She cheated on you after four years of dating, can you choose to forgive her?

I was with my ex for five years

The year I met her, she was 19 years old. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend until the day she came back from traveling with me. Yes, she Fucked her ex. She told her ex that she didn't want to leave me and they broke up that day. She told me that they had no feelings for a long time, and I still feel sorry for that little boy.

When I traveled to Thailand two years later, I discovered that she was having an affair with an uncle who was almost forty years old. After dating me, she went to see the uncle for dinner. He refused to admit it, and said it as if he was squeezing toothpaste bit by bit with the evidence. He admitted to kissing, but refused to admit to having sex. I knelt on the ground all night and begged me for forgiveness. I sent a voice message to the uncle saying that I had a boyfriend and that I had done something wrong. He said that he broke up with his first love because of me, how could I give up on her so easily. In the end, I relented and chose to forgive, but from that moment on, wariness sprouted in my heart.

Two years later, I was caught in a relationship with a Japanese boy. It had been over a month. Dates every weekend. Why did I realize it so late? It was because I was very busy with my work during those two years. I traveled all the time on business and rarely had time to come back on weekends. But I make time to meet her for dinner every week. I have a temper and never check the whistle. I believe that those who are loyal will not leave, and those who want to cheat will not be loyal. So she took advantage of my trust and lied to others again that she was single.

This time she was confident and said that she needed someone to accompany her. It was because I was too busy and didn't care about her. The boy was gentle and considerate and was very kind to her. She made the mistake.

I looked at her and remembered the old saying: A dog can never change its habit of eating shit.

One day, I led a group of people to block the Japanese boy at the Hangzhou Grand Theater and slapped him twice. The boy was trembling with fear and collapsed on the ground.

I said one slap was given to you because you slept with other people’s girlfriends casually, and the other slap was given to you to receive it for her, because she is now your girlfriend and I can’t slap her. woman. I was filled with anger, but I tried to restrain myself from being impulsive and hurting someone. It was not worth it for me to lose my career because of such a cheating woman.

I told the Japanese, I said that the independent woman you see is all an illusion, and everything about her is false. She doesn't spend your money to be with you because all her expenses are mine.

In front of the Japanese, I canceled the binding of my family number, reported the loss of my credit card, and canceled the intimacy payment. I say you should treat your girlfriend well. She must have seen all the cancellation notices and called me like crazy, but I blocked her.

In all these years of living, I have suffered from insomnia no more than three times. I had insomnia for three months because of this. I finally came out and could calmly think about these things.

I don’t hate her now. A gay friend told me last time that she was now 130 pounds. I smiled lightly: It has nothing to do with me anymore. Maybe for Taurus, eating can solve a thousand worries. After all, you are used to spending tens of thousands a month, so it must be very uncomfortable to live on a salary of less than 5,000 yuan now, right?

The only regret is: I originally sent her to learn Japanese to help me with my work, but unexpectedly it turned into a tool for cheating on me.

Let me start with a harsh word: Don’t say you have been in love for four years, even if you have been in love for ten years, cheating is unforgivable!

This is a matter of principle!

On this issue, there are essential differences between men and women.

Let’s look at men first. As long as she is a woman, even if she is not as beautiful as her girlfriend, as long as she is not ugly. She wants something to happen, and it will most likely happen. While men feel that they are attractive, they also feel that they are taking advantage.

Men feel that sex is sex, and he will still love you after you have done it.

Let’s look at women.

When a woman cheats, the person she cheats on must be better than you in some way. They can compare and weigh. Faced with the same situation, men have long forgotten everything. There is a high probability that women will not cheat, but once they do, they have no intention of looking back. They may hide it from you, but once you find out, they will not hold you back.

Women always fall in love deeply before something happens naturally.

Of course, this is the majority, not everyone is the same. If everyone was the same and had rules to follow, this society would be stable.

