Classic lovers' humorous jokes

Xu Xian ran on the road in a panic and said to everyone, "Today I realized that my wife is a snake. It's terrible! "

Passerby A: "What's so strange about a wife being a snake? Not terrible. Not terrible. "

Xu Xian wondered, "Isn't this terrible?"

Passerby A: "My tigress is terrible!" " "

Passerby B: "My family has a Hedong lion. . . "

My wife said to me: it's too hot in summer to cook!

I said, then make up quickly!

She said happily, you take me out to eat?

I said, no, it will be evening after you put on makeup, and it will be cold when cooking.

The wife scolded her husband with tears: "I told you two weeks ago that you don't have to buy anything for my birthday." But you still don't remember my birthday! "

My wife is pregnant and her weight has soared. I said to her: Look at your fat, I really can't stand it!

The loafer's wife replied: Where did you get the courage to play a joke on a man who turned rice into shit? ! !

A couple were traveling in the wild when suddenly they met a tiger. My husband didn't hesitate to go up and fight with the tiger, and finally drove it away.

Wife: "You are so brave. You are not afraid of such a big tiger. "

Husband: "What's to be afraid of! I spent so many years with you, a tigress. Did I live in vain? "

I went shopping at noon and bought a bag of spiced peanuts for my wife. The wife took it, opened the bag and ate it with relish.

I asked my wife, "What happened? Does it smell like peanuts? "

My wife gave me a white look and replied bitterly: "Of course it smells good. You don't want to think that people's peanuts have such a good living environment and must be excellent varieties! "

Seeing that I didn't understand, my wife picked up a kind peanut and explained, "Look, a family of three lives in three bedrooms, unlike our family."

Sleeping in bed at night, my wife asked: Do you still love me after so many years of marriage?

Me: Love

Wife: How much?

Me: Very much.

Wife: I love you very much.

Me: I like it very much, very much.

Wife: I love you very much. I love you very much.

Me: love, love, love.

Wife: Love, love, what is love?

Me:. . . . . .

Wife: Go to sleep if you can't say it. . .

Shopping with my second-rate wife, she took a fancy to a skirt. I think it's too exposed to let her buy it.

She said, I'll just try, okay.

Looking at her poor little eyes, I gave in.

As a result, she put on a skirt. . . . Run away like the wind.

Made a mess of me and the salesman. . .

Lying on the sofa watching Korean dramas with my husband at night. The hostess posed sexy and lay on her side.

I've also studied it, and I'm going to seduce my husband. The bum husband came up without saying anything, patted my ass and shouted, "Don't fart."

I got the marriage certificate and went home for dinner. My husband said in a low voice, Hum, I got the certificate and finally I want to turn over and be the master! !

Give him a sneer: then why are you turning over here to cut vegetables?

He dragged his tone even heavier: hum! I can do whatever I want! ! !