Lovely and funny diary

A joke about Ali: Ali, can you stop being so cute?

1。

Ali's mother asked Ali to wash clothes.

Ali soaked all his dirty clothes in a big pot.

Sitting alone, staring at the clothes in the basin, I said, honey, take a shower by yourself!

2。

Dr Allen: What's the matter with you, Bear?

Bear: I'm full!

Dr Allen: What's the matter?

Bear: Take a shower after dinner, and then forget it.

I have already eaten, and I went to eat again.

Dr Allen: Yes. . . .

3。

Ali: Look, if Taozi wants to talk about being a car model, just nod.

She added that she was the best model of handcarts, and now she regrets saying so.

Mika: Yes. . . . .

4。

Ali bought peach a bottle of mineral water.

Ali: Let me open it for you. . . Hey? . . . .

Bear:. . .

Shadow:. . . .

Shadow: Peach, look over there!

Peach: Huh?

The bear whispered, "Shadow is buying time for you." You should turn it around quickly You can twist mineral water into peaches with a little force!

5。

On the battlefield filled with smoke,

Soldier: Attack! Attack! ! Ali! Bear! Shadow! I demand that you attack! ! ! I'm not asking you to pretend to be a dick! ! !

6。

Shadow: What happened to Ali?

Bear: It has been hit like never before.

Shadow: What blow?

Bear: He always thought that Peach told him that he loved you. Only today did he know that what others said was actually a dwarf raccoon.

Shadow:. . . .

7。

In the afternoon, Ali and the bear played cards.

It's time for a showdown!

Ali prayed sincerely and said, please give me a good card from Almighty God! ! !

As a result, the next opened card reads: good card!

8。

Ali: Bear, what do you think of my shape?

Bear: others are modeling, but you are making it!

Ali: Yes. . . .

9。

After reading Journey to the Center of the Earth,

Ali decided to travel far!

As a result, he walked a few blocks and bought a cone. . .

10。

Ali and his friends got lost in the emerald forest after their spring outing.

Mika! ! I asked you to bring a map before you went out, but you brought a globe with a P! !

1 1。

Ali, do you want to eat strawberries?

Want to!

Then wash it yourself.

Then don't eat.

. . . . .

12。

Have you ever eaten chicken rolls? !

Have you ever eaten chicken rolls? !

Have you ever eaten chicken rolls? !

You can take this!

There really is!

This is often the case!

Children who like to eat chicken rolls were angels with broken wings in their last lives! ! !

Do you want to eat chicken rolls in various ways every day? ! !

Really? ! Really? !

Children who like to eat chicken rolls can't afford to be hurt! ! ! !

Shadow, what happened to Ali?

It's nothing. . . He is practicing his speech because he wants to suggest chicken rolls for lunch.

13。

When washing dishes, ali dad said that when I told you my confession, your answer made me very happy.

Ali's mother: Huh? What did I say?

Dad Ali: Let me ask you, do you love me? You said love.

Ali's mother: Ah, I didn't hear you ask me. I said, "Oh, dear".

Ali's father:. . .

14。

Mica rabbit said to Ali bear, I'll show you a magic trick!

Mika suddenly raised the magic towel on the top hat.

Look! Lucky rabbit's feet can still move! !

This is your own foot, isn't it? Ali said. . .

15。

Genie: Did you call me out? I can grant you three wishes. You have to thank me.

Ali: It's also your wish to satisfy my wish. You should thank me ~

Lamp god:. . . . .

16。

Ali, do you think if I am caught by the Great Devil, you will become an ideal knight and ride a white horse to save me?

No, my dream is to be a big devil, so that I can catch the princess.

Bang!

17。

Bear, we can't get in this door! !

Huh? All you have to do is shout open sesame.

I know, but this door is Arabic. You can't understand when you speak Chinese!

18。

Hello, did you make the mermaid princess's tail into a potion for her legs?

Yes, what can I do for you?