Some people say: "There are only zero and countless cheating times." This sentence is very agreeable to everyone. If you search for keywords, there will always be countless cases to convince you.

But cruel words are cruel words after all. If you can guarantee that there will be no next time, she will still love you. Get the cheating partner without the other person's knowledge and let him leave the city. Then just turn a blind eye.

If both parties clearly know about this, then let’s break up. It has become a grudge that cannot be eliminated.

This is a matter of principle. Regardless of men or women, cheating will be punished.

Why not choose to let yourself go. You are still young and have plenty of time to do more of what you want to do.

A person who cheats on you is destined to part ways because of this mistake, so why don’t you forgive someone who will have nothing to do with you in the future?

Just like you said, the more than four years you have been in love have been the most beautiful love. From high school to now, you have actually experienced a very pure beauty. For you, this will be a beautiful memory in your life.

Based on the time you mentioned, you are probably in college now, in a campus with handsome men and beautiful women, and in a small society where materials flow everywhere. You will inevitably face more at this point in time. The temptation of chaos.

Being green in such an environment is both accidental and inevitable. I can only say that reality has taught you a vivid lesson. It also allows you to see that feelings are really not static.

Past relationships only represent a romantic time for you. If you are innocent and simple, you should be lucky to have such a partner who can take you to experience the feeling of going from heaven to hell when you are ignorant. You not only have the innocence of love, but also experience the changes in the world. You should understand by now that feelings are not based on your will.

It is said that you only care about what you once had. Although it seems to comfort yourself, at your age, there is really not much to regret. Being young is really good, it means you have the capital to squander and allow yourself to be willful occasionally. Even if you can't imagine what will be waiting for you in the future, the ups and downs of every relationship may be a blessing and a blessing for you. People are beautiful because of their experiences.

In the past, present, and future, you may meet many people you like or others who like you in the world of mortals, but there will always be only one and only one who can truly accompany you all the way. Hate, how long can you hate, love, how long can you love. Forgiving someone for their mistakes is also a way of letting go of yourself invisibly. You don't need to continue to hurt the other person's body and soul. People always have to pay the price for what they do.

Therefore, don’t think that forgiveness is an unbelievable thing. It is also a fulfillment of yourself. In the long river of love and the long road of life, she may be just a passerby to you after all, maybe There will be short-term heartache and sadness. But please remember, since she is not in your future plans, get away from this green tree as soon as possible so that you can have a chance to find better scenery.

I wish you all the best.

When we talk about infidelity, what do we think of? A flirtation? A true love story? A sneaky porn flick? Paid sex? Or "Liaosao" on hookup apps?

In the eyes of 1,000 people, there may be 1,000 standards for cheating.

Since entering the Internet age, people’s definition of infidelity has been expanding. And because there is no generally accepted definition of what constitutes infidelity, the rate of infidelity fluctuates greatly: from 26% to 75%.

But no matter how the standard for derailment is determined, no matter how the data fluctuates, the fact is that it has been common in the world since ancient times. And how do we deal with this behavior that is common, but also generally resisted and disgusted?

Adultery is a taboo in marriage. What specific damage did it cause?

First, what infidelity shatters is a person’s grand belief in love.

Each of us has a fantasy about an ideal partner: there is such a person who can meet our endless needs in all aspects. He is my best partner, caring friend, competent parent, Reliable confidants, emotional companions and intellectual rivals.

And I am the other person’s true love/daughter. I am the chosen one, indispensable and irreplaceable. But the fact of cheating told myself, "I am not."

Second, a partner’s infidelity threatens a person’s self-perception.

"I thought I knew my life well. I thought I knew each other, our relationship, and myself. But now, I question everything." A partner The cheating client told his counselor.

We first choose to trust a person and enter a stable intimate relationship with him or her. We trust each other’s loyalty with unprecedented enthusiasm. While exposing each other’s vulnerability, we also endow each other with The other party harms our rights. Infidelity leads to a breakdown of trust and a crisis of identity.

