A very funny joke.

Very funny humor joke

1. A man accidentally fell while walking, just got up and fell down a few steps later, so he said to himself:? If I had known I would fall again, I wouldn't have got up just now. ?

2. I stayed in a small hotel overnight, and suddenly remembered that I had to get up early the next day, so I called the switchboard to ask if there was a bed call service. The female operator angrily said, "We don't provide this service. You can call the bed yourself if you want, but it can't affect the next room."

3. A tourist came to a hotel and saw this notice written on the door: All languages in this hotel are applicable. ?

He talked with the manager in English, German and Russian, but the manager said nothing, which was beyond reproach. So for a long time, the tourists were still unable to go through the housing formalities.

Finally, he asked in the local language:? Who here knows all kinds of languages?

the manager immediately replied:? Passengers. ?

4. When a soldier was carrying a bottle of wine back to his camp, he happened to meet the company commander. He had to lie and say: I bought this bottle of wine with the colonel. Half belongs to the colonel. ?

the company commander thundered:? Give me the other half! ?

the soldier said slowly: Can't pour. My half is down there. ?

5. In the evening, Pol.ice saw a drunkard circling around the big barrel on the roadside and said: What's the matter with you?

　? Nothing! When I go home, my home is at the end of this wooden fence. ?

7. GREAT GHOST: The scare plan failed last night!

The kid complained: It's all your fault. You didn't choose a place to scare people. Why did you go to a massage parlor for the blind?

8. I went to the mountains to sketch. Seeing a beautiful hut by the roadside, I sat down opposite the hut and began to draw.

9. Looking at the almost half-destroyed conference room, Hitler shouted hysterically:? Stauffenberg this bastard, incredibly want to blow me up! Who the hell ordered him to do this?

The Gestapo quickly came up with the investigation result: Tibetan.

facing the Fuehrer's query, Himmler replied:? Every Tibetan knows this assassination plan, and they never hide it. The first thing they say when they meet anyone is: bomb Hitler.

1. Driving to the funeral, the road was foggy, so I turned on the headlights for safety.

after the funeral, when I went to drive, I found that I forgot to turn off the headlights just now and the car couldn't start.

I had to go back to the funeral home for help, and the undertaker came to answer the door. I said:? My car can't move. ?

he said,? Sorry, cars are not buried here. ?

11. Getting up early for work, a buddy from Lu Yu hurried by. Greet him: What are you doing?

answer:? Walking the dog. ?

in a few minutes, this buddy hurried back from his side. Ask him: What's the matter?

buddy said calmly: I forgot my dog. ?

12. A pregnant woman went to the hospital for a checkup, and an intern took a B-ultrasound for her. After the photo was taken, the intern said very seriously: You should be prepared, you may be pregnant with a freak, it has two heads, four hands and four legs! ?

The pregnant woman was so frightened that she almost fainted! At this time, an old doctor came over, looked at the B-ultrasound and said: What are you talking about? These are twins! ! ? It wasn't long before two villagers passed by me and looked at my painting. Then one of them said to the other: What is the child doing drawing a toilet?

13. A peddler is selling in the community: pears, fresh pears!

An old lady shouted: Hey, hey, come here! The peddler didn't hear, and the aunt continued to shout, I'm calling you. Are you deaf?

The peddler finally came, and the aunt asked, Do you sell peaches?

at the dinner table, grandma recalled the past.

Speaking of the flood disaster, say to my dad: Your brother was born with a lot of water, remember?

dad nodded and said:? Yeah, I remember. ?

15. There is a screen in front of the hotel downstairs, and four characters are written: Guests come like clouds.

I passed by last week and saw the boss standing in front of the screen and asked the waiter: How's business today?

waiter:? There are no clouds in the sky. ?

16. A patient said to the doctor: I always feel like a hen for half a year! ?

doctor:? Ah! It's been half a year. Why didn't you come earlier?

patient:? Because I want to eat eggs! ?

17. Lao Wang woke up from his dream and suddenly thought of forgetting to take sleeping pills. He took two sleeping pills out of the bottle and said to himself. Alas, I fell asleep without taking medicine. ?

18. It is a fierce battle to urge children to do their homework every weekend. My son was lying on the ground today and said to his father:? Reading is the most useless. I studied for six years and didn't earn a penny. If I spent these six years as a beggar, I don't know how much I earned. ?

dad shouted at him angrily:? You go and ask for it! ?

the son whispered: If you think about this, the paper in front of me will be unlucky, and at least four words will be written: parents are dead

19. One day, I was washing clothes in the water room, and a MM came in and I said to her: Marry me. ?

at that time, she was stunned and speechless. I said: What are you doing? Give me the hanger. "

2. At a religious ceremony in a church, because there were not enough chairs in the church, the bishop had to sit on a simple box.

Shortly after the ceremony began, the box suddenly cracked and the Bishop fell to the ground. However, no one laughed at this.

after a while, the bishop said to the pastor of the church. People here are really polite. ?

the priest said? No, No, they think this is part of the ceremony? .

21. A: What do black people fear most?

B: I don't know, er, what is it?

A: chocolate.

B: why?

A: for fear of biting your hand?

22. A couple celebrated their golden wedding. After a few drinks, the husband said to his wife: I'm sorry, I'm not honest with you. I haven't told you for so many years. In fact, I'm color blind! ?

the wife said excitedly: I'm sorry, too. I've been hiding it from you for so many years. In fact, I'm black! ;