Funny, funny, talk about mood phrases

1, you are showing off in an ostentatious manner with your sisters. Do you believe me?

2. My sister gave birth to a washing machine. Dude, just dump it.

3. Spend money at school and work time.

If a man doesn't help you put on the wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

I took a fancy to you because I was out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

6. People who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and people who don't eat fat are fearless.

7. Your appearance is not accurate and your proportion is not good.

8. I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods.

9, clothes, it has two ways of washing, washing yourself and washing others.

10, who says I don't know anything? Let Shi and Dong Shi stand in front of me and have a try.

1 1. Have the ability to study atomic bombs, but have no ability to study tea eggs.

12, save water and try to take a shower with your girlfriend.

13, don't do anything wrong and pour all the dirty water on yourself. I have to save it for flushing the toilet.

14, I am arrogant and petty, so you can't afford to be hurt.

15, don't tell me to grow old together, I want to have black hair forever.

On the train, a white woman and a black woman are nursing their baby. Mom, mom, white baby, don't be a coquette. I want to drink chocolate milk, too.

17, you are the first song in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.

18, if one day I become a pervert, please don't forget that I am innocent.

19. How many children have been hurt by exams, and how many honest children have learned to cheat?

20, phoenix rebirth is nirvana, pheasant rebirth is corpse change.

2 1, I just found out that the way to attract a man is to make him never get it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to satisfy her.

22. Clear water makes no fish. If a man is cheap, he is invincible.

23, who is whose husband, are fucking temporary workers.

Very interesting mood phrases.

Very interesting mood phrases.

1. Mantis is showing off his hand to the grasshopper: Look how beautiful the knife in my hand is! Later, the rooster ate mantis. The grasshopper said proudly, I told you to bring a knife. Don't you know that you are suppressing?

You occupied four seats in the theater, and when someone called you up, you only helped twice. The security guard came over and said, "Damn ~ Brother, which way is it?" You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

A Qiang said to his friend, "I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me for two months. " "You have to think about it!" A friend advised him, "such a wife is hard to find now."

4. The little turtle saw a snail practicing long-distance running and asked: What are you doing, slow? Snail: I am practicing long-distance running. The tortoise said contemptuously, come up and I'll show you. An earthworm on the turtle's back saw the snail and said, sit still, you are old.

A farmer took a taxi for the first time. He is afraid that the taxi driver in the city will kill the passengers. When he arrived at the station, he took out a screwdriver and asked, "How much is it?" I saw the driver take out a kitchen knife and shave and say, "Do it at your will!" "

6. "Dad, someone stole our car." "Do you know that man?" "I didn't pay attention, but I remembered the car number!"

7. Why are you doing this? What have I done to you? If you want to tell everyone about me like this, can't you just tell me? You have to advertise everywhere like this, tell me! Why do you tell people everywhere … I am handsome!

8. I miss you a little. I really want to ask you out to meet you, but I dare not … My heart is really in a mess … Every time I see you, I feel like a deer.

9. Animal puzzles. Tortoise butt: regulation. Turtle stands upside down: There are rules on it. Turtle somersault: one rule after another. There is a little turtle on the turtle's back: there are new rules on it.

10. Customer: Since I used the hair tonic I bought from you, why did my hair fall out? Shop assistant: Yes, sir. If you want to grow new hair, you must make room for it first.

1 1. Seedless watermelon has been successfully developed, and it has participated in various celebration parties and reports frequently, with unlimited scenery. Other watermelons are envious. A watermelon is indignant: what is beautiful? There is no next generation.

12. A group of thieves robbed a bank and were photographed. The thief said: Brother, our movie dream has finally come true! The boss angrily said, idiot! Why don't you use your brain? Put on the mask, who knows which wrist we are.

13. Please note that there is a quiz: the contestants are elephants, you and pigs. Through fierce competition, it is concluded that elephants are smarter than pigs and you are smarter than elephants. The final ranking is: you are like a pig. Applause!

14. The little tiger blushed and asked the little squirrel: Can I eat you? The little squirrel thought it was fun and said, is this your first time to eat animals? Little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, yes, mom is not at home. I used to suck milk.

15. The wolf was ill, and the rabbit came to see him with carrots. Wolf: Come as soon as you come. What other gifts do you bring? Rabbit: I came to see you, but they said you might not like it. Wolf: I like your gift very much, Mr. Carrot.