It makes people wonder, "Can I still trust you? Can I trust anyone else?" These questions will linger in the mind and trouble people who have been hurt by their partner's cheating.

Some people believe that "Once you cheat, you will always cheat" and use this as an argument to persuade others to break up. In past eras, divorce was a stigma for people. But now, choosing to endure the humiliation, clinging to the incomplete, and "choosing to forgive" when divorce is possible is the shame of the new era.

Whether it is entertainment news or people around you, as long as a cheating incident occurs, public opinion will basically turn to the side of the "victim", "Would you like to keep them for the New Year?!"

So when a person experiences an affair of cheating on his partner, he cannot tell it to his friends at all. He is afraid that when he tells others this, everyone will think that he still loves the other person. Because no matter who you talk to, you will only get the same advice: leave him! Let him fend for himself! He deserved it.

This is the time when the questioner is most confused. Regarding cheating, although everyone said it was a bottom line issue, it definitely cannot be forgiven.

But at the end of the day, the truth is still the same, and in real life, most people who are cheated on will forgive the cheating party for the first time.

Just like you said, you have been together for 4 years. You have been with each other for many years and experienced a lot of things. In such a relationship, it is impossible to break up immediately.

But most people, or most people, will still give a chance to try to repair this relationship. If you can continue to fall in love and get married regardless of the past grievances, then this will be just an episode.

The question asked at this time is whether you want to forgive, whether you want to give each other a chance, no one will not make mistakes, no relationship will not go through ups and downs... and other questions.

What I mean is, if you decide to forgive her and move on with her, please be sure to negotiate the following issues between you.

1. Carefully analyze each other, why did she cheat? Is it because you are not treating her well, or you are seeking excitement, or it is because of other people's coercion and inducement, etc.

2. Can you consider changing your living environment, such as changing jobs, moving, raising pets, etc.

3. Can she cancel the account she was in contact with at the time of the affair?

4. Economic aspects must be involved. But you can't control her salary card, but the finances can't be too tight or too loose. To put it bluntly, you are only in the relationship stage now.

The next thing that remains is to build up your mind. This is too difficult.

Finally

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If you continue, I hope you can go on forever. If you try hard and still can't remove the thorn in your heart, choose to break up. I hope you find this relationship worthwhile.

It is not your fault whether you are green or being green. She is willing to accompany you for four years. This is worthy of recognition. Think about how many four years there are in life. People are always looking for novelty in life. Maybe she will Regret is something that will happen in the future. Now think about how to say goodbye properly

Never forgive, forgiving will make you greener and greener! I also have a relationship that started in high school, and everyone is very optimistic about the two of us. I also thought we were going to get married in the end! As a result, college has begun! He cheated! He deleted all the things about us in QQ space and closed the couple space. I asked him why, and he said he was afraid that his relatives would see it badly. I really fell in love with him at that time, so much that I fell in love with him with a negative IQ. I didn’t even think about how I didn’t delete anything in high school, but I was afraid that my parents would find out when I went to college. ? Later, when Weibo became popular, I asked him if he wanted to play. He said no, and even asked me not to play. I also obeyed and refused to play. Later, my classmate saw something I shouldn't have seen and reminded me to look at it. Only then did I realize that he had been flirting with me. Later, I went to the mistress and sent a message to question her. The mistress was even more vicious than me! Unite a lot of people to @me and scold me! Of course, some of them scolded my ex-boyfriend. He cried to me at the time and told me that he had lost all face in school. I felt so bad, and I asked him, do you still love me? He said he loved it, very much! So I struggled for a few days and decided to forgive him!

