The most humorous funny copywriting in the world

1. Before getting married, I was too embarrassed to go out without pretending to be a millionaire. After getting married, I feel very tough when I go out and pretend to be a hundred or two!

2. The three stupid things in life: 1. Reasoning with the boss.

2. Reason with my mother.

3. Reason with your wife.

3. Beijing is severely polluted and primary and secondary schools are on holiday, but adults have to go to work normally. This thing tells us: Cherish your student time, because once you grow up, you are no longer an individual.

4. I drank a cup of espresso coffee at Starbucks at night, but now I can’t sleep. It hurts to think about how expensive it is.

5. I went to the hospital for a physical examination. A girl in front of me who weighed more than 170 pounds received a report saying that her blood lipids were thick. The girl said: No wonder I weigh 180 pounds. It turns out to be blood weight. I...

6. A scumbag student fell in love early and was called to the office by his class teacher for a talk. After several hours of progressive enlightenment and persuasive education, the head teacher finally understood the reason why he could not find a girlfriend in his 30s.

7. The most classic sentence my mother said is: I am unlucky in this life. I met you two liars! Your dad cheated on you! You cheated money!

8. I trained my dog ??at home today. After the training, my husband walked over with heartache and said to the dog sincerely: "Oh, how dare you fight with a tiger? You are just a dog."

9. Teacher: You are not active in studying, so why are you so active in dating? You should be as active in studying as chasing a target, and your grades will not be like this. Xiao Ming: Teacher, please be single. Let me see if you chase nine people at once.

10. I got up in the morning and said to my mother: "Tomorrow I will also buy sunglasses, which can cover my ugliness!" My mother directly replied to me: "Sunglasses are not enough, buy a helmet." "Absolutely."

Eleven. A girl broke up with her boyfriend. Her classmate next to her comforted her: "What's so good about that guy? He's a civil engineering engineer. You can tell he's both "civilian" and "wooden". "Yes!" When the male software engineering student next to him heard this, his heart dropped.

12. If you reason with your lover, you don’t want to love anymore; if you reason with your wife, you don’t want to live a life; if you reason with your colleagues, you don’t want to mess around; if you reason with your boss, you don’t want to work anymore? Enlightenment: In life, there are many things that are unreasonable, so don’t make sense in anything you say.

13. When I brushed my teeth in the morning, my daughter wanted to use my toothpaste. I said, "You can't use it. You are still young, so you have to use the baby's toothpaste." My daughter gave me a cold look and said: "You use my baby cream every day, did I tell you?"

14. There is a group of great candidates for the college entrance examination. They know that their grades are very poor and they cannot afford to go to college, but they still insist on taking the college entrance examination. , they do it for no other reason than to lower the score line so that you can go to a good school. This kind of spirit of self-sacrifice for others is worth buying a bottle of AD calcium milk for you who have passed the entrance examination!

15. There is a reading question on the primary school Chinese test paper, which basically talks about a mother who endured all kinds of hardships for her children and finally died. After reading, students were asked to say a few words to their mother on Qingming Festival a year later. A primary school student wrote: "I wish my mother a happy Tomb Sweeping Day, may she be as blessed as the East China Sea, and live as long as the Southern Mountains!"

16. At night, we were all lying on the bed playing with our mobile phones, and a roommate called his daughter-in-law. All kinds of disgusting things, so I asked loudly, "Where are you calling your wife?" "Well, call your wife." "Which wife!" Then, and then nothing more!

Seventeen. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, a friend invited everyone to drink. When he was still drunk, he said: "In less than three years of marriage, I have had five mothers-in-law!" We all gave him a thumbs up, "You kid That’s great!” My friend shook his head and said, "I can't do it, my father-in-law can do it!"

18. I ordered KFC takeout on a whim and told the customer service that I hope it will be delivered quickly, otherwise I will starve to death. The takeaway was delivered in 15 minutes, and after paying, the tragedy happened. The customer message column on the receipt is printed directly: Deliver it quickly, the customer will starve to death.

19. My mother told me: Don’t wear shoes to bed. Only dead people wear shoes to bed! I was confused: According to this, wouldn’t most of the people in our class be dead? The key is to cheat after class!

Twenty. I brought a rooster back from my hometown. I was about to kill the rooster. My wife said she knew how to kill it, so I gave the rooster to her. I saw her holding a chicken by its neck and a knife in her hand! About ten minutes passed, and the chicken was strangled to death... She told me that she took the knife to distract the chicken.

21. Zhu Yuanzhang found 8 people to establish the Ming Dynasty; Jesus found 12 disciples to establish Christianity, one of the world's largest religions; Jack Ma found 18 people to establish the world's largest e-commerce empire; Confucius found 72 disciples , establish Confucianism and influence the whole world! I found three people and guess what? I couldn't get out of bed for two days after drinking!

22. One day, a drunk man got high. When he got home, he ran directly to the pig pen and slept with the pigs. He said: "Daughter-in-law, why don't you take off your clothes when you go to bed at night?" Sweater!”

23. When I was in the second grade of junior high school, the teacher asked me to write an essay on my deskmate. As a result, a male classmate in the class wrote: “My deskmate’s hair is so bad.” It’s black and shiny, as if it’s been overcooked, and flies will dodge when it lands on it.” I don’t have a house or a diamond ring, but I have a heart that will accompany you until you grow old. The degree of unreliability is similar to: Although I didn't read, didn't go to class, didn't review, and didn't do the questions, I had the determination not to fail the exam. The biggest misunderstanding about love is that it is omnipotent.

Twenty-five. You go to the gym every day. You must not have a girlfriend. You play the guitar so well. You must have failed many courses in college. You have traveled to so many countries. You must not have a formal job. You are so accomplished at such a young age. Your parents must work very hard. You wash cars every day. You must not have an underground garage. You know so much news and information. You must be very idle at work.