Skipping a relationship, getting married, and getting pregnant, the 33-year-old female CEO's "spousless" parenting became popular

A phenomenon was observed some time ago.

Under almost every social platform where pictures or videos of babies are posted, there will be a comment like this: How to skip dating and marriage and directly have such a cute child?

"I don't want to get married, I want to have children" seems to be the dream state of many girls.

Among the tens of millions of girls who have this idea, someone has realized it three years ago. She is Ye Haiyang.

You may not recognize her just by her name, but you must have heard about the woman who traveled overseas and spent 500,000 yuan to find a child, and finally gave birth to a mixed-race baby Doris from five countries.

I checked her social media recently and found that she is planning to have a second child!

During the May Day holiday that just passed, she went to Russia to collect eggs. She spent 168,000 to check her body, prepare for surgery, screen sperm... and also used a pair of twin embryos that had been stored in the United States. The plane was transferred to Russia.

At the same time, he also continued to purchase the sperm of his daughter Doris’s biological father, seemingly intending to give his daughter a younger brother or sister with the same father and mother.

To be honest, even if we discuss the matter of buying sperm to have children in the current social environment, it is an unconventional, avant-garde thing that is not recognized by the world.

"She did many things that women dare not think of and are not capable of doing."

Others shared their own similar experiences.

It turns out that Ye Haiyang, who skipped dating, got married, got pregnant, and raised a child alone, had already lived a life that all women would envy.

Back in 2017, 29-year-old Ye Haiyang was a strong woman with a successful career.

Although she had resisted her family’s arrangement of taking public postgraduate entrance examinations before; she had been a drifter in Beijing and lived in a basement; her business venture in Guangzhou also had twists and turns.

But with her stubbornness, she still established her own brand, opened a cosmetics company, and became the CEO.

There is a kind of pursuit and persistence in Ye Haiyang’s heart.

So when her parents pressed her to get married because she was older, she resisted again.

Finding someone to live with for the rest of his life was not what Ye Haiyang would do. After thinking for a long time, he made a bold decision - not to get married, but to have children.

She immediately flew to the United States and began to inquire about how to buy sperm for children.

From various physical examinations to buying sperm, retrieving eggs, and transferring embryos... Ye Haiyang spent more than 500,000 yuan on a set of procedures.

Because she wants to give birth to a healthy and lively baby, the sperm she chooses are from the "three top" candidates from Ivy League schools. In terms of personality, she also requires the father of the child to be as outgoing as possible.

On the day the embryo was implanted, Ye Haiyang cried. She watched a small white dot being pushed into her body on the screen of the B-ultrasound machine. She suddenly began to worry about whether she could take good care of her.

After getting off the operating table, I even became cautious when walking: "Because I'm afraid she will fall out."

To be honest, "couple-free" parenting really requires a lot of effort. courage.

Buying a sperm baby like Ye Haiyang not only has to spend money but also undergo various complicated physical examinations. You also have to endure pregnancy reactions and gain weight during pregnancy. It is painful and tiring.

In the third trimester of pregnancy, her weight soared to 186 pounds. She suffered from depression due to hormone instability and bad mood.

At that time, she was always crying for no reason. She had no self-confidence because she had gained weight, and because her mobility was becoming more and more inconvenient, she would occasionally feel sad when she went for prenatal check-ups.

But even though she suffered a lot, the thing she thought about most was: give birth to the baby as soon as possible. The baby must be healthy.

"Now I am mature and can give my child a good family education, growth environment, and economic conditions, so I chose to get pregnant."

Because it was my choice Life, so no matter how difficult it is, we can only move forward!

But what I didn’t expect was that after suffering the pain of pregnancy and childbirth, as well as the hardship of raising children alone, she would want a second child.

Her daughter Doris is now over three years old and in kindergarten.

Looking at Ye Haiyang’s social platform, it is not difficult to find that she is either spending time with her daughter or spending time with her daughter.

The real reason that prompted her to want to have a second child was precisely because of this incident.

On the first day of sending his daughter to school, Ye Haiyang felt separation anxiety for the first time.

My daughter entered the park obediently and had a lot of fun with the children. However, Ye Haiyang stayed outside the park for a long time and broke down crying when he returned to the car.

She suddenly realized that she might not be able to stay with her daughter for a long time.

People are inevitably subject to birth, old age, illness and death. If they have a younger brother or younger sister, and the two of them can accompany each other, they may not be too sad when they have to leave in the future.

For Ye Haiyang, having a second child may just be a hope that his child can have another person to rely on besides himself.

The matter of having children out of wedlock is inherently controversial. As many people admire and admire it as there are people who doubt it:

“Having children out of wedlock is too unusual and is not accepted by the public. If you accept it, the child will not be able to hold his head up for the rest of his life. "

"Single parenting brings many inconveniences in life. Women cannot live without men. "

"Single-parent families are not conducive to the growth of children. It’s too selfish to be responsible. ”

…

When I gave birth to my daughter four years ago, there were many doubts. Now that I am preparing to have a second child, the number of doubts has increased. Some unfounded worries:

"Have you asked your daughter about giving birth to a second child?"

