I want a joke.

If I have a lot of important things, give me your email and I'll send it to you.

While Xiao Ming was waiting for the bus, a MM kept staring at him and laughing. He thinks he is handsome. After several laps, MM smiled more and more charming ... As a result, an aunt said: Young man, don't step on shit.

5. ` "This child looks exactly like me!" Big brother proudly said to his friend. "Don't be sad," the friend comforted. "It doesn't matter if the child is ugly or not, as long as it is healthy and lively."

8. "The tortoise and the snake go to the park with only one ticket. The tortoise wound the snake around its neck. When entering the park, the eagle checking in said, stop. The tortoise and the snake panicked. The eagle said, Look at your tortoise, wearing a tie!

1 1. "The couple were having a heated argument, and the police came to stop them after receiving the complaint. An angry woman opened the door. Policeman: Who is the head of the family? W: I'll tell you later. My husband and I are deciding this matter!

12. `The teacher asked the students: How to explain "sharing pain with others will halve the pain"? Xiao Lun replied: If my father hits me, I will hit my brother at once!

13. "A father took his son who just turned three to a violin concert. Halfway through the writing, the son suddenly asked his father, Dad, when can that man saw off that big wooden box?

14. `The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? Nobody answered ... Teacher: Nobody knows? At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said: That's because it's calm and naturally cold ...

15. A peasant woman was counting tall buildings when a liar came over: How many floors did she count? Okay, every floor, 5 yuan. Peasant women:15th floor. After paying the money, the bystander said: idiot. Peasant woman: He is stupid. Actually, I counted eighteen floors!

16. "Spiders compete for webs. Foreign spiders weave a big web, proud: broadband! China spiders fly around weaving a delicate ornament and say with a smile: A unique combination of heaven and earth, a Chinese knot!

20. "Once I took a bus, and there were many people on it. Suddenly, an emergency stop. I saw a man lean forward and hit a very fashionable woman. The man hurriedly apologized. The woman turned to the man and said, "Look at your character." Just when everyone in the car thought a war was about to break out. The man spoke: "Miss, this is not virtue, but inertia."

2 1. `The defendant promised his defense lawyer, "If you have the ability to put me in prison for only half a year, then you will get an extra fee of 1000." As a result, he finally got his wish. While collecting money, the lawyer said, "This is really a chore. The judges had hoped to be acquitted. "

22. "A lady went to take a snapshot. After the photo shoot, I'll get the auto-developed photos. After reading it, I exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey? A woman in the back said coldly, that's mine. Yours will have to wait for five minutes.

23. Wife: Hey, honey, today is Sunday, so please wash the sheets. Husband: What's the hurry? Just turn it upside down. Wife: Alas, you are too lazy. I reversed it once yesterday.

26. Yesterday, a friend called me and asked if the mayor of Wuhan was called Jiang Bridge. I said no, but he said that when I was crossing the river by train in Wuhan, I saw a billboard saying: Welcome to Wuhan Yangtze River Bridge!

28. After the English exam, the English teacher said to the class representative: Let the students who failed stay. As a result, the class representative wrote on the blackboard: after school, stay and not be afraid of death.

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

On the first day of an obstetrician's internship, his wife asked him, "How was today?" The doctor said, "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved. "

3 1. `The ostrich stared at the giraffe for the first time. The giraffe ran away shyly, and the ostrich chased it madly. Giraffe: Don't worry ... it's the first time to see you. Ostrich: I just want to ask … what brand of depilatory do you use?

33. After watching the news, my wife excitedly asked: If you fly into space by Shenzhou 5, what do you want to say to me most? The husband grabbed his wife's hand and said: The earth is still good and attractive!

36. Zhu Bajie burst into tears. Wukong asked what was going on. Bajie: I fell in love with a girl the other day and met her at a meat case in the vegetable market today.

40. `Monkeys eat, put them in their buttocks before eating! Because it ate a big peach last year, it finally pulled out the core, so now everything is measured.