Collect jokes and brain teasers.

1. A classmate party came to my house. It was raining in Mao Mao, and I came with an umbrella. When the clouds stopped raining, MM went away. When she was about to put away her umbrella, she found that the umbrella cover was gone, and she shouted, "Where is my condom? I saw it just now, but now I need to use it. Why is it gone?" Who took my condom, hand it over quickly. " While rummaging around on the sofa.

2. I have a buddy who once went out to play with him and went to a restaurant with better chicken dishes when eating. When I heard that the chicken shoulders there were delicious, I said loudly: I want chicken shoulders, I want chicken shoulders! !

3. Colleagues go to Inner Mongolia to play and eat milk tea and meat in tents. Some people don't like the taste and want to eat with others. A lady said to the man on the edge: You eat my milk and I'll eat your eggs!

4. When I was in high school, I prepared props for a class get-together. I was responsible for stuffing some colorful scraps of paper into the balloon in advance. During class, I secretly prepared with my deskmate, I said. Hurry up! She said, if you open your mouth wider, it won't fit in. Me: OK, OK, you push! She: That's good, alas, my fingers are sore! When we put on the balloon and looked up, we found that all the boys in front were watching us ... embarrassed ~ ~

5. When we were in physical education class, a girl suddenly touched a boy's head (the boy's nickname was "Little Turtle") and then said, "glans" ...

6. When I first came to oz, I reported to the language center, but I was late, mostly. . . A south American mm saw it and ran enthusiastically. It was supposed to say do you wang to join me? The result is do you wang to enjoy me? . . . . . . . . . .

7. In winter, after work, I was wearing a coat and my mobile phone rang. Please ask a male colleague who is good with me to answer it. After the boy got through, he asked, "Who is it?" Then he said to me, "It's your husband", and then he said to the phone, "Wait a minute, she's wearing clothes." I was suddenly sweating ... I answered the phone quickly, and my husband called me 874

8. In junior high school, a female classmate in our class asked me to help her hand in the letter. As soon as she entered the classroom at noon, she asked me, "Did you hand in the letter?" . . There is no one in the whole dormitory who doesn't laugh.

9. In middle school, the teacher (female) asked the students to write ancient poems silently on the blackboard. As a result, one of the students inadvertently wrote "parking and sitting in the maple grove" as "* *", so the teacher circled these two words with a red pen and asked him loudly how he could write this "* *". Can you explain to me what it means? The whole class burst into laughter ...

1. One of my female netizens, who was from Hangzhou Post, used to work at the parcel desk of the post office. One day, the female excitedly asked her male colleagues around her: "I'm sitting at the desk today, which one of you will open the bag for me? ~ ~" All the people were in uproar ~ ~ ~ retreating ~ ~