16. The netizen couldn't find a convenient place and asked the boss: Isn't there a toilet here? "Pretend." The boss replied, "Find it yourself." "I can't find it." The netizen looked at it for a while and said. "Then download one."

Interesting mood phrases

1. Stealing a mobile phone in class is generally like this _, _, _, _

2. When you grow up, you should strive for the awesome power that you blew when you were a child.

The headmaster passed by the back door of the school one day and suddenly heard a sentence: I want to take the Oxford exam! The headmaster was immediately moved. I didn't expect such ambitious young people in our school. I decided to see who it was, and suddenly I heard another sentence: two more big kidneys! ! ! The headmaster was silent and concealed his merits and reputation.

Although I don't know what the math teacher said in class, I feel very powerful.

5. Teach you how to buy a bottle of water and drink five bottles: now go to the store to buy a bottle of Master Kong Jasmine Honey Tea, drink half of the water and turn it into jasmine tea, then drink half of it into sugar-free jasmine tea, then drink half of it with water and turn it into Nongfu Spring, which is a little sweet, and then drink half of it with water and turn it into mineral water! Do you think it's good to buy a bottle of water and drink five flavors?

6. Now some students like to invite people to dinner when they have nothing to do, but some people want to stop them from giving money. Is this the time for us to eat soft rice? For such students, I only have four words: please contact me!

7. The most boring, with TV on, cell phone pressed, snacks chewed and computer watched. You have wood.

8. When you tell your father that you are hungry, his father will say: Let's go, my father will take you to the restaurant; You tell your mother that you are hungry, and her mother will say: What do you want to eat, my mother will make it for you; You tell your boyfriend that you are hungry, and his boyfriend will say: I will buy whatever I want to eat; And when you tell your girlfriend that you are hungry, your girlfriend will often say: Me too. . . . .

9. When signing the divorce, Li wrote his name as Li, and the staff reminded him that your bird was gone. Li: I don't have a wife. What is the use of birds? Without saying anything, Faye Wong signed his name as Faye Wong, and the staff reminded Faye Wong that you forgot to write your grass. Faye Wong: Divorced, fuck!

10. There is only one sentence in the world that has lied to me 10 million times before I believe it, and that is: the teacher is coming!

Funny mood phrase: If the director lets Big Wolf eat a sheep, the ratings will definitely skyrocket.

1 1. I don't hate you or anything, but if you are on fire and I happen to have a glass of water, I will drink it.

12. Just now, a flustered woman rushed out of a room and answered the phone in the aisle, saying, hello, husband, I'm in Carrefour! At this time, the clear voice of the cleaning aunt rang out in the corridor: front desk, front desk, check out of room 8 13! ! !

13. For so many years, I have been learning one thing, that is, how to avoid learning.

14. Two ants were walking on the road when they suddenly saw a big pear hitting N countries. An ant said: Hey, big pear (Italy); Another ant said: Oh, big pear (Australia) Hey, move (Spain); Housekeeping (Bulgaria); Eat pears (Kenya); Pears are not tender (Lebanon).

15. Mathematics depends on talent for three points, hard work for seven points, and there is nothing I can do about the remaining 90 points.

16. The stylist asked me what I wanted to do today. . I replied: no perm, no hair dye, no nutrition, no membership card, no hair accessories, just cut it short. From now on, whoever speaks first is a bastard. Let's cut it!

17. Can teenagers hang themselves when their hair reaches their waist?

18. It takes 1 hour to sleep at night. Sleep for 30 minutes when you are bored. It takes 10 minutes to fall asleep while reading. It takes five minutes to fall asleep at work. Turn off the alarm clock in the morning and fall asleep as soon as you lie down. It only takes half a second. . .

19. The young man asked the Zen master: Faye Wong and Li are divorced. Love doesn't exist? The Zen master smiled, pointed to a mallet in front of him and said to the young man, just look at it and you will understand. The young man thought deeply for a long time, and said thoughtfully, What the master means is that the meaning of love, like this small mallet, seems insignificant, and as long as you persist, it will be strong? The master closed his eyes and said, No! I mean: divorce is none of your business!