Well, can you give me some potions?

How come? Have you met the mermaid princess?

No, I want to dip it when I eat shrimp, so I can eat two shrimp tails. .

19。

Ali and the puppet take the exam.

Halfway through the exam,

I heard the puppet next to me quietly talking to himself:

This question a is right! !

After that, his nose became longer.

Then he said:

This question B is right! !

The nose is getting longer again!

This question c is right! !

The puppet's nose suddenly recovered!

Ali: Yes. . . .

Later, all puppet multiple-choice questions got full marks. . .

20。

On Sunday afternoon, Ali and Bear are in the cafe.

Bear: Look, Ali! Rabbit! Rabbit!

Ali: What's the fuss? What's so beautiful about rabbits?

Bear: Look, Ali! Rabbit! Rabbit!

Ali: I don't want to see it ~

Bear: Look, Ali! Rabbit! Rabbit!

Ali: What a nuisance. Where can I have a look?

Ali looked up and saw a bald rabbit running past. . .

2 1。

Shadow: What are you doing?

Ali: I'm doing Franklin's experiment.

Maybe I will get another kind of current and add another kind of energy to the world.

Or I become the flash. Let the world have one more protector ~

Shadow: I think you will only give the world one more way to die.

22。

In the afternoon cafe,

Peach suddenly wants to drink water.

Ali poured her a cup of hot water.

Suddenly I felt that the water was too hot, and I was afraid that the peaches would burn.

Ali changed her a glass of cold water.

I think the water is too cold.

So Ali poured a cup of hot water.

Take out another ice cube from the refrigerator and put it in.

A cup of warm water.

23。

Bear said to Ali, I have a crush on a girl.

Ali: Ah, who is it?

Bear: It's a girl named Honey.

Ali: Yes. . .

It happened that the girl passed them.

Ali shouted:

Honey. Bear has a crush on you! !

What happened afterwards? I don't know, either.

I'm Xue

Thank you for listening attentively to every story I wrote for you.

If you also love words.

If you also love novels.

Article 2: Is the Hall of Great Heroes the hero in Doraemon?

Yesterday, I took my cousin to visit the temple. My cousin pointed to the plaque in the hall and asked me: Is the Hall of Heroes the Hall of Heroes in Doraemon?

In an instant, the sacred image of Buddhism for thousands of years has become much more lovely in my heart.

Go to the Internet cafe to play games on weekends.

The phone rang suddenly, and I answered it, and my friend's earnest words came from my ear: people in their twenties only know how to play games online all day, so it is no wonder that they can't find a girlfriend. Can you make a difference?

I am puzzled: what do you think?

I have a lot of complaints. I am short of one of these three!

The English teacher said after class that some students didn't understand the topic. Please come and ask me in private.

So, I really took the exercise questions down and asked the teacher.

The little grey rabbit and the little white rabbit help the old goat collect cabbage. After the harvest, the old goat gave them a car full of cabbages. The little grey rabbit says thank you happily. The white rabbit said, I don't want cabbage. Please give me some seeds. The old goat smiled and said, well, leave your email address.

The rooster was killed by someone. Sheriff Black Cat asked the doorman, Do you know who killed the rooster? Uncle dog thought for a moment: hen. Hearing this, the hen jumped out and swore, damn it, can you speak without a Cantonese accent? ...

Man: Look, when did the heroine in the novel and movie tell the hero about the house and car?

Woman: That's what you don't understand! You can't be a hero without a car and a house.

One day, a good friend asked me to describe him with a song.

I said, well, what a nice Chinese song!

He: Why?

Me: Hey, you two, hey, hey, hey, you two!

He:

A few days ago, my girlfriend was in a bad mood and suddenly asked me, do you remember what I told you that time?

Which time?

You really don't remember, get out!

If a woman wants to make trouble, God can't stop her!

A friend's house has a great husky, a special kind, which has been eyeing the fish in the aquarium at home.

