunion trip to Mount Lushan has the most beautiful night and the fullest moon. I finally found the missing piece of the puzzle in my memories of Lushan, which is the superposition of all the good memories. It is the happiness that can never be realized in reality and can never be possessed again. My face burst into tears, and the crying woke me up from my dream. I didn't bother to wipe away the tears, and quickly wrote down all this, and forever fixed my happiness in this article "Dream Back to Lushan".