20. If the director lets Big Wolf eat a sheep, the ratings will definitely skyrocket.

2 1.XX went to a car sales center, only to find that he took out 2000 yuan and slapped it on the table: give me a Santana. The clerk was shocked: you don't have enough money! XX doesn't understand: Isn't Santana 2000 written outside? Shop assistant: Oh, go out and turn right. That company's Mercedes is only 600!

22. A good girlfriend can save 20G space for your computer. A good boyfriend can save you 200 Fu Nan batteries.

23. Girls will quarrel with their husbands and go back to their parents' homes. Learn to be smart. What passbook and clothes you bring are all weaknesses. Listen carefully to the tape: air conditioner remote control, TV remote control, his driver's license, ID card, car keys, change the computer and WiFi password, and then go back to your parents' home with peace of mind! I can't believe he doesn't know where he is wrong ~

24. Me: Can you do less homework? Homework: I can't do it.

25. Opposite is the junior girls' dormitory. Looking at the opposite side at night, it's indecent to see the naked senior sisters moving in the dormitory in underpants! Shameless! I gnashed my teeth with my roommate's telescope all night, but I couldn't calm down for a long time. . . . .

Funny talk, funny talk about sentences

1. I heard that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading when I was young.

2. Now I don't even want to set the password of the bank card. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.

I hope that when the results come out, I will feel guilty that I don't deserve such a high score.

I finally understand the gap between me and top students. She is lying on the table in a bad mood. Two minutes later, she suddenly straightened up and began to do her homework. I was in a bad mood and fell asleep after two minutes.

Time will make you understand that you can't wait for anything except take-away, bus and express delivery.

God, if you can't make me thin, make my friend fat! Tell jokes for fun.

7. I don't know how others turn pressure into motivation. Anyway, I will only turn stress into appetite.

8. Just a week after I started work, my colleague Li Ge came to ask me if I was married. I said, I don't have a girlfriend yet! He said in a friendly way, then you must tell me when you get married, and I will give you 1000 yuan. My affection for him exploded instantly, and I replied, then you must tell me when you get married. As a result, the next day, I received his invitation.

Just now, a mosquito got the last applause in my life.

10. Wow, I'm so angry today. An unknown person asked me where I was going, and I said it was none of your business, and then he kicked me out of the taxi.

1 1. Don't use a honey trap on me, or I will accompany you.

12. Isn't the school divided into classes again? Teachers all want their students to get good grades. Two class teachers actually got into a fight because of me, arguing while fighting: why should he be assigned to our class and affect our average score!

13. I don't need everyone to be happy. I live to make people who hate me more and more unhappy.

14. I have a crush on a girl, but I always write her name online. Every time the courier calls her, I will say: My wife is out, just give it to me!

15. The university you want to go to and the person you like always go to the last one.

16. I had a quarrel with my daughter-in-law this morning. My daughter-in-law ignored me angrily. It's almost noon. I was so hungry that I wrote a note for my dog to take to my wife. After a long silence, I went to the living room to have a look. I saw my wife feed the dog a sausage and said, I know you are hungry. Eat more.

17. Books are rarely used, and there is not enough money to spend by the end of the month.

18. Whenever my parents tell me to concentrate on my studies and not to be with anyone, I feel very helpless: What can I do? There are so many people chasing me.

19. No matter how disappointing the world is, some things still need to be persisted. My principles and bottom line can be summarized in four words. What four words? You can't be hungry!

20. I like a girl in my class for a long time, and finally I have the courage to confess to her. I tried to tell her: I like a girl in my class. She is gentle and considerate, beautiful and lovely. Do you want to know who it is? She blushed instantly and bowed her head and said shyly, as long as it's not me!

2 1. I went to the hospital today. The doctor said that my blood sugar was low and I needed a few sweet words.

22. I helped my friend a little. He said, thank you. I'll treat you to dinner another day! I waved and said, you're welcome. You have spent a lot recently. Save it. It would be better if I invited you. I don't want him to take out his cell phone and say, when? I'm going to make a memo so that I can be prepared. Shit, don't play cards according to the routine ~

23. You are handsome when you smoke, but you will die young.

24. In order to improve my listening comprehension, I told my roommate last week: In the future, we will communicate in English, and whoever violates the rules will be invited to dinner. The roommate agreed and said, well, that's what I thought. After that day, we hardly talked.