In order to eat fish, one day I spent two hours drinking water from the fish tank while my master was away.

When the master came back, two idiots were lying on the ground vomiting and diarrhea.

One day, Mr. AB and his wife went on a trip to the forest, but unfortunately they got lost.

A jun said: don't be afraid, I have a map.

After that, I took the map to Mr. B. Mr. B opened it happily: You brought a map of the world?

Jun: Mm-hmm.

Where is the beauty?

Just look in the mirror.

dislike

Then you see everyone is beautiful.

Yesterday, when I was waiting for the bus at the station, I heard a mother next to me educating her teenage son: Son, you must remember that learning this thing takes three minutes to be destined for heaven, and seven minutes depends on hard work. You can't do it without hard work.

Hearing this, the child said thoughtfully, what about the remaining 90 points?

A friend is at the funeral home.

When I was bored in the middle of the night, I used WeChat to search for people nearby and found a girl. I sent a message to my sister immediately.

After a long time, I received a reply from the other party: Big Brother, can you burn me an iPhone5? I like white! Thank you, good people. Have a safe life!

I am a male, a senior, single for four years, so lonely.

I recently fell in love with a drift bottle and look forward to a beautiful encounter.

Today, a bottle thrown out by a QQ number was actually picked up by another number!

I can't live this life!

My son is four years old and bought him a comic book of Journey to the West.

After three days, I asked him which role he wanted to be. I didn't expect him to want to be white!

Asked why, he said: Because monsters never catch horses.

My cousin works in other places and goes back to his hometown by train.

Just getting on the bus, I saw a buddy sitting in his seat, so I said politely, big brother, this is my seat.

I didn't expect this guy to look at the ticket and seat number and get angry: Are you blind?

My cousin looked at him sadly and said nothing.

After two stops, I saw the buddy fall asleep. I woke him up gently and said simply, eldest brother, you seem to be on the wrong bus.

A new physics teacher came. He asked a classmate: What do you think of this?

Our class burst into laughter.

The teacher added: I haven't said Fiona Fang yet, what are you laughing at!

The baby is two months old, and my wife has just finished feeding and is lying down to play.

The wife asked the baby: Baby, is mom the most beautiful?

The baby laughed and threw up.

The whole family went to the temple to worship Buddha and pray. When I was a few years old, my little brother made a wish to the Buddha: bless Altman to defeat the monster!

My sister and brother-in-law came back from other places and bought a pair of shoes for my father. They called my father and asked him how big his feet were.

Just listen to dad: don't buy it! I do. Don't waste money! 40 yards, don't buy it wrong!

On the phone with my boyfriend at night, I asked him to call me beauty.

He was silent for a few seconds, then said, don't say such things again, which is not conducive to unity.

On my way home from work today, I overheard two annoying men talking.

I just like this ass, it looks good, and the others are really ugly to me.

This ass is too small. I like big ass. Big ass looks good.

I thought to myself that these two people are really obscene, saying these things so loudly on the side of the road.

Then, one of them spoke: I like big ones, so buy a van. This van has a big ass.

I hid my face and left. I think too much.

Man: What do you want from me? Will you stop being unreasonable?

Woman: unreasonable, yes, I am unreasonable! As a man, can't you say you are sorry? You can just say sorry!

M: sorry.

W: Do you think just saying sorry is enough?

A buddy loves online shopping so much that he writes his screen name every time he buys online.

Every time the goods arrived, the courier cheered many times before going downstairs to get them.

So the whole community will hear an impatient voice:

Your majesty, your express delivery!

Bar, basketball game, Guangdong VS Bayi.

Wang dribbled the ball from the backcourt to the opponent's basket and dunked.

Everyone applauded. A smoker was very excited and shouted: Yao Ming has entered again.

Two primary school students went to an internet cafe to play games, and they met someone fighting on the way.

Student A stopped to look, and student B shouted impatiently, what are you looking at? You can't increase your experience just by looking!