"Aren't you afraid that you will be partial?"

...

In fact, Ye Haiyang also wavered when she thought that she could not give her daughter a father and could not explain how she came to be, but she also tried her best to make up for these "regrets" that she could not do. .

When Ye Haiyang became a mother for the first time, it was difficult.

During the breastfeeding period, she had to set her alarm clock to breastfeed in the middle of the night, and she never slept a full night's sleep in a year.

When I started to feed porridge, Doris always held it in her mouth but refused to swallow it. She was always worried that she was hungry and worried that she was not hungry.

Thinking that I might not be able to explain to her why I couldn’t give her a father, I started to write a letter home to Doris and keep it for her to read when she grows up.

"Mom is sorry that I can't give you a father, but I will teach you to be brave and protect you like a father, and I will give you gentleness and encouragement like a mother."

In order to Protect your daughter, start exercising, put on an apron, and learn to make complementary foods for your baby.

In order to protect the child's innocence as much as possible before she grew up, I bought a big watermelon with good intentions, emptied my heart, put my daughter in it, and "lied" her by saying: You It came out of the watermelon, and I took a photo as evidence.

Before giving birth to Doris, Ye Haiyang loved extreme sports, such as sailing, surfing, skiing, skydiving... whatever was exciting.

But after giving birth to Doris, she began to become timid: "I am the backbone of the family, and safety is the most important thing. I have to try to spend more time with her (daughter)"

She will often take her daughter to travel abroad, let her step barefoot on the beach, and call many of her friends on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday in her own dialect.

Although Doris is still young and cannot understand, Ye Haiyang did this to let his daughter know that even if she does not have a so-called "dad", she has always been loved by many people.

Under her education and love, Doris is more mature and sensible than ordinary children. At a young age, she knows how to throw garbage into the trash can, take out the garbage, and make coffee in a decent manner.

Some time ago, Doris was performing in a children's show in Shenzhen. A little girl squeezed in next to her. Not only did she not cry or make a fuss, she also generously gave up her seat to her and ran to the side to sit down. She was humble. And well-behaved.

In Ye Haiyang’s view, she did not bring her into this world irresponsibly:

“I gave birth to a child by myself, and I did not disturb other people in society. , close the door and live our own lives. As a woman, I will give her the love of my father and my mother as much as possible. I don’t need to be ashamed or sorry. I am trying to give my family the best life.”

Regarding family and love, many people actually have deviated understandings.

People often brainwash themselves into thinking that "complete family" = "complete love", but in fact many complete families cannot give complete love.

"Widowed parenting", marriages without feelings but compromising for the sake of children...these families bring no less harm to the children. The so-called "complete family" is just a facade maintained by hard work. .

It is better to be like Ye Haiyang and face marriage and children openly.

"My daughter is not a necessity for any accident or marriage. She is the only one I look forward to and love wholeheartedly."

There is no right or wrong in having children out of wedlock. , and there is nothing that can be done to make it better.

Ye Haiyang is not the first woman to give birth to a child out of wedlock, and she will certainly not be the last.

Taking a closer look, Lucy Liu, the "fatal woman" in Hollywood, chose to be single and have children 8 years ago;

Take a closer look, it is directly official whether she is in love or married. Reyza, who has a baby, Wang Ziwen, a single mother who bravely pursues love with her children, and Cecilia Cheung, who pursues having three children after divorce...

More and more women are realizing that they want to have a child. Marriage is not necessarily required.

Just like Xu Jinglei said after choosing to freeze her eggs:

“I don’t think marriage and children are the ultimate meaning of my life, but I want to leave one more for myself. Option, this is the only regret medicine in the world. I want to hold on to my right to have a child.”

As a female CEO with a net worth of over 100 million, Ye Haiyang has time, money and energy, as long as she is willing. You can choose to raise a child alone.

But writing Ye Haiyang’s story is not to encourage everyone to have children out of wedlock, nor to praise this lifestyle, but to lament that there are many possibilities in the life of girls.

Women can choose to get married or not, and they can choose to get married and have children or not. The only thing I want to express is that I hope everyone has the courage and ability to Choose the life you want.

While reading Ye Haiyang’s story, there was one comment that was very touching:

“If my daughter chooses this way in the future, I fully agree and will provide as much help as I can with money and effort; But if she is as lucky as me to marry in love, I will happily send her off and prepare a good dowry for her.

I will respect every lifestyle she chooses, because I love her. She. ”

All mothers in the world love their children, and I hope that all mothers in the world can also love themselves.

After all, having the ability to love yourself and having the ability to love others is the best state of a woman.