What are the unique customs of Tibetan weddings?

Proposal There are different forms for Tibetan young men and women to propose marriage in various places. Generally speaking, they get to know each other and become husband and wife after falling in love. However, their love style is quite unique. Grabbing hats in Tibetan areas of Qinghai is one of them. This is mainly done by men asking for help from women. If a young man falls in love with a girl, instead of proposing to her and confessing his love, he will try to steal the hat from her head. After grabbing the hat, he returned it after a few days. If the girl has feelings for the young man, she will happily take back her hat. If the girl doesn't like it, she doesn't even want the hat. The way a girl expresses her love to a young man is by giving him accessories such as earrings or necklaces that he wears. If the young man likes it, he will accept the token sent by the girl, otherwise he will not be allowed to accept the girl's things. In the Guoluo Tibetan area of ??Qinghai, men and women who are not good at singing folk songs use other clever bamboo methods to communicate their emotions. If the man is interested in the woman, he will throw a piece of cow dung into the woman's ring. The local Tibetan language calls cow dung "Owa", which has a similar sound to the Tibetan word "lai", which implies that he wants to date the woman. If the woman has no reaction, it means she disagrees; if she throws a paper ball or wooden stick back at the man, she means she agrees to go on a date with him, because the pronunciations of "paper" and "please" are similar in Tibetan. Robbed marriages are a common practice in many Tibetan areas. When marriage robbery loses its original nature of robbery and becomes a form of wedding custom, it reflects the style of Tibetan areas from one side and shows the most typical and interesting characteristics of Tibetan wedding customs. Under the white throne of Mount Everest, there live powerful mountain people called Sherpas. They are famous throughout the world for their perseverance and ability to climb ice peaks and snowy ridges. Sherpa means oriental. They claim that their ancestors are a branch of the Tibetan people on the Jinsha River in the East. About 7 centuries ago, in order to avoid the continuous wars, the entire tribe trekked thousands of kilometers westward, and finally settled at the foot of Mount Everest, which is almost isolated from the world. They thrive in the green narrow valleys shaded by white snow and red pines. Their speech and customs also have some characteristics of the medieval Kham people. Marriage robbery is a form of marriage passed down from ancient times. With the development of the times, the forms of marriage robbery are also changing. There are two forms of marriage robbery among the Sherpa people in modern times. First, both parents agreed on a marriage, but they kept it from the girl or told her, but she was unwilling, so they resorted to "robbing the marriage" to achieve their goal. After the preparations for the wedding were completed in secret, the girl's parents found a more common excuse, such as letting her go to the mountains to chop wood, carry water by the river, offer incense in the temple, or go to the future parents-in-law's house to borrow fire and salt. , her future husband, with relatives and friends, ambushed somewhere. When the girl came over, everyone swarmed up and grabbed her. The groom wrapped her in a big shawl and carried her into the house to forcefully hold the wedding. This kind of "robbing marriage" often ends in tragedy. There is also another form where young men and women develop feelings during production and life, fall in love with each other, and make a private life-long commitment. However, the parents of both parties or one party firmly refuse to agree to the marriage, making their union impossible; or even though the marriage contract is signed, the girl's family In order to get more wealth and betrothal gifts, girls and boys have been reluctant to marry off their daughters, which makes girls and boys feel depressed. They couldn't bear it anymore, so they had to solve the problem by "robbing the bride". The young man invited his close friends to hide in the forest or behind rocks beside the road in advance. The girl deliberately passed by their hiding place according to the pre-discussed plan. At this time, like a group of robbers, the young man jumped out to block the way. After some pretentious "fighting", the girl was captured and "hijacked" to one of the most secret caves in the deep mountains and forests. A considerable amount of food has been stored there for a long time, and the young couple lived a sweet and somewhat exciting married life there. Marriage customs in Tibetan areas still retain ancient folk customs. There is no red tape at all, but they are full of poetry and painting. The wedding ceremony is very strange, but the strangeness contains profound taste, full of simplicity and romance, and is full of national character and characteristics. It is a mirror reflecting the colorful life of the Tibetan people. If wedding customs are a window into society, then through this window, when we share the joy, we can enjoy observing the social history and social life of Tibetans... According to the social habits of Tibetan areas in Qinghai, women If there is no connection between young men and women, the matchmaker should be a man of high moral character and respect. A very important condition that this man must possess is that he must be well versed in etiquette, be good at speaking, be eloquent, understand traditional proverbs and maxims, and have a musical rhythm in his language. For such a good speaker, Amdo Tibetan calls him "Xuekan". A man with the title of "Xuekan" is famous and respected by people wherever he goes. The day before the wedding, the girl's family sets up a "daughter's banquet" to entertain relatives and friends who are sending her off. In the temporary wedding tent, the female family members dressed up the girl carefully, and the children stood on a high hill and looked into the distance, waiting for the new son-in-law to come to welcome the bride. The wedding team arrived. The groom was accompanied by his cousins, who were about the same age as him. Under the leadership of the matchmaker, they arrived in a mighty and majestic manner with fast horses galloping. The children were busy tying the horses, the men went to greet them, and the women lined up in two lines to greet them. The matchmaker walked over with his head held high, and the young guests walked over...