What happens next is really, really unimaginable to me! He still cheated again! He was living with his junior classmate at school! My innocence was shattered. I planned to go to his school to tell him face to face that yes, we had already become a long-distance relationship. I would drive to his school and back for more than ten hours, and there would be traffic jams. I had no money at the time and took the bus. I got carsick and vomited all the way and was so embarrassed! In fact, I tend to forgive him again. My schoolbag is full of his favorite food, which is very heavy! I am really pitifully stupid! When I went to school and he picked me up, I found out that the raincoat was a couple's raincoat. I really collapsed on the spot! After tossing and turning, I returned to my city and started to have a high fever. Then the next day I found that I had my period again, and this period lasted for sixty days. The doctor said it was an endocrine disorder caused by extreme emotions.

I thought he would feel sorry for me if I told him this. No, no, he continued to cheat on me. When I logged into his account on my computer, I really collapsed. I saw him and Others greet you and say some disgusting things. My mentality was completely shattered. This is how he treated our relationship for three and a half years!

There really is only once and countless times to cheat! The more you forgive, the more the other person will take advantage of you! There is also a girl next to me who is married and has relationships with three boys at the same time! Therefore, no matter how long you have been in love, it is not an excuse to be reluctant to leave. You must get out in time, otherwise you will definitely suffer.

The author believes that in marriage, the relationship between the sexes is generally handled in such a way that men are strong and women are weak.

The proportion of cases of male transference and infidelity is higher than that of females. It should be very rare for your girlfriends of four years to fall in love with you (forgive me for not hearing this). In my opinion she can never be forgiven. The first is sincerity. Both parties in love are not sincere in the process of contacting and understanding each other, let alone falling in love or making friends. The second is that you shouldn’t. The two of you have been in a relationship for four years. If you are not married yet, it is impossible for one of you not to cheat. Maybe you just found a reason to break up because you don't love the other person. Therefore, the man should never try to retain her. Once again, you don’t know how to force it. Wearing a green one with a green banner will protect her. If she accidentally wears another one, it will happen to you and your children, and it will be too late for you to regret it.

Cannot forgive!

Friends, there are only zero and countless times of cheating!

Whether it is love or marriage, the biggest fear is that the other party is unfaithful. Especially for men, it is a very difficult fact to accept that their girlfriend "cheats". "Cheating" is a terrifying word that makes people shudder when hearing it.

Faced with a woman's "cheating", some men may choose to leave the hateful woman who "cuckolded" them directly. And there are still some men who are willing to believe in the woman they love, so please let go of your hand. Even if you choose to forgive her temporarily, you can't go back to the past.

No matter what your usual relationship is, even if it is each other's first love, it is the most beautiful love in each of your hearts. When you find out that your girlfriend already has a cheating partner and has already cheated on you, it means that this behavior is not in line with some moral conditions, and it also means that there is already a problem with your girlfriend's character, so the boy will You shouldn't continue to be with a girl like this. If the boy still tolerates it, then the girl will still cheat on her in the future. Instead of letting herself be hurt continuously, it is better not to forgive in the beginning.

The scars caused by trivial matters in life can still be repaired, but cheating will cause psychological shadow, so break up early and relax.

Never! No! Second never! Third, never forgive!

There is only a difference between cheating zero times and countless times! You are cheating on someone before you get married. What kind of moral character and principles of life is this? Where is the bottom line? I haven’t gotten married yet, but after getting married, I’m still green again! Just like after the epidemic, my big A shares are green and my heart feels cold. It feels cold.

Once upon a time, a good friend fell in love in college. He and his boyfriend were inseparable and could not be separated for a moment. We were so envious! Later, my friend went to Shenzhen for an internship, but her boyfriend stayed in the local area. One night, a friend called me, feeling down. I asked her what was wrong, and after a while her voice came over and said that her boyfriend had cheated on her. Later his friend forgave him and they got back together! Unfortunately, this man had sex on and off three times, and they later got married! After the marriage, the man did not repent, continued to cheat, and had no sense of responsibility for his family and children.

The principles and bottom line of life must be revealed in time and the losses must be stopped in time!