On the honeymoon after marriage, my sister-in-law insisted on going with her, but she got angry. What do you think about this?

-01-

I have always been thinking, what does it take for people to get along with each other? If you think about it carefully, getting along requires people to be sincere to each other.

But it is too difficult to be sincere. Everyone has this idea: It is necessary to be on guard against others. When getting along with others, they will be on guard against each other, and they are afraid that others will plot against them. With such thoughts, how could one be able to show his sincerity?

As we all know, couples should trust each other most in marriage. Trust is the cornerstone of marriage. If there is no trust in a marriage, it is equivalent to water without roots and cannot last long at all.

In marriage, couples have to face too many difficulties, and trust can easily be lost if they are not careful. Among the many difficulties, the relationship with the original family members is undoubtedly the most difficult.

As someone said, marriage in our country is often not a matter between two people, but a mutual adjustment between two families. The relationship between family members on both sides often leads to conflicts, which is undoubtedly a blow to the relationship between the couple.

The relationship between the original family members is complicated, and the environment and educational philosophy of the two families are very different, which can easily lead to conflicts.

-02-

When couples deal with their relationships with their original family members, they can easily be swayed by their emotions and make some behaviors that may seem extremely irrational to outsiders. In fact, if we put ourselves in their shoes, we can understand that they are our own family members after all. Even if we do something wrong, we cannot bear to break up with them.

If you can’t break up with your family of origin, you will have to feel sorry for your significant other. In fact, this approach is very irresponsible from the perspective of its impact on marriage.

How to choose between the "small family" and the "big family" has always been a worry for every couple. If you choose "Little Family", your relatives in "Big Family" will feel chilled; if you choose "Big Family", the other half of your "Little Family" will have conflicts with you. Whichever side you choose, you will feel distressed.

How to strike a balance between "small family" and "everyone" is something every couple should learn.

In fact, many times what we think is a complicated problem is just that we think it is complicated, and the solution is actually very simple. Just like relationships with family of origin, most issues can be dealt with as long as you maintain an appropriate sense of boundaries.

Maintaining a sense of boundaries is the simplest and most effective method. As long as couples learn this method, I believe that most conflicts can be resolved calmly.

-03-

My friend Xiaolu got married six months ago, which was originally a happy event. But something happened after the marriage, which made Xiaolu feel very angry and had a quarrel with her husband. Now the two are still at odds. Xiaolu often comes to me to complain.

Xiaolu said: She had just been married for more than half a year when she encountered such a situation, which had already affected the relationship between the couple. If we don't change in the days to come, I feel that the future is very slim.

Xiaolu is 27 years old and works in a real estate company with a fair income. Her husband, Ah Chao, is a salesperson. The two met through buying a house.

At that time, Achao and his parents wanted to buy a house, so they happened to go to Xiaolu’s company to learn about the situation. Xiaolu received them. At that time, Ah Chao saw that Xiaolu was pretty, so he asked for her contact information.

A Chao often asks Xiao Lu out, and Xiao Lu doesn’t have a bad impression of A Chao. So the two of us met a few times and found each other pretty good, so we got together not long after.

And that house also became the wedding room of the two people in the future. Whenever this matter is mentioned, Xiaolu and Achao always laugh and marvel at the wonder of fate.

-04-

Xiao Lu and A Chao have been in love for about a year. The two have been living together in the house bought by A Chao.

After long-term contact, Xiaolu also learned about the situation in Achao’s family. Ah Chao comes from a good family, his parents both work in state-owned enterprises, and he also has a younger sister who is attending college.

Ah Chao, this younger sister, has been spoiled by her parents since she was a child. In addition, Ah Chao also dotes on her, so she is a bit arrogant. On weekdays, when I see Xiaolu, she also looks indifferent.

Not only that, my sister often went to live at Achao's house, regardless of Xiaolu's embarrassment. In her words, my brother's house is my home and I can come whenever I want.

Achao also dotes on his younger sister and often spoils her. I often give my sister money on weekdays, for fear that she won’t have enough money to spend. My sister-in-law spends money lavishly, and when she has no money, she asks her parents and brother for money.

For a while, Xiaolu was a little jealous, feeling that Achao was better to her sister than to herself. They have never pampered themselves like that. Achao comforted her and said that she was his sister and he had been used to doting on her like this since she was a child. Besides, how do you compare with her? You are my wife, and my days of pampering you will come later.

Xiao Lu was so happy by Ah Chao's sweet words that she became less hostile to her sister-in-law.

-05-

After the two people fell in love for more than a year, they were ready to get married. Both parents agreed with the marriage of the two people, and there were no twists and turns in the marriage.

Before getting married, Xiaolu and Achao discussed that they would travel abroad for their honeymoon after getting married. The two discussed it for a long time and finally decided to travel to the Maldives.

It is very expensive to travel abroad, especially to places like the Maldives. The cost is even higher. The total budget for two people is more than 30,000.

But Xiaolu wanted to go, so Achao agreed. After getting married, the two of them made preparations and signed up for a group tour.

Unexpectedly, my sister-in-law knew somewhere that the two of them were going to travel to the Maldives, so she clamored to go with them.

Of course Xiaolu disagreed. This was a honeymoon trip, a trip for two people. What are you doing as an outsider following you? Isn't it causing trouble?

Unexpectedly, the sister-in-law caused a huge quarrel and insisted on following her. She even called her parents over to force Xiaolu to have a baby.

The parents-in-law doted on this daughter very much, so they discussed with Xiaolu: Otherwise, you can take her with you, since we are a family anyway. This money is a big deal for us.

-06-

Xiaolu’s attitude was very determined: “Mom and Dad, it’s not that I don’t want to take her with me. You also know that this is a honeymoon trip, and I just want to be with Ah Chao. Go, let’s take my sister-in-law with us when we go on a trip later.”

Seeing Xiaolu’s resolute attitude, the parents-in-law had nothing to say. Unexpectedly, my sister-in-law went to beg A Chao, rolling on the ground and begging his brother to take her.

Ah Chao agreed immediately. As soon as the sister-in-law heard that her brother agreed, she immediately said arrogantly to Xiaolu: "Is it useful if you don't take me? My brother will take me and see what you can do to me."

Xiaolu was very angry. , said to her: "Why are you so ignorant? This is your brother and I's honeymoon trip. If you want to travel, you can also get married!"

The two of them started to quarrel. In the end, Xiaolu yelled at Ah Chao: "You're taking her with you, right? Well, I won't go, you two can go!"

Xiaolu really canceled the flight and so on out of anger Got back home. After Ah Chao came home, he kept complaining that she was ignorant. How could such an adult be angry with a little girl?

Xiao Lu burst out immediately: "We just got married, and your sister is getting involved in everything. Will she cause trouble in this family in the future? Let me tell you, that is your sister, She’s not my sister. I have no obligation to spoil her. If she comes to my place again to cause trouble, don’t blame me for being rude!”

-07-

Xiaolu and Xiaolu had an affair because of this incident! Ah Chao had a quarrel, which was originally a happy event, but because of the intervention of his sister-in-law, it turned into a conflict between the couple.

Many times, some members of the original family do not understand the concept of boundaries. They always interfere in the marriage of husband and wife at will and cause conflicts between husband and wife.

At this time, husband and wife should pay attention and handle it properly based on the principle of "helping the husband, not the relatives". Only in this way can both parties be convinced. Only then will there be no crisis of trust between husband and wife, and the relationship will be smooth sailing.

It is not advisable to blindly indulge family members of origin, because this will only destroy your marriage and make your partner feel disappointed in you. It's not worth the effort.