Just when the groom, who was walking at the end according to the rules, just entered the crowd, the women suddenly shouted "ah, ah, ah," and raised the buckets they had prepared and poured them at the groom. How could the young man withstand this fierce water fight? Don't forget. This is the ninth cold day when drops of water turn into ice! Suddenly, he lost his mind, lost his prestige and etiquette, and rushed into the girl's house with his head in his hands. His embarrassment made the relatives and friends who were watching jump and laugh. The clear water is made from the melted white snow in the mountains and symbolizes good luck. The meaning of pouring water on the new son-in-law is to wish the newlyweds to respect each other and love each other, so that their love can be as deep as the river, as long as the river, and as holy and flawless as the snow-capped peaks. However, this holy scripture of beautiful wishes should be received by the newlyweds together. Why should the young man enjoy it alone? This is thought-provoking: Isn’t this a symbolic reappearance in modern Tibetan wedding ceremonies of the punishment that women in ancient matrilineal families imposed on men who promoted the patriarchal family system and dared to kidnap girls? From this point of view, from ancient times to the present, in order to lay the foundation of a patriarchal family, men have endured a series of tortuous and difficult processes, including being beaten with sticks and splashed with water, which enabled people to see this variation in folk customs from punishment to teasing. Wedding customs The lively wedding is over. Accompanied by the bridesmaids, the bride entered the wedding tent, a temporary white cloth tent decorated with various auspicious patterns. The groom's deacons were busy preparing the wedding banquet. Entertain distinguished guests with the most sumptuous wedding banquet. After the "Wedding Banquet", the party will begin. The deacons held wine bowls in their hands and sang drinking songs to toast the guests one by one. At this time, the simple tent wedding reached a happy climax. In this carnival night, only the bride is the loneliest. She must not eat or drink and continue her hunger strike. No one is allowed to peek at her from behind the curtain, let alone enter her holy territory. Only the bridesmaid sleeps with her. This is a strange wedding night without a groom! People can't help but ask, where is the groom? According to the customs in Tibetan areas of Qinghai, the groom does not have any obligations in this wedding ceremony. He does not need to worship heaven and earth, does not need to worship in high halls, and does not need to worship husband and wife. He is not allowed to wear gorgeous clothes, so he has to "step aside." Some grooms are happy to rest in the empty tent; some help the deacons with their dishes and run errands; some even catch up with the sheep to graze. Qinghai Tibetan areas still retain the ancient custom of "not leaving your husband's family behind". "Not leaving the husband's house" refers to the custom of the bride living in her natal family for a long period of time after marriage. The length of time that the bride stays in her natal home varies from a few months to one, two or even several years. During this period, the newlyweds, the lovers in two places, the loving couple, despite the obstacles of mountains and rivers, the bride and groom are still like "sunflowers" in love. In order to deal with the sorrow of separation and to pass the lonely years, they Just like the days before marriage, go to the middle of the grassland and pour out your heart.