Have people laugh at your jokes

1. The unlucky Japanese. People from four countries were traveling by plane. The plane was suddenly overloaded. The pilot said: Our plane is now overweight, and one person must jump off. "The Americans shouted: "Long live the United States of America" ??and jumped out of the plane. The pilot said: It's still too heavy and they have to jump another one. The British shouted: "Long live the Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" and then jumped off the plane. At this time, the driver said that he was more important and wanted to jump again. The Chinese came out, and the Japanese held the Chinese's hand affectionately and said, "I will never forget the kindness of the Chinese people in my life!" At this time, the Chinese shouted: "Long live the Republic of China!" "Then he kicked the Japanese down. The next day, people from four countries took a plane to travel abroad. Unexpectedly, the plane broke down. The Americans said, there are three parachutes here, and one of us must jump off the plane. The American said: "I will give you a question, and whoever can't answer it will jump off. "All three people agreed. The Americans asked the Chinese: "How many suns are there in the sky? ” Chinese: “One. "The Americans asked the British: "How many moons are there in the sky? "British man: "One. "The Americans asked the Japanese: "How many stars are there in the sky? " Japanese: "..." The Americans kicked him off. On the third day, they took a plane trip again, and the plane broke down again. The Americans said: "There are only three parachutes here. Someone must get off the plane. As usual, I will set the question. "The Americans asked the Chinese: "A few years ago, a giant passenger ship crashed. What was it called? ” Chinese: “Titanic.” "The Americans asked the British: "How many people died in that accident? ” UK: “1503 people. The Americans asked the Japanese again: "What are the names of the 1,503 people?" " Japan: "..." The United States kicked the Japanese in the face and kicked him off the plane. On the fourth day, the four of them went on a trip again, and the plane broke down again. The Americans came over at this time, but they didn't say anything yet. Japan yelled: "Forget it, you don't have to kick me, I'll jump by myself." After saying that, he jumped off the plane. The American shouted to the door: "Damn, you are sick. There are 5 parachutes on the plane today!" ” 2. Literary poems about teachers: When the Chinese teacher turns around, Lu Xun is willing to be a bully

When the math teacher turns around, he can ask for six yuan six times

When the English teacher turns around, he speaks in foreign language Run around the world

When the physics teacher turns around, a lever will pry the earth

When the chemistry teacher turns around, carbon dioxide turns into gasoline

When the labor teacher turns around, everything is broken. Come to the catwalk

When the physical education teacher turned around, Daiyu could also play football

When the political teacher turned around, the whole class was sleepwalking

When the art teacher turned around, he was confused Na Lisa is also romantic 3. Failed interview examiner; What is the retail price of Windows 7 Professional Edition in mainland China?

Me: 5 yuan

Examiner: Get out, next person?

The word "give up" never appeared in my dictionary.

I applied and applied.

Finally got the opportunity to interview at Google< /p>

However, when I went to Google for an interview, I was kicked out after answering just one question...

Examiner: Where did you get the news about the Google interview?

Me :Baidu

Examiner: Go out, next one

Brother is depressed, but he still has to support himself first.

I dragged my friend to find a job at McDonald's. .

But the other party was very perverted and asked me to sing McDonald's songs.

My brother laughed at that time. I have known McDonald's songs since I was a child.

So I did. He opened his mouth and said: With KFC, life is great!

Examiner: Go out~~~~~~~~

The interview at McDonald’s failed.

My mother asked someone to find a mobile customer service job.

My mother said that this job does not require technical skills. You can try it first. I agreed without thinking about it.

The interview went smoothly. The other party also appreciated me very much, and finally the examiner said to me:

You are very good, please leave your phone number so that we can notify you to go to work.

Me: "132... ...."

Examiner: Get out...

My heart is broken... I have been unemployed for so long, eating and drinking from home.

My family looked at me with a little helplessness.

I walked to a shopping mall and saw Adi looking for a clerk. I thought I should try. The examiner said: Please tell me our slogan. ,

Me: just do it

Examiner: Get out, next one.

Failures again and again did not dampen my confidence.

So I calmed down, studied hard, and finally got admitted to our local civil service with excellent results.

However, I still had to go through the interview process.

I answered the question well, and when I saw the examiner's face, I felt that there was no problem with my work.

I was very happy.

The examiner asked me: Young man, which historical figure do you like best?

I answered without thinking: Heshen!

Examiner: Get out.

After this failure, I have made important considerations about life. Looking back on the past,

I finally discovered that the most important thing is that I have some questions to answer. wrong.

But for this interview, I was fully prepared.

NOKIA’s product department notified me, and I spent a week doing all the work.

Even the slogan is correct: technology is people-oriented.

The examiner was very satisfied and said: If nothing happens, you can come to work tomorrow.

At this time, the phone rang, and a discordant voice appeared: "HELLO MOTO". 4. A man was adventuring alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he yelled to the sky: "I'm dead, God, save me!" As soon as the light appeared in the sky, a voice came: "Not sure yet, you pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader. Die." So he picked up the largest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, killing him. The tribesmen were all stunned for a moment, and then looked at each other angrily. At this time, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 5. Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. The train ticket you want If not, will you obey the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After I got the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did they give me a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

Booking Office: Didn’t you say that you should obey the adjustment? 6. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day I saw two Russian workers on the road in Russia. One was digging holes beside the road with a shovel, and he was digging a hole every three meters. The other worker was immediately backfilling the hole that the previous worker had just dug. The Americans were curious and asked the first Russian worker: "Why did the man behind you fill the hole as soon as you dug it?" Get up? ”

The Russian worker replied: “We are greening the road. I dig holes, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills in the soil. But the second person asked for leave today and didn't come.

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